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The I hate f*cking football thread

Jaguar

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U Jelly?

steelers-hines-ward.jpg
 

JocktheMotie

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If only my quarterback were a fat asshole rapist, and not some meek tool who talks like his brother's nuts are in his mouth. I'd be swimming in championships and trashy drunk slizz.
 

Oaky

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here's a thread for those of us who have no interest in football and find the fans fucking annoying. lets go torch them!
Yea, down with the fans of American Football. :solidarity:
 

Jaguar

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If only my quarterback were a fat asshole rapist, and not some meek tool who talks like his brother's nuts are in his mouth. I'd be swimming in championships and trashy drunk slizz.

Does your QB give golden showers to women?
 

rhinosaur

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I've never been able to follow sports. I don't see how people can care so much about a particular team or set of players. However, I admire the athleticism of football players and what they are capable of. Watch any (American) professional football game and really pay attention to what they're doing, the energy they're exerting, and act like you're not impressed.
 

swordpath

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I've never been able to follow sports. I don't see how people can care so much about a particular team or set of players. However, I admire the athleticism of football players and what they are capable of. Watch any (American) professional football game and really pay attention to what they're doing, the energy they're exerting, and act like you're not impressed.

You can't not appreciate the game if you pay an inkling of attention to what's going. The haters usually won't even take the time, they just scrape the game up to a bunch of drunk frat boys babbling about their fantasy leagues and packing out the bars on the weekends. Football is an amazing sport filled with athleticism, strength and strategic mental challenges.
 

Sparrow

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Fan screaming and clapping all freakin loud for long periods of time! ughhh....

Maybe I hate it because my dad would always have the TV turned up full blast, and would never let me change the channel ;). I remember him screaming at home too...TOUCH DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha ;)
 

Haven

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If people had an ounce of interest in politics for every pound they have in football, all of our political problems would be solved.
 

KDude

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Screw politics and football both.

Actually, football isn't so bad.. to play at least.

I think people talk about politics too much actually. Or should I say they whine about politics. It seems to be a passtime for whiny people, be it liberal or conservative.

But I digress.
 
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If people had an ounce of interest in politics for every pound they have in football, all of our political problems would be solved.

As a keen observer of both, I find that football and politics have demonstrated equal success in solving society's problems. But only football produces a winner.
 

Not_Me

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After a careful review of Grey Cup stats, I've come to the conclusion that the game is mostly played by losers
 

uncommonentity

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I have no interest in watching men or watching men with men who like to watch men man.
Football has a severe lack of boobs.
 

goats

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So football... like soccer?

American football is really lame in my opinion. Dudes in tight pants throwing some eye-shaped object around. I don't understand the whole interest in the Superbowl and such.

I can watch soccer though.
I tune into men's FIFA because there are quite a bit of... ahem... attractive men.

I mean the sport is interesting... yes.
 

Adasta

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What about women's FIFA?

Women's football is so bad that its desecration of beauty extends to the obliteration of the players' own attractiveness.

There are a few good players, though. For some reason, the goalkeeping is atrocious.
 

Mole

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Boofheads

I discovered the other day that the Taliban banned music and football.

And although I read the newspaper every day, I read every part except the sports' pages. So it would appear I am uncomfortably close to the Taliban.

So naturally I try to rationalise and defend my aversion to football.

So I played amateur football as school but when I left, I discovered other things.

And today I recognise footballers are professional athletes in a lucrative business.

So why do I dislike football today?

It is obvious to me that football is repetitive, one game after another after another. And as any repetition will induce a trance, football induces the football trance.

And it is a powerful trance shared by millions across the globe.

The Taliban don't like football because they want to induce the trance of Islam and the trance of football is a competitor to be ruthlessly removed. Yes, the Taliban are simply jealous of football. My God, say the Taliban, is a jealous God.

So am I, like the Taliban, jealous of football? And I think the answer is yes. I am jealous of the enormous resources devoted to the business of football. I feel sanguine about amateur football, but professional football takes up too much space and too many resources.

I confess I am a member of my local football club, the Eastlakes Football Club, but whenever I enter their premises, devoted to drinking, gambling with huge TV screens on the walls, I mutter to myself that it is a club for boofheads.
 

DiscoBiscuit

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[YOUTUBE="de1aMu2pDOg"]Stanford Samuels Destroys Roscoe Parrish[/YOUTUBE]

[YOUTUBE="DlAvYjHVfSg"]Reggie Brown Knockout[/YOUTUBE]

And just for good measure:
[YOUTUBE="UHHX0YboWTM"]Dan Henderson destroys Michael Bisping[/YOUTUBE]
 
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