Joker: You see, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve.
Tali'Zorah nar Rayya: I'm pleased that the imminent destruction of all organic life has improved you career opportunities.
Joker: Boy am I glad to be off Noveria. I don't know which is worse; the cold or the corporations. One will freeze your balls off, the other will sell em' out from under you. With all due respect, Commander.
Scientist A: Okay okay, this one will get you. Scientist B: Ugh... not again. How can you joke at a time like this? Scientist A: Just listen. So, there are these two hydrogen atoms and they're talking. One says to the other, 'Hey, I lost my electron!' And then the other one says, 'Really? Are you sure about that?' And then the first hydrogen atom says, 'Yeah...I'm positive!' Hahaha! Scientist B: God. Just, stop.
Lorik Qui'in: Lady Benezia was also dressed for her role. An Asari in a pinstripe suit set tongues wagging among the younger male employees, so to speak. Urdnot Wrex: I don't get how a clothed female can be more attractive than a naked one.
Team Fortress 2
"Hey, look buddy. I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems. Not problems like, "What is beauty?," because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of 'philosophy'. I solve practical problems.
For instance, how am I gonna stop some big, mean Mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind? The answer: Use a gun. And if that don't work? Use more gun." - Engineer
"I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan
Shoulda known people would quote The Big Lebowski!
But you need even better dialogue:
This was a valued rug. This was, uh--
Yeah man, it really tied the room together--
This was a valued, uh.
What tied the room together, Dude?
Were you listening to the story, Donny?
Were you listening to the Dude's story?
I was bowling--
So you have no frame of reference, Donny. You're like a child who wanders in in the middle of a movie and wants to know--
What's your point, Walter?
There's no fucking reason--here's my point, Dude--there's no fucking reason--
Yeah Walter, what's your point?
What's the point of--we all know who was at fault, so what the fuck are you talking about?
Huh? No! What the fuck are you talking--I'm not--we're talking about unchecked aggression here--
What the fuck is he talking about?
Forget it, Donny. You're out of your element.
This Chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill so what the fuck are you talking about?
What the fuck are you talking about?! This Chinaman is not the issue! I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line you do not, uh--and also, Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American. Please.
Walter, this is not a guy who built the rail-roads, here, this is a guy who peed on my--
What the fuck are you--
Walter, he peed on my rug--
He peed on the Dude's rug--
YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT! This Chinaman is not the issue, Dude.
-stellar renegade coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
stop it right on tiiiiime!
[Fry is in a Captain Pike-style life-support machine] Captain Zapp Brannigan: Do you understand the charges? Kif Kroker: One beep for yes, two beeps for no.
[Fry beeps once] Captain Zapp Brannigan: Yes, so noted. Do you plead guilty?
[Fry beeps twice] Captain Zapp Brannigan: Double yes. Guilty.
Anything from American Psycho:
Patrick Bateman: [excusing himself from Detective Kimball] Listen, you'll have to excuse me. I have a lunch meeting with Cliff Huxtable at the Four Seasons in 20 minutes.
---- Patrick Bateman: He was into that whole Yale thing. Donald Kimball: Yale thing? Patrick Bateman: Yeah, Yale thing. Donald Kimball: What whole Yale thing? Patrick Bateman: Well, he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.
---- Patrick Bateman: Hey, I'm a child of divorce, gimme a break!
Or anything from O Brother Where Art Thou?
Pete: Well hell, it ain't square one! Ain't nobody gonna pick up three filthy, unshaved hitch-hikers, and one of them a know-it-all that can't keep his trap shut.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, the personal rancor reflected in that remark I don't intend to dignify with comment. But I would like to address your general attitude of hopeless negativism. Consider the lilies of the goddamn field or... hell! Take at look at Delmar here as your paradigm of hope.
Delmar O'Donnell: Yeah, look at me.
---- Pomade Vendor: I can get the part from Bristol. It'll take two weeks, here's your pomade.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Two weeks? That don't do me no good.
Pomade Vendor: Nearest Ford auto man's Bristol.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Hold on, I don't want this pomade. I want Dapper Dan.
Pomade Vendor: I don't carry Dapper Dan, I carry Fop.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, I don't want Fop, goddamn it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!
Pomade Vendor: Watch your language, young feller, this is a public market. Now if you want Dapper Dan, I can order it for you, have it in a couple of weeks.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere!