User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 38

  1. #21
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,422

    Default

    Well, gotta leave in an hour, but made a small addition.

    Tension is rising!
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  2. #22
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,422

    Cool

    Teehee, internet at the hotel.

    New addition made.

    Tears might flow.

    Would love to hear peoples thoughts on how I've written page 40 to 43.

    My personal concern is that it might be too much, too dramatic compared to the rest of the story.


    I've rewritten those pages and feel much better about them now.


    Voted my own thread to be excellent as well.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  3. #23
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,422

    Default

    Important note for those that have read it past page 9, and are willing to keep reading:

    Removed mention of Yelena's father dying and brother 'taking over'. Since I'm not approaching that subject for a while, I feel the early mention of those details in her background are out of place.

    This may or may not mean that those details of her background are subject to change. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

    For now, forget it was written down.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  4. #24
    WALMART
    Guest

    Default

    It's very hard for me to get involved with books and things of the like, but I am very interested in reading this. Maybe I'm waiting for it to become more developed


    You seem like you would be very efficient in your writing style, something I enjoy greatly. Keep up the work!

  5. #25
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,422

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jontherobot View Post
    It's very hard for me to get involved with books and things of the like, but I am very interested in reading this. Maybe I'm waiting for it to become more developed


    You seem like you would be very efficient in your writing style, something I enjoy greatly. Keep up the work!
    I won't force you or anything.

    Seems like it will be a bundle of chronological short stories though. At the very least the first in the sequence seems to be nearing completion, the following stories might not be short at all. Once Im done with that Ill polish the story up, making sure the flow's alright.
    This first part is mainly an introduction of the world and main characters with small events. I will start focusing on a bigger plot soon.

    Im pretty full with ideas, just need the time to put it on paper.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  6. #26
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    3,532

    Default

    I only read the first few pages so far, but I think it's really good. The one thing I would say is that present tense narrative is really hard to pull off, especially from the third person perspective. I would recommend telling the story in the past tense.
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
    TypeC: Adventures of an Introvert
    Wordpress: http://introvertadventures.wordpress.com/

  7. #27
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,422

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle View Post
    I only read the first few pages so far, but I think it's really good. The one thing I would say is that present tense narrative is really hard to pull off, especially from the third person perspective. I would recommend telling the story in the past tense.
    I don't disagree there. I think present tense can work well towards putting the reader right into the thick of it. But present tense is a bit unpolished in a sense.
    Past tense seems to flow better for reading. Not to mention not everything can be put in present tense (unless you 'go around the bush' which will annoy the reader), but everything can be put in past tense.

    Either way, I wanted to finish the first story before I repolish the document, for the sake of current readers, I'll keep using present tense to the best of my ability for now since most of the story is written like that.

    I'm also thinking of more clearly making a distinction between narrative and thoughts by using cursive text, without having to add Kaynin thinks, ponders, wonders, assumes or whatever with every single thought. And polishing the sentence structures of the sentences that are kind of inbetween narrative and thought at the moment. Right now there are parts that explain too much.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  8. #28
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    3,532

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Either way, I wanted to finish the first story before I repolish the document, for the sake of current readers, I'll keep using present tense to the best of my ability for now since most of the story is written like that.

    I'm also thinking of more clearly making a distinction between narrative and thoughts by using cursive text, without having to add Kaynin thinks, ponders, wonders, assumes or whatever with every single thought. And polishing the sentence structures of the sentences that are kind of inbetween narrative and thought at the moment.
    Totally. The hardest part is just getting SOMETHING on paper, I think-- you're smart to focus on that first and editing later. I have the problem whenever I try to write that I try to edit as I go along, and then I don't get very far. :P
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
    TypeC: Adventures of an Introvert
    Wordpress: http://introvertadventures.wordpress.com/

  9. #29
    morose bourgeoisie
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,859

    Default

    I don't have time to read it through, but it seems strong to me.
    'Err' is a verb. The nominative form in English of 'error'.
    Well done!

  10. #30
    Senior Member Pinker85's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Posts
    731

    Default

    Have read half way through. Really impressed. Keep up the awesome work. Looking forward to seeing the finished product.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] ENFJs in fictional works
    By MacGuffin in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 268
    Last Post: 09-25-2015, 04:41 PM
  2. ENTJ-INFP pairs in fiction or real life celebrity
    By heart in forum Popular Culture and Type
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-16-2014, 03:06 AM
  3. Deliberate use of type theory in fiction
    By Quinlan in forum Popular Culture and Type
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12-13-2008, 09:35 AM
  4. NJ order and NP chaos in fiction and reality
    By nightwatcher in forum Popular Culture and Type
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 06-04-2008, 06:08 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO