Poem Thread

[wolfmaiden14]

Hello hello everyone. It just occurred to me today that most forums I'm a member of usually have a poetry forum and an art forum, but this is the closest I've found to somewhere to share our own works of art. (Feel free to move it if there's a more appropriate one) So.. this is a poem thread! Feel free to share anything you've written for feedback or works in progress for criticism. I also thought it would be neat to see if/how type influences subject matter and/or style.

The only thing I'll ask is that you only post one poem of yours at a time(meaning.. at least one or two poems from someone else before you post another of yours), so people don't get too bogged down, and can give each one a fair amount of attention.


I'll kick things off with one of my simpler poems about my kitty.

My Little Buddy

My little buddy,
my baby boy,
you cuddle me at night,
with your silver-black tabby blanket
draped over my forehead
In fact, anytime I lay my head near you,
your furry white paw lifts to rest on it,
guarding me with the regal, content look of a lion
You rub my leg encouragingly when I cry
a gentle reminder
you always make me happy, Mommy
You keep me company, my little roommate
I'm never alone

Your curious golden eyes
patiently stare while I eat anything
Sitting nice,
until I finally share a tiny tid-bit,
but you never try it anyway
unless it's to steal a lick off the plate when I'm not looking
You curl up on top of my books and papers
Every. Damn. Time. I try to get work done
You non-chalantly doze as if you aren't really jealous,
or demanding my attention with your puffy chipmunk cheeks
and I stop and pet you and smile
no matter what I was doing or thinking about
The best times were when we'd both fall asleep
on top of my algebra homework

You make me laugh
As you chitter "mau-mrow-ma-mraou!"
to the gnats swarming outside the window,
and when you flop your roly-poly body over
and mew at me to rub your belly with my foot,
only to snap-dragon shut and attack my sock,
and when I hear your imploring death cries,
but really you just left the room and don't know where I am,
so I flick my tongue against my palette
forming locust-like clicks my father taught me for squirrels
and a brush of foot pads against carpet tells me
you've heard your mama's call

I kiss your wet pink nose
and rub your face, tracing the black stripes extending from your eyes
Then I pick you up and hold you close
and scritch between your ears
As you rest your arms around my neck
and purr against my touch
I wonder,
my little Whisper,
who's really taking care of who

 

[Oberon]

Little Buddy's Response

You are warm
You feed me
You amuse me
Life is good

still

Things would be
different around here
if I had
opposable thumbs

 

[wolfmaiden14]

Response to Little Buddy's Response

You're so silly
You want opposable thumbs
but I'm sure you would only use them
to turn on the shower for water
and end up drenching yourself

There is a reason you have not
climbed the evolutionary tree

Be careful what you wish for.

 

[Oberon]

Little Buddy's Response #2

I would so
turn on the shower for
water and drench
myself

that's what you do

 

[whatnot]

Ooo! A poetry thread!


The City

in a squint, it all looked like the
45 minute drive into the city
through a yellow night,
where the traffic and the attitudes and
the push and pull
of parallel parking and walking
at least 6 blocks to anywhere
were always so good.

the city was tall and everything lived
either overhead or underground, but
i walked somewhere in between
because my hands were too clean
to stay. i miss the dirty hands
and hunched step and grit
and teeth and city bite. now there
is no one there anymore but people:
great rushing crowds of them, and
they were beautiful in a lonely way.
it was a comfortable pressure,
like a warm, screaming womb,
and the smoke always sang me to sleep.

tonight, i will listen
to country clouds in a house
with a yard and a porch and
no strangers anymore. it is
a sweet and easy place, but
the quiet plays too brightly for me.
i will squint again and hope for dreams
of the dark, where everything is
taller and louder and so much
less than any of this.

 

[wolfmaiden14]

Response to Little Buddy #2

But I thought you didn't like
getting wet.
Maybe I'll just have
to splash you next time.

HaHaHa..
I can just see your fuzzy fur
after getting all static-y

You should make yourself useful
and go chase that mouse.

~~~

Whatnot, I really like the comparison in the poem! The imagery really fits the scenes. I also love the auditory characteristics you gave the smoke and the clouds. Both wispy things, which were personified, and also contrast the white purity and the Grey grungyness of the two places. I really get a sense of "lostness" because the narrator's hands are "too clean" for the city, but needs more than the country.

 

[whatnot]

Thanks! I wrote that after I moved from a large city, which I absolutely adored, back to my hometown, which is much smaller.

 

[htb]

A little wren flew round and round
Milky vanes, lutescent down
It settled on my windowsill
So I bashed its goddamned head in.

 

[Domino]

Response to Little Buddy's Response

You're so silly
You want opposable thumbs
but I'm sure you would only use them
to turn on the shower for water
and end up drenching yourself

There is a reason you have not
climbed the evolutionary tree

Be careful what you wish for.

Little Buddy's Response #2

I would so
turn on the shower for
water and drench
myself

that's what you do

LOL!! You two.

 

[wolfmaiden14]

A little wren flew round and round
Milky vanes, lutescent down
It settled on my windowsill
So I bashed its goddamned head in.

I want another stanza about the gore.

It reminds me somewhat of a message my friend left me one time

Rachel, Rachel, wherefor art thou, Rachel?
You are as the stars
And I am as the moon
They are so distanced.

Though it is rare that they speak
Though it is rare that they feel
one another's warm embrace,

At least the stars pick up their god-damned phone!

I was listening to this at 7am driving to work and almost crashed the car from laughing.

 

[Domino]

I want another stanza about the gore.

It reminds me somewhat of a message my friend left me one time

Rachel, Rachel, wherefor art thou, Rachel?
You are as the stars
And I am as the moon
They are so distanced.

Though it is rare that they speak
Though it is rare that they feel
one another's warm embrace,

At least the stars pick up their god-damned phone!

I was listening to this at 7am driving to work and almost crashed the car from laughing.

Hilarious! That's along the same lines as something I wrote for my friend Athena -- Roses are red, Violets are purple, I love you, Nothing rhymes with purple.

The only funny poem I can think of that I've written is about a transmission that took a puke on me.

 

[Domino]

Pirahna's Lame Cat Poem

I wrote this to entertain my mother. It's about her four kittens:



What, if you please,
do you make of these --
small fuzzy bandits
who brave the breeze
brought on by storms
now passing by
with a peevish sigh? --
Curdled fur in halos make
not one angel
amongst those waking
murderous orcas!
They halt their play
by the back door;
Marauders four,
they commence to shake
and rattle the pane
in vain
attempt to assassinate
a single gypsy
who's landed high
above their leap,
their dash of paws
and brandished claws;
Ah, those tempting tasty moths...!

 

[wolfmaiden14]

Ohhh.. outside of a few lines towards the beginning, I really like the rhyme flow of that! "mauraders four" gives me the best image of the kitties ever. XD Very cute.

 

[Varelse]

I posted an earlier draft of this in my blag-creative writing exercise.



Drawings

When the apples burn from green to gold.
When the crisp leaves melt away.

When the sun brushes the ice-cased plants.
When pheasants flee through the gnarled wood.

When the ditch has dried to a sucking mud.
When the hawk stands stark against a gray tree.

Then I watch beneath the leaves,
As my drawings shiver in the wind.

And the crisp white flesh of my apple,
Turns to brown in my hand.

 

[nightning]

Response to "Drawings"

Lemon! Lemon juice!

Toss the apple into such,
Secrets for defying aging...
Knowledge have use in much.

Though lemon is useless for drawings,
Since paper turns yellow in acid...
The best kept image is by remembering.

 

[wolfmaiden14]

I like the imagery in Drawings, but I'm not quite sure what it's going for. The response is just thoughtful and cute.

 

[htb]

Careful, boys -- don't make a Mrs.
Out of the girl who gives you krs.
First ring, and then hitch;
Consummation of which
Cries, babbles, waddles and prs.

 

[white]

bwahahaha. htb's poetry nearly made me spill my drink.

Varelse, yours are images of loss. "Sea urchin" too. ? And nightning's response is lol *runs to squishy hug the mousie*

And I like the poem repartee loads.


This was a song I wrote in return for a boy, who wrote and sang me his song. He has his own band. We never got together, but still. Some connections are once in a lifetime, mayhaps.

-----------
Almost love

hey, stranger,
your voice dissolves the years.
I remember
the clean smell of you and
the whiteness of your soul.
you were sunshine
and the taste of rain.

And I know, you know
for a lifetime and maybe,
a day,
you'll seek me in your memories
i'll carry you in my bones.
we were, this was
almost,
almost love.

we paid the bloodprice for honesty
flew on a fairytale built on pain.
but not all endings
were birthed in beginnings,
and we have moved on,
just the same.
not the same.

but comes some nights like these,
when the memory of sunshine
is all that keeps me together.
then
hey, stranger,
seek me in your memories,
carry me in your bones.
we were, this was,
almost,
almost love,
love.

 

[Varelse]

Varelse, yours are images of loss. "Sea urchin" too. ? And nightning's response is lol *runs to squishy hug the mousie*

Loss? Perhaps. I don't know. I just write what the voices tell me.

That was funny, mousie.

And I like the song, aelan.

 

[whatnot]

-----------
Almost love

hey, stranger,
your voice dissolves the years.
I remember
the clean smell of you and
the whiteness of your soul.
you were sunshine
and the taste of rain.

And I know, you know
for a lifetime and maybe,
a day,
you'll seek me in your memories
i'll carry you in my bones.
we were, this was
almost,
almost love.

we paid the bloodprice for honesty
flew on a fairytale built on pain.
but not all endings
were birthed in beginnings,
and we have moved on,
just the same.
not the same.

but comes some nights like these,
when the memory of sunshine
is all that keeps me together.
then
hey, stranger,
seek me in your memories,
carry me in your bones.
we were, this was,
almost,
almost love,
love.

*sighs* This made me cry. So beautiful. It's very easy to relate to.