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Thread: Your favourite dialogue, and one-liners!

  1. #31
    Senior Member Array Typology's Avatar
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    Nov 2008


    Stan: Look, my friend Kyle won't fly back home to Colorado, all I need you to do is just talk to him and tell him you know the whole talking to dead people thing isn't for real.
    John Edward: Maybe it is for real.
    Stan: Right, but it's not. It's a trick you do and I need you to just let my friend Kyle know that so he can go on with his life.
    John Edward: Look, people have the right to be skeptical. I really hear voices in my head.
    Stan: Yes, we all hear voices in our heads, it's called intuition. Get over yourself and tell my friend it's just for fun.
    John Edward: Look, what I do doesn't hurt anybody. I give people closure and help them cope with life.
    Stan: No, you give them false hope and a belief in something that isn't real.
    John Edward: But I'm a psychic.
    Stan: No dude, you're a douche.
    John Edward: I'm not a douche. What if I really believe dead people talk to me?
    Stan: Then you're a stupid douche.
    Only after disaster can we be resurrected.

  2. #32
    Member Array
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    Jun 2009


    Wife of Gob: I'm in love with your brother-in-law.
    Gob: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
    Wife of Gob: No. Your sister's husband.
    Gob: Michael? Michael.
    Wife of Gob: No. That's your sister's brother.
    Gob: No, I'm my sister's brother. You're in love with me? Me.
    Wife of Gob: I'm in love with Tobias.
    Gob: My brother-in-law?
    Wife of Gob: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.
    Gob: To be with your brother?
    Wife of Gob: No!

    -Arrested Development
    "Vous au moins, vous ne risquez pas d'tre un lgume, puisque mme un artichaut a du cur."
    -Amelie Poulain

  3. #33


    Pretty Woman

    Vivian: Tell me one person who it's worked out for.
    Kit: What, you want me to name someone? You want like a name? Oh, God, the pressure of a name... I got it. Cindafuckin'rella.

    Vivian: Well, color me happy! There's a sofa in here for two!

    Edward Lewis: I told you not to pick up the phone.
    Vivian: Then stop calling me.

    Old Lady at Opera: Did you like the opera, dear?
    Vivian: It was so good, I almost peed my pants!
    Edward Lewis: She said she liked it better than Pirates of Penzance.

    Shop assistant: Hello, can I help you?
    Vivian: I was in here yesterday, you wouldn't wait on me.
    Shop assistant: Oh.
    Vivian: You people work on commission, right?
    Shop assistant: Yeah.
    Vivian: Big mistake. Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Array The Outsider's Avatar
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    Feb 2009
    5w4 sx


    Can't forget the classic.


  5. #35
    Senior Member Array Alpha Prime's Avatar
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    Jul 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    "...However, I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt since first he looked up at the stars?"
    Hah! Good one!

    Film: Die another Day. Miranda Frost: I suppose Mr. Bond has been explaining to you his "Big Bang" theory.
    Jinx: Yeah, I think I got the...thrust of it.


    Mr. Kil: I'm Mr. Kil.
    James Bond: Now there's a name to die for.
    (I could swear they only named the character like that so that Bond could have his corny line)


    James Bond: You know, I've missed your sparkling personality.
    Zao: [punching Bond in the stomach] How's that for a punch line?
    Hit like a heavyweight, breathe deep, meditate
    Make the whole crowd get loud, make 'em levitate
    I ride through my city like a presidential candidate
    L-A-X, Phantom double-R, and accelerate

  6. #36
    Kraken down on piracy Array Lux's Avatar
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    Aug 2009


    Sherri Ann Cabot: Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it's very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say 'oh but he's so much older than you' and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.

    From: Best in Show

  7. #37
    Senior Member Array Willfrey's Avatar
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    Nov 2008


    Brian Fantana: Ron! Ron, where are you?
    Ron Burgundy: I'm in a glass case of emotion!!!
    An for some reason this line always cracks me up..
    Ron Burgundy: You back off, Evening News Team!
    And the classic:

    Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell? Oh.
    Brian Fantana: That's the smell of desire my lady.
    Veronica Corningstone: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food. Oh, excuse me.
    Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people
    Garth Holliday: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.
    News Station Employee: Smells like Bigfoot's dick.
    ...Then I ducked my head and the lights went out, and two guns blazed in the dark;
    And a woman screamed, and the lights went up, and two men lay stiff and stark...

  8. #38
    Senior Member Array
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    Aug 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by Willfrey View Post
    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I am hard, but I am fair! There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops, or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless!
    That reminds me of a certain pawn-shop owner who was trying to get off jury duty (he succeeded).

    As for me, pretty much the entirety of Tremors, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, and Clerks covers it.

  9. #39
    Permabanned Array
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    May 2007
    5w6 sp/sx


    (drowns bad guy in urinal) Cool off.

    Hans Gruber:
    Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.

    Hans Gruber: You will be witnesses.

    Plenty O'Toole:
    Hi, I'm Plenty!
    James Bond: But of course you are
    Plenty O'Toole: Plenty O'Toole.
    James Bond: Named after your father perhaps?

    George Stone: Where's Nitti?
    Elliot Ness: He's in the car.

    Optimus Prime: Bumblebee! Stop lubricating the man!

    Criswell: Future events like these will affect you in the future.

    Paula Trent:
    Don't worry. The saucers are up there, the graveyard is out there, but I'll be locked up in there.

  10. #40


    National Treasure:
    Ben Gates: "You know something? You're shouting again."
    Riley Poole: "Pretty sure she was swearing too."
    Ben Gates: "Well, we probably deserved *that.*"

    The Wedding Date:
    Kat: "I love my dad. But technically, since he's my stepfather he's not family... he's more like a hostage. "

    Optimus Prime: "Our medical officer: Ratchet."
    Ratchet: [sniffing] "The boy's pheromone levels suggest he wants to mate with the female."

    Pirates of the Carribean:
    Will Turner: "Where's Elizabeth?"
    Jack Sparrow: "She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman. "

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