The Watchmen *SPOILERS INSIDE*
Thought it might be good to make a thread to discuss this movie.
I went to see it tonight. Battled through traffic, stood in the longest line ever, and sat down for nearly the longest movie ever (2:45hr~3:00hr movie). Here are my thoughts:
1. God damn, put some underwear on you small dick blue balls Blue Man group android. What is the PURPOSE of having him run around naked all the time!? Yes, I see your penis glows like a tiny blue LED light! Now stop making me look at it every 2 minutes and put your gay leotard back on!
2. Damn this movie has some violent spots. How many times do you need to slash the child murderer in the head?! Blue guy, why can't you learn to make people explode and also vaporize their blood in the process, instead of breaking them open like water balloons?
3. Why all the sex? Why all the nudity? It seems out of place and excessive. They had two sex scenes within the span of 10 minutes. The THIRD sex scene of the movie (after the blue light special sex scene, another WTF event) was like XXX pornographic. I mean, I like sex scenes here and there in small doses, but that was just over the top. This was like a super hero porno.
4. The Comedian. What a mother f*****. That scene in Vietnam with his baby momma was just... wow. Woman comes in and starts complaining cus the bastard got her pregnant and used the woman up like a wet doormat, then gets pissed and shoots the PREGNANT (with HIS child!) woman in the head, while the blue double-bastard sits and doesn't do s***. Just WOW.
5. WHY are you sitting there arguing about the approaching end of the world when you could feasibly just go and take out Russia and their missiles and be done with the problem? You protect America, you've killed tons of people in wars against other countries before, so why not do some damage in Russia and quit cowering in the corner about an impending nuclear holocaust!
6. Why did you act emo for half the movie, sitting on Mars with your gay ass crystal meth sculpture, and bring your hoe ass girlfriend to Mars to convince you that life and humanity has some meaning, and that you should protect it, only to find out you've been framed for destroying an entire city by your former comrade and... do nothing about it!? How could you suddenly "find a love for humanity and life" and then come back and say "Man, I like this idea of killing millions of people to instill fear in the hearts of man so that they wont kill themselves YET. Mr. ancient history complex bastard, I'm not going to lay a finger on you today because my screwed up logic says I shouldn't. Instead, I'm going to go kill another of my former team members so that he doesn't bring your pathological ass to judgment!
"
I mean, I get the idea behind why they put that in the movie, but I just read a plot based on the exact same concept in a japanese manga, and it is just as stupid. The movie wants to make a big point about the evils of human nature and how the only way they can be brought to piece is to be subject to fearing a greater power than themselves (for example, God, aliens, or some super weapon threatening to destroy giant swaths of the population, forcing the collective to come together in peace against a larger threat that minimizes the struggles between themselves), and seeks to build on and point out (especially in the final struggle) the very human flaws of these heroes. Yea, they had the same human nature as the rest of humanity, but they still fell short of having their own values and integrity to uphold when the climax came. At least the one guy with the face mask had the INTEGRITY to stick to his guns and "not compromise"! H eis the only one out of that God foresaken lot I respect. Which brings me to my next point...
7. None of these people were redeemable characters. I mean damn, I've heard of anti-heroes and the like, but these guys take the cake.
8. Oh, and did I mentions it's almost THREE HOURS long?
With all that said, It was a very unique movie experience. Unique... I've got mixed feelings like crazy with this movie...
