Ill just paste this from another forum i posted them at. Tell me what you think. i think they are great but maybe thats cause i wrote them and am arrogant and stuff, master poet tell me how to improve, i would like to get some poetry skillz please.
I was fasting and I asked God to help me express the anguish I was feeling over how pathetic and pointless and sad education and knowledge seemed to me at the time. This is my interpretation of the thoughts communicated by Him to me, polluted with my own thoughts and attitudes perhaps, but any good in them can only be attributed to God.
Cars traveling to and fro:
Cages filled with empty people and selfish destinations.
Doors opening and closing:
Making way for purposeful strides... Leading to Nowhere.
Contrived Smiles:.. light the face like a camera flash:
Sinking back in the skin to reveal..
Crying eyes and empty souls.
A mass of clay to form and shape
Lifeless, void, gray and pale
Forms a shell around the heart and pumps with oily spasms
the surface of the moon made fluid, drifting too close to the sun
Dead Gray Sludge
this one is more of a poemerant but maybe one can relate and it will serve a purpose.
Frivolity of Conversation:
Little bits of colored clay added to the bulbous mass
Fade to gray, indistinguishable, a blob of nothingness
Weighty and stagnant, putrefying, fermenting, deadinformationreachingitsultimateandendlessbirtho finfinitepollution...Intense conversations about Pirates of the Carribean....2 WHY!?
Gazing forever but unseen
Perception... to end eternity
Naked, blind, Gasping.. for breath of Light
Darkness known of dying embers
Fizzles blackness to endless night
Last edited by BridgeCable; 11-01-2008 at 10:36 PM.
Reason: a space, the dead information etc is supposed to be one huge word, it wont edit correctly....