You know you're an INFJ when...

[wedekit]

You think existentially...or is that all NFs?

Not me. O_O That is if I'm understanding correctly. Are you referring to existentialism?

If so, then I would have to disagree.

[Kyrielle]

You think existentially...or is that all NFs?

No idea if it's common. But I do.

To wedekit:

I would think he would be referring to existentialism.

[wedekit]

Hmm... something about the world being meaningless except for the meaning we give it doesn't appeal to me.

[Peguy]

That's the common definition of Existentialism.

Overall it's a philosophy concerning the nature of human existence as opposed to abstract concepts like traditional philosophy. Now what the hell human existence means is anybody's guess.

The standard division is between "Atheist" Existentialists like Sartre, Heideggar, Jaspers, etc.

Then you have "Theistic" Existentialists like Kierkegaard, Berdyaev, Marcel, Tillich, Shestov, Buber, etc.

Naturally as a Catholic I tend towards the latter.

[wedekit]

That's the common definition of Existentialism.

Overall it's a philosophy concerning the nature of human existence as opposed to abstract concepts like traditional philosophy. Now what the hell human existence means is anybody's guess.

The standard division is between "Atheist" Existentialists like Sartre, Heideggar, Jaspers, etc.

Then you have "Theistic" Existentialists like Kierkegaard, Berdyaev, Marcel, Tillich, Shestov, Buber, etc.

Naturally as a Catholic I tend towards the latter.

So would theistic existentialism be built around the idea that meaning in life can only be defined through God?

[Lotr246]

To you, life is an echo. What you have once said comes back to you from someone else who had no knowledge of what you said. It makes life seem connected.

[StoryOfMyLife]

To you, life is an echo. What you have once said comes back to you from someone else who had no knowledge of what you said. It makes life seem connected.

:yes:

Or in some cases, something I have once said comes back to me from the person I once said it to...and they think they came up with it on their own :huh:

[cherchair]

1. You've figured out that you don't fit any other type well.

2. Everyone you trust thinks so, and it was your own first guess.

You know you're an INFJ when everything in your house/life has a place and everything is in its assigned place, but your desk looks like it's been hit by a tornado.

[Dwigie]

True, I also hate to have uninvited guests or people from my family in my room it's very distracting and I get cranky.
:angry:!

[Sarcasticus]

Okay, so I was sitting in bed last night, and I was thinking, and I came up with this metaphoric scenario:

INFJs are like rearranged rubik's cubes. In regards with our relationships with people, everyone is likely to fall one of three categories:

The 1st type is really bad at trying to figure it out. They work at it for a while, trying to solve the puzzle and make it clear, but after a while they give up or just leave it as is. Occasionally, they may go back and try again, but they never really get it without instructions (and sometimes not even then).
The 2nd type is excellent. They can figure it out very easily, and can see right through us quickly, or at least quicker than most. However, there are very few people that fall in this category, and they might have a tendency to take their ability for granted or move on quickly.
The 3rd type of people aren't as naturally inclined as the 2nd, but they take a genuine interest in figuring it out. They work on it, sometimes for a long time, until they figure it out, and they actually enjoy the challenge. Even when they figured it out, it's likely they will still keep warm feelings about the game; they keep it around and are always up for any challenge it throws at them. Eventually, they get better and better, but they always keep the game at heart, at least a little bit.


As a rubik's cube, I associate best with type 3.
</random whimsical analogy>


Very interesting (and not so whimsical)!

Okay, so which MBTI types would you say are associated with each of these three types?

[gloomy-optimist]

Hmm, there's a good question; I'm not sure it would be so much just MBTI, but also how you associate with them in real life, as well.
To tell you the truth, I wouldn't know. I think some more serious and analytical types, as well as some rather ADD P types, might be category 1. The other 2, who knows?
Wanna take a crack? Which do you think is more 2 or 3? :D

[sade]

So would theistic existentialism be built around the idea that meaning in life can only be defined through God?

Quoted from Wikipedia, as I wasn't able to put my thoughts to words:
Theistic existentialism is, for the most part, Christian in its outlook, but there have been existentialists of other theological persuasions, like Islam (see Transcendent theosophy) and Judaism. The main thing that sets them apart from atheistic existentialists is that they posit the existence of God, and that He is the source of our being. It is generally held that God has designed the world in such a way that we must define our own lives, and each individual is held accountable for his or her own self-definition.

[StoryOfMyLife]

True, I also hate to have uninvited guests or people from my family in my room it's very distracting and I get cranky.
:angry:!

:yes: I'm the same way. It's one thing to have somebody I said 'hey, come in sit with me in here so we can get away from everyone else' to--- but it's another when they just assume my room is the place to hang out.

The last place I lived, during the winter, we did sort of congregate in my room because it was warmer than being in the living room-- however, when one of those friends who is off work for 2 1/2 months due to an arm-ligament related injury spends the night on your bedroom floor nearly every single night and doesn't take hints that she ought to be going home to sleep at least some of those nights...it tends to get very...very....frustrating...and I did get so cranky from it. :shock:

..lo and behold, she's my current roommate. :blush: go figure, right? :) I'm so glad I'm an unusually patient person...most of the time.

[Peguy]

To you, life is an echo. What you have once said comes back to you from someone else who had no knowledge of what you said. It makes life seem connected.

If only I got paid everytime I discovered how my own thoughts closely parallels that of some great thinker, writer, or even an entire school of thought.


It's often stated that INFJs are better at generating questions than generating answers. I must admit I only vaguely understand this, so any help is welcomed.

I notice I myself am better able in generating questions in others. Everytime I try to explain my own thoughts to other people, it seems I leave people with more questions than answers. Probably because, as I stated in my rant about Ni, there's so much for me to explain I can't possibly explain it all.

That's also why I often see my role as one of provoking thought in others rather than actually explaining things to others. I'm better at making people think(or even rethink) about issues.

I do notice that a major reason why I'm such a voracious reader of so many books on so many topics is because well I wish to have numerous questions I have answered.

And even then, answers are often just the genesis for new questions - as one INFJ told me.

I don't know, if anybody here can explain this better you're more than welcome.

[Peguy]

Getting back to what Lotr246 mentioned, do you ever find yourself subconsciously imitating the poses of people either you admire, or just poses by others you find impressive?

I do this often. Here's a few examples of poses I often imitate in various circumstances:
http://rmhh.co.uk/gifs/winston_churchill_1941.jpg
http://img.stern.de/_content/54/20/542032/Sartre500_500.jpg
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/PF_New%5C452006/PF_1954443~Portrait-of-St-Thomas-Aquinas-circa-1475-Posters.jpg
http://oybay.files.wordpress.com/2006/10/etzioni_main.jpg
http://www.edvard-munch.com/Paintings/portraits/nietsche_3.jpg

Feel free to post your own examples! :D

[Lotr246]

If only I got paid everytime I discovered how my own thoughts closely parallels that of some great thinker, writer, or even an entire school of thought.


It's often stated that INFJs are better at generating questions than generating answers. I must admit I only vaguely understand this, so any help is welcomed.

I notice I myself am better able in generating questions in others. Everytime I try to explain my own thoughts to other people, it seems I leave people with more questions than answers. Probably because, as I stated in my rant about Ni, there's so much for me to explain I can't possibly explain it all.

That's also why I often see my role as one of provoking thought in others rather than actually explaining things to others. I'm better at making people think(or even rethink) about issues.

I do notice that a major reason why I'm such a voracious reader of so many books on so many topics is because well I wish to have numerous questions I have answered.

And even then, answers are often just the genesis for new questions - as one INFJ told me.

I don't know, if anybody here can explain this better you're more than welcome.

:yes: Yes, I agree totally. Some people have told me they don't like how I make them think about things. Usually, this comes from generating a question that others seem to have missed. What is even more interesting is that these questions I pose almost seem like answers. It's difficult, though, because I cannot offer a direct solution. I see our minds as a wrapped present, where each torn-off piece represents a question. Yet, when we tear off all the pieces, we find we have another present ready to be unwrapped. I'm curious, what are the answers you are searching for in your reading?

[Peguy]

I'm curious, what are the answers you are searching for in your reading?
Depends on what I'm reading at the moment. I will give one good example of this in action.

This one issue kept bothering me: OTOH I'm a very staunch supporter of localism - ie local culture and small communities; yet at the same time a person who sees the big picture. Often I'm more interested in what's happening halfway around the world than whats happening closer to me. So an apparent contradiction no, especially with our common attitudes on the issue?

That was untill I read Leopold Kohr's Breakdown of Nations, which remains one of my favorite books concerning social-political philosophy.

Anyways, he argued that there is no contradiction between being a mind that sees the big picture and being a localist. With localism, one is better able to grasp the big picture because the big picture within your grasp - as opposed to halfway across the globe. The key events in your life happen at your doorsteps, not halfway around the world.

Kohr remarked that Plato was able to make such deep observations about human nature because he was able to meet people of various types in one small city(Athens)!

As Kohr even once remarked about the small town of Salzburg in Austria:
"The rural population that built this capital city of barely more than 30,000 for its own enjoyment never numbered more than 120,000. Yet, single-handedly they managed to adorn it with more than 30 magnificent churches, castles, and palaces standing in lilied ponds, and an amplitude of fountains, cafes, and inns. And such was their sophisticated taste that they required a dozen theaters, a choir for every church, and an array of composers for every choir, so that it is not surprising that one of the local boys should have been Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart...All this was the result of smallness, achieved with not an iota of foreign. And what a rich city they made it into." So apparently I had plenty of questions as to how two apparently contrary attitudes of mine could come together, and my readings help enormously in answering those questions.

[Kyrielle]

Getting back to what Lotr246 mentioned, do you ever find yourself subconsciously imitating the poses of people either you admire, or just poses by others you find impressive?

Feel free to post your own examples! :D

Yes. Usually I end up mirroring them during conversation. I believe it is a good sign--if I imitate your poses and gestures I am interested in what you are saying and/or feel that I am on the same wavelength as you are.

Some common poses I adopt that I don't see my peers do much (I suspect I've picked them up from older, more severe people or from people in movies):

http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1569/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1569R-150033.jpg

http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1732/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1732R-8299.jpg

http://images.inmagine.com/168nwm/stockbyte/sd136/171064sdc.jpg

http://p-userpic.livejournal.com/72788803/13802541


On the other hand, this is one I've retained since childhood. People tell me, that it actually does make me look like a little girl.

http://pro.corbis.com/images/42-16073257.jpg?size=572&uid=%7B456BE903-9FE6-41AF-B568-FEEB9701D0D1%7D

[iwakar]

Oh Yes!

Ultra ditto.

[wedekit]

Come to find out, the branch of Thomism that I was taught in my metaphysics class here is called "Existential Thomism", or Neo-Thomism.

[gloomy-optimist]

I have a tendency to fold my hands in front of me, or hold my hands to my mouth (think cutsy-girly). But I also have a few "power poses" when I need to exert myself..
But they definitely came from somewhere; I didn't stand that way a couple of years back.

[Peguy]

Come to find out, the branch of Thomism that I was taught in my metaphysics class here is called "Existential Thomism", or Neo-Thomism.

I take it you studied Jacques Maritain? He's one of my favorite philosophers, and himself remarked how Thomism was the only true Existentialism - contra Sartre.

Another good Catholic Existentialist is Gabriel Marcel. I'm utterly convinced the man was INFJ, just based on the manner he presents his thoughts.



BTW Kyrielle, I find myself doing those poses as well....except for the last one.

[cherchair]

True, I also hate to have uninvited guests or people from my family in my room it's very distracting and I get cranky.
:angry:!

I totally agree. A few years ago at a writers' workshop *everyone* would gather in my room during my "down" time. I don't know if they assumed I was an extravert because of my behavior during the day or if they thought somehow I was "trapped" in my room because I use a power wheelchair for mobility. (Actually, I'm much more mobile in my chair than most "walkies"--unless stairs are involved, lol). By the end of the week I was depleted and *very* cranky.:steam:

[wedekit]

I totally agree. A few years ago at a writers' workshop *everyone* would gather in my room during my "down" time. I don't know if they assumed I was an extravert because of my behavior during the day or if they thought somehow I was "trapped" in my room because I use a power wheelchair for mobility. (Actually, I'm much more mobile in my chair than most "walkies"--unless stairs are involved, lol). By the end of the week I was depleted and *very* cranky.:steam:

I've been in situations like this before. Telling some people "I would just like to be alone for a while" usually ends up with their feelings being hurt.

Sometimes you just have to pretend like your sick and say you're going to go lay down. Usually people avoid me out of fear of getting sick too. ;) Yes, it's lying, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

[SuperFob]

I totally agree. A few years ago at a writers' workshop *everyone* would gather in my room during my "down" time. I don't know if they assumed I was an extravert because of my behavior during the day or if they thought somehow I was "trapped" in my room because I use a power wheelchair for mobility. (Actually, I'm much more mobile in my chair than most "walkies"--unless stairs are involved, lol). By the end of the week I was depleted and *very* cranky.:steam:
Whenever my ISFJ mom (who loves showing off every inch our house) brings guests into my room, I'm definitely forced to chase them out with my bat.

[cherchair]

I've been in situations like this before. Telling some people "I would just like to be alone for a while" usually ends up with their feelings being hurt.

Sometimes you just have to pretend like your sick and say you're going to go lay down. Usually people avoid me out of fear of getting sick too. ;) Yes, it's lying, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Can't--won't--do that. It's a gimp thing, I think; people already see me as more fragile than I am so I do the "toughing it out" thing way too much, to my detriment. I like the bat idea, though. *Then* they wouldn't think I was fragile. Still, someone might get more than their feelings hurt.:devil:

[Sarcasticus]

Getting back to what Lotr246 mentioned, do you ever find yourself subconsciously imitating the poses of people either you admire, or just poses by others you find impressive?

I do this often. Here's a few examples of poses I often imitate in various circumstances:
http://rmhh.co.uk/gifs/winston_churchill_1941.jpg
http://img.stern.de/_content/54/20/542032/Sartre500_500.jpg
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/PF_New%5C452006/PF_1954443~Portrait-of-St-Thomas-Aquinas-circa-1475-Posters.jpg
http://oybay.files.wordpress.com/2006/10/etzioni_main.jpg
http://www.edvard-munch.com/Paintings/portraits/nietsche_3.jpg

Feel free to post your own examples! :D

Yes now that you mention it, I find myself doing this often:

http://www.punksinscience.org/jeffrey/pics/johnny%20cash%20finger.jpg

Sorry, couldn't resist ;)

[Peguy]

Hey no problem, come to think of it - I find myself doing that pose quite often as well. :D

[Dwigie]

You are pretty oblivious to the world around you when you are thinking but never fail to notice details that have a personal meaning for you.
ex:you can hear your name in a conversation a mile away :tongue:.
Also, you can seem very annoying or clingy to people by giving them advice or worrying about them too much.

[chrihazy1]

So, has anyone else been told that they are the most practical, down to earth person they know, yet you think they're totally crazy but when you talk to other people about it they agree? Or is this just me?

[Dwigie]

Down to earth and "no nonsense" yes very often. :yes:

[gloomy-optimist]

People who don't know me well think I've very practical, and even the ones that do know I am to an extent. I like dreaming, but I also like to make sure any dreams that are feasible are also realistic enough to be believable.
But I'm still a dreamer :D

[Thunderlight]

So, has anyone else been told that they are the most practical, down to earth person they know, yet you think they're totally crazy but when you talk to other people about it they agree? Or is this just me?

yes all the way. Im from california and everyone goes you are the epitome of california attitude. I guess its true....

[wedekit]

So, has anyone else been told that they are the most practical, down to earth person they know, yet you think they're totally crazy but when you talk to other people about it they agree? Or is this just me?

YES. I have been told that I am "so practical and detail oriented." This really baffles me. I would never describe myself as either of those. I am spacey and I am prone to daydreaming and running into objects (especially ones that were recently moved to a new location).

I think they mistaken my orientation to detail with my ability to see flaws in proposed ideas. Ni (as I perceive it) starts from the end of the problem and works its way back, and that's how I spot gaps and inconsistencies in plans. I guess I could understand how this could be described as "detail oriented."

[noigmn]

YES. I have been told that I am "so practical and detail oriented." This really baffles me. I would never describe myself as either of those. I am spacey and I am prone to daydreaming and running into objects (especially ones that were recently moved to a new location).

I think they mistaken my orientation to detail with my ability to see flaws in proposed ideas. Ni (as I perceive it) starts from the end of the problem and works its way back, and that's how I spot gaps and inconsistencies in plans. I guess I could understand how this could be described as "detail oriented."

Maybe it's a comparitive thing. As ENFP I see you as detail oriented. But it is because we are less so. Like when I look at posts from INFJs the writing and grammar is often perfected too much for an ENFP :). We care more about the ideas, the tone, the playfulness of the words etc. Details like spelling and grammar are an after thought. The judging element might also look like detail oriented to the P types.

You're post actually fits more with the NFP sytle. There are spelling and grammar mistakes, the writing is relaxed, it feels natural to read for an NFP. You also pull apart problems NFP style. But looking at your chart the I and the J aren't really going to be wrong. Maybe our types are a lot similar than I thought.

Peguy's writing would be more what I generally see INFJ to be. They definitely aren't down to earth though, their behaviour looks strange even to an ENFP :).

[wedekit]

Maybe it's a comparitive thing. As ENFP I see you as detail oriented. But it is because we are less so. Like when I look at posts from INFJs the writing and grammar is often perfected too much for an ENFP :). We care more about the ideas, the tone, the playfulness of the words etc. Details like spelling and grammar are an after thought. The judging element might also look like detail oriented to the P types.

You're post actually fits more with the NFP sytle. There are spelling and grammar mistakes, the writing is relaxed, it feels natural to read for an NFP. You also pull apart problems NFP style. But looking at your chart the I and the J aren't really going to be wrong. Maybe our types are a lot similar than I thought.

Peguy's writing would be more what I generally see INFJ to be. They definitely aren't down to earth though, their behaviour looks strange even to an ENFP :).

That wasn't one of my better posts. I did spot a grammar problem (or two), but I didn't see any notable spelling errors. Most of my errors are caused by me going back and restructuring my sentences for clarity's sake. Now you have made me paranoid about my writing style! Usually the quality of the post can be determined by how strongly I feel about the topic.

[Peguy]

Peguy's writing would be more what I generally see INFJ to be. They definitely aren't down to earth though, their behaviour looks strange even to an ENFP :).

That's Peguy for you, fucking up the reputation of all other INFJs. :redface:

As for grammar and spelling, well I honestly wouldn't consider myself a top-notch person in this field. I constantly notice spelling and grammar errors in my posts - and it does irritate me when that occurs.

I'm an aesthetic perfectionist I guess, it all has to look and sound perfect.

[Dwigie]

I'm not a grammar freak but I often edit after reading the post if I've already posted:tongue: if it seems unintelligible to me.

[gloomy-optimist]

I get a little more relaxed in some instances, but I like to stay correct if I can. Of course, that's partly so that when I'm trying to get an idea across, I can do it in a way that is intelligible and impressionable to the audience.
In other words, I want people to know what I'm talking about, and I want to sound smart so they take me seriously :D

[Kyrielle]

So, has anyone else been told that they are the most practical, down to earth person they know, yet you think they're totally crazy but when you talk to other people about it they agree? Or is this just me?

Hmm. The most practical and down to earth person? No. Generally detail-oriented, practical, and methodical when it comes to most things? Yes. It doesn't puzzle me. I usually figure it has something to do with Ni, Fe, Ti, and Se working in tandem. Ni provides an idea from whereever it gets its ideas, Fe makes sure all involved are considered, Ti spots problems, Se goes and makes the idea real, then fixes the problems with Ni's guidance under the limitations of Fe. From the outside, it makes me appear practical, because what others see operating when I'm trying to make an idea happen is Se with an overtone of Fe.

[noigmn]

That wasn't one of my better posts. I did spot a grammar problem (or two), but I didn't see any notable spelling errors. Most of my errors are caused by me going back and restructuring my sentences for clarity's sake. Now you have made me paranoid about my writing style! Usually the quality of the post can be determined by how strongly I feel about the topic.

Yeh, now you sound INFJ :). I do the restructure thing too, but with a different focus.



Peguy's writing would be more what I generally see INFJ to be. They definitely aren't down to earth though, their behaviour looks strange even to an ENFP :).

Oh yeh, sorry peguy I didn't mean those two sentences to be linked :). Bad ENFP habit of changing topics all the time. Was suggesting you're writing seemed clean and structured and INFJ like, not that you were the pinnacle of strangeness :). Though strangeness is an NF trait.

[Lotr246]

I'm an aesthetic perfectionist I guess, it all has to look and sound perfect.

Me too. Sometimes I'll sacrifice grammar in order for it to please the senses.

[lorkan]

Holy shit 54 pages! Well, I don't know if this has been told already but...

you know you're an INFJ when you buy new stuff and feel that you should explore more of the things you already posessing.

[faith]

You're able to see the good qualities in people you hate.

OR another way to say it is

you can dislike someone that you admittedly know is a "good person" or a "nice guy".
Yep. There are so many very nice people whose company I don't enjoy.

You delete your post because you think nobody will see your intended context and it will be misinterpreted. Too, too often! :doh:

you spend time researching personality codes for long periods of time on the computer. feeling that you're this special person in the world. when in reality, you're just a sheltered mishap. *adds "sheltered mishap" to list of favorite terms*

You internalize criticisms because you are driven to view yourself from whatever vantage point produced the criticism. Then you start questioning whether your own vantage point or the other person's is more valid, or if they are in fact equal. Next you start philosophizing about what the self is and what boundaries do and do not exist between people which leaves you feeling ironically isolated for connecting to everything including the negativity. :huh: Holy cow. Fantastic description.

Hmm, what you mean like some ultimate "connectedness" everything? Yeah, I've experienced that. Mostly when I'm outside, minding my own business, it'll sneak up on me and attack me while I'm looking at the light playing on a building or some such thing. So rude. It never even says goodbye when it's gone. It just leaves. :steam: Those moments are what keep me alive inside.
You can't deny the feeling you have inside that there is meaning behind all parts of everyday life. Yes. Why is that? I've tried to talk myself out of it, but it keeps coming back.

[Dwigie]

The 16 Types.info - Socionics and Oldham personality styles (http://www.the16types.info/types.php?typename=INFJ)
Can anyone relate to this?
I can...but that may just be because I'm paranoid with low self-confidence :P.

[Peguy]

Oh yeh, sorry peguy I didn't mean those two sentences to be linked :). Bad ENFP habit of changing topics all the time. Was suggesting you're writing seemed clean and structured and INFJ like, not that you were the pinnacle of strangeness :). Though strangeness is an NF trait.

Hey no problem. As you saw, I took it with a sense of humour. ;)





you know you're an INFJ when you buy new stuff and feel that you should explore more of the things you already posessing.

I get this feeling all the time in regards to the books in my personal library.

[Lotr246]

The 16 Types.info - Socionics and Oldham personality styles (http://www.the16types.info/types.php?typename=INFJ)
Can anyone relate to this?
I can...but that may just be because I'm paranoid with low self-confidence :P.

Read the INFP description, and see if you agree with that one. The INFP for this system is Ni Fe, while the INFJ is Fi Ne.

[Dwigie]

* I am an interesting, exciting person.(:whistling:*cough*don't laugh)
* In order to be happy I need other people to pay attention to me.
* Unless I entertain or impress people, I am nothing.(People pleasing)
* If I don't keep others engaged with me, they won't like me.
* The way to get what I want is to dazzle or amuse people.
* If people don't respond very positively to me, they are I am rotten.
* It is awful for people to ignore me.
* I should be the center of attention.(haha..yeah I like, not long though, it's suffocating after a while)
* I don't have to bother to think things through—I can go by my "gut" feeling.(more of I'll find a way, I'll have an idea)
* If I entertain people, they will not notice my weaknesses.(sucking up...joking around yes yes:yes:I turned a few potential enemies into friends)
* I cannot tolerate boredom.(LOL!)
* If I feel like doing something, I should go ahead and do it.
* People will pay attention only if I act in extreme ways.(I call it "shock treatment", you have to use drastic measures or your point goes completely unnoticed!)
* Feelings and intuition(it depends, let's not get pony-landy) are much more important that rational thinking and planning.

I have to say however that acceptance is more valuable to me than attention.

[gloomy-optimist]

INFJ:

* I am socially inept and socially undesirable in work or social situations.
* Other people are potentially critical, indifferent, demeaning, or rejecting.
* I cannot tolerate unpleasant feelings.
* If people get close to me, they will discover the "real" me and reject me.
* Being exposed as inferior or inadequate will be intolerable.
* I should avoid unpleasant situations at all costs.
* If I feel or think something unpleasant, I should try to wipe it out or distract myself—for example, think of something else, have a drink, take a drug, or watch television.
* I should avoid situations in which I attract attention, or I should be as inconspicuous as possible.
* Unpleasant feelings will escalate and get out of control.
* If others criticize me, they must be right.
* It is better not to do anything than to try something that might fail.
* If I don't think about a problem, I don't have to do anything about it.
* Any signs of tension in a relationship indicate the relationship has gone bad; therefore, I should cut it off.
* If I ignore a problem, it will go away.

INFP:

* I am an interesting, exciting person.
* In order to be happy I need other people to pay attention to me.
* Unless I entertain or impress people, I am nothing.
* If I don't keep others engaged with me, they won't like me.
* The way to get what I want is to dazzle or amuse people.
* If people don't respond very positively to me, they are rotten.
* It is awful for people to ignore me.
* I should be the center of attention.
* I don't have to bother to think things through—I can go by my "gut" feeling.
* If I entertain people, they will not notice my weaknesses.
* I cannot tolerate boredom.
* If I feel like doing something, I should go ahead and do it.
* People will pay attention only if I act in extreme ways.
* Feelings and intuition are much more important that rational thinking and planning.


I think I relate more with the INFJ side, but I dunno. I think I should take a closer look at them when I have more time.

[wedekit]

Yes. Why is that? I've tried to talk myself out of it, but it keeps coming back.
Who knows? Maybe we're right. I don't believe that there's anything wrong with thinking that life actually means something. I would elaborate, but I fear that others would be turned off by it being borderline religious.

You know you're an INFJ when you buy new stuff and feel that you should explore more of the things you already posessing.

I get this feeling all the time in regards to the books in my personal library.
Yes! I often buy a new video game, only to decide I should play one I already own first, or some nonsense like that! ;) The same applies to books.

[noigmn]

INFJ:
* Being exposed as inferior or inadequate will be intolerable.


I get notice this with an INFJ I know. There's a strange competition and fight over things sometimes that seems to make no sense. Like offering a hand to help her up, and getting rejected with a dismissive, "no I can do it." Like it isn't said in a harsh angry way, just dismissive I need to be strong sort of way. And you think for a second, what?!?

[Lotr246]

I get this feeling all the time in regards to the books in my personal library.

Agree. I am always buying more books before I read the ones I already have.

You know you're an INFJ, if you use "we" when referring to yourself. I also notice this in my writing. Instead of saying what I think/feel, I make it more of a discussion with my audience.

[Dwigie]

INFJ:

* I am socially inept and socially undesirable in work or social situations.
* Other people are potentially critical, indifferent, demeaning, or rejecting.
* I cannot tolerate unpleasant feelings.
* If people get close to me, they will discover the "real" me and reject me.(haha, I "chant this everyday")
* Being exposed as inferior or inadequate will be intolerable.
* I should avoid unpleasant situations at all costs.
* If I feel or think something unpleasant, I should try to wipe it out or distract myself—for example, think of something else, have a drink, take a drug, or watch television.
* I should avoid situations in which I attract attention, or I should be as inconspicuous as possible.
* Unpleasant feelings will escalate and get out of control.
* If others criticize me, they must be right.
* It is better not to do anything than to try something that might fail.
* If I don't think about a problem, I don't have to do anything about it.
* Any signs of tension in a relationship indicate the relationship has gone bad; therefore, I should cut it off.
* If I ignore a problem, it will go away.

INFP:

* I am an interesting, exciting person.
* In order to be happy I need other people to pay attention to me.
* Unless I entertain or impress people, I am nothing.
* If I don't keep others engaged with me, they won't like me.
* The way to get what I want is to dazzle or amuse people.
* If people don't respond very positively to me, they are rotten.
* It is awful for people to ignore me.
* I should be the center of attention.
* I don't have to bother to think things through—I can go by my "gut" feeling.
* If I entertain people, they will not notice my weaknesses.
* I cannot tolerate boredom.
* If I feel like doing something, I should go ahead and do it.
* People will pay attention only if I act in extreme ways.
* Feelings and intuition are much more important that rational thinking and planning.


I think I relate more with the INFJ side, but I dunno. I think I should take a closer look at them when I have more time.

Same here.

[gloomy-optimist]

I get notice this with an INFJ I know. There's a strange competition and fight over things sometimes that seems to make no sense. Like offering a hand to help her up, and getting rejected with a dismissive, "no I can do it." Like it isn't said in a harsh angry way, just dismissive I need to be strong sort of way. And you think for a second, what?!?

I don't like it when other people think I can't be strong for myself, because then they might have to worry about me. I don't like the extra attention or causing other people to have to go out of their way to help me. It's not because I'm too shy or because I'm ultra-self satisfied (I'm actually fairly extroverted for an INFJ, sometimes); it's just that I want to know that I can be strong if and when I need to be, for myself and for others.

And I guess that carries over to other parts of life where it shouldn't even matter sometimes :B

[Lotr246]

You read to transform the way you think about things

[Peguy]

You read to transform the way you think about things

Yes of course. Or at the very least, help provide more meat to your already existing insights.

[noigmn]

Yes of course. Or at the very least, help provide more meat to your already existing insights.

Actually this is what I see as an ENFP. My weakness is often not having the information to fill out the picture enough and make the correct links. I'm not sure how the INFJ works exactly, but I often get the feeling they are very sure of things without the external data needed to have that intuition. Like Ne and Ni are great tools but they rely on there being enough information, and it is good to be aware of that. One fact can completely change the conclusion. You guys might be more likely to have the full picture with Ni being more about yourself though. The world seems to have a lot of info for Ne to amass. Hence our ADHD like behaviour :).

[Peguy]

noigmn I admit to having difficulty responding to your post. Not that it was bad, but rather it's a difficult matter to fully explain. :)

I can only speak for myself but Ni does not always create random stuff out of thin air. In many cases, my Ni creates new insights from facts and information I already know.

A good example of this would be my Ni rant about the French revolution (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nf-blogs/6761-comprehensive-thoughts-3.html#post318779) and how that relates to issues of "Political theology".

Now many of the facts I present I've already known for several years, since the French revolution is one of my favorite historical eras to study. But the insights I presented on that historical event is new.

Not only that, I can also read a single sentence or argument about something, and automatically it just "clicks" into my head, and at that moment I can fully articulate the point much further right off the bat - often with info I already know.

I hope this makes sense, cause I'm having trouble explaining this really.


Anyways, my next rant in my blog was about Ni:

...I have the constant problem of being unable to fully articulate my views. It isn't because my views are not fully developed to any extent, it mostly has to due to the fact that I'm an Introverted Intuitive, and Ni by nature is not something that can be fully expressed through words.

Not only that, as I mentioned elsewhere, Ni is all about Meta-perspective - seeing things from a full perspective. When you see things from the "50,000 ft." perspective, there's simply too much to describe and explain to somebody else. You literally have to see it for yourself to believe it. Bluewing in his INFJ profile mentioned that INFJs are often overwhelmed by the myriad of ideas that flow through their minds.

To add on to that, Ni is very random and irrational. The insights it provides don't come readily, and only appear momentarily. So only for short, but very intense, periods at a time can I ever articulate my views to a great extent. Unfortunately, too often right when I'm the middle of articulation, my mind literally goes blank.

Which in the end gives the impression of my thoughts being rather fragmentary in nature. The reality behind the actual words is far different, there's literally an entire universe other people simply don't see.

[Peguy]

And let me add another thing. Ni insights also create an urge to seek out more info on the matter, as if trying to validate its claims.

So Ni IMO works in two ways. It helps creates interest in new areas via insight, and inspires new insights on info you already know.

That's my point in short. :)

[Kyrielle]

And let me add another thing. Ni insights also create an urge to seek out more info on the matter, as if trying to validate its claims.

So Ni IMO works in two ways. It helps creates interest in new areas via insight, and inspires new insights on info you already know.

That's my point in short. :)

Well don't forget that Ni and Se often work together, one playing off the other. So, you could easily receive Se information and Ni will derive insights from that information. Or you could create a new insight via Ni, and Se will pop in to attempt to realise that idea.

Which is basically what you were saying.

I remember this bit being discussed on that INFJ or INFP website by Vicki Jo.

[DestructoGirl30]

I've spent the better part of the last hour reading the post on this thread. It was both amusing and insightful.

I'm new to the boards and I look forward to joining in the conversations.:hi:

[Apollanaut]

You know you're an INFJ when you spend hour after hour reading about what it's like to be an INFJ!

[Dwigie]

You know you're an infj when you constantly think:
"If people really knew me, they wouldn't like me"
Basically, you feel a bit like a fraud.

[gloomy-optimist]

You know you're an INFJ when you spend hour after hour reading about what it's like to be an INFJ!

That's exactly what I did. My friends thought I was crazy, but I think that's only because they don't really get what it's like to finally understand all your little oddities >.>

[wedekit]

That's exactly what I did. My friends thought I was crazy, but I think that's only because they don't really get what it's like to finally understand all your little oddities >.>

Just discovering the concept of introversion and that there are plenty of people with this preference was really life-changing for me.

[Kyrielle]

You know you're an infj when you constantly think:
"If people really knew me, they wouldn't like me"
Basically, you feel a bit like a fraud.

Sometimes. But mostly I wonder if that's my avoidant relational tendencies talking as opposed to INFJness.

[felt up]

You know you're an INFJ when...a depressing song makes you feel alive, especially when you are depressed. Just watched Radiohead: in Rainbows. Wonderful concert if you can catch it on IFC.

[felt up]

You know you're an infj when you constantly think:
"If people really knew me, they wouldn't like me"
Basically, you feel a bit like a fraud.


It's proven to be true. At least for me. I don't try anymore.

[Travo7]

This is a tentative one, and is probably true for other types:

you always hit the "preview post" button before submitting a post.

[Travo7]

You know you're an INFJ when...a depressing song makes you feel alive, especially when you are depressed. Just watched Radiohead: in Rainbows. Wonderful concert if you can catch it on IFC.

:yes:

"Videotape" does this for me. Wonderful lyrics.

[Apollanaut]

This is a tentative one, and is probably true for other types:

you always hit the "preview post" button before submitting a post.

Yes! :thumbup:

[noigmn]

This is a tentative one, and is probably true for other types:

you always hit the "preview post" button before submitting a post.

There's a preview post button?! :shock:

Must've got valued as ENFP unimportant :).

[gloomy-optimist]

This is a tentative one, and is probably true for other types:

you always hit the "preview post" button before submitting a post.

Actually, no; I usually just edit what I submit without previewing ^^;

[Thunderlight]

This is a tentative one, and is probably true for other types:

you always hit the "preview post" button before submitting a post.

By the time i've planned out what i want to say and rereading it to see how it looks on paper, and then again just to make sure that there are no typos; I've already wasted so much time I get fed up and hit quick post!

[Dwigie]

At school when you hand in a copy the essay continues inside your head.

[kmclaughlin]

You know you're an INFJ when you spend hour after hour reading about what it's like to be an INFJ!

:yes:

You know you're and INFJ when you spent hours reading about what it's like to be and INFJ but you can't/don't want to post yet b/c you haven't finished reading the ENTIRE thread for fear that someone else already said the same thing and you don't want to look like an idiot.

[Lightyear]

:yes:

You know you're and INFJ when you spent hours reading about what it's like to be and INFJ but you can't/don't want to post yet b/c you haven't finished reading the ENTIRE thread for fear that someone else already said the same thing and you don't want to look like an idiot.

Exactly. And if you are new in a forum you at first only read other people's posts until it occurs to you that you could also write something and your opinions don't just need to stay in your head.

[Peguy]

:yes:

You know you're and INFJ when you spent hours reading about what it's like to be and INFJ but you can't/don't want to post yet b/c you haven't finished reading the ENTIRE thread for fear that someone else already said the same thing and you don't want to look like an idiot.

Stop reading my mind you dirty pervert. :tongue: ;)

[sanveane]

:yes:

You know you're and INFJ when you spent hours reading about what it's like to be and INFJ but you can't/don't want to post yet b/c you haven't finished reading the ENTIRE thread for fear that someone else already said the same thing and you don't want to look like an idiot.

^Hmm I think this thread could double as a 'safe-place' for INFJ, we all seem to struggle with ever-refining our thoughts before posting. *taxing* Hence if you don't know if it may have been said you could still write whatever you want imho... I'm sure it would just start a cascade of recognition :)

[kmclaughlin]

Exactly. And if you are new in a forum you at first only read other people's posts until it occurs to you that you could also write something and your opinions don't just need to stay in your head.

YES! Exactly so....I think I've typed 5 or 6 posts and have deleted them all!!! I can't speak until I know what the hell I'm talking about :D

[Kestrel]

:yes:

You know you're and INFJ when you spent hours reading about what it's like to be and INFJ but you can't/don't want to post yet b/c you haven't finished reading the ENTIRE thread for fear that someone else already said the same thing and you don't want to look like an idiot.

I haven't posted in this thread yet simply for this reason. I hate redundancy. I think you just won this thread. :newwink:

[sanveane]

I haven't posted in this thread yet simply for this reason. I hate redundancy. I think you just won this thread. :newwink:

^hehe I do too, BUT I love when INFJ freely express. It's like getting 'blood from a stone' sometimes. :)

[sade]

You know you're and INFJ when you spent hours reading about what it's like to be and INFJ but you can't/don't want to post yet b/c you haven't finished reading the ENTIRE thread for fear that someone else already said the same thing and you don't want to look like an idiot.
Bingo. Must stop doing that. :blush: :D

[Kestrel]

^hehe I do too, BUT I love when INFJ freely express. It's like getting 'blood from a stone' sometimes. :)

Yep, I hesitated posting here at first. I was a lurker for like a month. Buuuuuuut, I finally took the plunge.

And, yes, I'm trying my best to freely express and fight the urge to cancel my posts and silently observe. :shock:

This thread title should be changed to "INFJ Endless Stream of Consciousness."

[ajblaise]

If anyone should be canceling their posts it's some of the INTPs and ENTPs here, not any of the INFJs, it would probably take a lot for one to get annoying.

[kmclaughlin]

I just wish I could type as fast as my head threw thoughts. I know that's been discussed but it's seriously one thing that really bugs me about me. It keeps me from getting the point across or the feelings expressed and I end up just keeping my mouth shut.

Anyone ever try writing in a journal?? I love the idea and always start one with the intention of just letting my brain throw up on the page...but I never make it past the first page. I sit and think about what I want to write and if it's good enough to put on paper and end up writing about nothing that's actually wanting out. I get stage fright putting my own thoughts on paper. WTF is that? hehe

[kmclaughlin]

^hehe I do too, BUT I love when INFJ freely express. It's like getting 'blood from a stone' sometimes. :)


Couldn't agree more :)

[Kestrel]

You know you're an INFJ when you find posting on this board is exhausting.

Maybe it's just me but I feel wayyyyy out of my element on a message board.

[kmclaughlin]

It is exhausting! I've only been here 1 day...all day mind you...I'm trying to read and learn as much as I can...and I'm still feeling like I can't get to the level of everyone else here. Even if I never post again, I LOVE that I am not alone and I'm not wierd!!!!! :happy:

[Peguy]

I just wish I could type as fast as my head threw thoughts. I know that's been discussed but it's seriously one thing that really bugs me about me. It keeps me from getting the point across or the feelings expressed and I end up just keeping my mouth shut.

Oh yes I can relate. In my blog, I lamented that only a small fraction of my thoughts ever see the light of day. There's a whole universe that other people simply don't get to see.


Anyone ever try writing in a journal?? I love the idea and always start one with the intention of just letting my brain throw up on the page...but I never make it past the first page. I sit and think about what I want to write and if it's good enough to put on paper and end up writing about nothing that's actually wanting out. I get stage fright putting my own thoughts on paper. WTF is that? hehe

I can relate. This is especially true with incidents in the past where if I left my thoughts on paper, somebody else would find them and read them and of course mock me for thinking such things. You know how kids are. :rolli:

I find that less to be a problem today, but still....I always seek to keep my journals and such under tight guard.

I can relate to your feelings of not being able to write in your journals because you think it isn't forth putting on paper. It's something you have to gradually get used to, and just think it doesn't have to be great writing per se. In all probability, the only person reading this stuff is you - or people you show it to. So writing formalities are nothing you should worry about too much.

Heck, I'll tell you this right now that many of my thoughts are written down quite randomly. I even draw arrows showing the proper order that they should be read in. The most important thing to keep in mind at that moment is to just simply get the thoughts down. You can rearrange as you go, or do it later. Just get the thoughts down.

And these thoughts can be several pages long, or simply just a paragraph or two. It is quite satisfying when you see something written down.

So don't force yourself, just let it come to you gradually. I find it amazing to go back and see first-hand the development of my thoughts over time.

[kmclaughlin]

...and here I thought I had trust issues with the whole fear of someone reading what I actually wrote..I couldn't understand why it seemed I couldn't trust in some minor areas but was fine in trusting what really matters. I am typically a good judge of character and so trust comes easy to me..I'm rambling and I'm sure this post belongs elsewhere but I haven't a clue where....

[Lady X]

It is exhausting! I've only been here 1 day...all day mind you...I'm trying to read and learn as much as I can...and I'm still feeling like I can't get to the level of everyone else here. Even if I never post again, I LOVE that I am not alone and I'm not wierd!!!!! :happy:

yeah...no...you're still weird :D

[kmclaughlin]

Thanks for the support Erin..I love you, too!

[Lady X]

:D

[Peguy]

I don't know does this song strike any cords with any of you?
Beautiful Loser - Bob Seeger

He wants to dream like a young man
With the wisdom of an old man
He wants his home and security
He wants to live like a sailor at sea

Beautiful loser
Where you gonna fall?
When you realize, you just can't have it all

He's your oldest and your best friend
If you need him, he'll be there again
He's always willing to be second-best
A perfect lodger, a perfect guest

Beautiful loser
Read it on the wall
And realize
You just can't have it all

You just can't have it all
You just can't have it all
Ohh, ohh, can't have it all

You can try, you can try, but you can't have it all
oh yeah

He'll never make any enemies, enemies, no
He won't complain if he's caught in a freeze
He'll always ask, he'll always say please

Beautiful loser
Never take it all
'Cause it's easier
And faster when you fall

You just don't need it all
You just don't need it all
You just don't need it all
Just don't need it all


Personally, I can certainly relate to the first verse. :redface:

[kmclaughlin]

I can relate the the first and second verse but that's about it. Sure, I'd like to have it all, but I know there is no way for that to be possible. The chorus just doesn't fit to me.

[Thunderlight]

I don't know does this song strike any cords with any of you?


wow. that just totally killed my good mood. its sounds just like who I wanted to be (before being called a loser). :cry::(

whoever wrote that song is kind of a meanie

[Kyrielle]

Anyone ever try writing in a journal?? I love the idea and always start one with the intention of just letting my brain throw up on the page...but I never make it past the first page. I sit and think about what I want to write and if it's good enough to put on paper and end up writing about nothing that's actually wanting out. I get stage fright putting my own thoughts on paper. WTF is that? hehe

I have the same problem. Either that or I forget to keep up with it. I've been thinking about starting a blog, but I never know if my life is ever interesting enough to record. I suspect I should start doing it, since I seem to forget everything so damn much. ;)

[gloomy-optimist]

That song actually really strikes a cord with me. Like, it's almost perfect (with exception to maybe the "won't complain" part ;))
I have this issue with being a dreamer, sometimes. I want to do everything; I want to be everything; I want to try everything, at least once, just to see what it's like.
Unfortunately, I can't really do that...:(

[Kestrel]

You know you're an INFJ when you struggle to figure out how to open, close, or operate various "simple" contraptions. I don't know how many containers I've opened the wrong way, only to find out there was an easier way after the fact. :doh:

My Se really sucks sometimes. :blush:

[Numbers]

Not to be contentious, but i'm actually really good at that sort of thing - figuring out how something works. I would have attributed that to Ti, but maybe not?

[Kestrel]

^
I probably should have been more specific. But it's usually things that I "overthink" and always ends up being simpler than I expect.

Usually things that have no "thinking" required to figure out. Just a keen eye for detail.

Complicated things that require thought are easier to figure out for me.

[kmclaughlin]

You know you're an INFJ when you hate drama IRL but there is an entire soap opera going on in your head that no one knows about.

[Lotr246]

Read this description: Jungian Psychological Type (http://www.mdani.demon.co.uk/wword/types.htm#IF)

[kmclaughlin]

That's totally me! how incredibly frustrating for the outside world....

[Lotr246]

That's totally me! how incredibly frustrating for the outside world....

Did you agree with this? : "The person's life then becomes symbolic, taking on the nature of a Great Work, mission or spiritual-moral quest." I strongly associate with this.

[kmclaughlin]

I could see myself heading in the direction of agreeing with that. I am just now learning about who I am and what makes me tick after having to surpress it for a long time in a bad marriage. That will be a discussion one day in a different forum :)

[Peguy]

You know you're an INFJ when you hate drama IRL but there is an entire soap opera going on in your head that no one knows about.

So is your Super-ego having an affair with the Id, all to to make the Ego jealous? :D

[kmclaughlin]

So is your Super-ego having an affair with the Id, all to to make the Ego jealous? :D

That sounds SO HOT!! I love me. No I hate me. hehehe

[Peguy]

That sounds SO HOT!! I love me. No I hate me. hehehe

It'd even be more HOT if you slapped yourself everytime you said "I hate me". LOL! :D

[kmclaughlin]

LOL!! How do you know I don't?

[Peguy]

LOL!! How do you know I don't?

Well then, by all means please share video of this for the gallery.

[kmclaughlin]

I'm still editing the footage....could be years before that's done.

[Peguy]

I'm still editing the footage....could be years before that's done.

Damn your INFJ perfectionist sense of procrastination!

[Peguy]

You know you're INFJ when pradoxically(:tongue:) your most depressive moments are also your most joyful ones.

[Apollanaut]

You know you're an INFJ when reality leaves a lot to the imagination.

[sanveane]

You know you're INFJ when pradoxically(:tongue:) your most depressive moments are also your most joyful ones.

QFT mwahaha. You should see what I was going to post in the "perfect moments" thread I started, prior to reconsidering... :blink:

You know you're an INFJ when reality leaves a lot to the imagination.

The world pales....

[Apollanaut]

62 pages and still going strong! Do you think we'll reach the magic 100?
:bananallama:

[sade]

^ First laugh of the morning. Yes. :D

And most depressive moments = best moments. Yup. Now get out of my head.

[gloomy-optimist]

I spent a year abroad, and I didn't make many friends; I was depressed a good part of the last half of the year.

I miss it D: There's a clarity, a reflective state in that depressiveness...


You're INFJ if you don't know how to explain these slightly masochistic tendencies to people

[Kestrel]

You know you're an INFJ when elderly people seem to be drawn to you and are at ease talking to you. Maybe it's because we listen intensely and value their insight.

Speaking for myself here, I've had numerous random elderly people tell me that I remind them of their grandson or nephew. :shock:

[lorkan]

You know you're an INFJ when you're young and older people tell you; stop acting so mature. And as you getting older people tell you; grow up!

[felt up]

You know you're an INFJ when you're young and older people tell you; stop acting so mature. And as you getting older people tell you; grow up!

Brilliant!

[StoryOfMyLife]

You know you're an INFJ when you're young and older people tell you; stop acting so mature. And as you getting older people tell you; grow up!


:yes: I'll second that one!

[Thunderlight]

for some reason whenever I meet a friend's parents they absolutely love me.

It baffles me too cuz in my eyes I haven't even done anything to deserve it!

[kmclaughlin]

I was always a favorite to my friends parents'...little did they know that I was the deviant one!!! LOL!

[gloomy-optimist]

Hehe, parents, and teachers too, tend to love me. It really helps when it comes to trying to get away with stuff :D

[Kestrel]

Though most teachers liked me well enough, I think only other N's actually recognized my strengths.

My best teacher was likely an ENFJ. She gave "tough love" to the class and challenged everyone to assert themselves and try harder. And I did. Her discussions were engaging, lively, and interesting. It was probably the most fun I had actually being in school.

Interestingly, my ISTP brother who had her as a teacher found her to be mean, annoying, and did not enjoy her teaching methods.

[hideki]

You know you're an INFJ when you're young and older people tell you; stop acting so mature. And as you getting older people tell you; grow up!


third'd

[LindseyLadybug]

Parents and teachers love me too! (I feel so conceited saying that...) What do you think it is that initially draws them to us?

[iwakar]

Wow. This thread is still going strong.

You know you're an INFJ if you keep coming back to this thread! ><

[lorkan]

LindseyLadyBug: Wow, you're beautiful looking!

[iwakar]

Ni is teh hawt.

Tis why all INxJs rawk it.

[A Schnitzel]

Ni is teh hawt.

Tis why all INxJs rawk it.

QFT

[Travo7]

Anyone ever try writing in a journal?? I love the idea and always start one with the intention of just letting my brain throw up on the page...but I never make it past the first page. I sit and think about what I want to write and if it's good enough to put on paper and end up writing about nothing that's actually wanting out. I get stage fright putting my own thoughts on paper. WTF is that? hehe

Yes. I only write if I know ahead of time what it is I want to write about, which is usually when I have an Ni sudden insight thingy. Journals just don't work for me.

[Thunderlight]

i think teachers like nf's because we actually want to learn stuff, and not just try to pass the class. We have a hunger for knowledge and significance

(for the most part. When theres a class or project i dont care about, it can get pretty ugly.)

[LindseyLadybug]

LindseyLadyBug: Wow, you're beautiful looking!

Thank you. That's very sweet of you to say. :blush:

Yes. I only write if I know ahead of time what it is I want to write about, which is usually when I have an Ni sudden insight thingy. Journals just don't work for me.

I'm always afraid someone will read my journals. If I knew that no one would EVER read it, I'd probably be more inclined to keep one. Since that isn't the case, I usually just write inspiring quotes/ideas from books I'm reading...things I don't mind others reading.

i think teachers like nf's because we actually want to learn stuff, and not just try to pass the class. We have a hunger for knowledge and significance


Oh yeah, I guess that's true. I tend to see teachers more as real people than other students do. By this I mean that some students may not understand that adults have needs, fears, desires, and insecurities too. For example, when a teacher sees that his/her students are showing complete apathy about the lesson, I pick up on it and try to at least seem interested. Many students do not understand that teachers (good ones, that is) put a lot of passion and hard work into their jobs and when students don't appreciate that, it discourages and the teacher. I remember seeing the hurt in my teachers' eyes when that happened. It always makes my heart sink. :( Ugh, I need to stop caring so much! lol

[Travo7]

I'm always afraid someone will read my journals. If I knew that no one would EVER read it, I'd probably be more inclined to keep one. Since that isn't the case, I usually just write inspiring quotes/ideas from books I'm reading...things I don't mind others reading.

I hear you. If I wrote anything THAT personal, it would be all or nothing and I would definitely be worried someone would find and read it.

[sanveane]

I'm always afraid someone will read my journals. If I knew that no one would EVER read it, I'd probably be more inclined to keep one. Since that isn't the case, I usually just write inspiring quotes/ideas from books I'm reading...things I don't mind others reading.



I used to keep a diary but a boyfriend read it once... it is one of the worst feelings I have ever had. I would never keep one now. I do write a lot but keep it password protected on my laptop.

[gloomy-optimist]

I have this weird thing with a lot of my writing; I would never want to hear anyone's actual opinion on it, and I kind of wouldn't want to know who has read it. But part of me does want someone to read it, just to kind of get some of this stuff that's trapped inside of me and into the mind and understanding of someone else.
My writing's intensely personal. I draw, and that's personal too, but never on the level of my writing; it's strange how when I write creatively, my soul seems to pour out a little. It tends to be a bit melancholy too...

[kmclaughlin]

I wish writing and words, in general, came easy to me so I can stop relying on other people to interpret what I'm trying to say. It's all right there in plain english in my head but writing or speaking what I'm feeling is like a foreign language.

I started a journal as advised by a therapist I went to. I wrote one page and my soon-to-be ex read it and woke me at 3am to argue what I wrote about him (he's ISTJ). It was awful and I doubt I will ever write again. The only security I have is locked inside.

[felt up]

I hear you. If I wrote anything THAT personal, it would be all or nothing and I would definitely be worried someone would find and read it.

I kept journals religiously but stopped about two years ago when I realized for millions of years, I've been writing about the same things. Seriously. 16 and 21 and 25 and 40 all looked the same to me. I have tons of journals I have no idea what to do with. As an INFJ, journalling and therapy keeps me connected to the feelings I actually want to DUMP! I mean, who knows what they are feeling better than INFJs?

I know the general consensus is that these activities are good for the growth of any individual, but I believe journalling/therapy is better for types who aren't connected to their feelings so much. For me it feels like I'm rehashing stuff I already know.

I've had many a therapist in my life. I wanted them to tell me something new, zone in on what was wrong with me to explain the life I've lived, something I didn't already know about myself. I wanted it all to be revolutionary, and smart, and life-altering. I never got that. I always came out of sessions feeling I would be a much better therapist than the rote, book-learned, disconnected therapist sitting in front of me.

Wow, I didn't realize my response to this thread would turn into a mini-rant. Oh well...

[kmclaughlin]

I've been to one therapist and the response after 1.5 sessions was, "well, it seems like you already know what's going on and what to do and how to deal with it. Do you think you need to keep seeing me?" I was floored! I dont know if she was just a bad therapist or if my life wasn't interesting enough for her to listen to, or if I really don't need therapy.

[felt up]

I've been to one therapist and the response after 1.5 sessions was, "well, it seems like you already know what's going on and what to do and how to deal with it. Do you think you need to keep seeing me?" I was floored! I dont know if she was just a bad therapist or if my life wasn't interesting enough for her to listen to, or if I really don't need therapy.

kmclaughlin, I believe what you experienced would be the NORM for any INFJ. I feel therapy is a waste of time for us. Life-coaching might be a better alternative, since it is more action-based, rather than feeling-based.

Side note:

I just realized why I hate therapists so much. I never felt they respected my individuality & complexities and seem determined to box me in with trite scripts/solutions for my life.

[LindseyLadybug]

I have this weird thing with a lot of my writing; I would never want to hear anyone's actual opinion on it, and I kind of wouldn't want to know who has read it. But part of me does want someone to read it, just to kind of get some of this stuff that's trapped inside of me and into the mind and understanding of someone else.
My writing's intensely personal. I draw, and that's personal too, but never on the level of my writing; it's strange how when I write creatively, my soul seems to pour out a little. It tends to be a bit melancholy too...

Yeah, I understand. Some of the things I write...I'm like, "Wow, that sounds so deep! I should include this in a book" but then I realize no one else would understand it. Plus, when I write melancholy things, I fear someone will read it and think I have "issues." Some people just don't get it.

[sade]

I've been to one therapist and the response after 1.5 sessions was, "well, it seems like you already know what's going on and what to do and how to deal with it. Do you think you need to keep seeing me?" I was floored! I dont know if she was just a bad therapist or if my life wasn't interesting enough for her to listen to, or if I really don't need therapy.
:shock:
I know mine wasn't bad and my life wasn't boring, but mine said the same thing, except asking if the therapy should be quit. And it did feel like a waste of time. I would've preferred advices instead or doing exercises or something action based like felt up said.

[kmclaughlin]

I knew I wasn't in need of therapy but I was asked to go by the ex who said I was crazy....my life is far from boring and there's alot of messed up shit that I have put up with...I think what I was looking for was someone to force me to say what's in my head in a "safe" environment.

[sade]

^ I didn't mean to imply anything, it jumped in accidentally. :doh: Sorry...
We do need people to talk to.
For me personally, talking about emotions etc. type of therapy wasn't the best in long run..

[kmclaughlin]

hehe...I didn't think you were talking about me personally...

[sade]

Whoops. :blush: I've been like this all day. Completely tired, and not completely sure what I'm talking about. I think I was talking to you.. I've been trying to study for tomorrows exam without giving myself any slack so I'm completely incomphensable to even myself right now. :doh:

[kmclaughlin]

That's okay :D I'm "working" so I completely understand.

[sade]

:laugh:

[Kyrielle]

kmclaughlin, I believe what you experienced would be the NORM for any INFJ. I feel therapy is a waste of time for us. Life-coaching might be a better alternative, since it is more action-based, rather than feeling-based.

Side note:

I just realized why I hate therapists so much. I never felt they respected my individuality & complexities and seem determined to box me in with trite scripts/solutions for my life.

I think it might also be because by the time we go to a therapist, and while we know how to fix our problems and we know what's wrong, we do not know if what we feel is normal and if our plan of action is the best one. Maybe we just want someone to validate our feelings. I know whenever things are going horribly wrong I usually need someone to listen to what I'm thinking and feeling so I can get it out of my mind and look at it from another angle.

[Travo7]

I kept journals religiously but stopped about two years ago when I realized for millions of years, I've been writing about the same things. Seriously. 16 and 21 and 25 and 40 all looked the same to me. I have tons of journals I have no idea what to do with. As an INFJ, journalling and therapy keeps me connected to the feelings I actually want to DUMP! I mean, who knows what they are feeling better than INFJs?

I know the general consensus is that these activities are good for the growth of any individual, but I believe journalling/therapy is better for types who aren't connected to their feelings so much. For me it feels like I'm rehashing stuff I already know.

I've had many a therapist in my life. I wanted them to tell me something new, zone in on what was wrong with me to explain the life I've lived, something I didn't already know about myself. I wanted it all to be revolutionary, and smart, and life-altering. I never got that. I always came out of sessions feeling I would be a much better therapist than the rote, book-learned, disconnected therapist sitting in front of me.

Wow, I didn't realize my response to this thread would turn into a mini-rant. Oh well...

Yeah, I know what you mean. After a few sessions, my last therapist sort of became a "friend." We would exchange ideas and share interests, which was nice, but definitely not what I needed. Maybe I was expecting too much.

[Peguy]

I'm my own therapist. Scarry thought isn't it?

[Thunderlight]

i had a therapist too--she basically told me i learned so fast, i should only set up an appointment when i needed one. havent been back in a while....


I think it might also be because by the time we go to a therapist, and while we know how to fix our problems and we know what's wrong, we do not know if what we feel is normal and if our plan of action is the best one. Maybe we just want someone to validate our feelings. I know whenever things are going horribly wrong I usually need someone to listen to what I'm thinking and feeling so I can get it out of my mind and look at it from another angle.

I think this hits the nail on the head. it hard though, to find the right person to confide in. thankfully i found another INFJ and weve been confiding in eachother ever since; stuff I never would have told a soul otherwise

[Apollanaut]

I'm my own therapist. Scarry thought isn't it?

Me too!

[Apollanaut]

Whoops. :blush: I've been like this all day. Completely tired, and not completely sure what I'm talking about. I think I was talking to you.. I've been trying to study for tomorrows exam without giving myself any slack so I'm completely incomphensable to even myself right now. :doh:

You know you´re an INFJ when youre completely incomprehensible even to yourself!

[Peguy]

You know you´re an INFJ when youre completely incomprehensible even to yourself!

Oh yes, not to mention that if others manage to hear your incomprehensible thoughts - they insist it's the most brillian thing they ever heard.

[Apollanaut]

Oh yes, not to mention that if others manage to hear your incomprehensible thoughts - they insist it's the most brillian thing they ever heard.

Yeah, that´s happened to me many times. It find it quite embarassing!

[Peguy]

I don't know, can any of guys relate to this description of Lev Shestov? As for myself, I can't help but laugh everytime I read it - because I can relate to it so much:

"Shestov's philosophy is, at first sight, not a philosophy at all: it offers no systematic unity, no coherent set of propositions, no theoretical explanation of philosophical problems. Most of Shestov's work is fragmentary. With regard to the form (he often used aphorisms) the style may be deemed more web-like than linear, and more explosive than argumentative. The author seems to contradict himself on every page, and even seeks out paradoxes. This is because he believes that life itself is, in the last analysis, deeply paradoxical, and not comprehensible through logical or rational inquiry. Shestov maintains that no theory can solve the mysteries of life. Fundamentally, his philosophy is not 'problem-solving', but problem-generating, with a pronounced emphasis on life's enigmatic qualities."

Lev Shestov - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lev_Shestov#The_Philosophy_of_Despair)

You know you're INFJ when negative descriptions of your type are a source of endless humour.

[Apollanaut]

I don't know, can any of guys relate to this description of Lev Shestov. As for myself, I can't help laugh everytime I read it - because I can relate to it so much:


You know you're INFJ when negative descriptions of your type are a source of endless humour.

Yeah, "paradox" is a word I use a lot to explain how I see the world. I believe that Ni is the function which is most comfortable with paradox and best understands its implications.

[sanveane]

^When I was really young finding the word 'paradox' and understanding the concept was a revelation. I could finally put a word to what I was always (and will always be) captivated by.

[Lotr246]

Yes, I agree with his description a lot. His views on philosophy are almost identical to mine, in that, he doesn't believe in a strictly rationally based philosophy. I can also relate to the fragmentary presentation of his ideas. Also, in his description, it says he was influenced by Kierkegaard and Dostoevsky. Two authors who have been crucial in the development of my views as well.

[noigmn]

I don't know, can any of guys relate to this description of Lev Shestov? As for myself, I can't help but laugh everytime I read it - because I can relate to it so much:


You know you're INFJ when negative descriptions of your type are a source of endless humour.

I can relate to it also. Logic has always been down the list for me when it comes to explaining life and the universe. It is more saved for translating ideas to others.

[Travo7]

I don't know, can any of guys relate to this description of Lev Shestov? As for myself, I can't help but laugh everytime I read it - because I can relate to it so much:


You know you're INFJ when negative descriptions of your type are a source of endless humour.


I really relate to this:

"This is because he believes that life itself is, in the last analysis, deeply paradoxical, and not comprehensible through logical or rational inquiry."

[tibby]

You know you're an INFJ when in your closest relationships people will state/feel the following: "I've never met anyone who understands me as well as you do" or "has this kind of connection with".

[Peguy]

I especially relate to Shestov's claim that life and the universe are an endless enigma. If life were not a deep mystery, then it just wouldn't have any real meaning IMO.

Hence why I have little tolerance for those with a more reductionist approach to things. Yes reason and logic have their place, but one must also recognise that reason and logic can go so far in many respects.


You know you're an INFJ when in your closest relationships people will state/feel the following: "I've never met anyone who understands me as well as you do" or "has this kind of connection with".

Yes I hear this alot.

[Travo7]

Yes. I'm pickin' up what you're layin' down, man. Totally. :D

[Skyward]

... when you look for something to munch on and look in the fridge, find nothing... a few seconds later look in the fridge again to see if you missed something... and find nothing. You give up and grab a bag of chips.

[sade]

... when you look for something to munch on and look in the fridge, find nothing... a few seconds later look in the fridge again to see if you missed something... and find nothing. You give up and grab a bag of chips.
Yup, especially if I'm on the phone.
I walk around, check the fridge. Nothing. Pace around some more, check the fridge. Wait.. did I check the fridge? And then grab something.
(And walk some more while talking, I can't stay still for some reason when on the phone.)

[LindseyLadybug]

(And walk some more while talking, I can't stay still for some reason when on the phone.)

Me either! I pace like crazy! I can sit still pretty much any other time but on the phone I get so nervous....and it's almost like I have to walk around to keep my thoughts going so I'll know what to say next. It "keeps me on my toes", if you will. lol

[kmclaughlin]

I do the same thing! I get tons of housework done on the phone! If I sit too long, I get lost in my own thoughts and the person on the other end has to get my attention...I usually do this with my mother. She's quite a talker about nothing. I love when she's on her computer and talking to me on the phone and she verbalizes step by step what she is doing...something like this> click, type type type, hit enter, waiting for the confirmation...blah blah blah...

and now I have gone off on a tangent about my mother and gone completely off topic..my apologies :D

[sade]

^^ That's good to hear, I thought I was strange pacing around and doing the dishes etc. while simultaniously talking on the phone.

kmclaughlin, my mom does that too. But usually when she's asking me how to get the thing working. :D

[IDK123]

This is not exactly the same thing as the telephone but when I'm sitting in class, I have to do something like continually nod my head, to pay attention to what the instructor is saying or I completely space out into my own world.

[Silent Stars]

I actually don't do any of that.

[A Schnitzel]

I actually don't do any of that.

Almost 700 posts of INFJ based things and you don't do any of it? :huh:

[Skyward]

Almost 700 posts of INFJ based things and you don't do any of it?

That's okay, we haven't reached 1000.

I pace all the time too! Either while thinking or while talking on the phone.

During class, if I'm not engaged in whatever we're doing, I doodle abstract stuff. Mostly ribbons or gothy looking wireflowers.

[Silent Stars]

Almost 700 posts of INFJ based things and you don't do any of it? :huh:
I was referring to the posts about having to be continually moving and doing other things while talking on the phone; I can easily remain pretty much motionless for hours on end, and when I talk on the phone, I rarely ever do anything else.

[Thunderlight]

you know you're INFJ when you can't stop thinking about love for one second
And you feel you're the only one who seems to care about it

[Skyward]

you know you're INFJ when you can't stop thinking about love for one second
And you feel you're the only one who seems to care about it

'Love' in the world seems so superficial, more like a business deal than actual oneness of two hearts.

I have a question, do you other Nis have a vivid imagination? Such as being able to just see the pictures in your head like a picture or video. I myself see the pictures in my head through a piece of smoked glass. Another INFJ I know has a vivid imagination and is a great artist.

Could a vivid imagination be connected with the strength of Ni?

[Peguy]

you know you're INFJ when you can't stop thinking about love for one second
And you feel you're the only one who seems to care about it

To an extent yeah. I certainly hate the shallow understanding of love that prevails nowadays. To me it's about the deep connection between two souls.

I don't know if anyother INFJ guys experience this, but it always seems to be nice to have a woman to think about. Even if you're not interested in her romantically, it's quite comforting to think of her in some of those terms. In my particular case, this leads to an blurrying of the line between friendship and love with women.

Oh well Im just rambling here.

Anyways, concerning love - you have to watch this. :D
Slavoj Žižek - Love is evil

[Thunderlight]

^ hahahahaha wow. that guy is a hoot. very interesting/ odd ideas he does have

and yes, i always have to have a person on my mind whether or not he actually is worth having affections for. its weird

[karenk]

I've been to one therapist and the response after 1.5 sessions was, "well, it seems like you already know what's going on and what to do and how to deal with it. Do you think you need to keep seeing me?" I was floored! I dont know if she was just a bad therapist or if my life wasn't interesting enough for her to listen to, or if I really don't need therapy.

I tried going to a therapist and he told me I was the most informed patient he ever had. :huh: Needless to say, he wasn't very helpful with new info or insight. (He also asked me if I thought I needed to keep going.)

[karenk]

I don't know if anyother INFJ guys experience this, but it always seems to be nice to have a woman to think about. Even if you're not interested in her romantically, it's quite comforting to think of her in some of those terms. In my particular case, this leads to an blurrying of the line between friendship and love with women.

I'm not a guy, but when I have an interest in someone it's motivates me in other areas of my life. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

[Synarch]

I tried going to a therapist and he told me I was the most informed patient he ever had. :huh: Needless to say, he wasn't very helpful with new info or insight. (He also asked me if I thought I needed to keep going.)

I imagine it is rather discouraging to know more than the person who is the so-called expert.

[Thunderlight]

well arent INFJ's supposed to BE the people that get jobs as therapists? thats probably why. we're like, the top bar for that kind of stuff

[sade]

I'm my own therapist. Scary thought isn't it?
Not at all.
I'm thinking about trying some cognitive therapy on myself. ;)

[Kestrel]

Has anyone watched that HBO show "In Treatment"? The show is just basically a person talking to their therapist. I only saw a few episodes, but damn was it interesting. I'm endlessly fascinated by people's stories - piecing together the parts of them that make them tick.

[Thunderlight]

Happy Turkey Day Everyone!!!

[candylandjoe]

Today I made love to a turkey heart on page 69.

[Lotr246]

This may be a stretch: You've thought about transgressing your own moral standard in order to teach others a lesson.

[tibby]

One of the defining moments in your life was when you discovered MBTI and that you were, indeed, an INFJ

[StoryOfMyLife]

One of the defining moments in your life was when you discovered MBTI and that you were, indeed, an INFJ

:yes:

Suddenly things were just so much clearer...

...and then I was confused again.

[sade]

This may be a stretch: You've thought about transgressing your own moral standard in order to teach others a lesson.
I'll admit that, several times actually. But not nessesarily to teach a lesson (that too) but for some other reasons too.. I have I actually crossed the standard? I don't think so, atleast I don't remember doing so. Hmm.

A bit of topic, but INFJs imagination can be rather dark, as was conversed somewhere else (I think they were talking about fantacies). Yay, or nay?
I say yay.

[LadyJaye]

... I fall in love with you at first sight.

[StoryOfMyLife]

I'll admit that, several times actually. But not nessesarily to teach a lesson (that too) but for some other reasons too.. I have I actually crossed the standard? I don't think so, atleast I don't remember doing so. Hmm.

A bit of topic, but INFJs imagination can be rather dark, as was conversed somewhere else (I think they were talking about fantacies). Yay, or nay?
I say yay.


I, too, say 'yay'. I've been told that I express 'dark' ideas well in my writing [if that is what I am indeed going for... :) ]

[Synarch]

... I fall in love with you at first sight.

:yes:

[noigmn]

... I fall in love with you at first sight.

:yes:

And you think I'm insane for it :).

[Peguy]

This may be a stretch: You've thought about transgressing your own moral standard in order to teach others a lesson.

Yes I can relate to this very much. A "suspension of the ethical" to use Kierkegaard's expression, if in a different context.


A bit of topic, but INFJs imagination can be rather dark, as was conversed somewhere else (I think they were talking about fantacies). Yay, or nay?
I say yay.

I say yay. This is especially true if I'm angry or upset about something, and I'll spout off some of the most vile things one can imagines. The reactions of others to such incidents are mixed; sometimes they think it's absolutely hiliarious, other times they become very disturbed and worried.

I'll readily admit they're not my greatest moments really.

It reminds me how Dostoevsky's second wife described him as a very irritable and spiteful person; and how "he could not restrain his spite" at various times.

I can relate to that all too readily. :(

[Travo7]

You let others continue going down a path that will end disasterously, as you said beforehand, just to let them learn their lesson. After the fact, however, they seldom recognize that you were right, and you realize that it was in vain.

[Kestrel]

You let others continue going down a path that will end disasterously, as you said beforehand, just to let them learn their lesson. After the fact, however, they seldom recognize that you were right, and you realize that it was in vain.

I second this. You can't save people from themselves...

You know you're an INFJ when you let your actions speak louder than mere words. (Probably already been mentioned but I'm not skimming 70 pages!)

[Cameigons]

Has anyone watched that HBO show "In Treatment"? The show is just basically a person talking to their therapist. I only saw a few episodes, but damn was it interesting. I'm endlessly fascinated by people's stories - piecing together the parts of them that make them tick.

I have. Great show, different from what we usually see on tv these days. When I joined this forum I expected seeing a thread about it.. but I didn't feel like bringing it up :)

[Thunderlight]

A bit off topic, but INFJs imagination can be rather dark, as was conversed somewhere else (I think they were talking about fantacies). Yay, or nay?
I say yay.

yay, but In my ideas and stories, theres always a way out or hope for the people that deserve it :yes:

[gloomy-optimist]

A bit of topic, but INFJs imagination can be rather dark, as was conversed somewhere else (I think they were talking about fantacies). Yay, or nay?
I say yay.

My imagination is actually much darker than I usually let on. Morbid, but not based in pure horror (I don't like horror movies, it's weird).

The funny thing is, it was actually darker when I was younger; I almost began my fascination of suffering before I even really understood what it was.

[locke]

A bit of topic, but INFJs imagination can be rather dark, as was conversed somewhere else (I think they were talking about fantacies). Yay, or nay?
I say yay.

My imagination can be pretty dark, and so can my jokes when my inhibitions let them out.

At my martial arts class my sensei tied up a student with his belt. He then sat down and casually reclined on the bound student. One of the other students said, "Hey Sensei, let me get you a beer." Everyone laughed. When Sensei was trying to untie the belt he had a bit of trouble. I exclaimed, "Quick get the bone saw! We gotta save the belt!" It wasn't received very well. My morbid sense of humor doesn't see the light of day very often and usually surprises people when it escapes.

[Jack Flak]

My imagination can be pretty dark, and so can my jokes when my inhibitions let them out.

At my martial arts class my sensei tied up a student with his belt. He then sat down and casually reclined on the bound student. One of the other students said, "Hey Sensei, let me get you a beer." Everyone laughed. When Sensei was trying to untie the belt he had a bit of trouble. I exclaimed, "Quick get the bone saw! We gotta save the belt!" It wasn't received very well. My morbid sense of humor doesn't see the light of day very often and usually surprises people when it escapes.
I thought you did well. I would've said "Cut his fuckin' arms off, ahahahaha!"

[sade]

Thanks to you two I now have people staring at me for laughing out loud in a public space. Thanks.

It's nice to hear that the imagination thing is more of a rule than exception. :D

[ByMySword]

You get into those moods where your life seems like a never ending blur and for a time you're not sure if its real or not. :huh:

I think it happens when I've lost all inspiration for something and I have to find something new to get into. Without it, I lose all structure in my everday life, and thus, it becomes meaningless.

[Lotr246]

As long as something has meaning, you will value it. You do not necessarily need to have a personal relationship to its meaning.

[Apollanaut]

You get into those moods where your life seems like a never ending blur and for a time you're not sure if its real or not. :huh:

I think it happens when I've lost all inspiration for something and I have to find something new to get into. Without it, I lose all structure in my everday life, and thus, it becomes meaningless.

Oh God, yes! On days like that I find it almost impossible to get out of bed....:(

[Meridian]

You know you're INFJ if you're able to relate to Martin Buber's description of being stuck on a narrow ridge; which means being secure in the absolute insecurity of the ones fate and/or the fate of the universe as a whole. Yeah I know, it makes no logical sense - that's the point! :D

::Closes the book by Buber in front of her::

Okay, now, that was just spooky.

[sade]

You let others continue going down a path that will end disasterously, as you said beforehand, just to let them learn their lesson. After the fact, however, they seldom recognize that you were right, and you realize that it was in vain.

They wouldn't listen to me even if I gave a warning. I've watched it happen before, and have a feeling that I'll be watching those things in the future too. Like now, but this time I think I'll have to jump in. She means too much for me not to.


I say yay. This is especially true if I'm angry or upset about something, and I'll spout off some of the most vile things one can imagines. The reactions of others to such incidents are mixed; sometimes they think it's absolutely hiliarious, other times they become very disturbed and worried.

I'll readily admit they're not my greatest moments really.

It reminds me how Dostoevsky's second wife described him as a very irritable and spiteful person; and how "he could not restrain his spite" at various times.

I can relate to that all too readily. :(

I hate to say that when I loose my temper, the defence mechanism I use against the shame after it is.. keeping up some of he anger. One of my worst qualities really.

It's the worst when I actually scare people so bad that they'll avoid for a few days afterwards. But if they laughed I'd react even worse. The intensity of the emotion is something that's hard for others to handle,and I don't wonder why.

Somehow I have to associate the literary style (not genre) of romanticism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanticism) or postmodern (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postmodern_literature) to my thinking. Kierkegaard for one is as a writer considered postmodern. ;) I can't remember the spesific name of the type I'm looking for here, it's in one of my books at home. But it could explain the 'darker' imagination especially when directed towards the darker sides of reality. I suppose the literary style would sound familiar to some NFs, INFJs also? It did to me, but I might be overthinking this.

Rosa Liksom (and her 'Dark Paradise') came to mind througout the thread, that discussed the imagination.. But she is more of a post modern writer:
The sun was shining behind the factory, coloring the water turquoise by the shore. A boy stood barefoot on the pier with a broom in his hands, squinting in the sunlight. On the pier there were chunks of meat being washed by small waves. The planks were sticky with blood, and white blubber floated on the edge of the shore in long strips. The boy felt small and dejected…He felt sad. All these ice-covered mountain, surrounded by water on every side, the sticky blood and stinking meat would be his fate, too. He would live only in order to lose his life.

You get into those moods where your life seems like a never ending blur and for a time you're not sure if its real or not. :huh:

I think it happens when I've lost all inspiration for something and I have to find something new to get into. Without it, I lose all structure in my everday life, and thus, it becomes meaningless.

Yes, yes and yes. And I hate it when it happens, the finding something new part is even harder then.


About the love of intensive music.. Anyone else love Disturbed? Some of the lyrics just strike me somehow, besides the music itself.

[kmclaughlin]

... I fall in love with you at first sight.


having just come out of a 10 year marriage, I am finding this all too true. How I describe it...jump in with both feet then tear you and your flaws to shreds on the way out when you don't live up to my ideal.

[Silent Stars]

I don't really consider Disturbed to be intense, but that's just relative to what I listen to.

This would be more like it. (http://www.myspace.com/esotericuk)

[sade]

Intensive is relative as is all.
But if talking about death metal etc.. Bodom, Turisas, perhaps? :D
Then again, I'd gravitate more towards Theatre of tragedy (first albums) or Tristania, which aren't part of that..
Ah well.. I'd hate to go justifying my taste for lighter music again.

[StoryOfMyLife]

^ Ditto to all of the above here... losing my temper, especially. I can't seem to help myself when I fly off the handle. I spend a lot of time reining in my emotions, trying to be patient, but there's always the straw which breaks the camel's back, so to speak. It's not something I've ever been proud of, and my outbursts like that have come fewer and farther between, but I've scared off so many friends from wanting to be around me days after they witness an explosion... I always feel horrible after the fact and sometimes can't even recall the things I said, but know they were incredibly hurtful.

[Lotr246]

While in the shower, you can't remember if you just washed your hair, so you wash it again.

[Kestrel]

While in the shower, you can't remember if you just washed your hair, so you wash it again.

This happened to me yesterday. Something about being in the shower makes me zone out completely. :D

[StoryOfMyLife]

While in the shower, you can't remember if you just washed your hair, so you wash it again.


:rolli: Sadly, yes. I do that on a regular basis.

To add onto the cleanliness embarrassment---

You know you're an INFJ if you've put body wash in your hand and used it as shampoo and have put shampoo on your loofah and used it as body wash...

[Thunderlight]

You know you're an INFJ if you've put body wash in your hand and used it as shampoo and have put shampoo on your loofah and used it as body wash...

the EXACT reason I bought two-in-one shampoo/body wash :D:cheese:

[StoryOfMyLife]

the EXACT reason I bought two-in-one shampoo/body wash :D:cheese:


:blush: Bless the genius who thought of that [they were probably an INFJ, too].

I'll have to ...buy some of that...

[Silent Stars]

I've found that it doesn't work nearly as well as using both separately.

[StoryOfMyLife]

I've found that it doesn't work nearly as well as using both separately.


Darn. :(

:D Guess I'll just stick with my confused way of getting clean *lol*

[karenk]

While in the shower, you can't remember if you just washed your hair, so you wash it again.

wow. This happens to me too. It's so irritating. ha.

[Lauren Ashley]

... I fall in love with you at first sight.

:wubbie: I didn't know my odd fascination with ENFs was mutual.

[Orangey]

:rolli: Sadly, yes. I do that on a regular basis.

To add onto the cleanliness embarrassment---

You know you're an INFJ if you've put body wash in your hand and used it as shampoo and have put shampoo on your loofah and used it as body wash...

I think this only tells you that you're a sensotard.

[Sky is BLUE!]

Hi everybody! I'm really new to this stuff, but after reading this thread (yes, the whole 700+ posts in a row) I feel quite at home. :)

This brings to my puzzle. I really like listening to music but when I'm asked what kind of music or bands I like to listen, my mind just freezes. I mean, I just can't bring myself to point out any one band that I like the most. I just feel that whenever I listen to music, it depends on what mood I'm in and that again depends on...whatever.
Saying that I like X kind of feels unjust to Y because on some other occasion I like Y just as much as X. Makes sense, uh? :shock:

I've been wondering if this is just my own inner weirdo at work but can you guys/gals relate to this? I'm not even sure if this has anything to do with INFJness :blush:

[Kyrielle]

Hi everybody! I'm really new to this stuff, but after reading this thread (yes, the whole 700+ posts in a row) I feel quite at home. :)

This brings to my puzzle. I really like listening to music but when I'm asked what kind of music or bands I like to listen, my mind just freezes. I mean, I just can't bring myself to point out any one band that I like the most. I just feel that whenever I listen to music, it depends on what mood I'm in and that again depends on...whatever.
Saying that I like X kind of feels unjust to Y because on some other occasion I like Y just as much as X. Makes sense, uh? :shock:

I've been wondering if this is just my own inner weirdo at work but can you guys/gals relate to this? I'm not even sure if this has anything to do with INFJness :blush:

Not weird. Fairly standard around here. I believe a few other NF types have said similar things. There are some threads around here about music and type. It might give you some insight.

[Sky is BLUE!]

:) Thanks for the reply, Kyrielle!

[Peguy]

Hi everybody! I'm really new to this stuff, but after reading this thread (yes, the whole 700+ posts in a row) I feel quite at home. :)

This brings to my puzzle. I really like listening to music but when I'm asked what kind of music or bands I like to listen, my mind just freezes. I mean, I just can't bring myself to point out any one band that I like the most. I just feel that whenever I listen to music, it depends on what mood I'm in and that again depends on...whatever.
Saying that I like X kind of feels unjust to Y because on some other occasion I like Y just as much as X. Makes sense, uh? :shock:

I've been wondering if this is just my own inner weirdo at work but can you guys/gals relate to this? I'm not even sure if this has anything to do with INFJness :blush:


Welcome and relax, you're not a weirdo - at least not to us.

Yes I can't count how many times this has happened to me - where my mind freezes not only when asked about favorite kinds of music or bands, but rather asked about favorites of anything really!

[StoryOfMyLife]

I think this only tells you that you're a sensotard.


:huh: A senso-wha? Are you making fun of me? :(

[Skyward]

You know you're an INFJ when you dive and hide when you hear someone coming down the stairs and make a game out of seeing if they see you or not. (Maybe just an I thing? :D)

A senso-wha? Are you making fun of me?

A sensotard just means someone who rarely notices the environment - Most Ns mave sensotard moments. Like Einstein (INTP) forgot to wear pants to a dinner party. Its nothing to worry about, it gives cool stories! :)

[noigmn]

A senso-wha? Are you making fun of me?

A sensotard just means someone who rarely notices the environment - Most Ns mave sensotard moments. Like Einstein (INTP) forgot to wear pants to a dinner party. Its nothing to worry about, it gives cool stories! :)

Yeh, don't worry! Being a sensotard is cool. Normally the more sensotarded you are, the more intuitive you are.

[Tiltyred]

- You have a natural connection with animals. You might occasionally feel that you more readily like animals than humans.

Or maybe it's just me...

My cat is my favorite person.

[cherchair]

Me too. Sometimes I'll sacrifice grammar in order for it to please the senses.

Absolutely. I do this in my fiction writing all the time. And I love it.:)

[cherchair]

I wish writing and words, in general, came easy to me so I can stop relying on other people to interpret what I'm trying to say. It's all right there in plain english in my head but writing or speaking what I'm feeling is like a foreign language.

I started a journal as advised by a therapist I went to. I wrote one page and my soon-to-be ex read it and woke me at 3am to argue what I wrote about him (he's ISTJ). It was awful and I doubt I will ever write again. The only security I have is locked inside.

I can write my feelings clearly enough, but speaking about them is another matter!

I kept journals for years and hauled them with me through many, many moves. They run the gamut from philosophical questions to sexual escapades, and I've left instructions that they be burned at my death because I don't want anyone to read them.

For the last ten years I've been wrting fiction, which is really no less personal, but one step removed since the characters can struggle with all those issues I used to write about in my journals. Nevertheless, I have a hard time having my work critiqued, not because of any ineptness but because it is so personal. My current lover, guessing this, asked to see some of the manuscript I'm working on because he wanted to see "what made me tick." (Shudder.) Mercifully, he's an INTJ and focused on the prose, the metaphors, etc., rather than the emotional motivation of my characters.

[Kyrielle]

You know you're an INFJ when you dive and hide when you hear someone coming down the stairs and make a game out of seeing if they see you or not. (Maybe just an I thing? :D)

Hehe, I do that sometimes. Just those random bursts of desire to make a silly game out of something when no one else realises they're playing.

[ByMySword]

^^^You know you're an INFJ when you have a picture of a taheen as your avatar.

Nice one, Kyrielle. ;)

This gunslinger approves. :2ar15:

[Peguy]

You know you're INFJ if you constantly are amazed and overwhelmed by the inmeasurable gap between your everyday affairs and the insights that swim through your head.

I notice this all the time, and meditated on this in the latest entry in my blog - concerning how Merton's views of the contemplative life applies very much to my life.

Forgive me for my shitty description of this; it just seems my inner life is governed by deep insights into the larger issues concerning life and people, and even where mankind might be heading in the next few generations. Yet my everyday affairs are governed by issues that wont matter within a week or two.

This especially happens whenever I have to return to work after time off. I always get this weird feeling of having to cross from one dimension into another. And as Anja would put it(:tongue:), I'm constantly straddling between those two worlds.

It gets rather overwhelming and even frustrating at times trying to figure how the hell these two worlds can possibly coexist at the same time within my life.

[ByMySword]

^^^Agreed.

I wish I didn't have to put aside my internal thoughts that currently involve my rise to power in the world and creating a warrior-priest religion that combines Christiano-pagan beliefs and rituals as well as incorporating Machiavellian philosophy in order to go back to class or work.

Such a drag. ;)

[Kyrielle]

^^^You know you're an INFJ when you have a picture of a taheen as your avatar.

Nice one, Kyrielle. ;)

This gunslinger approves. :2ar15:

:D Finally! Someone noticed what it was! *celebrates*

[ByMySword]

:D Finally! Someone noticed what it was! *celebrates*

:cool:

[Skyward]

Almost halfway done with the last book of that series :cheese:

I miss the butler robot...

-You know you're an INFJ when you can write the most philosophical stuff that makes you think 'Oh wow! I wrote that?' but cant even give someone directions to a store that's on the other side of town because after 12 years of living somewhere you still don't know the main roads of the town.

-You know you're an INFJ when some other great philosopher thought the same thing but wrote it down better. :doh:

[Apollanaut]

You know you're an INFJ when you understand the complex but are baffled by the simple.

[LindseyLadybug]

-You know you're an INFJ when you can write the most philosophical stuff that makes you think 'Oh wow! I wrote that?' but cant even give someone directions to a store that's on the other side of town because after 12 years of living somewhere you still don't know the main roads of the town.

Oh, so true! I have absolutely no sense of direction! If I happen to know where something is located, I'm still no help because I don't know the street names. :huh: People will come up to me and ask, "Hey, do you know how to get to--" and I'm like, "Nope!....I have no sense of direction." :D

I seem to write the best stuff really late at night when I'm only half conscious. I guess that's when my subconscious comes out to play. lol:thinking:

[StoryOfMyLife]

^^ Good grief, that's me to a T. I can barely remember the intersecting roads of the corner I live on. Thank goodness our main road is actually called 'Main Street', or I'd be even more worse off.

Strange thing, I only remember directions by street names of ONE place I lived, and that was for two years, with my grandparents...and I couldn't drive. I still can't drive [well, can, but..another story] but I knew and still know those roads like the back of my hand. Possibly because it was the area I first lived when I was young and was returning to..hmm

[Silent Stars]

Yeh, don't worry! Being a sensotard is cool. Normally the more sensotarded you are, the more intuitive you are.
Eh, not necessarily. I'm definitely very intuitive, but I'm also always aware of pretty much everything that's going on around me, where everyone and everything is, and notice many small details without even thinking about it that others would readily pass by. (i.e. I'll pass by an area quickly and somehow notice something very minute that I'm not even remotely looking at or expecting to be there.)

[StoryOfMyLife]

Eh, not necessarily. I'm definitely very intuitive, but I'm also always aware of pretty much everything that's going on around me, where everyone and everything is, and notice many small details without even thinking about it that others would readily pass by. (i.e. I'll pass by an area quickly and somehow notice something very minute that I'm not even remotely looking at or expecting to be there.)


I'm not so sure about being a sensotard is cool... but I guess I can live with it..

To SH-- yeah, I have moments like that as well. Though I sometimes have a difficult time finding what another person is pointing at when it is in clear, plain sight. When I finally do notice or see it, I feel rather...awkwardly stupid *lol* At least I can learn to laugh at myself about it, though.

[IDK123]

I'm not so sure about being a sensotard is cool... but I guess I can live with it..

To SH-- yeah, I have moments like that as well. Though I sometimes have a difficult time finding what another person is pointing at when it is in clear, plain sight. When I finally do notice or see it, I feel rather...awkwardly stupid *lol* At least I can learn to laugh at myself about it, though.

haha, I can relate. I can remember sensory information like historical facts, birthdays, homework, what people like (I have a much better memory than my ESFJ dad) but for things right in front of me, my surroundings or directions, I'm really bad.