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Kat needs a pompous pseudonym

Queen Kat

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As some of you might now, I'm trying to write a book and get it published one day. But there is one problem: my name. I have a unpronounceable and unspellable hookername and I don't think many people would like to read a book from an Eastern European hooker, now would they? Anyways, I have already chosen a last name to use when I want to publish my stuff, and now all I want is a first name for my pseudonym. The things I demand for my pseudonym's first name:
  • It should be masculine. Men sell more books than women and win more prizes, because people think they have a penis. So it would be a good thing if my pseudonym can make people think I have a penis.
  • It should be pompous. Why? Because pompous names are funny enough to remember. Plus it makes the pseudonym more obviously an pseudonym.
  • It should not be too American. I'm from the Netherlands and having a pompous American name is too pompous. I also don't want a too Dutch name, because I'd like to go global. So no Ephraim Horatio or IJsbrand Gijsbrecht (too bad I like IJsbrand).
  • Evil sounding is a pro. And no, I'm not talking about Adolf, Castro or Lucifer, because that's too much evilness at the same time. It's okay if it's the name of a cartoon villain's pet. After all, I was named after my mother who was named after a cartoon, so I was named after a cartoon as well.
  • It shouldn't start with a K.
 

Shimmy

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I would pick an international sounding name. It sounds a bit ambitious, but if your book ever get's translated it may be an advantage if people can pronounce your name.

The most masculine international name I can think of: Dick.
 

Jaguar

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I don't know how "pompous" they are, but I thought of these:

Maximilian
Maxwell
Zachary
Kristoff
Alexander
Carson
Gabriel
Winston
Bennett
Harrison
Nathaniel
Grant
Victor
Vincent
Graham
Griffin
Zaine
 

Queen Kat

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I would pick an international sounding name. It sounds a bit ambitious, but if your book ever get's translated it may be an advantage if people can pronounce your name.

The most masculine international name I can think of: Dick.

Dick's a good one! :biggrin: Anyways, that's exactly what I meant with not-American and not-Dutch: INTERNATIONAL. Most names here are sooooo American. I'm Dutch and names that end with -ton and -son and -ney are too American. The names I had in mind at the moment were Dionysus (because it means "drunk"), Attila (because it's funny) and Azrael (after Gargamel's cat in the Smurfs).

I know I'm way too ambitious... but that doesn't mean I shouldn't give it a try? After all, I'm so bad I'm good. :biggrin:
 

mmhmm

meinmeinmein!
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Stirling Converse
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Ezekiel "Zeke' Ward Gerrit Graham
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Baxter Hiram Bingham
Edgar Phillip Rice Chafee
Otis William Sloane
 

mmhmm

meinmeinmein!
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Alonzo Evans
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chachamaru

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Katherine. Katrina. Katrine. Karina.

Katherine is best... like Katherine the great.
 

mmhmm

meinmeinmein!
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Barowe Rotherham
Frith Fox
Sanders Tusser
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it's just more fun with last names katkins
 

Queen Kat

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Karthage. Kzar. Kaiser. Kintaro. Kaleb. Karlo.

Did you read that I didn't want names that start with a K? My pseudonym's last name starts with a K too and I don't want my "new" initials to be KK (that's slang for cancer where I live).

I don't know how "pompous" they are, but I thought of these:

Maximilian
Maxwell
Zachary
Kristoff
Alexander
Carson
Gabriel
Winston
Bennett
Harrison
Nathaniel
Grant
Victor
Vincent
Graham
Griffin
Zaine
Most names are too normal (Victor, Vincent) or too American (Zachary, Winston). Kristoff would be cool, because it sounds a bit like a vidka brand, but it starts with a K. I don't want KK.

Stirling Converse
Gavin Jethroe
Roman Sturgis Brooks
William Caldicott
Endicott Crowninshield
Ezekiel "Zeke' Ward Gerrit Graham
Kermit Quentin Burroughs
James Phinney Whitlock
Baxter Hiram Bingham
Edgar Phillip Rice Chafee
Otis William Sloane
None.

Alonzo Evans
Charles Walker Fince
Hollis Franchot
Bartlett Theodore Gunn
Clay Robert Wendell
Gregory Ayres Lish
Vance Mendenhall Mesereau
The Dutch version of Charles (Karel) was one of the first names that popped into my head when I searched for a pseudonym, but exactly, it's KK again. Gregory would be good if I changed it to Gregorius, but there's already an infamous Dutchie whose pseudonym is Gregorius Nekschot. I don't feel like ripping him off.
 

chachamaru

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Sorry. Using a mobile device to read. . I thought you asked for names that begin with K.
 

mmhmm

meinmeinmein!
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Fulke Cavendish
Gronow Jones
Lloyd Overstone
Denman Stanley
Lefevre Pusey Pakington
Winthrop Gladston
Kingway Selwyn
Kinglake Mackworth
Lubbon Praes Selwyn
Kean Borton Kinnaird
Grimthorpe Coleridge
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Fitzjames Labouche
Clement Fiennes
Sleigh Burnanh-Bueller
Tankerville Strutt
Chamberlain Bridges
Quentin Neville Petty
Fitzmaurice Phipps
Pollock Knox

hahahahahhahahahahhaha
 

mmhmm

meinmeinmein!
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Neiman Marcus
Henri Bendel
 

Red Herring

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The most obvious villain name in literature I can think of is: Malvolio (or Malvolo), meaning malevolent. Shakespeare used it. J.K.Rawling used it. It's a classic.
 
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