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Your favourite dialogue, and one-liners!

Alpha Prime

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One thing I find the general entertainment industry of today to be lacking is interesting and witty dialogue. So, this thread is for us who appreciate rapid fire verbal sparring or just profound/interesting dialogue!

Load your most memorable shizzle and fire away!


I'll go first:

From Commando: Arnold Schwarzenegger is holding the bad guy, and has him hanging over a cliff.
Arnold: You know when I told you I'd kill you last?
Bad Guy: Yeah?!
Arnold: ... I lied!
Bad Guy: *Drops dead*.


Evil Dead 3, Army of Darkness has tons!

Ash: What are you? Are you me?
Evil Ash: Whad are do? Are do be? HAHAHAHAHAH! You sound like a jerk!
Ash: Why ya doin' this, huh?
Evil Ash: Oh, you wanna know? 'Cause the answer's easy! I'm BAD Ash... and you're GOOD Ash! You're a goody little two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes!
[begins to sucker-punch Ash]
Evil Ash: Goody little TWO-SHOES! Goody little TWO-SHOES! HEHEHEHEHE!
[honk honk honk]
Evil Ash: GOODY LITTLE TWO-SHOES! GOODY LITTLE...
Ash: [cocks shotgun and points it under Evil Ash's nose]
[nods head and shoots him]
Ash: I ain't that good / Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.

---

Old Woman: I'll swallow your soul!
Ash: Come get some.

---

Sheila [has become a witch]: You found me beautiful once...
Ash: Honey, you got reeeal ugly!

---

Sheila: But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?
Ash: Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby, that's all.



Your turn!
 
P

Phantonym

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Great idea :)

Scoop

Sid Waterman: I was born into the Hebrew persuasion, but when I got older I converted to narcissism.

Sondra Pransky: You are a cynical crapehanger who always sees the glass half-empty!
Sid Waterman: No, you're wrong. I see the glass half full, but of poison.

Sondra Pransky: How can we meet him?
Sid Waterman: You know, I don't know... They have a class system. He's an aristocrat and, you know, we're... we're commoners. In fact according to his system, we're... I think we're probably classified as scum.

Sondra Pransky: Why don't you think about this as adding some excitement to your life?
Sid Waterman: Sweetheart, excitement in my life is dinner without heartburn after it.

Sid Waterman: You're the daughter I never had.
Sondra Pransky: [touched] Oh, Sidney...
Sid Waterman: No, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Cause I never wanted to have kids. I didn't because you have kids... what is it? You know you're nice to them... you bring them up... you suffer... y-you take care of them... and then they grow up and... and... and they accuse... uh... you of having Alzheimer's.


I'll be back, with more :D
 
Last edited:

Willfrey

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Rodney Dangerfield : My wife asked me "Come on home baby, nobody is here." I came home. Nobody was there.
 

EJCC

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Pretentious? Moi?
- Fawlty Towers (I think)
 

attetude

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Jermaine: I'm usually more charismatic than this.

I use that all the time.
 

metaphours

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From The Big Lebowski:

Robber: *picks up bowling ball*
Robber: What the fuck is this?
The Dude: Obviously, you're not a golfer.

The Dude: It's like that guy - Lenin - said, "You look for the guy who will benefit, and, uh..."
Donny: I Am the Walrus?
Walter: SHUT THE FUCK UP DONNY.
 

poppy

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Hans Gruber: "I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four."
 

Misty_Mountain_Rose

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"I'm getting better!"

Edit - Sorry, Poppy's post reminded me of the Holy Hand Grenade. I'll refrain from posting all the zillion quotes from the movie that I love.
 

kyuuei

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I LOVE movie quotes, so I'll just post things I actually use in conversation.

"Hey. Take it easy." - Not a day goes by where me or my friend do not use that on each other, whether via text, phone, or in person. (From Nacho Libre, if you didn't know. :) )
 

Tallulah

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Margo Channing: "I admit I may have seen better days, but I am still not to be had for the price of a cocktail, like a salted peanut."

(All About Eve)
 

The Outsider

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Anything by Arnold obviously.

I really loved this dialogue in Double Indemnity, it's so silly it's cute.

Phyllis: Mr. Neff, why don't you drop by tomorrow evening about eight-thirty. He'll be in then.
Walter Neff: Who?
Phyllis: My husband. You were anxious to talk to him weren't you?
Walter Neff: Yeah, I was, but I'm sort of getting over the idea, if you know what I mean.
Phyllis: There's a speed limit in this state, Mr. Neff. Forty-five miles an hour.
Walter Neff: How fast was I going, officer?
Phyllis: I'd say around ninety.
Walter Neff: Suppose you get down off your motorcycle and give me a ticket.
Phyllis: Suppose I let you off with a warning this time.
Walter Neff: Suppose it doesn't take.
Phyllis: Suppose I have to whack you over the knuckles.
Walter Neff: Suppose I bust out crying and put my head on your shoulder.
Phyllis: Suppose you try putting it on my husband's shoulder.
Walter Neff: That tears it.


And of course one of the most beautiful scenes from Blade Runner.

Batty: I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.
 

Cimarron

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Futurama's got good ones:

"There's nothing wrong with anything."


"Now you are officially my woman. Kudos; I can't say I don't envy you."


"...However, I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt since first he looked up at the stars?"
 

Saslou

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Pride and Prejudice -

Good opinion once lost, is lost forever.

Malcolm in the middle -

Lois: Fate is what you call it when you don't know the name of the person screwing you over.

Lois: [on phone] Hey, Francis. How's school?
Francis: Oh, couldn't be better, Mom. My new roommate showed me how to kill mice with a hammer yesterday, so between that and the general atmosphere of simmering homoeroticism, I think I'm really starting to turn around.

Lol.
 

Willfrey

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Futurama's got good ones:

Zap Brannigan (sp?) has some of the best quotes hands down. Him and Zoidberg.

"It's built like a steakhouse, but handles like a bistro!"

And who can forget:

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I am hard, but I am fair! There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops, or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless!
 
S

Sniffles

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I am hard, but I am fair! There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops, or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless!

Yes this is one of the best!
 

Cimarron

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Zap Brannigan (sp?) has some of the best quotes hands down. Him and Zoidberg.

"It's built like a steakhouse, but handles like a bistro!"
It's true, that list could go on forever!
 

Valiant

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This is so much me that I don't know if I should laugh or cry :D
Don't mean that I look like the guy, but I do stupid stuff all the time, and I get caught doing them. Sometimes deliberately. :cry:/:D

[YOUTUBE="BKUcichpNO8"]Yet, mah rolex is keeping perfect time...[/YOUTUBE]
 
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Duckman: Did I ever tell you my father's last words to me?
Cornfed: Um-hm. "Careful, son, I don't think the safety's on."
Duckman: Before that!
 
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