I discovered the other day that the Taliban banned music and football.
And although I read the newspaper every day, I read every part except the sports' pages. So it would appear I am uncomfortably close to the Taliban.
So naturally I try to rationalise and defend my aversion to football.
So I played amateur football as school but when I left, I discovered other things.
And today I recognise footballers are professional athletes in a lucrative business.
So why do I dislike football today?
It is obvious to me that football is repetitive, one game after another after another. And as any repetition will induce a trance, football induces the football trance.
And it is a powerful trance shared by millions across the globe.
The Taliban don't like football because they want to induce the trance of Islam and the trance of football is a competitor to be ruthlessly removed. Yes, the Taliban are simply jealous of football. My God, say the Taliban, is a jealous God.
So am I, like the Taliban, jealous of football? And I think the answer is yes. I am jealous of the enormous resources devoted to the business of football. I feel sanguine about amateur football, but professional football takes up too much space and too many resources.
I confess I am a member of my local football club, the Eastlakes Football Club, but whenever I enter their premises, devoted to drinking, gambling with huge TV screens on the walls, I mutter to myself that it is a club for boofheads.