PDA

View Full Version : Child who thinks everything is funny.



Lily flower
08-11-2011, 09:32 AM
Our youngest child thinks everything is funny. If he misbehaves, he laughs. If he is in trouble, he laughs. We all find it really, really irritating. My question is - if you were this type of child, what kind of response do you think is appropriate? Do we ignore it, discipline it? Is it a nervous reaction or is it him being disrespectful?

I think he is SP, probably ISTP or ISFP, and he has two NF parents.

Valiant
08-11-2011, 09:37 AM
Maybe you are cute when you are angry. *shrug* (:D)

Amargith
08-11-2011, 09:37 AM
Grin. SP children are notoriously hard to punish, in my limited experience. I'd say, don't get bothered by it. Have a look at what he enjoys most though and what motivates him. Then use that as a carrot and stick. Above all, *show* him which actions have which consequences and *why* something isn't done (because it has a bad consequence *for him*). SP's tend to have to bang their head against that wall repeatedly, to expereince stuff for themselves..and no amount of authority is going to keep them from not banging their head against that wall, from what I've seen. I have two ISTP nephews :laugh: One of them is a holy terror on his brothers and gets in trouble with his parents all the time (and he does *not* like being restricted in his adventures like that), the other bumps his head against something that would send most kids into a hysteric crying frenzy, and he just goes 'ouch. *giggle*' and moves on. He's really easy that way, but a holy terror to teach not to hurt his ExFx sister by swinging things at her, as he finds her response to be rather amusing and puzzling (must push that button again!). And him getting in trouble for that? Oh well, that's part of the price you pay for that type of research :laugh:

I *have* found that whenever possible, offering them an alternative route to investigate what they want to get to, and explaining to them logically why this route is likely to get them in trouble and laughed at (with a smirk) makes them reconsider for a moment. They might still decide to get in trouble, and you do have to follow up on discipline then, but often they'll choose the route you explained to them. And they also need that. I often see my nephew being restricted in what he wants to achieve coz of the way he goes about it, but it only frustrates him as he doesn't get to practice his skills that way. Giving him a way out of that, and allowing him to fully explore what he's capable of, tends to make him happy and less likely to go pester his brothers coz he's bored. Similarly, I've found ISTPs are capable of great sibling love (he'll kill anyone who touches his brothers and aint him and shares everything with them), so it's something you can foster in them, it's just something that takes a backseat to an interesting experience, which is where the redirection comes in.

Just my two cents.

Marmotini
08-11-2011, 09:43 AM
Depends on whether he is laughing like nothing bothers him, in which case you just need to be more firm with him, because he may just be testing limits, and that needs to be met with appropriate limits.

On the other hand, nervous laughter is something else entirely. Like when he laughs does he keep doing the thing you told him not to do? Or is he just kind of laughing but still obeying your command to cease and desist? I think that's a very important distinction.

I've never had a problem in the past with having the laughing sort of child behave, whether they were three or eight. You just have to let them know that you. are. serious.

Hazashin
08-11-2011, 10:04 AM
Our youngest child thinks everything is funny. If he misbehaves, he laughs. If he is in trouble, he laughs. We all find it really, really irritating. My question is - if you were this type of child, what kind of response do you think is appropriate? Do we ignore it, discipline it? Is it a nervous reaction or is it him being disrespectful?

I think he is SP, probably ISTP or ISFP, and he has two NF parents.

I know this doesn't have anything to do with the thread, but when I saw the first part of the title in the forum lobby 'Child who thinks everything...', I immediately thought of this kid I know who thinks everything is out to get him. He doesn't understand how anything he does is bad. It's so pathological to the point where when he does do something bad and an adult confronts him about it, he lies and believes that it wasn't his fault. He has a severe victim complex.

Does anyone have any idea what his type may be?

CzeCze
08-11-2011, 10:05 AM
What's wrong with perpetual laughter? Children are supposed to find joy and humor and wonder in everything. You know who else "laughs at everything?" The Dalai Lama. And supposedly Buddha. Have you not seen numerous reproductions of his jolly fat belly and his peaceful laughing countenance?

Seriously though, before you interpret the laughter as outright insubordination or lack of understanding about actions or something that is an insult or challenge directed at you and your partner - take a second like Marm said to evaluate what the laughter actually is, where it is coming from, and who it is directed, if anyone.

Honestly, kids will have their joy and laughter beaten out of them soon enough by life and other people, I'm totally projecting but thinking as an ENFP who used to be a very happy, smiling, laughing child that your child would be better served as a person and also appreciate it more (both now and later in life) if you tried to preserve that connection to joy and wonder if that is indeed where the laughter is coming from.

Then again, I am probably more hands off than other people and I do not have children of my own.

Having looked after children though, and in particular one special needs child who had learning and behavioral problems - she ALWAYS laughed. Laughed and cried. But mostly laughed. Her speech developed at a much slower rate than her peers and she may have had hearing problems as well (parents were unsure at the time), I was never sure exactly what she was saying - I don't think anyone did 100% of the time. She mostly danced and vocalized to express herself. But she and I got along well. When she would do something bad - throw dominoes at people, take things, mess up papers on a desk - everyone in her family was sure she knew on some level that it was 'bad'. And when she was scolded she would laugh and sometimes run away. Sometimes if she was punished she would start out laughing and laughing then start crying then eventually start laughing again.

In that case ^^ I don't think her laughter per sae had anything directly to do with her behavioral issues, as in, laughing less would not make her listen better or follow directions better.

Basically, the root of laughter is so different in children and unless it is hurtful or mean or distressed or manipulative laughter, I dunno, I'm kinda of the mindset to let it be. To me laughter = joy/wonder/gratitude and those are really GOOD things that you want your children to have. How old is your child, as well? Some kids just aren't at the age to comprehend that they are being 'disrespectful' or 'bad' by laughing. I was imagining from your OP that your child is no older than 7 and more toddler aged? If we're talking 13, whoa I have a different answer for you!

Sorry if that answer was way too hippie and not enough practical for you. :P

Elfboy
08-11-2011, 10:08 AM
Our youngest child thinks everything is funny. If he misbehaves, he laughs. If he is in trouble, he laughs. We all find it really, really irritating. My question is - if you were this type of child, what kind of response do you think is appropriate? Do we ignore it, discipline it? Is it a nervous reaction or is it him being disrespectful?
I think he is SP, probably ISTP or ISFP, and he has two NF parents.

well, one would need more information to type him accurately, but so far I agree with Vala Faye. he seems to be a naturally light hearted, positive child who lacks an understanding of any kind of seriousness, so the the best thing you can to is to remove a positive stimulus rather than add a negative one which he will not interpret correctly

Little_Sticks
08-12-2011, 07:02 AM
Our youngest child thinks everything is funny. If he misbehaves, he laughs. If he is in trouble, he laughs. We all find it really, really irritating. My question is - if you were this type of child, what kind of response do you think is appropriate? Do we ignore it, discipline it? Is it a nervous reaction or is it him being disrespectful?


That's kind of fucked up that you're not sure if punishment is supposed to control behavior and emotions or just deter actions. Controlling behavior and emotions just because they irritate you is just bullying him and justifying it as punishment when it's not.

Marmotini
08-12-2011, 07:03 AM
That's kind of fucked up that you're not sure if punishment is supposed to control behavior and emotions or just deter actions. Controlling behavior and emotions just because they irritate you is just bullying him and justifying it as punishment when it's not.

Laughing at your parents when they're correcting you is disrespectful and defiant.

What is fucked up is a parent who can't even control their child.

CrystalViolet
08-12-2011, 07:42 AM
My boss has the same problem with his boy. It's not from lack of discipline, but my boss does have a real gooey center for his kids, in spite of his ornery appearance. His kids are actually really well behaved....but the boy is a handful, LOL. It depends on how old your son is, I would think. I think with my bosses son, he hasn't worked out he's suppose to be appropriately contrite. He's about five I think. He's very thoughtful though, so I think eventually he'll work it out. He seems the sort of kid who's good natured enough, and would be surprised he was doing some thing wrong. Full of energy though...but gets overwhelmed at the flick of switch, so he does throw temper tantrums. You how kids get when they are exhausted. Even real placcid kids go nuclear at that point. He's super curious, and likes working out how things work. If your kid is bound has Te tendency, he might not be too quick on the emotional uptake. So long as he doesn't keep doing naughty stuff, it's a good thing he brushes things off more easily....remember NF's take things to heart, and we're more sensitive. An SP definitely will almost disrespectful compared with that. Doesn't mean he is, if you are using you and your partner as a gauge.

andante
08-12-2011, 07:45 AM
Why not ask him why he's laughing during a time where he's not being disciplined? Depending on his response, you can respond accordingly.

Most children aren't very complicated.

Elfboy
08-12-2011, 08:12 AM
Laughing at your parents when they're correcting you is disrespectful and defiant.

What is fucked up is a parent who can't even control their child.

the job of a parent is not to control the child. it's not healthy for anyone to have their behavior controlled constantly. the job of the parent is to teach the child how to survive, take care of themselves, educate them and learn basic people skills.

ReflecTcelfeR
08-12-2011, 08:17 AM
Obviously the child is possessed. The laughter is meant to haunt your dreams.

I think almost everything is funny! I laugh at ABSOLUTELY nothing. I just find it all so fascinating. I wouldn't assume disrespect. I would assume nervousness... Though it depends on how old the child is, because if they're old enough to know what not to do, then we see disrespect, if he doesn't he might assume it's still cute. Weird transition phases are weird.

Marmotini
08-12-2011, 08:29 AM
the job of a parent is not to control the child. it's not healthy for anyone to have their behavior controlled constantly. the job of the parent is to teach the child how to survive, take care of themselves, educate them and learn basic people skills.

The job of the parent is to keep the child from being a nuisance and a burden to other people i.e. "socializing" the child as well assuring that the child is respectful of their parent, because a child who hasn't been properly disciplined when very young can become absolutely monstrous with age. I'm not saying this is the case with Lily Flower, I'm just saying in general.

I've been around children my whole life - I'm talking extensive baby-sitting more than one child at a time, various children, plus tons of kids in my family, and some student teaching and I even taught Sunday school for a while. "Don't do that now Johnny" as Johnny sets fire to the neighbor's cat is a bunch of bullshit. I do not approve.

It's important to find out if Lily Flower's son is laughing nervously or defiantly. That makes all the difference in the world.

My ISTJ was making fun of NF parents tonight for this reason, for the way some of you are responding to this thread. Of course, most of you who are saying these silly things don't even have kids.

Elfboy
08-12-2011, 08:33 AM
The job of the parent is to keep the child from being a nuisance and a burden to other people i.e. "socializing" the child as well assuring that the child is respectful of their parent, because a child who hasn't been properly disciplined when very young can become absolutely monstrous with age. I'm not saying this is the case with Lily Flower, I'm just saying in general.

I've been around children my whole life - I'm talking extensive baby-sitting more than one child at a time, various children, plus tons of kids in my family, and some student teaching and I even taught Sunday school for a while. "Don't do that now Johnny" as Johnny sets fire to the neighbor's cat is a bunch of bullshit. I do not approve.

It's important to find out if Lily Flower's son is laughing nervously or defiantly. That makes all the difference in the world.

My ISTJ was making fun of NF parents tonight for this reason, for the way some of you are responding to this thread. Of course, most of you who are saying these silly things don't even have kids.

it seems like we agree. I just got the wrong impression when you used the word "control". I don't think most parents today discipline their children anywhere near the right amount (either not at all, as you've stated or taken the other extreme and being controlling, overtly domineering and mercilessly punitive)

Lily flower
08-12-2011, 10:40 AM
The reason I want to know if it's disrespect or nervousness is that it requires a completely different response. If he's just laughing because he is nervous, then I am not going to make an issue out of it, other than to teach him that people in his life (like teachers) are not going to take well to him laughing. When I was a child I used to laugh when people got hurt. It was completely a nervous reaction and I got yelled at a couple of times for being mean, when really I just have such a strong empathy reaction and the laughter relieved stress.

If he's being disrespectful, however, it requires a completely different response. That much disrespect can cause serious consequences as he gets older. I don't have any need to control my children, but I am trying to teach them to be decent people who treat others well and know how to behave out in society.

Redbone
08-12-2011, 07:43 PM
Lily flower, how old is your little guy? Does he still do what he is told even though he laughs about it?

uncommonentity
08-16-2011, 05:51 PM
You should be glad he's laughing and not cutting his wrists in the corner listening to modest mouse. Give him a pat on the back.