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  1. #1
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Default [Writing Blog] Fluffywolf's adventures in fiction land

    Update:

    So, I've started to write something of a novel of sorts. Already 60 pages too. For anyone interested in reading it and commenting/critisizing it, the link is on the bottom of this post. I welcome any and all input!

    Present tense instead of past tense
    Although I am writing it in the present tense, even though it is not widely regarded as the proper way to write fiction, I am hoping that it gives a better perspective on the introverted thinking protagonist.
    I tried writing it in past tense, but felt I couldn't get the essence of the protagonist across that way.

    Story progression
    27 july:
    Although I started to write this story as a prologue to a larger story, I found the story did not develop as nicely as I wanted it to, without starting the main plot line. So I'm already heading towards that as we speak. Still, I find all the scenes written at the moment to be important for the reader to develop a bond with the characters and understand their personalities.



    Here's a link for those interested.
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...bK4/edit?pli=1
    Last edited by Fluffywolf; 07-27-2012 at 04:09 PM.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  2. #2
    Senior Member acronach's Avatar
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    *interest*

    will read this when I have time and i'll post with comments
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  3. #3
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Awesome. Loved it.

    I can't wait to see what happens when he returns to the room after his night at the tavern! But I'm impatient that way....lol.

    It reads like a short story. You could make it longer by fleshing it out and making it all more detailed, with more character development along the way. The framework is awesome either way.


    And nice outfit. Perfect.
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  4. #4
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    Awesome. Loved it.

    I can't wait to see what happens when he returns to the room after his night at the tavern! But I'm impatient that way....lol.
    Thanks a bunch!

    And yeah, I was afraid that the interactions between the two was far more dominant than the interactions with the world, leading to people wanting to skip ahead of parts so to say. I am already afraid to leave her out of parts of the story as Kaynin goes out on his own.
    I suppose once I add some suspense into the story and thicken the plot that will be fine though.

    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    It reads like a short story. You could make it longer by fleshing it out and making it all more detailed, with more character development along the way. The framework is awesome either way.


    And nice outfit. Perfect.
    Yeah, it's written pretty much from the perspective of Kaynin, I had this idea to switch chapters between Kaynin and Yelena's perspective, but due to the infancy of Yelena's character I had not been able to start with that yet. But I was thinking of making Yelena's perspective much thicker in information about the world and her surroundings, whilst Kaynin focuses more on his internal thoughts, and only notes facts of his surroundings when he finds it notable or relevant to his situation. The size of the inn, the falling of the leaves, the size of the towns.

    But trying to find a good balance is pretty hard, without damaging the flow of the story too much. If it becomes too descriptive and focusing on the thoughts of Kaynin, the pace mght be too slow. But since I wanted to stay as true to MBTI as possible for him, trying to seep Kaynin's sensotardness through into the narrative is the intention though. I want the reader to really feel like he is in his shoes, but ofcourse, it still has to be descriptive enough for it to work.


    And the outfit, glad you liked it.
    Wondered if I might have went a bit overboard. But considering that this fantasy world has found itself in much the same state and relative peace for a long time. I figured fashion should be a large factor in the world to those with coin to spare.

    Anyway, glad you enjoyed it.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  5. #5
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Thanks a bunch!

    And yeah, I was afraid that the interactions between the two was far more dominant than the interactions with the world, leading to people wanting to skip ahead of parts so to say. I am already afraid to leave her out of parts of the story as Kaynin goes out on his own.
    I suppose once I add some suspense into the story and thicken the plot that will be fine though.



    Yeah, it's written pretty much from the perspective of Kaynin, I had this idea to switch chapters between Kaynin and Yelena's perspective, but due to the infancy of Yelena's character I had not been able to start with that yet. But I was thinking of making Yelena's perspective much thicker in information about the world and her surroundings, whilst Kaynin focuses more on his internal thoughts, and only notes facts of his surroundings when he finds it notable or relevant to his situation. The size of the inn, the falling of the leaves, the size of the towns.

    But trying to find a good balance is pretty hard, without damaging the flow of the story too much. If it becomes too descriptive and focusing on the thoughts of Kaynin, the pace mght be too slow. But since I wanted to stay as true to MBTI as possible for him, trying to seep Kaynin's sensotardness through into the narrative is the intention though. I want the reader to really feel like he is in his shoes, but ofcourse, it still has to be descriptive enough for it to work.


    And the outfit, glad you liked it.
    Wondered if I might have went a bit overboard. But considering that this fantasy world has found itself in much the same state and relative peace for a long time. I figured fashion should be a large factor in the world to those with coin to spare.

    Anyway, glad you enjoyed it.

    Ooh, yeah, you could do some sort of plot with her like the now-alpha male is obsessed with her and wants her at all costs--is hunting her down, etc. Put kaynin in some sticky spots he wasn't wanting/can't really handle without some other factor entering in, etc., sorry, can't help myself.

    Peaceout!
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    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  6. #6
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    Ooh, yeah, you could do some sort of plot with her like the now-alpha male is obsessed with her and wants her at all costs--is hunting her down, etc. Put kaynin in some sticky spots he wasn't wanting/can't really handle without some other factor entering in, etc., sorry, can't help myself.

    Peaceout!
    I'm not going to touch her origins too early on, but that will eventually happen for sure. I'm already writing a part where Kaynin is getting into a sticky spot though.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  7. #7
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    After adding a few more pages, I proofread the current draft myself as best I could too. Still quite some small mistakes I had left in.

    And there are probably more present. I know I often have trouble using present and past tense properly, so I've been epsecially focusing to avoid that. But I tend to read over such mistakes easily without noticing them.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  8. #8
    Senior Member acronach's Avatar
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    it's great, loved it so far! Eager to read more.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    I'm not going to touch her origins too early on, but that will eventually happen for sure. I'm already writing a part where Kaynin is getting into a sticky spot though.
    I feel like Kaynin would be really curious about it though, but you could have her just not want to talk about it. And ya, random dude walks up to a traveling trader at a bar and tries to sell him a cartload of weapons, nothing wrong with this scenario :3

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    After adding a few more pages, I proofread the current draft myself as best I could too. Still quite some small mistakes I had left in.
    ya, i did notice a minor spelling mistake on the top of page 5 "Kaynin’s words wouldn’t scare of a mouse"
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  9. #9
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Suweet. Made me laugh in a couple places. You are really, really good at Yelena's innocence bouncing off Kaynin's exasperation! You haven't left anything out.

    And I love how you address peeing and pooping. That was ALWAYS something that bothered me about stories....no one ever seemed to need to go to the bathroom! lol
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  10. #10
    Senior Member acronach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    Suweet. Made me laugh in a couple places. You are really, really good at Yelena's innocence bouncing off Kaynin's exasperation! You haven't left anything out.

    And I love how you address peeing and pooping. That was ALWAYS something that bothered me about stories....no one ever seemed to need to go to the bathroom! lol
    agreement
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