Wrasslin' - An NF Social Commentary on Muscley "Man Soap Opera" Peoplez

[Domino]

If you're from NC, the genesis of the sport, then you've probably been exposed to such a spectacle at some point.

If you aren't from here, you've been exposed to it anyway.

Moving along!

My oldest best friend, an ISTJ that we met when playing in the mud at the end of our driveway, used to invite us over to her house just to hang out and eat junk and jump on the trampoline. We did this for 4,005 years, and then after that, it was a brief but tragic experiment of me and her jumping on the trampoline at midnight in our pjs without any bras on. One big bounce each and we were rolling around on the trampoline praying for the death that would not come.

But I digress!

This friend - her dad loved to watch wrestling. So when us whippersnappers were convened in the living room, sitting on the floor eating his butt-kicking-awesome single-dad tuna noodle casserole, we'd watch wrasslin' with him. Back then, it was kinda rough around the edges. My dad said he used to take clients from the disabled/handicapped halfway house to watch local matches in Greensboro in the 1970s and that it was like a parking lot fight, only with fatter guys, folding chairs and blue-haired old ladies screaming murderously in the audience.

In our day, it was Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Junkyard Dog, Roddy Piper, et al. plus a new influx of Sting, the Rock n Roll Express, etc.

Many many years pass. I got a driver's license, a somewhat hot thing going on with my Duran Duran poster, a truly consuming fascination with "21 Jump Street", and a need to go out with my girlfriends in the biggest earrings then known to mankind.

Flashforward to 2009...

Two things of note occur:

1. I'm amidst a conversation with many guy friends, longtime wrasslin' fans. I laugh at their silly talk! I laugh at their silly "matches"! I imagine our Halla tossing people around a ring in a very muscley and delightful fashion because it pleases me! At this point, I have not watched wrasslin' since I was a wee mite!

2. I wind up awake at all hours of the night because I feel sick (or my Monkey does , even though I make her a dinner of tasty rice and brush her fur properly...) and accidentally bore witness to a bunch of giant men (and ladies!) tossing each other around.

I cannot. Stop. Watching it now.

Why?

Because that world is SO ALIEN to me. It's like S-Land Sweating Moose Candy Spandex! That last sentence doesn't have to make sense! It ALL tastes like purple!

Womens' soap opera: "That's not your baby!"
Male Wrasslin' soap opera: "ZOMGFIFTYFOOTTVSCREENZ, BABY!"

Womens' soap opera: "I have amnesia!"
Male Wrasslin' soap opera: "I'm going to smoosh you into a turnbuckle until you have amnesia!"

Womens' soap opera: "Let's make love!"
Male Wrasslin' soap opera: "Ok, but really loud and on top of my enemies which are all those sneering way less awesome guys ever there in the shiny Speedos!!"

I haven't been this entertained in ages. *eats cookies* I mean, all these people are giants and they're smashing things and the laydeez could crush you with their thighs.

My brain is FASCINATED by this.

 

[jenocyde]

It brings me back to the same 80s memories that you have - Rowdy Roddy, Hulk ripping his T shirts, tag team, ahhh... I loved Mickey Rourke in that movie just now. So perfect, he was. I don't watch it anymore but it makes me remember my acid washed jean jacket fondly.

 

[Atomic Fiend]

I used to be obsessed. It got old after a while.

 

[Domino]

Of course it gets old! It's nothing but body-slamming waxed-up folks crushing each other in artful manners! You have to break it up with other things (like vicious crossword puzzle fights and inadvisable dance contests to Milli Vanilli!)

I simply can't stop staring at it right now. It's the zany opposite of Pink World, like a flipped polarity, and since I find that sort of thing engrossing, and since I know these people have put a lot of work into crushing each other, I'm staring and staring like a voyeuristic scientist (they're all voyeurs, what am I saying?). Choreographed anarchy, if you will.

 

[Atomic Fiend]

I tried watching it again and saw some familiar faces, but I can't get into anymore, I think when Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit both died... in horrible horrible ways in real life, that it put me off. I used to buy so much wrestling merchandise, Shirts, toys, books, DVDs, Videos. Dear God I loved the stuff.

 

[Ivy]

Oh, Pink. If you have not already seen it, YOU MUST see "I'm From Hollywood" and I mean IMMEDIATELY.

I'm from Hollywood - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Here is a clip

[youtube="1bAQg-zWmsI"]I'm From Hollywood[/youtube]

 

[Ivy]

And one that actually has some wrasslin' in it.

[youtube="r7SZKg3IBYQ"]more[/youtube]

 

[heart]

My parent's marital closeness was deeply augmented by a mutual interest in Wresting. I kid not. He used to call her on the phone at his lunch hour and they would talk about it.

 

[Quinlan]

Wrestling is much better wrapped up in childhood nostalgia, than in reality. I remember wrestling bubblegum and card packs. When Undertaker first came on the scene, I thought he was HUGE and about the coolest thing I had ever seen, I remember when all the lights use to go out and you knew Undertaker was about to arrive, so dramatic! It loses it's effect when you know it's been done for about the millionth time since.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

An older generation had the assassination of JFK as one of their formative childhood experiences. I had the Macho Man Randy Savage's betrayal of Hulk Hogan. All the guys at my school were in shock the next day. Most of the girls were both unconvincingly and ostentatiously indifferent.

 

[Ivy]

JJJ, you should see I'm From Hollywood too. I insist. It is in my top 5 favorite movies of all time.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

JJJ, you should see I'm From Hollywood too. I insist. It is in my top 5 favorite movies of all time.

I'd never heard of it. Funny clips though - "Undisputed Intergender Champion" lol. Will keep an eye out for it.

 

[Thalassa]

I can't stand wrestling and I've never understood it. But I like terrible horror movies, which is probably the same in some people's minds.

 

[JAVO]

Let keep this in perspective. Your tastes went from bad 70's scifi to male redneck soap operas.

I've concluded that you're going through a second puberty and becoming male this time.

 

[Domino]

Ivy - my speakers are broken atm, but I'm intrigued!

Javs - look here, buddy! I can go through my silly fads if I want to! I stare at a lot of things I shouldn't. *furtive glance* I spoke to a wrasslin' fan male friend about your Ridenour, and he said he wasn't sure who the guy was. Then he told me he and the Iron Sheik prank-called Sargent Slaughter one night. *slow head shake* He's not "right". He also said he was partying with Jeff Hardy at a local club, and ran into the Big Show at a Waffle House in Benson. *more slow head shaking* No one should eat at a Waffle House.

I guess the thing about it is the sheer strangeness and vaudevillian levels of drama, only in a manner that's alien to me. People not like me catch my attention for purposes of study/dissection. When I first landed in a garage, it too was like being on the Moon. I was the only girl and only one of two punks, so I was awakened to yet another way that people who live/were raised near me can culturally speaking live in a manner far different from mine (Ireland was interesting as well). It was a little bumpy at the beginning because I wasn't like their girls, but we all soon got pretty tight (especially after one of the "alphas" decided I was more than okay). After a bit, it was a point of odd pride to have a girl punk in the group and I'd be monitored even when I wasn't around them.

See what I'm driving at? It's not just this spectacle thing. It's a whole way of living and thinking.

 

[JAVO]

Ridenour was his real last name. I'm not sure what his wrestling alias was--I'll ask my mom, as she might remember. I do know he always wore a mask which covered his head.

regarding the prank call!

I really do understand your perspective on it. It's a good perspective to have. I was just wrasslin' with you a bit.

I definitely agree about Waffle House too!

 

[Tiltyred]

Come back! Come toward the liiiiight!

 

[Domino]

Ridenour was his real last name. I'm not sure what his wrestling alias was--I'll ask my mom, as she might remember. I do know he always wore a mask which covered his head.

regarding the prank call!

I really do understand your perspective on it. It's a good perspective to have. I was just wrasslin' with you a bit.

Oh! I wasn't directing that at you specifically. My communication skills have been not great lately (I'm exasperating my sister with my bumbling...)

I definitely agree about Waffle House too!

I think Waffle House has contributed to a great many bad things. I lived in one for about three and half years. I still smell like pancakes and greasy bacon.

Come back! Come toward the liiiiight!

*grabs on to Tilty's leg* I can't look away! As the wise philosopher Gwen Stefani once said, "This **** is bananas!" Soon my weak Se will be able to leap off a top rope and land on someone!

 

[Atomic Fiend]

I broke my arm wrestling with friends once, shit was SO cash.