I bought the game on DVD, started installing. That was 5 days ago, and I've yet to get the fucker to finish installing. It doesn't want a bar of the DVD, apparently, but wants to download the whole fucking thing via Steam. Even if I could get it to install the game from the DVD (cliched though that may be), there's still the matter of the 150Mb patch, which is apparently only available through Steam and would take me a significant chunk of my child-bearing years to download.

I've spent the last 3 hours reading through a number forums with their various elaborate and (for me) non-functional workarounds. Apparently the makers of DoW2 are unwilling to admit that any such problem exists, perhaps for legal reasons. If anyone lives near a known DoW2 programmer, I beseech you to apply a pinch-grip to the nipples of said miscreant and twist for all you're worth. Twist until you see blood. Then twist some more. Twist!