I don't understand how so many people have managed to avoid getting in fights. Is it perhaps a matter of differing definitions as to what constitutes a "real fight" (eg if the blood sprays less than 5m it's just playing around)? Do you back down/move away when a fight threatens, or do you never get into situations where someone wants to fight you in the first place?
Mostly the last, for me. While it's true that I'm not confrontational in general, the situation's never arisen, either. Of course, I don't go to bars, clubs, or really anyplace with a large population of strangers in close proximity, so that's probably most of it. I'm somewhat surprised that so many people have seen/been involved in fights of one sort or another - but just listening it seems that not only the fights, but the environments in which they've taken place (other than school as a kid) are mostly outside of my experience.
I've had enough to know looking back that they are largely not worth the time and energy that you think when you are young. Before I'd lift my hand now, I (or another)would have to be under extreme duress...I'd much rather neutralize an opponent than defeat them..violence is somewhat demeaning to our nature I believe. I struggle with a short temper though...I guess it develops character.
Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings...Steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you a king
Used to bounce at a Country & Western bar in Georgia, and other places.
Hey! Me, too!
Except the bar was on skid row in a city in Maine.
I wasn't the bouncer per se, but I was in charge,
and I bounced 2 fights.
I was 19.
One of them... I stood between two drunk guys fighting over a pool game with my arms spread open.
I told them they weren't allowed to do that in there,
and if they wanted to fight, they could go out side into the alley.
It took about 30 seconds, I guess.
Afterward, a friend of my father's who was there said that was a pretty brave thing I did,
but I just saw it as my job.
A bar can lose its liquor license if they have fighting.
That was back in the good old days though, when a man wouldn't hit a woman.
I bounced another fight that was just about to start.
I was out-sized by this really masculine woman, and my knees were almost knocking.
I was terrified, cause she could have knocked me out,
but my position of authority and my tough "act" worked.
She didn't call my bluff.
I've never had to physically fight another human. So I think I'd be at a real disadvantage if I was ever in that situation.
I've been in similar situations with my teens in the day. In those cases it was more a matter of restraining them or stepping aside.
I can remember two times when my life was both physically and verbally threatened. One was a man at my back with an arm around me and a knife at my throat and the other was while I was seated and a man holding a chair above my head and threatening to bash my brains out.
The first was in a bar and the other was in a professional setting.
As Mom did, I felt little fear, thought fast and talked it through. Must be lucky?
"No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer
Bang goes my earlier theory, was just attacked by my somewhat derranged elder brother despite making semi-reasonable effort to defuse situation...
Luckily he doesn't seem to know how to box (or whatever the hell he thought he was doing) half as well as he knows how to threaten and posture, suffering from the grave missaprehension that he can either intimidate me or win the fight having failed to merely because he is older. *Leaves him to calm down before attempting to talk to him again, ruefully ammends poll answer to an honest "I'm fighting right now," hoping that a round two won't be necessary.*