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Amargith
06-04-2011, 02:03 PM
Blatantly stealing Elfboys idea on this. I'd like people to specify if they're sx-so or sx-sp (and perhaps their full enneagram) to keep track of the nuances. Could be interesting :smile:

So, for this 4w5 sx-so:

You're sx-dom:

...when people keep telling you to stop being so intense
...when people react with bewilderment at your interest level in them
...when all you wanna do is experience life intensely before your time comes


You're sx-so when (and sp-tarded!):

...when you haven't even thought about whether or not it'll rain, be cold, if you have to bring drinks or not and are daydreaming about who you're going to meet and what you're going to be experiencing.

...when money is so uninteresting, it's no even funny as it's a fucking necessity in this society


:peepwall:

Your turn.

Samsara
06-04-2011, 02:26 PM
7w? Sx/So - Just what i've noticed.

When you attract some really interesting people in your life but also some fucking nut cases .. Do i have an invisible neo sign above my head saying come talk to me.

Not only do you embody an idea .. You become the idea.

You crave the intensity but still want that inner calm .. Bloody balancing act.

Amargith
06-04-2011, 02:29 PM
7w? Sx/So - Just what i've noticed.

When you attract some really interesting people in your life but also some fucking nut cases .. Do i have an invisible neo sign above my head saying come talk to me.

Not only do you embody an idea .. You become the idea.

You crave the intensity but still want that inner calm .. Bloody balancing act.

Preach it, sista! :nice:

DiscoBiscuit
06-04-2011, 02:33 PM
There may be many cheap thrills out there, but the only two that really do it for you anymore are danger and getting your toe curl on in the bedroom.

Speed Gavroche
06-04-2011, 02:36 PM
Blatantly stealing Elfboys idea on this. I'd like people to specify if they're sx-so or sx-sp (and perhaps their full enneagram) to keep track of the nuances. Could be interesting :smile:

So, for this 4w5 sx-so:

You're sx-dom:

...when people keep telling you to stop being so intense
...when people react with bewilderment at your interest level in them
...when all you wanna do is experience life intensely before your time comes


You're sx-so when (and sp-tarded!):

...when you haven't even thought about whether or not it'll rain, be cold, if you have to bring drinks or not and are daydreaming about who you're going to meet and what you're going to be experiencing.

...when money is so uninteresting, it's no even funny as it's a fucking necessity in this society


:peepwall:

Your turn.


When you attract some really interesting people in your life but also some fucking nut cases .. Do i have an invisible neo sign above my head saying come talk to me.

Not only do you embody an idea .. You become the idea.

You crave the intensity but still want that inner calm .. Bloody balancing act.

All that is so true. That's incredible!!

skylights
06-04-2011, 02:36 PM
the day is not complete until you've scared yourself at least once. :devil:

DiscoBiscuit
06-04-2011, 02:46 PM
Maverick was definitely an sx!

http://www.crazyaviation.com/images/Top_Gun_in_Hollywood.jpg

The_World_As_Will
06-04-2011, 03:55 PM
SX/SO 5w4 - 9w1- 4w3

You know when you're an sx-dom when....

When you're so lost in your head or in a interesting conversation with someone you forget you have this nuisance of a fleshy thing called a body

when you try to get everyone you know enthuasitc about an idea or something that's going on in the world that you really think matters, and they look at you as if you're crazy and you feel disappoint : (


When you think the idea of money is so antithetical to experiencing life, and you can never understand why people are so wound up about it Life> piece of tree!

andante
06-04-2011, 04:03 PM
8w7 sx/sp

You know you're an sx dom when your mind automatically corrupts innocent expressions.

wolfy
06-04-2011, 04:06 PM
You know you're an sx dom when you think the sp dom thread sucks.

Speed Gavroche
06-04-2011, 04:19 PM
You you are Sx when a horny or naughty expression cannot be unoticed by you radar.

Sx/So:

You create riot and hystery, without really trying.
A provocative position and a stimulating posiion are the same thing for you
You could'nt be bland or normal, even if you tried to
You are unable to be "average", you are great or you suck but nothing in the middle
You have a hard time to understand why girls like to be invited to restaurant, you eat because you are supposed to eat, but just that.
Death is a part of life, it is the only sure thing in the world, so you don't worry about this, only about what happen before, you assume that life is a care launched against a wall, and you push on the accelerator.
While most people tend to make effort to be prepared when they worry, the most you are worrying, the lesat you are prepared, against wether, food, problems of money.
You assume that being homeless is just the most natural way for human being, so, that's not so bad.

Samsara
06-04-2011, 04:37 PM
Can everyone else turn a random sentence into sexual innuendo? Then chuckle to oneself without giving the other person any indication as to why you are laughing .. Or is that just me? Lol


SX/SO 5w4 - 9w1- 4w3

You know when you're an sx-dom when....

when you try to get everyone you know enthuasitc about an idea or something that's going on in the world that you really think matters, and they look at you as if you're crazy and you feel disappoint : (

When you think the idea of money is so antithetical to experiencing life, and you can never understand why people are so wound up about it Life> piece of tree!

YES. YES. YES.
Although people think i'm crazy/weird/strange, i don't feel disappointed. Embrace my unique take on life. DAMN IT.

Money *sigh* Great at making it, even better at saving it, too focused on the future to spend it, lol.


You you are Sx when a horny or naughty expression cannot be unoticed by you radar.

Sx/So:

You create riot and hystery, without really trying.
A provocative position and a stimulating posiion are the same thing for you
You could'nt be bland or normal, even if you tried to
You are unable to be "average", you are great or you suck but nothing in the middle
You have a hard time to understand why girls like to be invited to restaurant, you eat because you are supposed to eat, but just that.
Death is a part of life, it is the only sure thing in the world, so you don't worry about this, only about what happen before, you assume that life is a care launched against a wall, and you push on the accelerator.
While most people tend to make effort to be prepared when they worry, the most you are worrying, the lesat you are prepared, against wether, food, problems of money.
You assume that being homeless is just the most natural way for human being, so, that's not so bad.

Hallelujah :D

themarlins
06-04-2011, 05:50 PM
You know you're an sx dom when you think the sp dom thread sucks.

LOL! and true.

Jaguar
06-04-2011, 08:35 PM
Maverick was definitely an sx!

http://www.crazyaviation.com/images/Top_Gun_in_Hollywood.jpg

That's something I would do, hanging upside down. Gotta have that middle finger salute. :D

Ginkgo
06-04-2011, 09:16 PM
When people think you could be a talk show host because you barrage them with questions about themselves.
When you drill a hole to China reading in to the most commonplace interactions with people.
When people who don't know what "auras" are tell you you look electrically charged.

Speed Gavroche
06-04-2011, 09:41 PM
When people think you could be a talk show host because you barrage them with questions about themselves.

Yes. But strangely, most part of famous talk show host are Sx-last.

MDP2525
06-04-2011, 09:53 PM
6w5 sx/sp

When you are totally into someone the first time you meet them, platonically or otherwise, the next time you see them you don't even need or want to say hello.

Elfboy
06-04-2011, 09:54 PM
Yes. But strangely, most part of famous talk show host are Sx-last.

I think that's because American culture generally is pretty so/sp as opposed to europe which is clearly sx dom in most places (at least spain france and italy. english culture seems more sp)

Elfboy
06-04-2011, 10:00 PM
You you are Sx when a horny or naughty expression cannot be unoticed by you radar.

Sx/So:

You create riot and hystery, without really trying.
A provocative position and a stimulating posiion are the same thing for you
You could'nt be bland or normal, even if you tried to
You are unable to be "average", you are great or you suck but nothing in the middle

that's just called being a bad ass



You have a hard time to understand why girls like to be invited to restaurant, you eat because you are supposed to eat, but just that.
Death is a part of life, it is the only sure thing in the world, so you don't worry about this, only about what happen before, you assume that life is a care launched against a wall, and you push on the accelerator.
While most people tend to make effort to be prepared when they worry, the most you are worrying, the lesat you are prepared, against wether, food, problems of money.
You assume that being homeless is just the most natural way for human being, so, that's not so bad.

I'm not sure how this is possible for anyone, but I guess that's why I'm not sx/so

Elfboy
06-04-2011, 10:12 PM
You know you're an sx dom when you think the sp dom thread sucks.

without the sp thread, this one wouldn't have been made :yes:

bionic
06-04-2011, 11:29 PM
When you want to talk to someone for hours on end but you realize that after 10 minutes your lunchbreak is over. :(

Samsara
06-05-2011, 12:06 AM
6w5 sx/sp

When you are totally into someone the first time you meet them, platonically or otherwise, the next time you see them you don't even need or want to say hello.

I am so glad i'm not the only one who thinks this :blush:


When you want to talk to someone for hours on end but you realize that after 10 minutes your lunchbreak is over. :(

But i work so hard, lol.

DiscoBiscuit
06-05-2011, 11:28 AM
Some of the lowest flyby's ever caught on film.

Lowest Flyby's

Craziest jumps ever.

Insane jumps

brainheart
06-05-2011, 02:51 PM
Minus the jumping out of planes thing, I'm there.
If this thread is accurate, seals it for me.

Sx/sp, I guess, although I hate practicalities. Money, having to eat, etc... So annoying. But I def have limited energy.

brainheart
06-05-2011, 08:39 PM
... This song totally has it right.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbRD-cxiAOI

Rail Tracer
06-05-2011, 09:05 PM
You're sx-so when (and sp-tarded!):

...when you haven't even thought about whether or not it'll rain, be cold, if you have to bring drinks or not and are daydreaming about who you're going to meet and what you're going to be experiencing.

...when money is so uninteresting, it's no even funny as it's a fucking necessity in this society


:peepwall:

Your turn.

Hahahahahaha. Funny, but true.

Hopelandic
06-06-2011, 08:48 AM
There may be many cheap thrills out there, but the only two that really do it for you anymore are danger and getting your toe curl on in the bedroom.

Or both at the same time....

Amargith
06-06-2011, 09:32 AM
Anyone else find it hot in here? *fans self*

InvisibleJim
06-06-2011, 10:57 AM
When socialites loath your uncompromising and honest opinions on what matters to you.

Ginkgo
06-06-2011, 11:06 AM
Some of the lowest flyby's ever caught on film.

Lowest Flyby's



#1 was a sonic boom? Sick!

Elfboy
06-06-2011, 11:20 AM
When socialites loath your uncompromising and honest opinions on what matters to you.


actually, lots of members of high society would be quite refreshed by your honesty (especially the INTJ frank, polite objective kind of honesty). the people you're talking about are more specifically those who made their wealth through social connections and appearence. their loathing is a combination of envy and fear. it's usually poorer subcultures that require a more silver tongue as they're more likely to react strongly. self made rich people are just the opposite. they value genuine people with whom they can have an honest conversation.

is this behavior exclusively sx first? I'll have to reconsider sx/sp if it is (although I think it's mostly Fi/Te)

PS: I think you're an 8 or a 1. I don't see much 5-ishness in you and there is absolutely nothing 6-ish about you

DiscoBiscuit
06-06-2011, 11:24 AM
#1 was a sonic boom? Sick!

My personal favorite is #3 where it flies over about 5 feet over the guys head. Here are a few more!

Sonic boom

And another

If you really want to raise the hair on the back of your neck, watch this close shave wingsuit flyby in Norway.

Wingsuit flyby

brainheart
06-06-2011, 02:48 PM
The rest of the world disappears when you're interacting with someone with whom you feel a 'connection'.

If you're out to eat with this person, you forget to eat.

If you're with a group of people, you forget to talk to anyone else, and you don't hear their conversations.

Amargith
06-06-2011, 02:49 PM
The rest of the world disappears when you're interacting with someone with whom you feel a 'connection'.

If you're out to eat with this person, you forget to eat.

If you're with a group of people, you forget to talk to anyone else, and you don't hear their conversations.

:nice:

It's intoxicating and frustratingly impractical but oh so good...

DiscoBiscuit
06-06-2011, 02:51 PM
^ It's kind of like falling into another person.

Amargith
06-06-2011, 02:52 PM
If only you could stay there :)

InvisibleJim
06-06-2011, 03:51 PM
actually, lots of members of high society would be quite refreshed by your honesty (especially the INTJ frank, polite objective kind of honesty). the people you're talking about are more specifically those who made their wealth through social connections and appearence. their loathing is a combination of envy and fear. it's usually poorer subcultures that require a more silver tongue as they're more likely to react strongly. self made rich people are just the opposite. they value genuine people with whom they can have an honest conversation.

is this behavior exclusively sx first? I'll have to reconsider sx/sp if it is (although I think it's mostly Fi/Te)

PS: I think you're an 8 or a 1. I don't see much 5-ishness in you and there is absolutely nothing 6-ish about you

That's correct. But don't tell team pettiness; you'll have them breathing down my neck in no time.

violaine
06-06-2011, 03:56 PM
4w5 sx/sp. I identify strongly with the descriptions found here (http://www.ocean-moonshine.net/e142857369):


sx/sp
This is perhaps the most internally conflicted of the stackings, and potentially the most inconsistent in behavior. This may occur as a blockage of the sexual instinct which can be redirected as a more generally brooding and troubled personality. They may isolate themselves for long periods of time before reemerging. They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern. They seem to be searching for something, the missing piece. If they find a soulmate they will unite without fanfare, forming a secret bond, dealing with formalities as an afterthought. Powerful sexual impulses facing inner resistance may manifest symbolically in the psyche, giving way to soulful interpretations of the unconscious. Under periods of stress severe sexual tensions may manifest as erratic, impulsively destructive behavior. Can seem restless, torn between the comforts of a stable home life and the urge to wander. May be prone to self-medicating.



Type 4, sx/sp
This is a very volatile type. They are driven to form connections but have very high demands of their partners. When their powerful fantasies don’t match reality, they become very restless. They take the fire and passion of the sexual instinct and turn it inward. This can cause both brooding and fiery outbursts. Dramatic mood swings are very likely with this type. This subtype of Four could be considered the most classic Four, because of the way they seem to embody the archetype of the tortured artist, although not all Fours of this subtype are artists. Stereotype aside, this subtype does tend to bring their emotions into focus more readily then the other subtypes of Four. What is under the surface with the self-pres/sexual is now bubbling to the surface. This subtype can resemble type Seven because of their drama, passion for experience and tendency to suffer from frustration when life seems dull. Like type Seven, they can seem to throw themselves into experience.

When healthy, this subtype learns to balance the need for passion with the less obvious need for groundedness which can come from solid and focused relationships with others and with their creative outlets.


I have really struggled in the past with what I call "should I stay or should I go?" But noone would ever really know, it just appears as brooding and then going elsewhere for a while because I do feel a heavy responsibility to not upset other's peace due to my internal conflict. I try not to be demanding but am very particular about the quality of connection between myself and a partner. Fortunately, I have creative outlets and had a very stable upbringing. Seems to dampen some of those bouts of needing everything to be interesting. Nothing can save an unsatisfactory connection though.

violaine
06-07-2011, 05:53 AM
- When mediocrity, esp of feeling, is scary.

Marmotini
06-07-2011, 05:54 AM
- When you like something or someone YOU REALLY REALLY LIKE IT.

- You're relieved that the person you're currently focused on wasn't scared away by the intensity and honesty of what you said last night.

Amargith
06-07-2011, 08:57 AM
:devil:

Here's a question for sx-so's vs sx-sp's. Could it be that sx-sp's are blunt and direct with people and are perceived as an 'intensity attack' whereas sx-so's often feel frustrated, but will put in the effort of 'cushioning' their full frontal intensity attack to try and ease people into it?

What say you, my intense horde of lovelies?

Speed Gavroche
06-07-2011, 12:44 PM
I think that's because American culture generally is pretty so/sp as opposed to europe which is clearly sx dom in most places (at least spain france and italy. english culture seems more sp)

In America So and Sp are currents. Sx are rares.

Same in Europe, to say that Europe is clearly Sx-dom is purely stupid.


that's just called being a bad ass

No, because badass people of other subtypes don't do that.

Amargith
06-07-2011, 01:27 PM
so and sp is also more 'useful' I'd wager.

brainheart
06-07-2011, 01:45 PM
:devil:

Here's a question for sx-so's vs sx-sp's. Could it be that sx-sp's are blunt and direct with people and are perceived as an 'intensity attack' whereas sx-so's often feel frustrated, but will put in the effort of 'cushioning' their full frontal intensity attack to try and ease people into it?

What say you, my intense horde of lovelies?

I thought sx/sos were the intensity attack... ?

HelenOfTroy
06-07-2011, 01:46 PM
Oh apparently i'm sx-sp... i'm sure i was sx-so.... i must be growing up
*shrieks*

InvisibleJim
06-07-2011, 01:49 PM
Oh apparently i'm sx-sp... i'm sure i was sx-so.... i must be growing up
*shrieks*

Copycat.

DiscoBiscuit
06-07-2011, 01:53 PM
I think I may be Sx/Sp

Elfboy
06-07-2011, 01:54 PM
In America So and Sp are currents. Sx are rares.

Same in Europe, to say that Europe is clearly Sx-dom is purely stupid.



No, because badass people of other subtypes don't do that.

I'm sp/sx and I definitely do all that stuff. I've been told on several occasions that I should be a cult leader or a revolutionary

HelenOfTroy
06-07-2011, 01:55 PM
Copycat.
I just searched the thread right back to the op to find where you stated you were growing up (or a cat)...imagine my dissapointment.

InvisibleJim
06-07-2011, 01:56 PM
I just searched the thread right back to the op to find where you stated you were growing up (or a cat)...imagine my dissapointment.

And how!

HelenOfTroy
06-07-2011, 02:00 PM
And how!

I used magic buttons.

Speed Gavroche
06-07-2011, 04:28 PM
You know you are Sx-dom when you love that song:

that's Sx!

brainheart
06-07-2011, 04:33 PM
- When you like something or someone YOU REALLY REALLY LIKE IT.

- You're relieved that the person you're currently focused on wasn't scared away by the intensity and honesty of what you said last night.

My my yes. Conversely, when you hate something or someone, you really really hate it. Although I wouldn't say hate (i am a 9, after all) more like repulsed. Things or people attract me or repulse me and I am immediately aware which is which. I try to not be judgmental in that fashion, but if there's something repellant, there's no changing it.

The fear of losing favor with your infatuation or confessor... The most terrifying thing for me.

You know you are when seeking intimacy is the number one driving force in your life....

Elfboy
06-07-2011, 10:43 PM
You know you are Sx-dom when you love that song:

that's Sx!

once again, people like this song because it's bad ass. I'm gay (and by extention don't care about vaginas at all) but I love that song :laugh:

the state i am in
06-09-2011, 12:49 AM
when you assume because you want it it's how things should be, and when you can't let go of things you want fast enough and as a result end up not handling disappointment too well

skylights
06-09-2011, 01:01 AM
^ so true :dont:

skylights
06-09-2011, 05:59 PM
:thinking:

well, i was just reading through the WHOLE thread, and i'm pretty sure i'm sx-dom because it makes sense in terms of little oddities in my life that aren't explained well by my enneatype, but i don't resonate with a lot of these. maybe i'm just weird (well okay, i'm definitely weird), or my etype interferes, or my environmnent, or the way i was raised, i dunno. or i guess i could really be so/sx instead.

do you guys relate strongly to almost all of what everyone's said, or do you feel a lot of individual variation as well?

case study on skylights --

does not fit:

...when people keep telling you to stop being so intense (only when i am angry, i burn like 950°)
...when you haven't even thought about whether or not it'll rain, be cold, if you have to bring drinks or not and are daydreaming about who you're going to meet and what you're going to be experiencing. (true about daydreaming... but i'm either really on top of drinks/food/clothes etc. or really not)
...when money is so uninteresting, it's no even funny as it's a fucking necessity in this society (um. i like money)
...When you think the idea of money is so antithetical to experiencing life, and you can never understand why people are so wound up about it Life> piece of tree! (cause money buys opportunity!)
...You create riot and hystery, without really trying. (noooo)
...A provocative position and a stimulating posiion are the same thing for you (noooo do not like)
...You have a hard time to understand why girls like to be invited to restaurant, you eat because you are supposed to eat, but just that. (LOVE fancy restaurant ambiance)
...When people think you could be a talk show host because you barrage them with questions about themselves. (i am questioning... yes... no barrage though)
...When socialites loath your uncompromising and honest opinions on what matters to you. (huh?)
...Conversely, when you hate something or someone, you really really hate it. Although I wouldn't say hate (i am a 9, after all) more like repulsed. (repulsed maybe... hate occasionally but not often)

i guess basically i'm just not very controversy-provoking, and i'm not totally sp-unaware. my dad's an sp 6 posterchild though, so that may explain that.

Speed Gavroche
06-09-2011, 06:10 PM
I like money too.

Nomenclature
06-13-2011, 12:34 AM
When you start telling a stranger in a bar your secrets. Just because you're bored.
SX/SO: What is a secret? When I get really excited about an idea or pissed about something, EVERYBODY has to know.


You you are Sx when a horny or naughty expression cannot be unnoticed by your radar.
SX/SO: You assume that being homeless is just the most natural way for human being, so, that's not so bad.
Everyone I know makes me out to be a nympho or reckless social butterfly. >:
I related to everything in the post, but the second one really hit the nail on the head. Everyone thinks I'm crazy for wanting to run away from home and then doing one of the following:

a.) living in a tent
b.) sleeping in a car
c.) moving in with a close friend
d.) joining the Peace Corps

Really, I'm out and about enough for my room to be nothing more than a storage closet and a place to sleep. I don't know what the words "sanctuary" and "home" mean... it wouldn't bother me any to leave all my material crap behind and work with people in an obscure and impoverished area overseas. Living expenses are paid, and as long as I have that and can maintain communication with people, I'm content.


If you're out to eat with this person, you forget to eat.
LOL seriously. I'm the kind of person who puts a food item down and then forgets about it. It goes as far as setting down a Popsicle still in its wrapper (COUGH COUGH that's what she said) and afterward not remembering where the puddle of colored sugar water came from.

brainheart
06-13-2011, 01:38 AM
When you start telling a stranger in a bar your secrets. Just because you're bored.
SX/SO: What is a secret? When I get really excited about an idea or pissed about something, EVERYBODY has to know.


Everyone I know makes me out to be a nympho or reckless social butterfly. >:
I related to everything in the post, but the second one really hit the nail on the head. Everyone thinks I'm crazy for wanting to run away from home and then doing one of the following:

a.) living in a tent
b.) sleeping in a car
c.) moving in with a close friend
d.) joining the Peace Corps

Really, I'm out and about enough for my room to be nothing more than a storage closet and a place to sleep. I don't know what the words "sanctuary" and "home" mean... it wouldn't bother me any to leave all my material crap behind and work with people in an obscure and impoverished area overseas. Living expenses are paid, and as long as I have that and can maintain communication with people, I'm content.

I hate most material crap too, but I have ideal places I want to live, usually it involves trees or boats or paris or all. I like looking at photos of cool home settings I'd like to be, aesthetically pleasing simplicity, you know, me and my typewriter and a cool desk overlooking the seine. I want to maintain my alone time and that with intimates, those I just met and those I've known for awhile. I get crazy wanderlust and I've got sx and sp going on in some order.

Marmotini
06-13-2011, 01:59 AM
I think it's the sp last people who don't care about material things.

They have never known the joy of pulling a wad of cash out of your garter and counting it repeatedly.

Marmotini
06-13-2011, 02:02 AM
The fear of losing favor with your infatuation or confessor... The most terrifying thing for me.

You know you are when seeking intimacy is the number one driving force in your life....

Yes, this pretty much is the definition of the way I am.

brainheart
06-13-2011, 02:16 AM
Yes, this pretty much is the definition of the way I am.

And at this time I am avoiding intimacy (cause it's gotten me in trouble) so my life motivation is being majorly restrained. Hence baring my soul on typoc.

Nomenclature
06-13-2011, 02:27 AM
I hate most material crap too, but I have ideal places I want to live, usually it involves trees or boats or paris or all. I like looking at photos of cool home settings I'd like to be, aesthetically pleasing simplicity, you know, me and my typewriter and a cool desk overlooking the seine. I want to maintain my alone time and that with intimates, those I just met and those I've known for awhile. I get crazy wanderlust and I've got sx and sp going on in some order.

God, I want to live in IKEA. But for the sake of feasibility, I want to move to Portland, Ann Arbor, or Chicago when I'm older. Just any area where I don't need a car to get around and there's a party every night.

Hmmm... when you don't remember the last time you didn't have an infatuation or confessor, period.

skylights
06-13-2011, 05:09 AM
I think it's the sp last people who don't care about material things.

They have never known the joy of pulling a wad of cash out of your garter and counting it repeatedly.

that's what you think. :whistling:

Marmotini
06-13-2011, 05:16 AM
that's what you think. :whistling:

I've just heard sp last say things like Vala says, like the material world doesn't matter and I just don't relate.

I like good food. I like being in casinos. I like nice places. I like luxury. I've always been toward between my need for beauty and sophistication (which often costs money) and my need to help other people.

I have pretty strong convictions about hating greed, because I fucking hate greed, but I do like things. I like nice things. I like the feeling of money in my hand.

Rail Tracer
06-13-2011, 07:42 AM
I've just heard sp last say things like Vala says, like the material world doesn't matter and I just don't relate.

I like good food. I like being in casinos. I like nice places. I like luxury. I've always been toward between my need for beauty and sophistication (which often costs money) and my need to help other people.

I have pretty strong convictions about hating greed, because I fucking hate greed, but I do like things. I like nice things. I like the feeling of money in my hand.

Money, an evil necessity. Too bad to get anywhere in this world, you need money.

My stance is work to live, not live too work. Too bad my stance ain't the American way.

I don't take pleasure in counting money.

Marmotini
06-13-2011, 08:13 AM
Money, an evil necessity. Too bad to get anywhere in this world, you need money.

My stance is work to live, not live too work. Too bad my stance ain't the American way.

I don't take pleasure in counting money.

I don't live to work, far from it. I've either been an independent contractor or freelance for most of my life, in between crappy low-wage jobs to make ends meet.

I take pleasure in counting money because I know what it's like to be poor.

I've noticed a lot of people who are smug about money are very comfortably middle class and have been for most of their lives.

There's a hypocrisy in that.

I actually live very humbly, and I believe in generosity and economy.

However, I do like nice things, and I do like the opportunities that money gives, and I live close enough to reality to realize that MONEY is what makes those things possible, not my mommy and daddy or my husband.

Amargith
06-13-2011, 09:34 AM
I've just heard sp last say things like Vala says, like the material world doesn't matter and I just don't relate.

I like good food. I like being in casinos. I like nice places. I like luxury. I've always been toward between my need for beauty and sophistication (which often costs money) and my need to help other people.

I have pretty strong convictions about hating greed, because I fucking hate greed, but I do like things. I like nice things. I like the feeling of money in my hand.

Ohhhh hon..no no nooo. I take pleasure in pretty things and they cost a pretty penny. I love living in luxury and I enjoy an estetically pleasing and authentic (read expensive real wooden furniture etc) surroundings. However. I have no problem living boho style either. I find joy in luxury and I won't say no to it when it comes my way, but I cannot be bothered to work my ass off for it. And I have no problem blowing 3000 euro at once one moment and then going six months without spending *any* money on myself. Whatever's there, I work with, basically, coz I *don't* care. Other things take priority over material shit...doesn't mean I cannot appreciate it when it's there though and since I'm dating an sp-dom INTJ, it's not like I haven' experienced that pleasure before :)

Don't people with so last appreciate it when family harmony is naturally there, without conflict and you all just have a blast when you go out? You don't *need* it per se, and you're not afraid of conflict..but I'm sure you appreciate it when someone is willing to take upon them to steer that group and make it a cosy day out, as long as it's not you that has to do the work :wink:

Amargith
06-14-2011, 10:26 AM
You know you're sx-dom when entering a room unnoticed isn't an option, nor is flying under the radar.

Elfboy
06-14-2011, 11:37 AM
You know you're sx-dom when entering a room unnoticed isn't an option, nor is flying under the radar.

not necessarily, you could also be
- a 4
- a 3
- a 7
- an SP (sensing perceiving)
- an extrovert

Elfboy
09-02-2011, 07:00 AM
you know you're an Sx dom when
- you snuggle with a pillow if you're lonely :cry:
- you have a split personality between flamboyant/magnetic and sweet/nurturing
- you love romantic stories...and you're a guy
- you feel a constant "longing" for something. you wish it would go away, but it doesn't.
- you have long, obsessive and downright painful crushes on people
- you know how to get someone comfortable and close to you in a very short amount of time
- you catch every sexual joke, whether the person meant to say it or not
- people frequently compare you to elements: fiery, electric, icy, breath of fresh air
- you walk into a room and completely change the energy
- people either love you or hate you, but everyone has an opinion about you
- you always make sure you're lookin' fly when you head out the door
- you related to the main characters from Night at the Roxbury

ICUP
09-02-2011, 07:16 AM
you know you're an Sx dom when
- you snuggle with a pillow if you're lonely :cry:

Or a giant Hello Kitty. :)

The rest pretty much are, or have been, true for me. I think sx can suck.

Elfboy
09-02-2011, 07:36 AM
Or a giant Hello Kitty. :)
The rest pretty much are, or have been, true for me. I think sx can suck.

why is that? it sounds like so much fun :D
Edit: (these are all true for me too btw)

Amargith
09-02-2011, 11:58 AM
not necessarily, you could also be
- a 4
- a 3
- a 7
- an SP (sensing perceiving)
- an extrovert

I'm sx-dom on top of all those bolded items as well :alttongue:

And btw, I know plenty of SPs, especially ISTPs who are ingenius at staying under the radar, exactly as long as they want to stay there. I'll confess that when they do decide to reveal, they're can be...breathtakingly intense :smile:

Also, my INTJ so is a 3 and he has *no* problem whatsoever to stay under the radar. Once he starts getting passionate, which in turn turns him incredibly competent at whatever he's doing...*then* he gets noticed, much to his dismay as it distracts him from his work. Once he's done though, he very much enjoys the glory that comes from a hard days work ;)

MacGuffin
09-02-2011, 06:41 PM
Once he's done though, he very much enjoys the glory that comes from a hard days work ;)

I just like to get paid...

Zoom
09-02-2011, 06:55 PM
I think it's the sp last people who don't care about material things.

They have never known the joy of pulling a wad of cash out of your garter and counting it repeatedly.


I've just heard sp last say things like Vala says, like the material world doesn't matter and I just don't relate.

I like good food. I like being in casinos. I like nice places. I like luxury. I've always been toward between my need for beauty and sophistication (which often costs money) and my need to help other people.

I have pretty strong convictions about hating greed, because I fucking hate greed, but I do like things. I like nice things. I like the feeling of money in my hand.


I don't live to work, far from it. I've either been an independent contractor or freelance for most of my life, in between crappy low-wage jobs to make ends meet.

I take pleasure in counting money because I know what it's like to be poor.

I've noticed a lot of people who are smug about money are very comfortably middle class and have been for most of their lives.

There's a hypocrisy in that.

I actually live very humbly, and I believe in generosity and economy.

However, I do like nice things, and I do like the opportunities that money gives, and I live close enough to reality to realize that MONEY is what makes those things possible, not my mommy and daddy or my husband.

When hearing or reading things like this from another, I would pay more attention to whether the person is comfortably middle class than sp, especially if inexperience is present - without the knowledge of what it is like to make and manage their own money.

The focus of sp on "the material world not mattering" isn't necessarily a moral judgement on money and its importance as much as a tendency to hoard what they do have, and to minimize their dependence on the outside world. They instinctively feel as if they have little energy, time, money, etc - so they hoard whatever it is that focus is on, sometimes while simultaneously keeping themselves from asking for much in the same department (from what I've noticed).

Marmotini
09-02-2011, 07:08 PM
When hearing or reading things like this from another, I would pay more attention to whether the person is comfortably middle class than sp, especially if inexperience is present - without the knowledge of what it is like to make and manage their own money.

The focus of sp on "the material world not mattering" isn't necessarily a moral judgement on money and its importance as much as a tendency to hoard what they do have, and to minimize their dependence on the outside world. They instinctively feel as if they have little energy, time, money, etc - so they hoard whatever it is that focus is on, sometimes while simultaneously keeping themselves from asking for much in the same department (from what I've noticed).

Well, I've talked to an Intuitive who has sp last, and I don't relate to her at all about the physical world...I don't know if it's because she's so intuitive, so sp last, or what...but it has nothing to do with her social class or attitude toward money. I mentioned that because that is why *some people* say "oh money doesn't matter" or "money shouldn't matter"...it's because they've never had to worry about money in their life.

But anyway, yes the N/sp last person said she can forget to eat and forget her body and has a harder time staying in her body all that kind of stuff that is stereotypically N...but I think it may also have to do with being sp last in enneagram.

I don't relate. I don't forget to eat. I like to eat. If I don't go outdoors regularly, I get depressed. If I don't get enough physical activity, I can get depressed. I can "get into" my body easily, though I'm also in my head, and I can go through phases where I'm very "prepared" or over-prepared like an sp dom...but I'm much more of an sx dom, and I honestly think my sx/sp shows up the most in my defensive, emotionally reactive behavior.

Zoom
09-02-2011, 07:11 PM
Well, I've talked to an Intuitive who has sp last, and I don't relate to her at all about the physical world...I don't know if it's because she's so intuitive, so sp last, or what...but it has nothing to do with her social class or attitude toward money. I mentioned that because that is why *some people* say "oh money doesn't matter" or "money shouldn't matter"...it's because they've never had to worry about money in their life.

But anyway, yes the N/sp last person said she can forget to eat and forget her body and has a harder time staying in her body all that kind of stuff that is stereotypically N...but I think it may also have to do with being sp last in enneagram.

I don't relate. I don't forget to eat. I like to eat. If I don't go outdoors regularly, I get depressed. If I don't get enough physical activity, I can get depressed. I can "get into" my body easily, though I'm also in my head, and I can go through phases where I'm very "prepared" or over-prepared like an sp dom...but I'm much more of an sx dom, and I honestly think my sx/sp shows up the most in my defensive, emotionally reactive behavior.

Okay. :) So these are two different topics, then - class/income level and obliviousness to the reality of money and how they physical world does or does not affect a person with an instinctive stacking of sp?

Marmotini
09-02-2011, 07:17 PM
Okay. :) So these are two different topics, then - class/income level and obliviousness to the reality of money and how they physical world does or does not affect a person with an instinctive stacking of sp?

I think it could. I've seen people who reject the material world on spiritual, philosophical and/or ascetic principle or say "why do people care about money?" and they're actually from the lower-middle or working class, sometimes.

Yeah, I think that's still connected to being sp last in enneagram. It's one of the reasons why I could never be a Buddhist but find Taoism much more relevant for myself, because I think being ascetic and rejecting desire completely is kind of crazy, and I don't want to do it, because I'm a physical being living on a physical plane, and Taoism acknowledges that...as long as there is balance. The physical world isn't supposed to be valued OVER the spiritual or intellectual world, but it is to be acknowledged, accepted, and enjoyed and the philosophy rejects the notion that we can just ignore the physical world as spiritual people, kind of like it's just silly and impractical to do so. I agree.

chana
09-02-2011, 07:23 PM
material things definitely aren't my main focus, but nothing makes you appreciate money and things more than having to go without. people who say money doesn't matter to them probably haven't been poor.i do have a bad tendency of judging people for how they spend their money, because i can always see a million better, more exciting uses for it. i'm super broke and wasted money upsets me :(

i am very oblivious to my surroundings a lot of the time, and unaware of my body if i'm more focused on something else. if i'm busy with something i'm really interested in, i can forget to eat, forget about being sick/body pains. and i like being in nice , clean places, but messes don't bother me 99% of the time.

Amargith
09-02-2011, 07:25 PM
@marm: I love the same things you do, good food, luxury, beautiful things..but I don't *need* them. And I'm not at all motivated to put myself through hardship to obtain them, and that includes working a job I do not enjoy. I find it much easier to live without them then :)

Otoh, I can really get giddy about any of those things and relish them when I do have them handed to me.

Hazashin
09-02-2011, 09:42 PM
You know you're an Sx-dom when you feel compelled to respond to > 80% of the material on this thread. :laugh:

Another thing I want to add to "You know you're an Sx-dom when..." is:

When you are not repulsed at all by hypersexuality, teenage sex, porn, etc., and when you secretly are turned on by (some) sexual jokes that are meant for purely comical purposes. :yes:

:biggrin:


...when all you wanna do is experience life intensely before your time comes

Exactly!


You're sx-so when (and sp-tarded!):

...when you haven't even thought about whether or not it'll rain, be cold, if you have to bring drinks or not and are daydreaming about who you're going to meet and what you're going to be experiencing.

Mmm, not really. I worry very much about being cold or if it will rain. For one, I HATE being wet (and I thus hate the rain), and I definitely dislike the cold. In fact, that is one of the factors of determining of where I choose to live: the place must NOT be cold.


...when money is so uninteresting, it's no even funny as it's a fucking necessity in this society

I know, right?!?


when you try to get everyone you know enthuasitc about an idea or something that's going on in the world that you really think matters, and they look at you as if you're crazy and you feel disappoint : (

Unless it is shameful, yes! :biggrin:
Though, admittedly, I intentionally (though shamefully) get people to realize what it is that's bothering me or what it is I'm so excited about without being direct about it (it's hard to articulate). For example, I sometimes intentionally put on a very noticeable 'mopey' face to get people to notice that there's something wrong with me so that they can ask me and I can tell them that I'm in love with this girl and I can't do anything about it. They usually don't care, though. Not like it matters much, anyway. I'm not trying to get advice on what to do (I've already got enough of that from another source lol), I simply want them to know the intensity that the crush brings to me.


When socialites loath your uncompromising and honest opinions on what matters to you.

+1!


- When you like something or someone YOU REALLY REALLY LIKE IT.

- You're relieved that the person you're currently focused on wasn't scared away by the intensity and honesty of what you said last night.

I relate to that as well. :yes:


so and sp is also more 'useful' I'd wager.

Fuck that! :biggrin:

:laugh:


You know you are Sx-dom when you love that song:

that's Sx!

Just the title by itself suffices. :biggrin:

:laugh:


My my yes. Conversely, when you hate something or someone, you really really hate it. Although I wouldn't say hate (i am a 9, after all) more like repulsed. Things or people attract me or repulse me and I am immediately aware which is which. I try to not be judgmental in that fashion, but if there's something repellant, there's no changing it.

Same, although I have no capacity to hate anyone.


The fear of losing favor with your infatuation or confessor... The most terrifying thing for me.

YESSS!!! I have a specific instance, actually, that demonstrates this perfectly. For a little over a year now, I've had an INTENSE crush on this girl at my school, and it got to the point where that's all I would ever think about. It was a roller coaster of emotions: one minute I felt on top of the world if I had reason for hope, the next minute I felt the lowest of the low because I had reason to be hopeless. Anyway, I don't mean to derail from what I'm trying to say here, so what happened was I became so desperate to find a solution that I actually joined an online forum community specifically for intense infatuations -- but what I didn't realize that it was a support forum to "move on" rather than help you attain your object of affection. So basically the whole time I was there -- from December of 2010 to March of 2011, daily -- I would frequently find myself disagreeing with most of the members there that it was something horribly disruptive and unhealthy and that it needed to be resolved -- I embraced it. I didn't care if it was (don't care if it is) unhealthy or not lol.


You know you are when seeking intimacy is the number one driving force in your life....

Mhmm. :yes:


Just any area where I don't need a car to get around and there's a party every night.

This one is interesting. I agree that I'd rather live in an area where I didn't have to drive a car hardly at all, BUT there's also an Sp reason behind that, and that is that I have a fear of driving. :yes:


You know you're sx-dom when entering a room unnoticed isn't an option, nor is flying under the radar.

I don't relate to that at ALL. I think that's more of an extravert vs. introvert thing. :laugh:


you know you're an Sx dom when
- you snuggle with a pillow if you're lonely :cry:
- you have a split personality between flamboyant/magnetic and sweet/nurturing
- you love romantic stories...and you're a guy
- you feel a constant "longing" for something. you wish it would go away, but it doesn't.
[...]
- you know how to get someone comfortable and close to you in a very short amount of time
- you catch every sexual joke, whether the person meant to say it or not
- people frequently compare you to elements: fiery, electric, icy, breath of fresh air
- you walk into a room and completely change the energy
- people either love you or hate you, but everyone has an opinion about you
- you always make sure you're lookin' fly when you head out the door
- you related to the main characters from Night at the Roxbury

Agreed with the bolded.


- you have long, obsessive and downright painful crushes on people

Yes, yes, double yes!! ^_^

:D


Well, I've talked to an Intuitive who has sp last, and I don't relate to her at all about the physical world...I don't know if it's because she's so intuitive, so sp last, or what...but it has nothing to do with her social class or attitude toward money. I mentioned that because that is why *some people* say "oh money doesn't matter" or "money shouldn't matter"...it's because they've never had to worry about money in their life.

But anyway, yes the N/sp last person said she can forget to eat and forget her body and has a harder time staying in her body all that kind of stuff that is stereotypically N...but I think it may also have to do with being sp last in enneagram.

I don't relate. I don't forget to eat. I like to eat. If I don't go outdoors regularly, I get depressed. If I don't get enough physical activity, I can get depressed. I can "get into" my body easily, though I'm also in my head, and I can go through phases where I'm very "prepared" or over-prepared like an sp dom...but I'm much more of an sx dom, and I honestly think my sx/sp shows up the most in my defensive, emotionally reactive behavior.

Well, yes, of course it matters, Marm. But this is a result of a capitalistic society. :D


And I'm not at all motivated to put myself through hardship to obtain them, and that includes working a job I do not enjoy. I find it much easier to live without them then :)

Agreeeeed! :laugh:


If you're with a group of people, you forget to talk to anyone else, and you don't hear their conversations.

- When mediocrity, esp of feeling, is scary.

when you assume because you want it it's how things should be, and when you can't let go of things you want fast enough and as a result end up not handling disappointment too well

Agreed to all three.

So one question for anyone who has read this... does it still mean I'm Sp-dom if the biggest characteristic of Sp I have is that you worry immensely about feeling physical pain and discomfort? Because that seems to be my trouble, which is why I often shy away from doing intense experiences. It might just have to do with me being 6, though. I can't tell.

Mal12345
09-03-2011, 02:00 PM
:devil:

Here's a question for sx-so's vs sx-sp's. Could it be that sx-sp's are blunt and direct with people and are perceived as an 'intensity attack' whereas sx-so's often feel frustrated, but will put in the effort of 'cushioning' their full frontal intensity attack to try and ease people into it?

What say you, my intense horde of lovelies?

As someone who has been questioned about choosing Sx over Sp as his dominant, the intensity of the reasoning behind my comments should be noted. Nobody has ever explained exactly why I have to be Sp based on my comments here. Too much intuition and not enough reasoning goes into making judgment calls. Intuitive thinking is lazy thinking.

If some of my comments seem repelling, that is just the negative side of the Sx dom. These intuitive-dominant types around here easily neglect little details such as the fact that the Sx can be both an attractor and a repeller depending on the person. The website I go to for this information calls it a negative pheromone, or something like that.

One mustn't forget the So at the bottom of the stack. When I first came onto this forum I brought the social side to the fore, but after a few tastes of the crazy trolling that goes on around here I moved it back to the bottom again. You won't be seeing that part of me again. Maybe some of you will, in private.

Speed Gavroche
09-03-2011, 02:08 PM
You know you're an Sx-dom when:

_You believe you can put anyone in your bed, or go in their bed, and if you belive you can't, you iresistibly solve the problem by highly flirtatious behaviors, alpha male/femme fatale attitude, auto sujetion or plastic surgery.

_Especially if you are Sx/So, when you read tabloids you think Lindsay Lohan is misunderstood for her constant partying: after all, she just live life to the fullest.

_ again, if you are Sx/So, you love money in the literal sense, not because it's useful, but because it's beautiful.

_you think about death every day and see that about a very important step of your life, that doesn't scare you, you must live life to the fullest before the game is over (again, especially if you are Sx/So)

_you crave intensity and/or orgasm in everything you do, and the day is not complete until you get it at least one time.

_you have a natural energy wich lead you to be agressive until you are at the top of the food chain. For you, sex is power, and you demand both.

_you don't value stability and security, you value destruction of boundaries and impulses.

_you get more pleasure and satisfaction from exhibitionism than form isolationism.

Hazashin
09-03-2011, 06:08 PM
You know you're an Sx-dom when:
[...]

How 'bout when you don't need to get to know a person better to be comfortable with and/or to want to get close/have sex with them? You know how some people say, "This relationship is going to fast"? I'm like, "What's too fast?"

Elfboy
09-03-2011, 08:14 PM
You know you're an Sx-dom when:

_You believe you can put anyone in your bed, or go in their bed, and if you belive you can't, you iresistibly solve the problem by highly flirtatious behaviors, alpha male/femme fatale attitude, auto sujetion or plastic surgery.

_Especially if you are Sx/So, when you read tabloids you think Lindsay Lohan is misunderstood for her constant partying: after all, she just live life to the fullest.

_ again, if you are Sx/So, you love money in the literal sense, not because it's useful, but because it's beautiful.

_you think about death every day and see that about a very important step of your life, that doesn't scare you, you must live life to the fullest before the game is over (again, especially if you are Sx/So)

_you crave intensity and/or orgasm in everything you do, and the day is not complete until you get it at least one time.

_you have a natural energy wich lead you to be agressive until you are at the top of the food chain. For you, sex is power, and you demand both.

_you don't value stability and security, you value destruction of boundaries and impulses.

_you get more pleasure and satisfaction from exhibitionism than form isolationism.

as in you need to either have sex or masturbate once a day? :D

Speed Gavroche
09-04-2011, 12:21 AM
How 'bout when you don't need to get to know a person better to be comfortable with and/or to want to get close/have sex with them? You know how some people say, "This relationship is going to fast"? I'm like, "What's too fast?"

To feel confortable does'nt equal as Sx. It's Sp who seeks confort, Sx are intense quickly, but are not truting quickly. Different thing.

Speed Gavroche
09-04-2011, 12:21 AM
as in you need to either have sex or masturbate once a day? :D

Sometimes it's better than actual sex with a woman. :biggrin:

ICUP
09-04-2011, 03:22 AM
You know you're an sx when:

You feel entitled to piss off other people, but when they do it back, you get your feelings hurt and become "emo".

Hazashin
09-04-2011, 04:09 AM
To feel confortable does'nt equal as Sx. It's Sp who seeks confort, Sx are intense quickly, but are not truting quickly. Different thing.

But wouldn't an Sp-dom be slow to get close to someone? I would think an Sx-dom would get attached easily. :thinking:

If not, then what about if you don't like to take relationships slow and you know very quickly if you like a person or not? Is that Sx?

Elfboy
09-04-2011, 05:44 AM
Sometimes it's better than actual sex with a woman. :biggrin:

agreed. and emphasis on MINIMUM once a day
I'll spare further details :D

Amargith
09-04-2011, 09:03 AM
You know you're an sx when:

You feel entitled to piss off other people, but when they do it back, you get your feelings hurt and become "emo".

ISTPs confessing to being emo...this thread just got interesting :popc1:

ICUP
09-04-2011, 07:22 PM
ISTPs confessing to being emo...this thread just got interesting :popc1:

LoL, I think all sx'es are to a certain degree. I don't think I go as emo as other types, but I think the sx adds emotionality to a type, moreso than the other stackings.
My entj S.O. calls me "emo".... we laugh because I get all sappy in a Hallmark aisle or when a Lionel Ritchie song comes on in a restaurant. Also, I will tell him that sometimes he hurt my feelings, and it will seem kindof silly how I am getting my feelings hurt over something that isn't that bad. Sx'es can be comical in the way that they get their feelings hurt over petty, shallow stuff that other people really don't understand. In my case, I know it sounds silly, but it's still present, nevertheless. I really am kind of sensitive, when it comes down to it..... I just usually don't show anyone that side of myself. When I was a kid, I would just lay in bed alone and cry when it hurt. LoL..... I wouldn't show anyone.

Speed Gavroche
09-04-2011, 07:45 PM
_When you walk in the street, you often look strangers directly in their eyes, and even try to intimidate them sometimes. You also often feel a compulsion to destroy the car, crash the shop window, hit on people etc.

_Your eyes are big, intense, bright and wide opened.

_You are attracted to drugs because it's dangerous.

Samsara
09-04-2011, 07:58 PM
_When you walk in the street, you often look strangers directly in their eyes, and even try to intimidate them sometimes. You also often feel a compulsion to destroy the car, crash the shop window, hit on people etc.

_Your eyes are big, intense, bright and wide opened.

_You are attracted to drugs because it's dangerous.

1st bolded - I thought that was just depression, lol
2nd bolded - I hit on them on my mind.
3rd bolded - I was thinking about LSD this evening while watching woodstock AGAIN. Ohhh pretty colours but its bad.

Hazashin
09-04-2011, 08:11 PM
LoL, I think all sx'es are to a certain degree. I don't think I go as emo as other types, but I think the sx adds emotionality to a type, moreso than the other stackings.
My entj S.O. calls me "emo".... we laugh because I get all sappy in a Hallmark aisle or when a Lionel Ritchie song comes on in a restaurant. Also, I will tell him that sometimes he hurt my feelings, and it will seem kindof silly how I am getting my feelings hurt over something that isn't that bad. I really am kind of sensitive, when it comes down to it..... I just usually don't show anyone that side of myself. When I was a kid, I would just lay in bed alone and cry when it hurt. LoL..... I wouldn't show anyone.

Interesting, a fellow ISTP Sx-dom, Speed Gavroche, insists that Sx-doms aren't usually "emo".

When I said:
Whenever I'm around someone I really like, I get VERY paranoid about how attractive I look to them. If I'm going to meet with them somewhere, I go the extra mile to look good. But in general, everyday life, it's not that important to me.

He said:

Another proof that you are not Sx! When you are Sx, you are in a constant alert mode like there was an opportunity for sex and intimacy at each second. Listen, as an Sx-first, I never go out in a appearance that could make me look ugly and not attractive, and when i do, i consider it at a risk. Of course, as many Sx, I often indulge in neglect, the most extreme cases of horrible neglect come from Sx/So, but I take on me that I'm taking a risk for this time, and then, I look at me in a mirror and I think something like "eh, actually that make look like an adventurer, pretty interesting, hello honey, wanna fuck?".

If you don't care about intimacy as a general rule but are obsessed with someone from time to time, it's a typical clue nat you're not Sx, Sx-last are even more like this. And Sx is not about "find love", damn! Are we suposed to be emo shit or something ?!!

And in response to my relation to Sx:
Sexual: I wouldn't say that I'm that aware of my connection and desirability amongst individuals, but I would say that I'm generally not attractive and desirable (though my low self-esteem may skew this opinion). I've been told numerous times by different people (and I've heard from other people) that I'm not attractive, both personality-wise and appearance-wise. Nor have girls bothered to talk to me (which is why most of my friends are guys), and I've never had a girlfriend. I would say that my lack of a partner over the years and my failures with biggest crushes over the years has left me crushed more than anything else, but, although I mope and cry over this, I don't do much about it -- half because I think it's no use, half because I'm too lazy and uncomfortable to commit myself to making myself more sexually attractive. Does that still count?

He said:
Actually that has to do with being Sx-last. :laugh: Sx-second is possible, but Sx-first is absolutely not.

VagrantFarce
09-04-2011, 08:20 PM
He's right, your dominant instinct subconsciously pervades every thought and action - it's not something that just turns on and off when the situation dictates.

This is the whole point of things like the enneagram - to help you identify things about yourself that you would not have otherwise noticed, precisely because they're below your normal self-awareness moment to moment.

Speed Gavroche
09-04-2011, 08:32 PM
1st bolded - I thought that was just depression, lol
2nd bolded - I hit on them on my mind.
3rd bolded - I was thinking about LSD this evening while watching woodstock AGAIN. Ohhh pretty colours but its bad.

I can guarantee you that your eyes are big, brights , intenses and wide opened, saslou. :)

FDG
09-04-2011, 08:37 PM
_When you walk in the street, you often look strangers directly in their eyes, and even try to intimidate them sometimes. You also often feel a compulsion to destroy the car, crash the shop window, hit on people etc.

_Your eyes are big, intense, bright and wide opened.

_You are attracted to drugs because it's dangerous.

Lol. Totally true.

Samsara
09-04-2011, 08:45 PM
I can guarantee you that your eyes are big, brights , intenses and wide opened, saslou. :)

:wubbie: .. Right back at ya sweetheart.

ICUP
09-04-2011, 09:48 PM
Interesting, a fellow ISTP Sx-dom, Speed Gavroche, insists that Sx-doms aren't usually "emo".

When I said:

He said:


And in response to my relation to Sx:

He said:

I disagree with Speed, but I do often.
From what you have posted here, I think you could be a possible sx. I was very mopey over men when I was a teen, and totally into my relationships with them. I was hyper-sensitive when it came to getting their approval and love. Getting into a good relationship has always been my #1. Yes, I have gone through periods where I would cry alot because I didn't have as many dates as I would've liked, but when I do a comparison, I had more relationships than your average Joe, and more longer relationships. I've had a boyfriend constantly since I was 17. These days, I don't lay around and cry when I don't have a boyfriend lol, but I definitely become more depressed, and start searching.

Like you, I don't care that much how I look usually. I don't wear any makeup, most of the time, and I am usually unkempt. But I do, maybe every couple of weeks, dress up a few times, and do my makeup, hair, nails, hot clothing, etc. I enjoy doing it, and if I don't do it often enough, I feel unsatisfied. It's not something I would want to do everyday, however, as I prefer to be inconspicuous for the most part. I am so hyper-aware of my sexuality and other's sexuality, and how it is affecting us, that I don't want to make myself up, to draw more attention to the fact that I am a sexual being. I do like to on occasion, however, but I am sure it is different for an sx/so.

My dad was also estp 7w6 sx/sp, and believe me, he put me to shame when it comes to "emo" lol.... He actually burst into tears and sobbed in public at a gathering with old friends. He was really super-sensitive and jealous over my mother. He would get angry and lash out over small things, and be broody. My sister "hurt his feelings" when she told him he should get a nose job, at 75.... hahahahahahahahaha.

I can also get very paranoid about how I look sometimes, and pick at my flaws, especially with new dates. I've also gone through periods where I felt unattractive, in fact, probably for the most part, from 15 to 30. My self-esteem is alot better now, when it comes to that, which is funny because I'm 41 and supposedly looking worse lol..... I think it can be something you can "grow out of", to stop allowing other people's opinions to mess with your head. It's more about what you think looks good, and if they don't like it, well, too fucking bad. I'm sure I don't think they are perfect-looking either.

I know a guy who is sp/so, and he likes to be with girls, but he can go for years and years without being in a relationship. He can take it or leave it, and it's certainly nothing he is all-that into. Yes, he can get sortof depressed when a relationship ends, as all of us can, but he seems to get over it quickly, and he doesn't really care that much when he is going to get into the next one. It seems that many without sx can take it or leave it. It's last on their list.

I tend to think that a female sx who doesn't have a close relationship with their father might develop "daddy issues", and it might make them into more-mopey, depressed teens, and they may be less-sure that they are attractive. At least, that's what I think happened to me.

Elfboy
09-04-2011, 10:13 PM
_When you walk in the street, you often look strangers directly in their eyes, and even try to intimidate them sometimes. You also often feel a compulsion to destroy the car, crash the shop window, hit on people etc.

_Your eyes are big, intense, bright and wide opened.

_You are attracted to drugs because it's dangerous.

dude, these are counter phobic 6, not Sx

Hopelandic
09-05-2011, 04:29 AM
Why would people be telling you that you were too intense if you were sx first? i'm not sx/sp but my experience of sx is that it only comes out "intensly" or full force when someone can match me in terms of wavelengths. I will go as far as the connection allows, but not very far around people i'm not in sync with. Therefore, I never get the "too intense" remark, because the people who would be saying that wouldn't see the full force of me. Ever.

I know whose in line with me and who isn't. My radar is so specific and refined, hardly anyone will see how far I might go with something...

VagrantFarce
09-05-2011, 08:14 AM
Anyone can be "intense". I'm not sx-first, but I know that I've had a tendency to intimidate people without meaning to. :laugh:

Behavioral characteristics only hint at what's going on underneath, they don't determine it. A lot of people around here seem to think of it it as the other way around.

"My eyes look intense, therefore I have an overwhelming subconscious preoccupation with intimacy and attractiveness".
"I'm not into books or science, therefore I'm not a Five."
"I loathe material possessions, therefore I'm not Sp-dominant."

Salomé
09-05-2011, 01:53 PM
... you're a total narcissist.

At least, if this thread is to be believed.

Samsara
09-05-2011, 09:29 PM
... you're a total narcissist.

At least, if this thread is to be believed.

I prefer the terminology Healthy Narcissism please :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Healthy_narcissism
I am not that important though.

Lady_X
09-06-2011, 02:50 AM
let's see if this counts haha...raging thunderstorm outside... crazy wind.. lightning...thunder so loud you almost pee your pants and i'm loving every second of it. my sx last bf hates it to death.

what do you think? haha

Hazashin
09-06-2011, 04:12 AM
let's see if this counts haha...raging thunderstorm outside... crazy wind.. lightning...thunder so loud you almost pee your pants and i'm loving every second of it. my sx last bf hates it to death.

what do you think? haha

Wait, you like that? Perhaps I'm not an Sx-dom then? o_o

Lady_X
09-06-2011, 04:14 AM
haha i do but i have no idea if it means anything at all.

Hazashin
09-06-2011, 04:21 AM
haha i do but i have no idea if it means anything at all.

Would you say I am from the posts you've seen?

Lady_X
09-06-2011, 04:27 AM
i'm sorry..i can't say one way or another for you.

Salomé
09-06-2011, 09:53 AM
let's see if this counts haha...raging thunderstorm outside... crazy wind.. lightning...thunder so loud you almost pee your pants and i'm loving every second of it. my sx last bf hates it to death.

what do you think? hahaThere is something powerfully erotic about lightning storms. But of course, sx and death are two ends of the same loop.

FDG
09-06-2011, 10:09 AM
I love cycling or hiking in a thunderstorm, especially in the mountains and uphill...there's something epic about it

VagrantFarce
09-06-2011, 11:36 AM
anyone can find thunderstorms exciting or frightening, for any number of reasons.

jesus christ people get a grip

Salomé
09-06-2011, 11:42 AM
That sounds like a compelling reason.

FDG
09-06-2011, 11:46 AM
anyone can find thunderstorms exciting or frightening, for any number of reasons.

jesus christ people get a grip

It's a thread about the enneagram, shouldn't be taken too seriously.

Lady_X
09-06-2011, 11:51 AM
anyone can find thunderstorms exciting or frightening, for any number of reasons.

jesus christ people get a grip

you're beginning to get under my skin quite a lot.

stay out of threads that annoy you. i plainly asked if anyone thought there might be a connection.

Salomé
09-06-2011, 12:03 PM
you're beginning to get under my skin quite a lot.


He's just demonstrating his sxyness.

Ginkgo
09-06-2011, 12:08 PM
you're beginning to get under my skin quite a lot.

stay out of threads that annoy you. i plainly asked if anyone thought there might be a connection.

How dare he speak the truth. How dare he.

Mal12345
09-06-2011, 03:17 PM
haha i do but i have no idea if it means anything at all.

Twenty years ago I read something that links iNtuition with the love of weather and raging storms, but I don't know if it's true.

Lady_X
09-06-2011, 03:21 PM
How dare he speak the truth. How dare he.

it's not the truth. it's his opinion and him having one and stating it doesn't bother me in the slightest but his telling me or anyone else to stop talking about this or that pisses me off.

Zarathustra
09-06-2011, 04:56 PM
it's not the truth. it's his opinion and him having one and stating it doesn't bother me in the slightest but his telling me or anyone else to stop talking about this or that pisses me off.

/ Te bitchslap (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nf-idyllic/49881-enfps-non-enfps-share-your-te-bitchslap-stories.html)

Lady_X
09-06-2011, 05:05 PM
/ Te bitchslap (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nf-idyllic/49881-enfps-non-enfps-share-your-te-bitchslap-stories.html)

oh that's really more of a glare isn't it? haha

Giggly
09-09-2011, 12:16 AM
Hmm....I thought I was Sx first but reading this thread has made me question that.

Elfboy
09-10-2011, 08:31 AM
Hmm....I thought I was Sx first but reading this thread has made me question that.

what's your enneagram? some instinct variant/enneagram combinations are easily mistaken. for instance, 4w3s tend to look Sx, 5w4s tend to look Sp and 7w6s tend to look So.

Giggly
09-10-2011, 04:29 PM
what's your enneagram? some instinct variant/enneagram combinations are easily mistaken. for instance, 4w3s tend to look Sx, 5w4s tend to look Sp and 7w6s tend to look So.

I think I might be 9w1. Does that mean that the enneagram types you named can't or won't ever be the instinct variants you listed?

Speed Gavroche
09-10-2011, 04:34 PM
I think I might be 9w1. Does that mean that the enneagram types you named can't or won't ever be the instinct variants you listed?

My impression is that you are So/Sx, Giggly. Maybe a 2.

Elfboy
09-10-2011, 06:13 PM
I think I might be 9w1. Does that mean that the enneagram types you named can't or won't ever be the instinct variants you listed?

no, they just won't LOOK like that instinct variant as much. for instance 3w2s look more social as a whole than 4w5s

Haven
09-11-2011, 01:17 AM
I think I might be 9w1. Does that mean that the enneagram types you named can't or won't ever be the instinct variants you listed?

I think you're a 2w1

The Great One
06-07-2013, 07:04 PM
Amargith
Marmotini
skylights

I encountered this thread yesterday when I was doing a google search. Anyway, I will get straight to the point: I’ve been interacting with a lot sx doms lately and I’m starting to consider the possibility that I may be an sx dom for the following reasons…

1. It’s like all that I do in life is search for a mate. When I first enter a room, it seems like the first thing that always notice is the attractive women. Also, when striking up a conversation with these women there are some women that I just “vibe” with and some that I don’t. It seems like I can tell if I have any type of chemistry with a woman in literally a matter of minutes. Also, if I do vibe with them, I generally want to get as close to that particular woman as I can as fast as possible and often do so unconsciously.
2. I’m literally obsessed with my sexual appearance, and it’s very important to me in life. I’m not concerned with my appearance for social reasons of prestige, but more because I’m always trying to attract a mate. I also constantly fear getting hurt by things, but what’s strange is that I’m more afraid of getting in a freak accident and getting disfigured than I am of actually being physically hurt or killed.
3. I get close to a woman VERY easily. Let’s put it this way: I once met a woman on personalitycafe and chatted with her on the phone for months. The woman lived way on the other side of the country, but I chatted with her every night for literally 5 hours EVERY single night for a month and a half straight. I never even met the girl in real life, but I was just so obsessed with her and her with me. She was literally all that I could think of. Sadly it didn’t work out and we never really got to see each other. However, I have never felt so alive in my life. Of course, I’ve had other relationships in my life but I just stated this example to illustrate a point.
4. I tend to attract sx doms and it seems like I can’t get with anything other than another sx dom because otherwise the bond between us isn’t strong enough.
5. I will mention thought that if I am an Sx dom then I am probably sx/sp. I am also very obsessed with money and with my health. I hate to have any health problems what-so-ever and they drive me nuts. I also go nuts when I don’t have money.

The only thing that confuses me is that I would like to know what sx doms mean by intensity? If by intensity, you mean passion than I would say that I’m an intense person

Amargith
06-07-2013, 07:58 PM
You seem so-dom to me, tbh. The first thing I tend to notice about you is your wish to belong on this forum, and find a place within the group. You're quite peace-loving for an entp and you like people being civil, getting along and giving each other the appropriate amount of space.

Then again, I could be wrong, as I dont know you that well :shrug:

skylights
06-07-2013, 09:48 PM
To be honest now I am questioning my own instincts! :laugh:

MDP2525
06-07-2013, 11:00 PM
All this talk about sex and being sx is confusing to me. It's never about sex. At least, that isnt the driving force behind any sx dom. It's about intensity of attraction. A palpable energy that the sx dom feels. It's not always physical. In fact, sx doms can be very weird with who they are attracted to.

Elfboy
06-08-2013, 04:25 AM
material things definitely aren't my main focus, but nothing makes you appreciate money and things more than having to go without. people who say money doesn't matter to them probably haven't been poor.i do have a bad tendency of judging people for how they spend their money, because i can always see a million better, more exciting uses for it. i'm super broke and wasted money upsets me :(
^this

The Great One
06-08-2013, 06:27 PM
You seem so-dom to me, tbh. The first thing I tend to notice about you is your wish to belong on this forum, and find a place within the group. You're quite peace-loving for an entp and you like people being civil, getting along and giving each other the appropriate amount of space.

Then again, I could be wrong, as I dont know you that well :shrug:

Yeah, but I clearly use Ti<Fe. I'm very aware that I outwardly look like a feeler though.


To be honest now I am questioning my own instincts! :laugh:

Why what do you now think that you are?


All this talk about sex and being sx is confusing to me. It's never about sex. At least, that isnt the driving force behind any sx dom. It's about intensity of attraction. A palpable energy that the sx dom feels. It's not always physical. In fact, sx doms can be very weird with who they are attracted to.

Right I'm very aware of this. However, I rarely hear the sx lasts talking about intimacy, closeness, relationships, etc. It seems like those play last fiddle to them.


^this

Exactly I wasn't very into money at first, but after being poor for a number of years now, I AM VERY INTO MONEY!

Amargith
06-08-2013, 07:39 PM
Look, as an sx-dom myself, I very much am focused on who is packing the juice in a place. Who catches my eye, attracts my attention, in whatever way - be it sexual or otherwise. Who is intriguing, who is...different and who is drawing me in. Meanwhile, I'm very aware of how others respond to me, and I know instinctively when I'm being hunted in a similar fashion - that is, if I'm not distracted elsewhere. The push and pulll between me and others, the cat and mouse games that can come with it, the need for connecting with others and figuring out what makes them tick and what makes them special, it is all part of what makes me sx-dom.

I do this in all my relationships. In fact, this is just how I relate to others. Sure, I'll use it to hunt sexually for what I need, and even for what I want romantically, but I'll also use it in friendships, in inspiring others, in persuading them, in navigating society, hell, I even use it to problem solve, as I usually know *someone* who can help me out if I don't know how to figure it out myself, and I tend to be able to find out what they need to be motivated to help me out here.

The intensity they talk about when it comes to sx-doms comes from that obsession with 'connection'. The need to merge with others, to look inside other people's skull and see what makes them tick, for whatever reason. I personally enjoy the feeling of merging, but Ive known NT sx-doms who just want to find out what's inside someone elses head and what makes them good at what they do - possibly so they can acquire the skill themselves. It is an intense one-on-one feeling which often is characterised by that push and pull between the sx-dom and those around him/her, ime.

You might wanna get an sx-sp NT in here though to relate how it feels to them, though :shrug:

fia
06-08-2013, 08:09 PM
When being intimate with your partner means everything to you and when you would risk almost everything in your life for a chance at a deep, intimate relationship.

When it seems baffling when people say sex is not a big deal and they would be okay never having sex again. I always wonder if such people have ever been in a situation where they were cut-off from the option of having sex.

When you idealize people and feel a deep connection with them without even interacting, and yet also feel isolated and alone at your inability to make a tangible connection.

When you feel frustrated by the limitations of language and other forms of expression to convey the depth of what you feel for other people.

When the cruelest thing a person can do to you is show apathy and disinterest.

I could go on, but there probably isn't any real point in doing so.

fia
06-08-2013, 08:24 PM
When you realize that at your core you are a feral girl, then you know you are a sx-dom.

Elfboy
06-08-2013, 08:32 PM
you know you're an Sx dom when...
- half of you wants a life long, intimate, magical romance with one person. the other half is a crazed, lustful, gluttonous animal that wants to fuck as many (attractive) people as possible cuz it feels like it's running out of time
- whether consciously or unconsciously, you demand attention....and you get it
- your motto is "if it's not worth doing in excess, it's not worth doing at all". if you can't get obsessed with something, you see little point in pursuing
- you like entertainment that embodies fiery passion, raw aggression and drama. most entertainment is too "light"and leaves you feeling like you only got a snack when you were expecting a satiating meal
- you are prone to addiction. you want more...and more....and MORE
- you are a bit (or more than a bit) obsessed with your own sexual desirability. it's likely you compare yourself to unrealistically attractive people (celebrities, anime characters etc) which can lead to envy or being self critical if you're not careful
- you MUST have spark and erotic intensity in your relationships. some people are able to have happy relationships even after they are no longer attracted to each other...not you. you cannot be happy in a relationship unless your sex life is passionate and engaging and you want to make sure that both you and your partner stay attractive for as long as possible

superunknown
06-08-2013, 08:33 PM
Your insides feel hollow when you're alone, in a relative way.

The Great One
06-08-2013, 09:51 PM
Look, as an sx-dom myself, I very much am focused on who is packing the juice in a place. Who catches my eye, attracts my attention, in whatever way - be it sexual or otherwise. Who is intriguing, who is...different and who is drawing me in. Meanwhile, I'm very aware of how others respond to me, and I know instinctively when I'm being hunted in a similar fashion - that is, if I'm not distracted elsewhere. The push and pulll between me and others, the cat and mouse games that can come with it, the need for connecting with others and figuring out what makes them tick and what makes them special, it is all part of what makes me sx-dom.

I do this in all my relationships. In fact, this is just how I relate to others. Sure, I'll use it to hunt sexually for what I need, and even for what I want romantically, but I'll also use it in friendships, in inspiring others, in persuading them, in navigating society, hell, I even use it to problem solve, as I usually know *someone* who can help me out if I don't know how to figure it out myself, and I tend to be able to find out what they need to be motivated to help me out here.

The intensity they talk about when it comes to sx-doms comes from that obsession with 'connection'. The need to merge with others, to look inside other people's skull and see what makes them tick, for whatever reason. I personally enjoy the feeling of merging, but Ive known NT sx-doms who just want to find out what's inside someone elses head and what makes them good at what they do - possibly so they can acquire the skill themselves. It is an intense one-on-one feeling which often is characterised by that push and pull between the sx-dom and those around him/her, ime.

You might wanna get an sx-sp NT in here though to relate how it feels to them, though :shrug:

I focus on the "juice of the place as well" and am very aware of the chemistry between myself and others as well. However, I don't do that push-pull shit. That seems to be a sx/so thing and it's UNGODLY ANNOYING! I've been put through it before and you almost want to scream sx/so types for doing this.

The Great One
06-08-2013, 09:54 PM
Amargith skylights

Did you folks ever see my video? I actually look so/sx in it...

http://youtu.be/FAehUNSPEtE

Amargith
06-08-2013, 10:34 PM
I focus on the "juice of the place as well" and am very aware of the chemistry between myself and others as well. However, I don't do that push-pull shit. That seems to be a sx/so thing and it's UNGODLY ANNOYING! I've been put through it before and you almost want to scream sx/so types for doing this.

Actually, sx-sp types are worse still :coffee:

They spend a lot of time pulling someone close, scare themselves shitless due to the proximity, sp kicks in and they run in the other direction. So don't be blaming us dude.

Azure Flame
06-08-2013, 10:58 PM
When your life motto is PLAY HARD and PLAY HARDER.

-sx/so

The Great One
06-08-2013, 11:22 PM
Actually, sx-sp types are worse still :coffee:

They spend a lot of time pulling someone close, scare themselves shitless due to the proximity, sp kicks in and they run in the other direction. So don't be blaming us dude.

I disagree with this information. The sx/sp that I have known have been as hot and cold and as flighty as the sx/so's that I've known.

Amargith
06-09-2013, 09:25 AM
I disagree with this information. The sx/sp that I have known have been as hot and cold and as flighty as the sx/so's that I've known.

:shrug: Disagree all you want, at least sx-so aint afraid to get close to people, in fact they *want* to. It is often that intense need for intimacy that scares others. Sx-sp ime fights their own instinct. They want to get close, then when they get close, they spook themselves and need space. I'll fucking stay put once I've decided to get close and executed the manoevre while they tend to bolt and come back till they figure it out. Granted, once they do decide, they do not look back, even when they should. I do my push and pulling upfront to see whether I wanna actually get up close and personal with the other person and if they are interested in me at all.

Otoh, sx-sps dont always seem aware that they are drifting close to another person, or getting intimate as they just act on instinct, then panic when sp kicks in and wants to protect itself. I personally tend to be highly aware of that happening so I know where it's headed and how it is changing. That is the benefit of so: it makes you aware of your status with the other person, and vice versa.

Pick your poison, I guess.

Edit: :laugh: at the 3 sx-sps that left me a rep agreeing with my previous post in some fashion or another.

Zarathustra
06-09-2013, 04:17 PM
Amargith skylights

Did you folks ever see my video? I actually look so/sx in it...

http://youtu.be/FAehUNSPEtE

I was going to say this before, but didn't; might as well now.

I think sx/sp is absurdly far off.

You seem so/sx to me.

Zarathustra
06-09-2013, 04:22 PM
When your life motto is PLAY HARD and PLAY HARDER.

-sx/so

I think you're mixing your Jungian and Enneagram types into this too much.

Azure Flame
06-09-2013, 04:52 PM
yeah maybe. I know jack shit about instinctuals.

The Great One
06-09-2013, 09:05 PM
:shrug: Disagree all you want, at least sx-so aint afraid to get close to people, in fact they *want* to. It is often that intense need for intimacy that scares others. Sx-sp ime fights their own instinct. They want to get close, then when they get close, they spook themselves and need space. I'll fucking stay put once I've decided to get close and executed the manoevre while they tend to bolt and come back till they figure it out. Granted, once they do decide, they do not look back, even when they should. I do my push and pulling upfront to see whether I wanna actually get up close and personal with the other person and if they are interested in me at all.

Otoh, sx-sps dont always seem aware that they are drifting close to another person, or getting intimate as they just act on instinct, then panic when sp kicks in and wants to protect itself. I personally tend to be highly aware of that happening so I know where it's headed and how it is changing. That is the benefit of so: it makes you aware of your status with the other person, and vice versa.

Pick your poison, I guess.

Edit: :laugh: at the 3 sx-sps that left me a rep agreeing with my previous post in some fashion or another.

How does the sx/sp panick when sp kicks in? They want to marry a person but are afraid to take it too fast because they fear that the person will later divorce them and take all of their money? I wouldn't know cuz I've never dated a sx/sp. However I've dated quite a few sx/so people and they seem to put you through more tests than the SAT's. Pain in the ass.


I was going to say this before, but didn't; might as well now.

I think sx/sp is absurdly far off.

You seem so/sx to me.

Yeah that's what about 90% of the people that type me say. The others say so/sp. However, about 99% of the people that I chat with say I'm an so dom.

Elfboy
06-09-2013, 10:31 PM
Actually, sx-sp types are worse still :coffee:
They spend a lot of time pulling someone close, scare themselves shitless due to the proximity, sp kicks in and they run in the other direction. So don't be blaming us dude.
what were the E types of the Sx/Sp's who agreed with this? cuz I sure as hell don't. I don't think this would apply to Id Sx/Sp's at all (perhaps a phobic 6 or 9 that was INFP, but overall, no)

this sounds more like Sp/Sx if anything

The Great One
06-09-2013, 11:12 PM
what were the E types of the Sx/Sp's who agreed with this? cuz I sure as hell don't. I don't think this would apply to Id Sx/Sp's at all (perhaps a phobic 6 or 9 that was INFP, but overall, no)

this sounds more like Sp/Sx if anything

It thought that this sounded a bit off to me as well.

Misty
06-10-2013, 03:04 AM
At a certain degree, won't any instinctual combination start playing hot and cold if they're unhealthy enough? I read somewhere that damaged sx can recoil from intimacy with all the power that they used to seek it with.

Amargith
06-10-2013, 04:39 AM
what were the E types of the Sx/Sp's who agreed with this? cuz I sure as hell don't. I don't think this would apply to Id Sx/Sp's at all (perhaps a phobic 6 or 9 that was INFP, but overall, no)

this sounds more like Sp/Sx if anything

Actually, sp-sx just keeps you at arms length at all times, until they decide that you're for them, then they move pretty darn fast. Sx-sp comes close, realises its close, runs, comes close, etc. Their sp protectiveness kicks in as a last resort, or so it seems. They have that same aloofness as sp-sx, but they do not start off with it, meaning you trigger it later on, as they still have that urge to bond.
The people who repped me were a mix of extroverts and introverts, fwiw. And I know several others who have the same dynamic. I tend to be a fan of sx-sp and sp-sx, so I keep in mind that they'll buck and break free a couple of times before they decide on me, even when they look like they're good for the moment.



How does the sx/sp panick when sp kicks in? They want to marry a person but are afraid to take it too fast because they fear that the person will later divorce them and take all of their money? I wouldn't know cuz I've never dated a sx/sp. However I've dated quite a few sx/so people and they seem to put you through more tests than the SAT's. Pain in the ass.

I do my push and pulling in the very beginning as part of the 'dance' to get to know you. Sx-sps tend to just go for gold when they see something they like. However, when they suddenly notice its too close for their own comfort, they bolt. They seem to go through this process quite a few times as they get comfortable with that person (and as sx-so, perhaps because I'm rather comfortable with intimacy, it never fully ends, it's a perpetual dance that eventually you get in sync with and has its own dynamic intimacy ime). Once they commit on you though, yes, then they'll go full speed ahead, usually. Also, they're likely to only do this with *one* person, their spouse (at least to that level of intimacy), whereas as an sx-so, I tend to do this with friends as well (clearly not *as* intimate, but intimate enough for others to get spooked occasionally).

Elfboy
06-10-2013, 04:45 AM
Actually, sp-sx just keeps you at arms length at all times, until they decide that you're for them, then they move pretty darn fast. Sx-sp comes close, realises its close, runs, comes close, etc. Their sp protectiveness kicks in as a last resort, or so it seems. They have that same aloofness as sp-sx, but they do not start off with it, meaning you trigger it later on, as they still have that urge to bond.
The people who repped me were a mix of extroverts and introverts, fwiw. And I know several others who have the same dynamic. I tend to be a fan of sx-sp and sp-sx, so I keep in mind that they'll buck and break free a couple of times before they decide on me, even when they look like they're good for the moment.
even with strong Sp, no Sx dom is naturally afraid of intimacy. their Sp doesn't feel like it needs to "protect" them from moving too fast

Amargith
06-10-2013, 04:46 AM
even with strong Sp, no Sx dom is naturally afraid of intimacy. their Sp doesn't feel like it needs to "protect" them from moving too fast

:shrug: I know several sx-sps that say otherwise.


Edit: Time to retreat from this thread. Enjoy yourselves :)

chana
06-11-2013, 12:20 AM
even with strong Sp, no Sx dom is naturally afraid of intimacy. their Sp doesn't feel like it needs to "protect" them from moving too fast

I don't agree with this.

Elfboy
06-11-2013, 12:33 AM
I don't agree with this.

perhaps it's a male/female thing. females in general are typically more cautious about sexuality than men are (because, from a biological perspective, they have more to lose)

chana
06-11-2013, 12:39 AM
perhaps it's a male/female thing. females in general are typically more cautious about sexuality than men are (because, from a biological perspective, they have more to lose)

I wasn't equating intimacy with sex. Pretty much everything I've read about sx/sp has mentioned the "push-pull" thing, also that sx-first can manifest the opposite way- as a fear of intimacy.

DiscoBiscuit
06-11-2013, 01:12 AM
When you really start to connect with someone, it's almost like passing the event horizon in a black hole.

Elfboy
06-11-2013, 01:16 AM
I wasn't equating intimacy with sex. Pretty much everything I've read about sx/sp has mentioned the "push-pull" thing, also that sx-first can manifest the opposite way- as a fear of intimacy.
you weren't equating intimacy (at least, sexual intimacy) with sex, but the two are related and controlled by the same instincts.

for me, the push-pull has to do with direct Sp related consequences, such as
- "whoa! I'm spending way too much time with this person and it's fucking up my sleep and study habits. time to analyze a bit"
- "fuck! this guy might have an STD! gotta check that shit"
- "dammit! I'm spending too much money going to see this guy/paying for meals (even if we split the bill)"

it's never something like "oh no! I'm getting close too fast!" the closer I get to my prey, the sooner I can eat :devil:

chana
06-11-2013, 01:24 AM
you weren't equating intimacy (at least, sexual intimacy) with sex, but the two are related and controlled by the same instincts.

for me, the push-pull has to do with direct Sp related consequences, such as
- "whoa! I'm spending way too much time with this person and it's fucking up my sleep and study habits. time to analyze a bit"
- "fuck! this guy might have an STD! gotta check that shit"
- "dammit! I'm spending too much money going to see this guy/paying for meals (even if we split the bill)"

it's never something like "oh no! I'm getting close too fast!" the closer I get to my prey, the sooner I can eat :devil:

Self-preservation means that your priority is to protect yourself from harm. It doesn't necessarily have to do with very literal, physical needs like that. Relationships with deep emotional intimacy require vulnerability, which opens you up to the risk of getting hurt. That's where the push-pull dynamic comes from. It's not about being afraid of the actual intimacy part, but the risk of heartbreak, failure, wasted time, etc.

Plenty of people have sex with no emotional intimacy attached whatsoever, so I can't agree that they're controlled by the same instinct.

Elfboy
06-11-2013, 02:03 AM
Plenty of people have sex with no emotional intimacy attached whatsoever, so I can't agree that they're controlled by the same instinct.

it's called the Sexual Instinct for a reason. they have sex because they get turned on which, in and of itself, is one of many forms of "spark" that the Sexual instinct can ignite (albeit, if it's not accompanied by something else, it's usually not enough for an Sx dom to want to chase). the difference is that just straight up sex is simply fulfilling the Sexual instinct on the most basic level and still leaves then feeling hungry, dissatisfied and unfulfilled (cheap sex is the Sx equivalent of fast food)

that said, I should have used the word "spark" as opposed to "intimacy" which is also related to both Sp and So in different ways. wanting a long term partner, for example, is an Sp desire. the natural tendency of Sx is to indulge whatever gives them the strongest chemistry in the moment (not saying they're all hedonistic sluts, but I am saying they will more tempted to cheat than other types if they meet someone else they really click with in a time when the lack of energy in their relationship is leaving them cold). it should also be noted that being 1-1 is as much an Sp preference as it is an Sx preference (Sp/Sx, for example, is far more 1-1 than Sx/So, which often prefers large, energetic crowds and multiple sources of passionate energy)

Starry
06-11-2013, 02:40 AM
The Great One - You do not need to respond to this (although knowing you - you probably will haha) nor do I expect you to agree but here's the thing: If you were to look-up 7w6 so/sx the chances that you would see a photograph of yourself...right there next to the description...are extraordinarily high.



you weren't equating intimacy (at least, sexual intimacy) with sex, but the two are related and controlled by the same instincts.

for me, the push-pull has to do with direct Sp related consequences, such as
- "whoa! I'm spending way too much time with this person and it's fucking up my sleep and study habits. time to analyze a bit"
- "fuck! this guy might have an STD! gotta check that shit"
- "dammit! I'm spending too much money going to see this guy/paying for meals (even if we split the bill)"

it's never something like "oh no! I'm getting close too fast!" the closer I get to my prey, the sooner I can eat :devil:

Elfboy, it is true that you have opened yourself up to it/welcomed it by starting numerous 'type Elfboy' threads...still, I must say that one of the things I have appreciated from you is the fact you seem to remain good-natured or whatever when people (me) present you with opinions on your type that appear to be far removed from what you imagine for yourself.

I'm fairly certain you remember what type I believe you to be...although no, I'm not going to address that but rather speak to you as a fellow ENFP 7w6 sx...save this one bit. I do not think you are an sx/sp but rather sx/so. <--But that's it. Painless...like ripping off a band-aid.

So, you and I share the exact same type now! haha. Two ENFP 7w6 sx/sps... And I will tell you that what Amargith says with regards to sx/sp...(and all the reps agreed with) is entirely true. In your defense (?) though...I truly believe that when it comes to ExxPs (or IxFPs that are balanced in Ne/Fi or Se/Fi)...it takes far longer to start internally experiencing and outwardly demonstrating sp yank back the reigns on sx. Ne or Se moves towards --> + sx moves towards --> = a whole lot of 'moving towards' stuff. With that kind of force moving you at 100 miles an hour into the future...I will say it takes us a little longer to accumulate enough bad experiences for that sp hair-trigger to kick in. In other words, when I was your age I entered new relationships by spontaneously-appearing and saying 'Hi, we're together now!' (I have no idea...) **Please remain mindful of what I said instinctual variant wise up above...give it some consideration... But at the same time I will give you that I was older...before I started to notice sp slamming on the brakes.

I'm also not aloof...I'm acutely aware of when I'm connecting with someone. What DiscoBiscuit said above was perfect really... Beautiful in that kinda creepy sx way haha. But yah...get your heart served-up all Ginsued and on a platter one time... and you'll probably notice your game changes. In all relationships not just romantic...I'll take one...maybe two steps forward nowadays...but if the other person doesn't rise-up to meet me... sp puts an end to it rather quickly.

Edit: If you are truly sx/sp but haven't experienced a heartbreak or betrayal...you may still know what the experience is like. We are the kids that have a harder time getting back onto our bikes...having been so excited to ride and so confused and disappointed to have fallen.

Seymour
06-11-2013, 02:59 AM
it's called the Sexual Instinct for a reason. they have sex because they get turned on which, in and of itself, is one of many forms of "spark" that the Sexual instinct can ignite (albeit, if it's not accompanied by something else, it's usually not enough for an Sx dom to want to chase). the difference is that just straight up sex is simply fulfilling the Sexual instinct on the most basic level and still leaves then feeling hungry, dissatisfied and unfulfilled (cheap sex is the Sx equivalent of fast food)


I think in the above (and several other posts) you are getting Sx-dom confused with "horny male under 25" (as well as mixing in aspects of your type in other ways). I think Sx is about intense, deep connections, not just getting off with a stranger. As enneagraminstitute puts it:



The key element in Sexual types is an intense drive for stimulation and a constant awareness of the "chemistry" between themselves and others. Sexual types are immediately aware of the attraction, or lack thereof, between themselves and other people. Further, while the basis of this instinct is related to sexuality, it is not necessarily about people engaging in the sexual act. There are many people that we are excited to be around for reasons of personal chemistry that we have no intention of "getting involved with." Nonetheless, we might be aware that we feel stimulated in certain people's company and less so in others. The sexual type is constantly moving toward that sense of intense stimulation and juicy energy in their relationships and in their activities. [emphasis mine]


It's much more a tendency toward seeking intimacy and intensity (in many forms), rather than being about casual sex per se (although sexuality is certainly a theme). It can also manifest as a lack of moderation when pursuing interests, especially for those who are Sp-last.

Also note that some Sx's may be less obvious and dramatic. A type 5 or 9 Sx may be relatively understated in most environments compared to a 3, 7 or 8 Sx (for example). Not every Sx is a competitive drama queen.



that said, I should have used the word "spark" as opposed to "intimacy" which is also related to both Sp and So in different ways. wanting a long term partner, for example, is an Sp desire. the natural tendency of Sx is to indulge whatever gives them the strongest chemistry in the moment (not saying they're all hedonistic sluts, but I am saying they will more tempted to cheat than other types if they meet someone else they really click with in a time when the lack of energy in their relationship is leaving them cold). it should also be noted that being 1-1 is as much an Sp preference as it is an Sx preference (Sp/Sx, for example, is far more 1-1 than Sx/So, which often prefers large, energetic crowds and multiple sources of passionate energy)

I would agree that Sx-doms struggle more with long term monogamy, but that doesn't mean they necessarily replace it with casual sex. It might just be emotional affairs, overly-intense friendships, etc. And I wouldn't say the desire for a long term partner is unnatural for an Sx (since the desire to connect and merge is both significant and seems immutable in the moment)... it's the reality that it's difficult to maintain intensity and intimacy and long-term relationship that's difficult. The whole "merging" concept is an important part of Sx, and that's means merging on as many levels as possible.

As far as Sx and "push/pull": note that 4s, in particular, tend towards push-pull. In particular, they tend to idealize the absent, but disdain the available (especially since what's available regularly quickly slides toward the mundane). So, push/pull doesn't necessarily mean Sx/Sp or Sp/Sx—especially for a 4!

Elfboy
06-11-2013, 04:50 AM
Starry
I am definitely not Sp last. I value security (in more than just the wing 6-ish sense), am acutely aware of danger, have always managed my finances like a pro (I'm an accounting major and great at it so far lol), easily grasp long term consequences of stupid shit my So/Sx and Sx/So friends (some of whom have been ENxP and INxJ) wanted to do and am good at thinking like a survivalist. if anything, the case for Sp first is not totally closed

Sx/So 7 is the most risk taking, impulsive "live like you're going to die tomorrow" type on the entire enneagram

just ask The Great One
or Maybe
I'm Sp as hell

Thursday
06-11-2013, 04:50 AM
In jest, you know you're an SX dom when your bio should be titled "Fucking and Punching"

small.wonder
06-11-2013, 09:24 PM
Well, reading through this thread was interesting and annoying. As a couple people have already stated, the Sx instinct is so much more about intensity and chemistry than sex. I'm So last, yet hesitant to accept that I'm Sx first mainly because of the mis-interpereted bandwagon I've found it to be. :dry:

That being said, I can relate to a lot of the characteristics (and I can't see Sp being first for me). I'm neither fool-hardy (mostly) or hyper security conscious, I'll lock the front door but won't prop a chair under the knob (like my Sp-first Mom would). The main reasons I think I'm Sx first are:

1) the awareness of chemistry (attraction or repellant) between myself and others. Even after 3 years of intentional single-ness (that's another story), I automatically gauge this when surrounded by people. I truly think its the only reason I can endure social situations, and I usually end up conversing in a small group or w/ one other person.

2) My tendency to be drawn to one specific person, even a little obsessively. I usually do this from afar and though I can tell they feel it/see me, I won't approach unless I have a legitimate reason to do so (that's the Sp-second part of my stacking, and some of my 4 fears). I've been doing this unconsciously since elementary school, sending out strong vibes to people who interested me or who I am attracted to-- usually requiring them to say the first word. This isn't out of selfishness, or a power thing. It's truly because I'm terrified of being hurt or deemed insignificant (4 much?). Some of this fear comes from having experienced a co-dependent relationship, and never wanting to again. That makes for a very weird blend of intense desire for intimacy, and a strong caution of my own ability to over-attach.

3) Any time I've tried to explain this unspoken language to friends or classmates, they wrote it off as wistful or silly. I even wondered if it was all in my head as a teenager, that spark or "jello-like" moment of time slowing; even for just a momentary encounter of catching someone, catching me, looking at each other.

4) I'm very drawn to intensity in other places, weather and nature are perfect examples-- storms, wild animals and natural landscapes effect me deeply. I feel sometimes like I drink in thunderstorms. I have no idea if that relates to Sx, but the feeling is similar to when I make eye contact w/ someone intriguing.

There's more to it, but I'm fairly sure I am Sx/Sp.

Elfboy
06-13-2013, 11:23 PM
I think in the above (and several other posts) you are getting Sx-dom confused with "horny male under 25" (as well as mixing in aspects of your type in other ways). I think Sx is about intense, deep connections, not just getting off with a stranger. As enneagraminstitute puts it:
"it's much more a tendency toward seeking intimacy and intensity (in many forms), rather than being about casual sex per se (although sexuality is certainly a theme). It can also manifest as a lack of moderation when pursuing interests, especially for those who are Sp-last."
intimacy is actually related to all 3 types in different ways. I'll leave this here from this thread:
http://personalitycafe.com/newreply.php?do=postreply&t=118168

Manifest in 3 Zones, and distortions:
1) Edge/Aggression/ Pushing the envelope - Moving towards what draws you energetically, drive towards what is exciting and interesting, element of risk, of overcoming boundaries, destructive. Salmon swimming upstream to and die. Most aggressive version of their type. There's an element of risk and exhaustion. Jealousy and Competition, over-aggression, over-spending energy, can be heartless, this is hunter-prey dynamic. Everything else sidelined. Recklessness.

2) Broadcasting/Charisma - Display, broadcasting one's energy and reading the energy of others (not attunement - that is social, this is "where's the juice?"), phallic sending out signals of one's "feathers", what one is all about. Trying to intrigue and being intrigued. Peacocking. *this is not being aware of the other, attuned, connected or bonded*. Where the other "is at" is social. Projecting energy, trying to attract, "feelers" out looking for the juice. Trying to draw you in, like energetic "pheromones".

3) Immersion/Fusion - completely absorbed, immersion, not just in others but in passions. without the heart center it becomes spiraling, self-absorption, tends to mix with narcissistic issues, tries to resolve left over childhood b.s. Male mantis being eaten by females, male spiders being eaten by females. The question is what do I fusing with? You don't fuse with just anything (there's a picky-ness here... hunter waits for prey... finding the right game, the perfect mate, the right spark. It's not connection. There is a specific intelligence to the attraction, see my example below of plagues and arranged marriages), the nature of the attraction-immersion is that there is a specific something that draws attraction and immersion is sought in.

Once resources are gathered by SP, they want to be used, activated. Doing something with them is social.

-[/COLOR]Russ said about 50 percent of people who think they're sexual aren't, social in most cases, misunderstanding the two instincts, which is not their fault, fault of teachings.

Being turned on, spending energy, driven to spend energy, not a choice.
[B]Chemistry and fusion, not intimacy.

-Attracting and being attracted. Also repelling. Time to hunt, mate and go out - aggression and competition - Display - flowers are an example.

-In presence, we're drawn to what makes more life and energy, when we're distorted, we move to what gives the ego more energy.

-To be used up by existence, fused with essence, letting no barriers get in the way. Nothing stops you from union with the beloved.
Surrender, obliterated by beloved, going all the way.

-In sex, we can't be intact.

-Sx is the part of us that doesn't tolerate veils and barriers. The transforming, creative force. competition is the engine of evolution. Breaks things up, shakes things up, sexual is a destabilizing force, but also reconstitution.

Sexual is the reconstituting of separate elements coming together in new ways - creativity.

energy that gets us off our ass, fascinated.

Instinctual wisdom and intelligence - Jess and Russ talked about cultures with arranged marriages, more so and sp than sx, and how that made those cultures more susceptible to being wiped out by plagues. attraction has intelligence.
-intensity - intense about what? intensity needed because intimacy can't be felt.
high sx-people have erratic lives

[B]-social instinct is affection and tenderness. sexual is an energetic synergy. The sexual is not discriminating, because that implies choice, which is social. the sexual has no choice about what it's attracted to, but the instinct has strong attracts and strong repulsions (i'm not saying sexual is interested in everything, more like the opposite - sexual is attracted to very specific elements, but as far as the WHY or the pursuit of that attraction, there is little to no control. Likewise, the sexual instinct has an incredibly hard time engaging with something it's not attracted to.)


sx-last: postponing the sexual. Not that one doesn't have sx, have passion, have attraction, but it's constantly postponed, corked. passion is kept in a jar. Sx-last person feels unattractive, ashamed, unconscious "I'm boring and lucky to have friends". Sexual can always be talked out of - "I would pursue this, but my work/this person needs me." Seems disruptive or unruly. SX is done self-consciously.

3 Levels of Development:
1) Unconscious - seeking peaks states of energy and intensity to point of self-destruction, or neurotic about where the energy fix is coming from, manipulating, forcing, hung-up on how to squeeze most intensity. obsession with object. addiction to object of attraction.
2) Growing - activated energy for creation and fulfillment, energy that undoes the log-jams.
3) Illuminated - be on wave of creative life force, energy fully engaged in awakening, sx generated in service of essence, the real juice is awakening. complete transmission. Sacred Prostitute - Jess mentioned Virgina Satir - said she wouldn't work with a client if she couldn't imagine making love to them, otherwise there would not be a complete transmission.

some examples that were mentioned:-

sx 3 "doing" desirability, becoming something to be the ideal mate. shaping oneself into ideal mate of object of attraction.
sx 4 hardest time being practical, run by their attraction, "come here, see if you can handle me" hard to handle pride. i'm not willing to be civilized.
sx 6 anxiety about attractiveness, sx 6 males can seem 8ish, not necessarily counterphobic, leather jackets, motorcycles, bruce springsteen-esque tough guy, but 'feminine' coyishness and being undone in love and romance. SX 6 females, cultivating attractiveness and highly feminine with a toyboyish streak to undermine it, 'protesting' their own strategy - "i hate being pretty" but also wanting to be the prettiest.
sx 9 - conflict of autonomy and boundaries and fusion. Sloth and fusion. Most aggressive 9, can seem unlike typical 9. Fusing, losing oneself in fusion, "waking up" and reclaiming boundaries. Triangulation is common - "I love two people and can't chose between either" as a way of keeping boundaries while also keeping the blame off themselves for causing this conflict "if i make this choice, i hurt person X, or this choice, person Y. i can't help what i feel."





Also note that some Sx's may be less obvious and dramatic. A type 5 or 9 Sx may be relatively understated in most environments compared to a 3, 7 or 8 Sx (for example). Not every Sx is a competitive drama queen.
Sx doms are obvious and dramatic compared to other members of their type. for example, compare Gillian Anderson (5w6 Sx/Sp) with Isaac Asimov (5w6 So/Sp)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdamKY5dyzs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CwUuU6C4pk

on the forum, compare
LeaT and Such Irony


I would agree that Sx-doms struggle more with long term monogamy, but that doesn't mean they necessarily replace it with casual sex.
never said they did. at least not casual as in "eh, I don't know you, let's have sex". it has to be with someone they really vibe with and be hot, passionate sex that they are not getting from their partner


It might just be emotional affairs, overly-intense friendships, etc.
there's no such thing as an emotional affair


And I wouldn't say the [B]desire for a long term partner is unnatural for an Sx (since the desire to connect and merge is both significant and seems immutable in the moment)... it's the reality that it's difficult to maintain intensity and intimacy and long-term relationship that's difficult.
I thought I said that, guess not. but yeah, this is pretty much my point


The whole "merging" concept is an important part of Sx, and that's means merging on as many levels as possible.
yup, I agree


As far as Sx and "push/pull": note that 4s, in particular, tend towards push-pull. In particular, they tend to idealize the absent, but disdain the available (especially since what's available regularly quickly slides toward the mundane). So, push/pull doesn't necessarily mean Sx/Sp or Sp/Sx—especially for a 4
agreed

Kamishi
06-14-2013, 10:10 AM
Elfboy on the other hand, sx 5s are the least obvious sx types out of the subtypes since 5s look the same in general, although sx 5 is the non-5 out of the 5s. I also think there are other aspects that makes me different to Such Irony such as tritype combination and Jungian type, assuming Such Irony is properly typed across the systems.

The Great One
06-14-2013, 07:00 PM
Webslinger


At a certain degree, won't any instinctual combination start playing hot and cold if they're unhealthy enough? I read somewhere that damaged sx can recoil from intimacy with all the power that they used to seek it with.

Maybe but it's strongly associated with the sx/so types and especially 6w7 sx/so (they're the worst).

Amargith


Actually, sp-sx just keeps you at arms length at all times, until they decide that you're for them, then they move pretty darn fast. Sx-sp comes close, realises its close, runs, comes close, etc. Their sp protectiveness kicks in as a last resort, or so it seems. They have that same aloofness as sp-sx, but they do not start off with it, meaning you trigger it later on, as they still have that urge to bond.
The people who repped me were a mix of extroverts and introverts, fwiw. And I know several others who have the same dynamic. I tend to be a fan of sx-sp and sp-sx, so I keep in mind that they'll buck and break free a couple of times before they decide on me, even when they look like they're good for the moment.


I agree that sp/sx keeps you at an arms length at all times. This seems to reminiscent of the sp doms in general. However, where on earth did you get these ideas about the sx/sp types?

chana


I wasn't equating intimacy with sex. Pretty much everything I've read about sx/sp has mentioned the "push-pull" thing, also that sx-first can manifest the opposite way- as a fear of intimacy.

Can you show me where you read this? I'm not doubting it's true, I have just never heard of it before.

chana
06-14-2013, 07:13 PM
The Great One


This is perhaps the most internally conflicted of the stackings, and potentially the most inconsistent in behavior. This may occur as a blockage of the sexual instinct which can be redirected as a more generally brooding and troubled personality. They may isolate themselves for long periods of time before reemerging. They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern. They seem to be searching for something, the missing piece. If they find a soulmate they will unite without fanfare, forming a secret bond, dealing with formalities as an afterthought. Powerful sexual impulses facing inner resistance may manifest symbolically in the psyche, giving way to soulful interpretations of the unconscious. Under periods of stress severe sexual tensions may manifest as erratic, impulsively destructive behavior. Can seem restless, torn between the comforts of a stable home life and the urge to wander. May be prone to self-medicating.
Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union.
Familiar roles: the devotee, the seeker, the wanderer
Examples of sx/sp: Prince, Carl Jung, Johnny Depp, Ozzy Osbourne, Johnny Cash, Joan Crawford, Princess Di, Marilyn Monroe, Janis Joplin, Frollo from "Hunchback of Notre Dame"

The Great One
06-14-2013, 07:20 PM
Elfboy




you weren't equating intimacy (at least, sexual intimacy) with sex, but the two are related and controlled by the same instincts.

for me, the push-pull has to do with direct Sp related consequences, such as
- "whoa! I'm spending way too much time with this person and it's fucking up my sleep and study habits. time to analyze a bit"
- "fuck! this guy might have an STD! gotta check that shit"
- "dammit! I'm spending too much money going to see this guy/paying for meals (even if we split the bill)"

it's never something like "oh no! I'm getting close too fast!" the closer I get to my prey, the sooner I can eat

Yes, I relate a lot to this.


it's called the Sexual Instinct for a reason. they have sex because they get turned on which, in and of itself, is one of many forms of "spark" that the Sexual instinct can ignite (albeit, if it's not accompanied by something else, it's usually not enough for an Sx dom to want to chase). the difference is that just straight up sex is simply fulfilling the Sexual instinct on the most basic level and still leaves then feeling hungry, dissatisfied and unfulfilled (cheap sex is the Sx equivalent of fast food)

that said, I should have used the word "spark" as opposed to "intimacy" which is also related to both Sp and So in different ways. wanting a long term partner, for example, is an Sp desire. the natural tendency of Sx is to indulge whatever gives them the strongest chemistry in the moment (not saying they're all hedonistic sluts, but I am saying they will more tempted to cheat than other types if they meet someone else they really click with in a time when the lack of energy in their relationship is leaving them cold). it should also be noted that being 1-1 is as much an Sp preference as it is an Sx preference (Sp/Sx, for example, is far more 1-1 than Sx/So, which often prefers large, energetic crowds and multiple sources of passionate energy)

Personally I've always been on the fence about whether the constant lust for sex is related to the sx variant. I mean after all, the sx variant is all about deep connection, and sex is a very strong way to connect with someone (at least it is for me). However, on the other hand chana has a point and people can just fuck and have completely empty sex as well and do it all the time just for purely hedonistic reasons. My question is this though: "How do you differentiate an sx dom or someone with strong sx who is unhealthy and going on sexual adventures from the sx last people who have sex for reasons of only pure hedonism?"

Starry

1.Elfboy is right is not SP last. I talk to him all the time on the phone and this man is self-pres as hell, and even moreso he is social last. The man has literally no idea what's going on in the world around him EVER. He also couldn't understand social webs of "this guy knows this guy, who knows that guy" to save his life.

2. Yes, I agree that on the outside I look so/sx 7w6 as fuck. When to comparing myself to possibly another ENTP 7w6, 3w2, 9w8 so/sx (Craig Ferguson) we look almost identical in terms of energy and behavior. However, I seem to have strong self pres and I'm really questioning whether or not I am actually an sx dom.

small.wonder

I always get these types of definitions of sx from NF's. However, I'm wondering if many sx defintions have an nf bias though because I know many NT and STP sx doms that wouldn't really relate as much to these sx descriptons. I'm wondering if sx can manifest itself in these particular types in a different way?

chana
06-14-2013, 07:41 PM
Honestly I feel that elfboy's understanding of this is being clouded by having a kinda juvenile attitude towards sexual/romantic relationships. Emotional intimacy can exist without sex, and sex definitely exists without intimacy all the fucking time.

And being sx-first doesn't make somebody immune to being afraid of intimacy either, I feel like he's describing some movie character and not a real human being.

Elfboy
06-14-2013, 07:49 PM
Honestly I feel that elfboy's understanding of this is being clouded by having a kinda juvenile attitude towards sexual/romantic relationships. Emotional intimacy can exist without sex, and sex definitely exists without intimacy all the fucking time.
that's a rather condescending way of saying you disagree with me. of course intimacy can exist without sex, but the Sexual craves sex. not just "yay! we're holding hands and spending intimate time together". it wants to take things as far as it can go, and this usually involves sex.


And being sx-first doesn't make somebody immune to being afraid of intimacy either, I feel like he's describing some movie character and not a real human being.
can they become afraid of intimacy due to life experience, such as being hurt in the past: yes
are they naturally afraid of intimacy: no

you think I'm describing a movie character because I use colorful language that you think is over the top. this has little to do with my understanding and more to do with my personality


This is perhaps the most internally conflicted of the stackings, and potentially the most inconsistent in behavior. This may occur as a blockage of the sexual instinct which can be redirected as a more generally brooding and troubled personality. They may isolate themselves for long periods of time before reemerging. They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern. They seem to be searching for something, the missing piece. If they find a soulmate they will unite without fanfare, forming a secret bond, dealing with formalities as an afterthought. Powerful sexual impulses facing inner resistance may manifest symbolically in the psyche, giving way to soulful interpretations of the unconscious. Under periods of stress severe sexual tensions may manifest as erratic, impulsively destructive behavior. Can seem restless, torn between the comforts of a stable home life and the urge to wander. May be prone to self-medicating.
Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union.
Familiar roles: the devotee, the seeker, the wanderer
Examples of sx/sp: Prince, Carl Jung, Johnny Depp, Ozzy Osbourne, Johnny Cash, Joan Crawford, Princess Di, Marilyn Monroe, Janis Joplin, Frollo from "Hunchback of Notre Dame"

I don't disagree with any of this (I can relate to the withdrawn, troubled brooding that can make me look Sp), but the tension and under the surface intensity are still evident in all of the examples given here.

chana
06-14-2013, 08:03 PM
that's a rather condescending way of saying you disagree with me. of course intimacy can exist without sex, but the Sexual craves sex. not just "yay! we're holding hands and spending intimate time together". it wants to take things as far as it can go, and this usually involves sex.


can they become afraid of intimacy due to life experience, such as being hurt in the past: yes
are they naturally afraid of intimacy: no

you think I'm describing a movie character because I use colorful language that you think is over the top. this has little to do with my understanding and more to do with my personality

Im trying to understand where you're coming from, and I can't help but think your judgement is being clouded by the fact that you're inexperienced in that area. Or that you've admitted to being attracted to only teenage boys..

What you're saying about life experience being what causes people to be afraid of intimacy, yes I agree with that but I was assuming that it happens pretty often. Maybe that's cynicism, but it's pretty rare to find someone completely optimistic towards dating/sex/whatever. Especially today.

The movie character thing wasn't about your language just how one-dimensional you make people sound. Plus weren't you sp-first like last week?

The Great One
06-14-2013, 08:06 PM
Honestly I feel that elfboy's understanding of this is being clouded by having a kinda juvenile attitude towards sexual/romantic relationships. Emotional intimacy can exist without sex, and sex definitely exists without intimacy all the fucking time.

And being sx-first doesn't make somebody immune to being afraid of intimacy either, I feel like he's describing some movie character and not a real human being.

I'm sorry but I tend to agree with him. Most of the Sp/so and so/sp types that I talk to could really give less of a damn about sex. I definitely believe that there is at least some type of correlation between sx and the physical act of sex.

Elfboy
06-14-2013, 08:10 PM
Im trying to understand where you're coming from, and I can't help but think your judgement is being clouded by the fact that you're inexperienced in that area. Or that you've admitted to being attracted to only teenage boys..
I made no judgment at all. I'm simply saying "this is what the Sx instinct is". I'm not looking at it from a personal standpoint


What you're saying about life experience being what causes people to be afraid of intimacy, yes I agree with that but I was assuming that it happens pretty often. Maybe that's cynicism, but it's pretty rare to find someone completely optimistic towards dating/sex/whatever. Especially today.
jaded by life experience or not, an Sx dom will still either pull towards intimacy or go counter-intimacy, fighting their own tendencies. both manifestations are intense, show up in the person's demeanor and are easy to spot with a little observation


The movie character thing wasn't about your language just how one-dimensional you make people sound. Plus weren't you sp-first like last week?
I didn't make it sound one dimensional at all. I made it sound like an instinct rather than the kind of conscious awareness and behavioral preference it's usually made out to be.

chana
06-14-2013, 08:15 PM
I'm sorry but I tend to agree with him. Most of the Sp/so and so/sp types that I talk to could really give less of a damn about sex. I definitely believe that there is at least some type of correlation between sx and the physical act of sex.

Sure, but sex isn't always about the physical. It can be about social status; for some people having a lot of partners makes them seem cooler or more powerful, sometimes having sex with the right people helps you get into a social group or become more popular. It can get you money, free food, jobs, gifts, vacations etc. and some people just need the physical release but there's nothing passionate about it and they'd prefer the person to leave right after.

It's not as simple as you're all making it out to be. I'm sx-first and less promiscuous than a lot of sx-last people I can think of. I don't like going a long time without but it doesn't make me willing to settle for less than I want.

Amargith
06-14-2013, 09:36 PM
[MENTION=5494]Amargith

I agree that sp/sx keeps you at an arms length at all times. This seems to reminiscent of the sp doms in general. However, where on earth did you get these ideas about the sx/sp types?


I dunno, perhaps from the sx-sps who tell me, show me and use those behavior patterns on me? :thinking:

I happen to be fond of the breed and ocassionally the feeling happens to be mutual, see.

The Great One
06-14-2013, 09:54 PM
Sure, but sex isn't always about the physical. It can be about social status; for some people having a lot of partners makes them seem cooler or more powerful, sometimes having sex with the right people helps you get into a social group or become more popular. It can get you money, free food, jobs, gifts, vacations etc. and some people just need the physical release but there's nothing passionate about it and they'd prefer the person to leave right after.

It's not as simple as you're all making it out to be. I'm sx-first and less promiscuous than a lot of sx-last people I can think of. I don't like going a long time without but it doesn't make me willing to settle for less than I want.

True. I agree with this.

Starry
06-15-2013, 09:19 PM
Starry

1.Elfboy is right is not SP last. I talk to him all the time on the phone and this man is self-pres as hell, and even moreso he is social last. The man has literally no idea what's going on in the world around him EVER. He also couldn't understand social webs of "this guy knows this guy, who knows that guy" to save his life.

2. Yes, I agree that on the outside I look so/sx 7w6 as fuck. When to comparing myself to possibly another ENTP 7w6, 3w2, 9w8 so/sx (Craig Ferguson) we look almost identical in terms of energy and behavior. However, I seem to have strong self pres and I'm really questioning whether or not I am actually an sx dom.

Umm... I guess I'll first say...that I don't believe there's anything 'harmful' or 'detrimental' (I don't even know what words to use)...in being a mistyped individual. Like, if I believed I was an ISTJ 1w2 sp/so...and idk...whatever I did in the name of self-improvement stemmed from that belief and was in-line with what actual ISTJ 1w2s commonly reported as being beneficial by way of personal growth... <--I wouldn't even consider that a waste of time as so much of this is kinda over-arching anyway. iow, the point of all of this isn't found in the details of type...but rather in the ongoing state of mindfulness the study of personality theory seems to afford an individual. If it is important to you, however, to truly know... well, at least as it pertains to this thread I would suggest listening closely and with an open mind to what chana and Amargith are saying... (You will know your type when it stops feeling like tight, uncomfortable clothing. When you are no longer trying to get it to stick and mold to your form...all while proclaiming 'see how well this fits me!')

I'm not as familiar with you Great One as I am Elfboy...but you appear to have taken on some of Elfboy's misunderstandings as they are related to type. <--And when I say that I mean absolutely no disrespect to Elfboy and he knows this because I have said this to him many times. Elfboy is one hell of an *unique* individual... yet no matter how hard I may try haha...I can't not respect his tenacity and the fact that his strength is inherent and not dependent on anything outside of himself to sustain it. Now, he will come back here and say 'No Starry, I'm ENFP as fuck'...and I'll be here waiting for it. But I've only ever seen that brand of 'self-sustaining individualism' in the Fi dom. My point though is, I say what I say knowing full well he is strong enough to handle it (if he were to examine what I say at all)...and I can't not respect that. I also think anyone that underestimates his intelligence is foolish...but he is young and yes, I think he's got quite a bit wrong at this point in time. More than youth though, I've seen him provided a good deal of commentary regarding his type that, in my opinion, is really bad. But it's his powerful connection to e3 that I assign the majority of the blame. It's bizarre in a way because I see an incredible amount of integrity in him...yet at the exact same time he can also sorta become this or that because of that e3 bastard on his back. He'll work it out...there is no doubt in my mind... but as for now, yes. I feel much of his current understanding of the various aspects of personality theory are still subject to e3s compulsion to turn everything into *e3 images* which are specifically designed to be applied and removed and are superficial and based on other images within the environment. Again, he will work this all out.

sp is not correlated with success. In fact, I would go so far as saying...if you are interested in the accumulation of wealth and status and leisure...leisure that makes sense because you actually have the means to kick back and relax...then you better hope and pray you are not sp 2nd...as sp 2nd is going to be the one placement that will fuck that all up for you the fasted. [edit: whoops I should clarify here and say sp trailing sx. so/sp is not what I'm referring to here with regards to material gain.]

As others here have said...sx isn't correlated with getting tons of play. If you only knew how many sx/sps are monks and other religious people (I don't know other titles haha). This stems from all the internal conflict...that neither of you have. Both of your energy flows freely all in one direction which is so/sx or sx/so. The sx/sp is also referred to as the wanderer. The internal conflict often causes them to completely disengage and search endlessly for that missing piece. Both of you seem quite present. Your energy and focus...Great One is scattered but it is scattered in the social realm. And being scattered in the social realm still means you can be over-sexed and desiring of things with which to 'protect' yourself with. I see zero self-preservational characteristics in you or Elfboy although Elfboy has the intensified focus of the sexual dom. Neither one of you present with those *snags* in energy that are the hallmark of sx/sp.

And finally, Great One... I couldn't say for certain (and would actually be interested in seeing some test scores) what your actual MBTI is... but I know a glutton when I see one...being one myself. Still, it may take a while for all of this to unfold in you and Elfboy's preview. And I think that's fine.

Elfboy
06-15-2013, 09:44 PM
no Starry, I'm ENFP as fuck ;)
the unconditional self assuredness is related to E7 and E8. it is also related to Fi, but not necessarily on a cognitive level. if you talked to me in person, you'd see I'm pretty extroverted and have the bouncy mind of an Ne dom

on a side note, I think you, like many people, misunderstand type 3 and are assigning characteristics to 3 which are, once again, E7. did you ever read that article I posted in the head center forum about what type 7 is really about?

Sp is about
- survival
- comfort
- security
- domesticity/predictability
- physical safety
- competence
- risk management

also, my energy is very conflicted. many people who have talked to me over the phone said that I came off like an Sp/So at times.

The Great One
06-16-2013, 02:44 AM
Starry


I'm not as familiar with you Great One as I am @Elfboy...but you appear to have taken on some of Elfboy's misunderstandings as they are related to type. <--And when I say that I mean absolutely no disrespect to Elfboy and he knows this because I have said this to him many times. Elfboy is one hell of an *unique* individual... yet no matter how hard I may try haha...I can't not respect his tenacity and the fact that his strength is inherent and not dependent on anything outside of himself to sustain it. Now, he will come back here and say 'No Starry, I'm ENFP as fuck'...and I'll be here waiting for it. But I've only ever seen that brand of 'self-sustaining individualism' in the Fi dom. My point though is, I say what I say knowing full well he is strong enough to handle it (if he were to examine what I say at all)...and I can't not respect that. I also think anyone that underestimates his intelligence is foolish...but he is young and yes, I think he's got quite a bit wrong at this point in time. More than youth though, I've seen him provided a good deal of commentary regarding his type that, in my opinion, is really bad. But it's his powerful connection to e3 that I assign the majority of the blame. It's bizarre in a way because I see an incredible amount of integrity in him...yet at the exact same time he can also sorta become this or that because of that e3 bastard on his back. He'll work it out...there is no doubt in my mind

1.Elfboy is an ENFP. I chat with him on the phone constantly and his mind moves like an Ne dom. The man's thoughts fly around everywhere at the speed of light. I don't get that with the INFP's that I chat with on the phone. Generally I find that the INFP's are much more quiet and their minds don't tend to bounce around as much. In addition the man uses way too much tertiary Te to be an INFP. The man constantly backs his ideas up with objective facts, and constantly uses a more universal group logic (Te) when illustrating his points. In addition, he's very good with objective thinking as well which is more reminiscent with Te as well.

2. I don't think that Elfboy is a 3w4 core type either. The man's conscientious level is horrible and he almost never gets anything done. The 3w4's on the other hand tend to have a much higher conscientious level and tend to be much more focused. I do agree that he has a 3w4 fix though. Also, he also tends to relate a lot more to the struggles of the enneagram 7 type than he does type 3, which also makes me think he's not a core 3w4.


As others here have said...sx isn't correlated with getting tons of play. If you only knew how many sx/sps are monks and other religious people (I don't know other titles haha). This stems from all the internal conflict...that neither of you have. Both of your energy flows freely all in one direction which is so/sx or sx/so. The sx/sp is also referred to as the wanderer. The internal conflict often causes them to completely disengage and search endlessly for that missing piece. Both of you seem quite present. Your energy and focus...Great One is scattered but it is scattered in the social realm. And being scattered in the social realm still means you can be over-sexed and desiring of things with which to 'protect' yourself with. I see zero self-preservational characteristics in you or Elfboy although Elfboy has the intensified focus of the sexual dom. Neither one of you present with those *snags* in energy that are the hallmark of sx/sp.

This is a common problem that I run into at pretty much every enneagram site that I go to: no one can ever come up with a clear and definitive definition of the sx variant. There is one side of the fence that says that sx has to do with relationships, sex, desirability, dating, etc. Then there is the other side that says that none of these things have to do with sx. In fact, the other side says that sx is all about passion, intensity, and chemistry. In fact, a lot of people tell me that many sx doms are very happy being monks, priests, etc, and never have a relationship, date, have sex, or do anything to really create a deep bond with someone romantically and still live happy lives. I simply don't believe this. From my experience, the sx doms are generally obsessed, with sex, dating, relationships, desirability, and it seems like for them to give these things up would almost be unbearable to them. But anyway, I've noticed that the general trend on these sites is that people just wind up typing people based on their energy instead of what they say and what they desire because no one can ever come up with a definitive definition of sx, and because of this it's hard to make an accurate typing.



And finally, Great One... I couldn't say for certain (and would actually be interested in seeing some test scores) what your actual MBTI is... but I know a glutton when I see one...being one myself. Still, it may take a while for all of this to unfold in you and Elfboy's preview. And I think that's fine.

What type do you think I am then? ENFP maybe?

The Great One
06-16-2013, 02:50 AM
no Starry, I'm ENFP as fuck ;)
the unconditional self assuredness is related to E7 and E8. it is also related to Fi, but not necessarily on a cognitive level. if you talked to me in person, you'd see I'm pretty extroverted and have the bouncy mind of an Ne dom

on a side note, I think you, like many people, misunderstand type 3 and are assigning characteristics to 3 which are, once again, E7. did you ever read that article I posted in the head center forum about what type 7 is really about?

Sp is about
- survival
- comfort
- security
- domesticity/predictability
- physical safety
- competence
- risk management

also, my energy is very conflicted. many people who have talked to me over the phone said that I came off like an Sp/So at times.

It's true. You come off sp/so on the phone and sx/sp on skype: it's your voice man. However, Sx/sp with strong sp (wanderer) can come off sp/so very easily so it makes sense.

mcgooglian
06-16-2013, 02:54 AM
Sx firsts come across like happy monkeys with bananas.

The Great One
06-16-2013, 05:50 PM
I know that a lot of people on this thread are saying that I'm actually so/sx as opposed to an sx dom. However, there are a few things about myself that I would like to share with you all to help you to understand why I believe myself to be an sx dom.

1. I've pretty much always craved intimacy ever since I was a child.

When I was a child I was like a love sick puppy. All I cared about was finding a mate. In fact, when I was very young I would make up fantasy style tales of finding the perfect lover and how amazing it would be. This is literally all that I thought of as a child: I was literally like a Disney mother fucker. Hell, I remember when I was in grade school I even joined the school chorus to just to get with this one woman that I deeply cared for. It just made me so happy to be around her, lol. When I was around her, it was almost like a sense of pure ecstacy came over me. Well of course I did later get with the girl, but we later wound up breaking up due to our young age, lol.

2. I think I've changed my relationship perspective a lot sense my mother and father's divorce.

Again, when I was a child, I was a love sick puppy and was obsessed with being in a relationship. I remember when I was in high school, I wasn't looking for someone to just fuck or to even sexually experiment with: all that I was looking for is this one "perfect lover" that would complete me. To tell the truth, I was really looking for a wife in high school, and was pretty much a Twilight mother fucker. I never did find this perfect lover in high school, but I damn sure tried, lol.

Anyway, my search for this one perfect lover continued until I was out of high school and then everything changed...forever. One of the reasons that I was so gung ho on finding a wife in high school was because my mother and father's relationship was so happy throughout my entire childhood. I thought to myself, "I want what my parents have, but I want that for myself.", so my search continued. However, in 2007 both of my parents went to jail, my mother then met a crackhead in jail who she fell in love with, brought her home, told us that she was just a friend that she was trying to help, and deceived us all. Long story short, my mother wound up selling everything that we cared about in the house (about $200,000.00) worth of stuff that my parents had accumulated throughout the years, left my father for this other woman, stole my car through a legal battle, and deserted us all. She did all of this within a period of 6 months. After seeing this, it left me feeling broken and scarred forever inside, and I now I found myself afraid of falling in love with a woman.

Before, I never understood the concept of being a player: I didn't understand the concept of being with several women throughout your life. All that I really understood was the concept of finding this one perfect woman to spend the rest of your life with. However, after my parents divorce, I became somewhat of a player, and slept with a few girls. It's almost like I was deeply craving this strong sense of intimacy deep inside, and I needed these inner needs to be met. However, the sex felt empty inside, and it really didn't really feel good at all: I wasn't getting this strong sense of connection that I was so desperately craving inside. However, I was at least able to get at least "some of my needs" satisfied.

I will say though in the last few years (it was during this time period that my car was completely taken and couldn't use it at all) that finding a lover has been very hard for me. I've been going to college and I've been constantly investing in my future and it hasn't given me much time to work as of late. So therefore, I really haven't had stable transportation or much money to really date, so trying to find a lover at the current moment has been difficult. I should say though, as of late, that I'm literally going FUCKING CRAZY inside because I'm so desperate to find someone special to be with. I've been stricken with crazy fucking impulses as of late that I'm now seeing a hypnotist to try to stop them. The impulses are so fucking crazy that I can't even talk about what they specifically are, but what I can say is that they could VERY EASILY get me arrested and thrown in jail for years and that terrifies me. What terrifies me even more is that I'm always so close to acting on them. It's like I'm getting to the point that I'm becoming completely counter-phobic and not giving a shit about anything right now. It's almost like my body deep inside is telling me that something is wrong and that there is something missing in my life. I'm so desperate to find a special woman in my life that I'm literally freaking out inside, and it feels like it is internally TEARING ME APART!

However, one night recently, I met this Hispanic girl at a bar and started chatting with her. I thought that I had developed decent chemistry with her and I even got her number. Anyway, it didn't work out long story short. However, when we did get together and I started to feel close to her, all of my inner-most anxieties, my impulses, and everything just went away almost over-night and for a period of a week or so, I felt freed: I was freed from my inner cage of loneliness and I felt better than I have felt in years. Anyway, I now figure that if I can just find a lover, that my impulse problem will go away completely and I am working diligently on this project.

Anyway, yeah this is why I think that I might be an sx dom.
Starry Marmotini skylights mcgooglian Elfboy

You may all want to check out this thread.

midnight rambler
06-16-2013, 08:29 PM
I know that a lot of people on this thread are saying that I'm actually so/sx as opposed to an sx dom. However, there are a few things about myself that I would like to share with you all to help you to understand why I believe myself to be an sx dom.

1. I've pretty much always craved intimacy ever since I was a child.

When I was a child I was like a love sick puppy. All I cared about was finding a mate. In fact, when I was very young I would make up fantasy style tales of finding the perfect lover and how amazing it would be. This is literally all that I thought of as a child: I was literally like a Disney mother fucker. Hell, I remember when I was in grade school I even joined the school chorus to just to get with this one woman that I deeply cared for. It just made me so happy to be around her, lol. When I was around her, it was almost like a sense of pure ecstacy came over me. Well of course I did later get with the girl, but we later wound up breaking up due to our young age, lol.

2. I think I've changed my relationship perspective a lot sense my mother and father's divorce.

Again, when I was a child, I was a love sick puppy and was obsessed with being in a relationship. I remember when I was in high school, I wasn't looking for someone to just fuck or to even sexually experiment with: all that I was looking for is this one "perfect lover" that would complete me. To tell the truth, I was really looking for a wife in high school, and was pretty much a Twilight mother fucker. I never did find this perfect lover in high school, but I damn sure tried, lol.

Anyway, my search for this one perfect lover continued until I was out of high school and then everything changed...forever. One of the reasons that I was so gung ho on finding a wife in high school was because my mother and father's relationship was so happy throughout my entire childhood. I thought to myself, "I want what my parents have, but I want that for myself.", so my search continued. However, in 2007 both of my parents went to jail, my mother then met a crackhead in jail who she fell in love with, brought her home, told us that she was just a friend that she was trying to help, and deceived us all. Long story short, my mother wound up selling everything that we cared about in the house (about $200,000.00) worth of stuff that my parents had accumulated throughout the years, left my father for this other woman, stole my car through a legal battle, and deserted us all. She did all of this within a period of 6 months. After seeing this, it left me feeling broken and scarred forever inside, and I now I found myself afraid of falling in love with a woman.

Before, I never understood the concept of being a player: I didn't understand the concept of being with several women throughout your life. All that I really understood was the concept of finding this one perfect woman to spend the rest of your life with. However, after my parents divorce, I became somewhat of a player, and slept with a few girls. It's almost like I was deeply craving this strong sense of intimacy deep inside, and I needed these inner needs to be met. However, the sex felt empty inside, and it really didn't really feel good at all: I wasn't getting this strong sense of connection that I was so desperately craving inside. However, I was at least able to get at least "some of my needs" satisfied.

I will say though in the last few years (it was during this time period that my car was completely taken and couldn't use it at all) that finding a lover has been very hard for me. I've been going to college and I've been constantly investing in my future and it hasn't given me much time to work as of late. So therefore, I really haven't had stable transportation or much money to really date, so trying to find a lover at the current moment has been difficult. I should say though, as of late, that I'm literally going FUCKING CRAZY inside because I'm so desperate to find someone special to be with. I've been stricken with crazy fucking impulses as of late that I'm now seeing a hypnotist to try to stop them. The impulses are so fucking crazy that I can't even talk about what they specifically are, but what I can say is that they could VERY EASILY get me arrested and thrown in jail for years and that terrifies me. What terrifies me even more is that I'm always so close to acting on them. It's like I'm getting to the point that I'm becoming completely counter-phobic and not giving a shit about anything right now. It's almost like my body deep inside is telling me that something is wrong and that there is something missing in my life. I'm so desperate to find a special woman in my life that I'm literally freaking out inside, and it feels like it is internally TEARING ME APART!

However, one night recently, I met this Hispanic girl at a bar and started chatting with her. I thought that I had developed decent chemistry with her and I even got her number. Anyway, it didn't work out long story short. However, when we did get together and I started to feel close to her, all of my inner-most anxieties, my impulses, and everything just went away almost over-night and for a period of a week or so, I felt freed: I was freed from my inner cage of loneliness and I felt better than I have felt in years. Anyway, I now figure that if I can just find a lover, that my impulse problem will go away completely and I am working diligently on this project.

Anyway, yeah this is why I think that I might be an sx dom.
Starry Marmotini skylights mcgooglian Elfboy

You may all want to check out this thread.

here's what your problem is.

1. your tired of being a walking ash tray
2. your tired of feeling guilty every time you want to light up

But with blu E-cigs you can enjoy smoking without affecting the people around you. Its vapor and not tobacco, that means no ash.
And the best part of it all is no offensive odor. with blu, you can smoke anywhere and not have to worry about going outside to smoke
when you are at a bar with your friends. We're all Adults here, it's time we take our freedom back! Rise from the ashes my friend!!

you can thank me later great one :)

Elfboy
06-16-2013, 09:56 PM
The Great One
after talking to you for several months, I think Sx/Sp is a good fit for you. you're clearly not Sp last and you are obsessed with intense exchanges of energy.

The Great One
06-17-2013, 02:32 AM
here's what your problem is.

1. your tired of being a walking ash tray
2. your tired of feeling guilty every time you want to light up

But with blu E-cigs you can enjoy smoking without affecting the people around you. Its vapor and not tobacco, that means no ash.
And the best part of it all is no offensive odor. with blu, you can smoke anywhere and not have to worry about going outside to smoke
when you are at a bar with your friends. We're all Adults here, it's time we take our freedom back! Rise from the ashes my friend!!

you can thank me later great one :)

This post has changed my life.


The Great One
after talking to you for several months, I think Sx/Sp is a good fit for you. you're clearly not Sp last and you are obsessed with intense exchanges of energy.

Yeah, I'm almost wondering if I'm not sx/so coolside though. I seem to display a significant amount of SO for some reason.

Elfboy
06-17-2013, 02:49 AM
This post has changed my life.
Yeah, I'm almost wondering if I'm not sx/so coolside though. I seem to display a significant amount of SO for some reason.

think about everything you've shared in our conversations. you're about as Sp last as the Pope is Protestant.

The Great One
06-17-2013, 02:56 AM
think about everything you've shared in our conversations. you're about as Sp last as the Pope is Protestant.

I know, it's just very confusing for me because I tend to have influences from all 3 variants. Also, it seems like I was always so as well as sx. It really seems like the self pres came later. However I often wonder if I have always had strong self pres but just didn't notice it because all of my self pres needs were met by my parents when I was a child.

skylights
06-17-2013, 03:44 AM
Mm, The Great One, I would love to give you good advice and input, but being in the middle of my own questioning, I don't feel particularly settled right now in terms of understanding where everything falls in terms of instinct.

I do think that even if your parents attended to your sp needs, you would still have had a focus on them. Your parents couldn't, for example, have a good feel for what kind of physical conditions made you most comfortable, or whether your clothes were adequate for your desires, or whether you had enough energy to take care of what you needed to do, whether you had enough money to get what you wanted, or whether you had enough time to do what you were planning. I would think sp doms would still feel all this internally from an early age.

Starry
06-17-2013, 06:36 AM
no Starry, I'm ENFP as fuck ;)

haha (proving me right since May 2010)

Honestly though, the primary reason I feel comfortable responding to your posts is because I get to discuss personality theory knowing my opinions will have absolutely no influence on you whatsoever haha. Because once people feel fairly settled on a certain type I don’t necessarily feel they should be influenced – even if there was a way to conclusively prove the individual was wrong. Basically, I feel that if a person identifies with a certain type – there’s a reason. There’s meaning there. This notion strengthens in my mind when it comes to individuals (like yourself) that appear to be in possession of certain traits that make them more challenging to type. For example, while I’ve never seen any kinds of type test scores from you…you have all the tell tale signs of an individual that is making near equal use of your dom and aux functions (nearly balanced dom/aux). And a nearly balanced use of dom/aux alone...regardless of MBTI or e-type...will provide you with a never-ending supply of doubters no matter what you decide so... So, yes I have a difference of opinion regarding which function is actually leading... but at the same time I should say I see why ENFP 7w6 (and actually sx/sp when I consider what I believe to be your dom function) were identified by you... And there are a fair amount of members that feel best when you are the above type. (umm, I can see your signature above while composing this message and...wth is a Chibi Seme? <--okay, maybe don't answer that. And perhaps don't address anything having to do with Papa Bear, Dark Worker or Sunburst either haha. But I do know what Wanderer is...and ‘Enjoy!’ haha)

I want to respond to the type stuff because I find it so interesting but I'm too exhausted tonight and should probably find another place to do it in right? I'm assuming it would be considered off topic here.


Sp is about
- survival
- comfort
- security
- domesticity/predictability
- physical safety
- competence
- risk management


Yes, and would add...as it applies to sx/sp & sp/sx not just physical safety but mental...and (especially) emotional safety as well. sx-doms are actually identified or known for neglecting their physical well-being and I'm totally guilty of that.


also, my energy is very conflicted. many people who have talked to me over the phone said that I came off like an Sp/So at times.

Alright.





This is a common problem that I run into at pretty much every enneagram site that I go to: no one can ever come up with a clear and definitive definition of the sx variant. There is one side of the fence that says that sx has to do with relationships, sex, desirability, dating, etc. Then there is the other side that says that none of these things have to do with sx. In fact, the other side says that sx is all about passion, intensity, and chemistry. In fact, a lot of people tell me that many sx doms are very happy being monks, priests, etc, and never have a relationship, date, have sex, or do anything to really create a deep bond with someone romantically and still live happy lives. I simply don't believe this. From my experience, the sx doms are generally obsessed, with sex, dating, relationships, desirability, and it seems like for them to give these things up would almost be unbearable to them. But anyway, I've noticed that the general trend on these sites is that people just wind up typing people based on their energy instead of what they say and what they desire because no one can ever come up with a definitive definition of sx, and because of this it's hard to make an accurate typing.

I agree. While I’m looking directly at it though I’d like to say… I didn’t just ‘wind up’ typing you and Elfboy based on your energy like how you describe it above. For the record, I have been telling Elfboy for quite some time now that he is sx-dom. And just the other day I reminded him of a time when immediately following this suggestion from me …he posted a personal story in his blog illustrating just how 'sp as fuck’ he was. The day he became ‘sx as fuck’ he only thanked Amargith for it haha.

This is absolutely not to say I’m somehow above ‘energy’ or ‘vibe’ typing strategies – hell no. I would be an absolute fool to avoid something like that. Whenever anyone asks me to give them my opinion on their type (this just happened this morning btw)…I specifically request that they not tell me anything right then…precisely because I want to get the ‘vibe’ first. I’d also like to point out how many times I’ve thought about someone’s type for a good deal of time…only to have some other member arrive at the same exact answer by saying something like ‘The vibe I get from you is XXXX…but like I said it’s just a vibe.’ haha. The method I notice causes the biggest fuck ups and mistypes? Typing by descriptions. Yah. Even still, where I was discussing energy with regards to how it flows had nothing to do with any of this. If you wish to know…I arrived at my assessment of you based on what I remember from the overall content of your posts [edit: I will read your new description tomorrow though]

I personally think all the enneagram descriptions fail in many ways…not just the sx variant. You really need to read books on the topic – I honestly think it’s the only way. I mean, I have seen a few shorthand descriptions I felt did an excellent job but for the most part…? Someone really needs to author some decent short descriptions…which ideally made allocations for at least a few of the correlated MBTI for each e-type.

The Great One
06-19-2013, 01:59 AM
skylights

Yeah, I pretty much disregarded Sp needs altogether when I was younger. I had no idea what Sp was at all. I only developed SP because I became poor for a long period of time and wound up with no health insurance. When you have no health insurance it sucks and you basically get sick and there is no one to help you, and I really hated that. I can remember having so and sx awareness my entire life though.
Starry

1.Yes, I know that many of the descriptions suck but what else can I really go by besides energy.

2. Yes, I have been told that I have the energy of a so/sx many times, but in terms of what I chase after in life I look more sp/sx at the moment.

3. I can't really see myself as sx/so though because I'm just not insane enough.

Azure Flame
06-19-2013, 02:10 AM
When people are surprised to see how good you actually are with women.

skylights
06-19-2013, 02:44 AM
skylights

Yeah, I pretty much disregarded Sp needs altogether when I was younger. I had no idea what Sp was at all. I only developed SP because I became poor for a long period of time and wound up with no health insurance. When you have no health insurance it sucks and you basically get sick and there is no one to help you, and I really hated that. I can remember having so and sx awareness my entire life though.

I would have a really hard time seeing you as sp-first at all then, if this is true. The sp-firsts that I know seem to always have some level of awareness of sp needs in one way or another, even as younger children. Not that variant is necessarily crystallized at that point, but I have a hard time thinking your dominant would be essentially invisible and suddenly become strong enough to be your top priority.


2. Yes, I have been told that I have the energy of a so/sx many times, but in terms of what I chase after in life I look more sp/sx at the moment.

I was feeling this way, too, about sx/so, but I think after a lot of discussion in the thread that I created, I'm not sure if instinct necessarily identifies what your priorities are (hear me out) as much as it identifies how you prioritize, or simply what/how you see. I've always thought I was sx/so because my first priority has always been unity and connection, but after reading a lot about how the variants operate, I've begun to see my own perspective as more of a connectivity than chemistry - this excerpt really clarified it for me:


[The social instinct] compells you to desire to interact with others, and focus on the interactions between you and others, as well as the interaction between you and… things even [... Social types...] are aware of also the interactions between others and others, and others and the environment as well as themselves and others and themselves and the environment. It’s being aware of interactions in general. How everything interacts with each other. [...] One gear affects another, and their aware of how they can harm and help this whole entire process (of interacting with others and stuff) [...]

Sx-firsts, on the other hand, aren’t as aware of the interactions between them and others and the environment, rather… their more aware of the chemistry [...] Focusing on sx-first issues involve: Am I close to my gf/bf? Am I close to my family? How much in common do we all have? Do I really like this thing? Am I attracted to it? Is that person attracted to that other person? etc. They’re more aware of the bonds and the chemistry between them and people, as well as environment, and other people and other people, as well as other people and the environment [...]

sp-firsts worry more about fitness. Fitness in general, of course, not necessarily just body fitness. Therefore, they worry more about how fit they are in their environment, as well as how fit other people are in their environment. They want to be fit.

This is a difference which I didn't really understand until now, with sx being more about within relationships and so being more about between relationships, which might go a long way in explaining why my intrapersonal Fi values tend to veer surprisingly towards usual interpersonal Fe values. And then sp is more about internal status, about how well-suited you are to endure whatever scenario you're in.

Which gives a simplistic association of -

Sp - Inside one
Sx - Within two
So - Between multiple

So to loop back to myself, I really thought I was sx because I was (am) so invested in one-to-one relationships, deep bonding, and really getting lost in experiences, but all of that for me is sort of framed in a more collaborative sense, with one-to-one relationships being the creation of a unity - not us becoming one another but us becoming a synergistic unit - more us looking out at the world together than us looking at one another - deep bonding being about long-term maintenance of mutually supportive relationships that may fluctuate in terms of intensity but are most importantly still connected - and getting lost in experiences being very much about becoming one with the "All". Obviously sx is still strong within me, but I mistook what I wanted for how I was seeing things.

In other words, I think something incredibly important about the variants is that they don't necessarily predict what we want, but rather why we want it, or at least how we frame it. So your top priority might be finding a mate, but I don't think that necessarily immediately makes you sx as much it gives you a good scenario for determining your perspective on what feels necessary and why.

The Great One
06-19-2013, 02:57 AM
I would have a really hard time seeing you as sp-first at all then, if this is true. The sp-firsts that I know seem to always have some level of awareness of sp needs in one way or another, even as younger children. Not that variant is necessarily crystallized at that point, but I have a hard time thinking your dominant would be essentially invisible and suddenly become strong enough to be your top priority.



I was feeling this way, too, about sx/so, but I think after a lot of discussion in the thread that I created, I'm not sure if instinct necessarily identifies what your priorities are (hear me out) as much as it identifies how you prioritize, or simply what/how you see. I've always thought I was sx/so because my first priority has always been unity and connection, but after reading a lot about how the variants operate, I've begun to see my own perspective as more of a connectivity than chemistry - this excerpt really clarified it for me:



This is a difference which I didn't really understand until now, with sx being more about within relationships and so being more about between relationships, which might go a long way in explaining why my intrapersonal Fi values tend to veer surprisingly towards usual interpersonal Fe values. And then sp is more about internal status, about how well-suited you are to endure whatever scenario you're in.

Which gives a simplistic association of -

Sp - Inside one
Sx - Within two
So - Between multiple

So to loop back to myself, I really thought I was sx because I was (am) so invested in one-to-one relationships, deep bonding, and really getting lost in experiences, but all of that for me is sort of framed in a more collaborative sense, with one-to-one relationships being the creation of a unity - not us becoming one another but us becoming a synergistic unit - more us looking out at the world together than us looking at one another - deep bonding being about long-term maintenance of mutually supportive relationships that may fluctuate in terms of intensity but are most importantly still connected - and getting lost in experiences being very much about becoming one with the "All". Obviously sx is still strong within me, but I mistook what I wanted for how I was seeing things.

In other words, I think something incredibly important about the variants is that they don't necessarily predict what we want, but rather why we want it, or at least how we frame it. So your top priority might be finding a mate, but I don't think that necessarily immediately makes you sx as much it gives you a good scenario for determining your perspective on what feels necessary and why.

I'm still sx first based on that description. What's interesting about myself is that I could give less of a damn what's happening between others. I don't really care about being part of a group either. I do care about what society as a whole thinks of me though, and I'm wondering if that's just my very strong 3w2 fix rearing it's ugly head.

skylights
06-19-2013, 03:22 AM
I'm still sx first based on that description. What's interesting about myself is that I could give less of a damn what's happening between others. I don't really care about being part of a group either. I do care about what society as a whole thinks of me though, and I'm wondering if that's just my very strong 3w2 fix rearing it's ugly head.

The energies are, perhaps, not so different.


so/sx - including, associating, affiliating, networking, incorporating, interconnecting, introducing, unifying, linking, bonding, annexing, cooperating, receiving


sx/sp - intensifying, escalating, rising, surging, enlivening, invigorating, accelerating, stimulating, energizing, vitalizing, reviving, animating, inspiriting

Both gather.

Starry
06-21-2013, 12:34 AM
I know that a lot of people on this thread are saying that I'm actually so/sx as opposed to an sx dom. However, there are a few things about myself that I would like to share with you all to help you to understand why I believe myself to be an sx dom.

1. I've pretty much always craved intimacy ever since I was a child.

When I was a child I was like a love sick puppy. All I cared about was finding a mate. In fact, when I was very young I would make up fantasy style tales of finding the perfect lover and how amazing it would be. This is literally all that I thought of as a child: I was literally like a Disney mother fucker. Hell, I remember when I was in grade school I even joined the school chorus to just to get with this one woman that I deeply cared for. It just made me so happy to be around her, lol. When I was around her, it was almost like a sense of pure ecstacy came over me. Well of course I did later get with the girl, but we later wound up breaking up due to our young age, lol.

2. I think I've changed my relationship perspective a lot sense my mother and father's divorce.

Anyway, my search for this one perfect lover continued until I was out of high school and then everything changed...forever. One of the reasons that I was so gung ho on finding a wife in high school was because my mother and father's relationship was so happy throughout my entire childhood. I thought to myself, "I want what my parents have, but I want that for myself.", so my search continued. However, in 2007 both of my parents went to jail, my mother then met a crackhead in jail who she fell in love with, brought her home, told us that she was just a friend that she was trying to help, and deceived us all. Long story short, my mother wound up selling everything that we cared about in the house (about $200,000.00) worth of stuff that my parents had accumulated throughout the years, left my father for this other woman, stole my car through a legal battle, and deserted us all. She did all of this within a period of 6 months. After seeing this, it left me feeling broken and scarred forever inside, and I now I found myself afraid of falling in love with a woman.

Anyway, yeah this is why I think that I might be an sx dom.
Starry

Great One, forgive me for taking so long to respond past when I said I would. I mentioned as a joke to another member that my delay had to do with the fact I actually am a sx-dom... And instead of addressing the issues I put forth in a thread haha...the topic shifted to me being made to defend myself against accusations of being angry, etc. when that wasn't my experience...(if you are sx-dom you will get use to this bs too. And yes, I used the term 'bs' special-like 'cause that's what sx doms do)

I also want to say I have a great deal of empathy and compassion for the hardship you suffered when your family fell apart. If you did not know this previously I'm quite certain you know now - how Life doesn't stop when your world crumbles to the ground. And it can become confusing if you make the mistake of comparing yourself with others (don't do this!) if you start to wonder how this person or that person handled seemingly worse hardships with seemingly greater ease. <--acknowledge that this does occur. But remain mindful of the fact there are hardships...And there are upheavals. One taxes the resources you depend upon for survival/coping...and the other strips you of those resources and turns you out. If given the choice between the two experiences I know which one I'd choose a million times over...And I'm quite certain you know as much too.

I came to this site on the tail of an upheaval (tail what hell am I saying tail for? I came in the eye of an upheaval). And you will find posts from my earlier history here talking about how '6w7 as fuck' I was. I have mentioned this to you before now that I'm thinking of it (and Lady X agreed having gone through a similar experience)... but with everything you wrote above as well? As I live and breath...you are a 7w6 that got his ass kicked by an upheaval...and just can't identify with the super-human that never has a bad day... which seems to be the cornerstone of every e7 description. Keep on embracing the 6 and 7 in that order. I did it. Lady X did it. It will make sense to you...I know. But while nothing is certain in my mind...with your e-type...this is damn near as close as I get.

With what you said in the paragraph of your childhood... this doesn't tell me anything I can truly use to determine variant. What it does do is tell the story of a child glutton. In other words, many e7s become gluttonous for dreams and ideals. Shit, just the fact you utilized the word Disney in that paragraph automatically makes you 7w6 in my opinion...because that's exactly what it is. While normal children are enjoying Disneyland once every 2-5 years or so on the family vacation...e7 children actually live there in their minds. And yes, the dream/ideal consumption often includes a great deal of fairytaleish romance. Many e7s carry this 'addiction' to romantic idealism into adulthood.

This information actually makes you more challenging to type for the variants.

Tell me truly...how do you most often type on MBTI even if you don't agree with those results. Do you really test as ENTP? Or did you come by this because people sorta backed you into that box?

With what seems like such high levels of Fe from you I've even tossed around the idea of ESFJ...but while I do not believe Elfboy is an ENFP 7w6 under any condition...YOU may in fact be. I have heard of ENTP 7w6s reporting similar things from childhood...but admit it is far more likely out of the mouth of an ENFP. And interestingly enough...ENFPs that are so/sx...regardless of e-type...seem to present with some kind of faux-Fe.

All this to say...I'm still holding at ExxP 7w6 so/sx.

small.wonder
06-21-2013, 02:41 AM
I always get these types of definitions of sx from NF's. However, I'm wondering if many sx defintions have an nf bias though because I know many NT and STP sx doms that wouldn't really relate as much to these sx descriptons. I'm wondering if sx can manifest itself in these particular types in a different way?

Sorry I'm responding to this so late! Yes, I'm sure sx can look quite different depending on MB or core Enneagram type. When you say "these types of definitions", which part of my description were you referring to? I suppose it could've been the entire thing, just curious which part read NF to you.

I should say, I can relate to a lot of the violence-tinted intensity of sx too. Someone on this thread mentioned wanted to punch people out, or stare them down or something along those lines. I do get that rush sometimes, almost like I can hear the Braveheart soundtrack in my head as I give everyone who passes me a direct and level stare. I know that sounds stupid (it probably is), but that's my best description of it. I feel the same way when it rains heavily or the wind is strong, and I walk out directly into it. It's something about being unhindered.

Is that NF-ish too? I unfortunately do not have a handle on very much Meyers Briggs yet, I know much more about Enneagram anyway.

The Great One
06-23-2013, 12:59 AM
skylights

I just don't relate to what the other so/sx 6w7's are saying though. In fact, I wish I could find the description again but I heard that the so/sx 6w7's are basically a lot like 2w3's. In fact, from what I've read they basically just feel like helpless puppies in the world and they need to find someone to help them to survive it basically. Also, just like 2w3's, their sense of safety often depends on being liked. In fact, a lot of times, when they aren't liked by people they often freak out. If this is true, I just don't relate to this at all.
Starry

1. Yes, I know many people have pitched the idea to me that I am actually a mistyped 7w6 that just has PTSD, and this would make a lot of sense as well. I am now investigating this more thoroughly.

2.When I take a classic MBTI test I usually test ENFJ or ENFP.

3. When I take a cognitive functions test, I get this....

Your Cognitive Functions:
Extroverted Intuition (Ne) ||||||||||||||||||||||||| 11.85
Introverted Intuition (Ni) ||||||||||||||||||||||| 10.98
Extroverted Feeling (Fe) |||||||||||||||||||| 9.22
Introverted Thinking (Ti) |||||||||||||||||||| 9.22
Introverted Feeling (Fi) ||||||| 2.54
Introverted Sensation (Si) |||||| 2
Extroverted Thinking (Te) |||| 1.31
Extroverted Sensation (Se) ||||| -3.75

Based on your cognitive functions, your type is most likely:
Most Likely: ENTP
or Second Possibility: INFJ
or Third Possibility: ENFJ

4. I can't see myself as a core ENFJ though because I say too many offensive things.

5.Yeah I admit that what I said didn't seem ENTP at all. In fact, it sounded NF as fuck.

skylights
06-23-2013, 01:52 PM
ENFPs that are so/sx...regardless of e-type...seem to present with some kind of faux-Fe.

Aaaaand that'd be me. :)


@skylights (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/members/skylights.html)

I just don't relate to what the other so/sx 6w7's are saying though. In fact, I wish I could find the description again but I heard that the so/sx 6w7's are basically a lot like 2w3's. In fact, from what I've read they basically just feel like helpless puppies in the world and they need to find someone to help them to survive it basically. Also, just like 2w3's, their sense of safety often depends on being liked. In fact, a lot of times, when they aren't liked by people they often freak out. If this is true, I just don't relate to this at all.

Well, you can see I've just changed over to so/sx instead of sx/so, and I'm observing in day-to-day life how it really does fit me better. And my tritype is 6w7-2w3-9w1, but I don't really relate with feeling like a helpless puppy, lol. I do struggle with sp issues, of course, and I do derive a sense of security from being liked. But I also provide for myself, have kept long-term employment, save money, have a good, steady relationship, have had the had the same car for 8 years and it's still in good condition, have a good credit score entirely thanks to my own work, am a secure traveller, am well-educated, and feel generally competent in most situations. Given, I might "freak out" if person who disliked me was an important authority (because I'm not interested in anyone screwing me from above) or someone I really respected. But a 3 wing gives a certain amount of focus on competency - and 2 would much prefer to be the helper, not the helped, as 2 derives pride from their ability to help.

The funny thing for me - and my boyfriend was noticing this yesterday, in fact - is that when it comes to helping others, I'm 110% competent and secure. I generally know how to get whatever they want or need and I'm not shy about doing it for them. But it's when it comes to myself - choosing what's best for myself - that I completely fail and my competency goes out the window. I have almost zero faith in my ability to choose well for myself. I do seek information from others but I don't seek a "rescuer" because I wouldn't trust them anyway - ultimately you have to accept a rescuer as being the one able to rescue you, after all. Unfortunately, the only thing I need rescuing from is myself. I still don't end up at helpless puppy - just indecisive, insecure puppy.

In any case, I couldn't see you as a core ENFJ either. You don't come off as a dominant Judger at all.

Do listen to Starry. She's very insightful... I, too, could see you as ENxP 7w6 who had a really shitty run-in with reality.

The Great One
06-24-2013, 02:45 AM
Aaaaand that'd be me. :)



Well, you can see I've just changed over to so/sx instead of sx/so, and I'm observing in day-to-day life how it really does fit me better. And my tritype is 6w7-2w3-9w1, but I don't really relate with feeling like a helpless puppy, lol. I do struggle with sp issues, of course, and I do derive a sense of security from being liked. But I also provide for myself, have kept long-term employment, save money, have a good, steady relationship, have had the had the same car for 8 years and it's still in good condition, have a good credit score entirely thanks to my own work, am a secure traveller, am well-educated, and feel generally competent in most situations. Given, I might "freak out" if person who disliked me was an important authority (because I'm not interested in anyone screwing me from above) or someone I really respected. But a 3 wing gives a certain amount of focus on competency - and 2 would much prefer to be the helper, not the helped, as 2 derives pride from their ability to help.

The funny thing for me - and my boyfriend was noticing this yesterday, in fact - is that when it comes to helping others, I'm 110% competent and secure. I generally know how to get whatever they want or need and I'm not shy about doing it for them. But it's when it comes to myself - choosing what's best for myself - that I completely fail and my competency goes out the window. I have almost zero faith in my ability to choose well for myself. I do seek information from others but I don't seek a "rescuer" because I wouldn't trust them anyway - ultimately you have to accept a rescuer as being the one able to rescue you, after all. Unfortunately, the only thing I need rescuing from is myself. I still don't end up at helpless puppy - just indecisive, insecure puppy.

In any case, I couldn't see you as a core ENFJ either. You don't come off as a dominant Judger at all.

Do listen to Starry. She's very insightful... I, too, could see you as ENxP 7w6 who had a really shitty run-in with reality.

Yeah I used to suck at solving problems. I had absolutely no faith in myself to solve them and I thought that I would fuck up everything. However, I'm now great at solving problems and have improved significantly over the years. I'm personally still on the fence about whether I'm a 6w7 or 7w6 though. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm a Ti<Fe user so I can't really see myself being an ENFP.

Starry
06-24-2013, 11:03 PM
Starry

2.When I take a classic MBTI test I usually test ENFJ or ENFP.

3. When I take a cognitive functions test, I get this....

Your Cognitive Functions:
Extroverted Intuition (Ne) ||||||||||||||||||||||||| 11.85
Introverted Intuition (Ni) ||||||||||||||||||||||| 10.98
Extroverted Feeling (Fe) |||||||||||||||||||| 9.22
Introverted Thinking (Ti) |||||||||||||||||||| 9.22
Introverted Feeling (Fi) ||||||| 2.54
Introverted Sensation (Si) |||||| 2
Extroverted Thinking (Te) |||| 1.31
Extroverted Sensation (Se) ||||| -3.75

Based on your cognitive functions, your type is most likely:
Most Likely: ENTP
or Second Possibility: INFJ
or Third Possibility: ENFJ

4. I can't see myself as a core ENFJ though because I say too many offensive things.

5.Yeah I admit that what I said didn't seem ENTP at all. In fact, it sounded NF as fuck.


OMgosh, I didn’t specify...but I’m super glad you included both MBTI & function results because for you...both are needed to tell your story.

You are 100 percent ENTP.

I have absolutely no idea why this happens but ENTPs that are Ne>Fe>Ti or Ne>Fe=Ti will score as ENFP on the MBTI. Without any sense as to how the MBTI is tabulated I don’t know if this occurs because they do something that looks like Extroversion + Intuition + Feeling = ENFP or if Ne>Fe ENTPs actually select answers based on their own experience that the MBTI reserves specifically for ENFPs (I have no clue). Looking at the breakdown of your cognitive functions…I imagine an ENFJ result on the MBTI makes sense as well but doesn’t do anything to help isolate how/why things go wrong in the first place (I’m sure someone here knows.)

As you know, an individual’s cognitive function results will fluctuate. I also I get the feeling you will understand what I’m asking and why when I say… Do you know if you are over-extroverting/stuck in a Ne/Fe loop due to the PTSD you mention above? Or do you believe Ne>Ni>Fe>Ti is accurate and represents who you truly are and have always been? It’s weird because if you knew you were stuck in that specific loop I would say hold-off on attempting to assign yourself a variant…because stress-induced Ne>Fe becomes a bottomless pit of desperately-seeking external validation (both personal and social validation)…and can resemble sx or so depending. With you, I get the sense this is merely how you are regardless. Obviously, I don’t know that for certain but will proceed as if that were the case until I hear differently. I think you are merely a ‘NF as fuck’ kind of ENTP.

With this in mind, if you were an e3 core…I imagine you would look very much like an ENFJish-ENTP. In fact, I’d wager you’d encounter a fair number of people along the way that would actually suggest you were a mistyped ENFJ. <--From what I’ve gathered, this isn’t a common experience for you. iow, when people confront you in order to build a case against the ENTP type…they most often want it replaced with ENFP as opposed to ENFJ right? So, aside from what appears to be your natural ‘NF as fuck’ aura…why ENFP? What else might make you seem quite specifically ENFPish?


Since the seemingly high levels of Fe coming out of you can attributed to actual high levels of actually authentic Fe and not…



Aaaaand that'd be me. :)

…the stuff purchased from out of the back of a windowless, 1970's van parked underneath the freeway every other Tuesday like so-first ENFPs do...

Haha skylights! I didn’t have you in mind when I typed that so I love that you caught it. Also, I want an archetype too…but if it’s going to be some messed-up witch destroyer of happy thoughts kind of thing…please send that to me privately. If, however, it’s something totally cool…to where people will be all like ‘I totally think Starry is totally cool now…’ go ahead and put that into your thread. :hug:



Great One, with Fe accounted for…sx makes sense. Not sx/sp in a million years…but I don’t see a heck of a lot of people arguing over variant-auxs haha. But you are not…and are subsequently not allowed to list your type as ENTP 6w7 sx.

You are and will forever be an ENTP 7w6 sx [eta: 7 sx with an inactive or phobic 6 wing]


Naranjo's brief profile of Enneagram 7 with sexual variant dominance (http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/232-Naranjo-s-Subtypes)

SX-7 - Heavenly. Glutton for things of the higher world. Dreamer. Passion to imagine something better than [stark] reality, to embellish reality. Looking at all things with optimism of someone who's in love. Too enthusiastic. NN to go for the sweetness of the imagined over ordinary reality. Need to fantasize. Rose-colored spectacles. Oral optimistic character (I think this was a Freudian reference). "I'm OK, You're OK."

The Great One
07-02-2013, 09:10 PM
Starry

Yes, I look like an NF in real life and don't really look that NTish. In fact, many believe me to be a mistyped ENFP. I think it's because I'm a 6 and I often reach outside myself to solve problems because I don't trust myself enough solve them. This in turn looks a lot like I'm using Te to solve problems by "consulting the experts" per say, and makes me look more ENFP. Also I don't look like a classic thinker on the outside and look very much like a feeler from first glance. After all, I'm somewhat kind, warm, understanding, and sensitive as well. In addition, I also am starting to believe that I may be an sx dom ENTP as well and let's get serious for a second....most ENTP's that I know are sx last and if you get really luckily you might find an sx second ENTP. When comparing the classic ENTP's level of sx to mine, it's like comparing a 25 year old mother who just had a new born's full and lactating breast to an old woman's breast that squeezes her breast and just white powder comes out (almost like sqeezing an empty powder bottle of Johnson and Johnson's). This is probably why I look more ENFP on the outside.

EDIT: Also, yes, I might be in a tertiary loop.

Urarienev
07-02-2013, 10:58 PM
Starry

Yes, I look like an NF in real life and don't really look that NTish. In fact, many believe me to be a mistyped ENFP. I think it's because I'm a 6 and I often reach outside myself to solve problems because I don't trust myself enough solve them. This in turn looks a lot like I'm using Te to solve problems by "consulting the experts" per say, and makes me look more ENFP. Also I don't look like a classic thinker on the outside and look very much like a feeler from first glance. After all, I'm somewhat kind, warm, understanding, and sensitive as well. In addition, I also am starting to believe that I may be an sx dom ENTP as well and let's get serious for a second....most ENTP's that I know are sx last and if you get really luckily you might find an sx second ENTP. When comparing the classic ENTP's level of sx to mine, it's like comparing a 25 year old mother who just had a new born's full and lactating breast to an old woman's breast that squeezes her breast and just white powder comes out (almost like sqeezing an empty powder bottle of Johnson and Johnson's). This is probably why I look more ENFP on the outside.

EDIT: Also, yes, I might be in a tertiary loop.

Maybe 6's just look like ENFP's.

I'm starting to think this is why so many ppl think I'M AN ENFP on here... and I'm not. I'm and entj! gah!

My thinkerness just doesn't come out. I've got a lot of Ni going on cause I was very alone as a kid. I think that's what shows.

I guess it's because I use words like "thinkerness"... I guess only NF's are allowed to do that?

skylights
07-03-2013, 01:26 AM
I think that 6 tends to make us all look a little more ISFJ

Starry
07-03-2013, 03:18 AM
Starry

Yes, I look like an NF in real life and don't really look that NTish. In fact, many believe me to be a mistyped ENFP. I think it's because I'm a 6 and I often reach outside myself to solve problems because I don't trust myself enough solve them. This in turn looks a lot like I'm using Te to solve problems by "consulting the experts" per say, and makes me look more ENFP. Also I don't look like a classic thinker on the outside and look very much like a feeler from first glance. After all, I'm somewhat kind, warm, understanding, and sensitive as well. In addition, I also am starting to believe that I may be an sx dom ENTP as well and let's get serious for a second....most ENTP's that I know are sx last and if you get really luckily you might find an sx second ENTP.

Great One... did you read my post thoughtfully as well as in its entirety? haha.
Here's a quick synopsis I've prepared hitting the main points I had hoped you'd take away from what I wrote but...going off your response...doesn't quite appear you did:

1.) You are an ENTP '4 reelz'

2.) The reason why so many people believe you are ENFP is because the order of your function usage is not Intuition > Thinking but rather Intuition > Feeling <--And it doesn't matter that that Feeling is Fe as opposed to Fi. What matters is that it is Feeling period. If you are an extrovert that leads with Intuition followed by Feeling...you are going to vibe like an ENFP. A subsequent reason you seem 'ENFPie' is due to the fact you are a 7w6.

Here's a quote by me from one of your "Type Great One" threads soon after your arrival here on 7-9-2012:

...so anyway fwiw Great One...I think you are an ENTP and an e7.

When I saw your function scores (the ones you posted in this thread above)...I believe the only reason I felt confident you were ENTP as opposed ENFP was merely because...if you were to switch your Fe and Fi scores around...you and I would basically share the exact same function order/usage/results I admit that freely. Since, however, I'm currently on the market for a new avatar...what I thought I'd do instead was swap my Fi and Fe around...and start using this...

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/image.php?u=15607&dateline=1368389903


My point is...is I have an advantage at being able to recognize you as ENTP and even still...once variants came into play I needed to be certain due to how unbelievably indistinguishable an 'Ne>Fe ENTP' can be from an 'Ne>Fi ENFP' that is specifically so-first (so/sx). Capisci? The only way you could be an sx-dom was if you were an ENTP. Which brings me to number 3 in the synopsis...

3.) You are ENTP sx. The reason you are 7w6 sx instead of 6w7 sx is this:

7w6 sx - often escape their fears and negative emotions by becoming 'addicted' to day-dreaming and subsequently replacing bad thoughts with happy, optimistic thoughts...(fantasizes about harmonious romantic relationships...or for you some you could say they 'think about sex a lot'.)

6w7 sx - often escape their fears and negative emotions by becoming fearless. <--This state of fearlessness is achieved by the individual's perception that they are highly sexually desirable and wield a good deal of power and control because of it.

7w6 sx - focuses on how *magically wonderful* the romantic other is.

6w7 sx - focuses on the feelings of strength achieved via desirability of self.

7w6 sx - 'They are sexy.'

6w7 sx - 'l am sexy.'


yes, there will be some overlap...but ummm...




When comparing the classic ENTP's level of sx to mine, it's like comparing a 25 year old mother who just had a new born's full and lactating breast to an old woman's breast that squeezes her breast and just white powder comes out (almost like sqeezing an empty powder bottle of Johnson and Johnson's). This is probably why I look more ENFP on the outside.

sick man.

Urarienev
07-03-2013, 08:53 PM
I think that 6 tends to make us all look a little more ISFJ

Yea I agree with this as well. In general being a six especially phobic, can make one look like someone with developed Fe. Because we don't want to piss off ppl. Then add sx in the mix an I think that adds more of this(at least not the ppl they like)

I tend to not want to specifically piss off new ppl I don't know (like on here) or with the ppl that I consider very close. But if I don't care for you and I know you a little...that's when I act least like a 6 an more like a entj. Kind of all or nothing.

Starry
07-04-2013, 12:55 AM
Yea I agree with this as well. In general being a six especially phobic, can make one look like someone with developed Fe. Because we don't want to piss off ppl. Then add sx in the mix an I think that adds more of this(at least not the ppl they like)

Hello Inari Love, a part of me doesn't want to interrupt since...if what you are looking for is a meaningful response that will actually make sense to a wide audience...you originally quoted the best person to provide that for you. But I became curious as to which universe you were speaking of in where sx-doms 'hold-back' in order to not piss-off people...including their intimates haha! [And I'm especially interested in the universe that is populated by e6 sx people that behave in this perpetually harmonious way.]

Much like the social variant can provide an individual with an overall sense of having 'developed Fe'...the sexual variant can make an individual seem 'Fi-y.' <--Now, once we start discussing the e6 sx...you basically want to multiple the second part of the above sentence by 1,000 [I should say that I do know some people that can immediately recognize the 'differing' expression of Fe in the e6 sx. But for the most part I see a lot of Fe doms & aux assume they are Fi or are repeatedly told they are Fi by other members. As an example, I thought an eNFJ/INFJ e6 sx family member was an ENFP until I was finally able to get her interested enough in personality theory that she would take tests and talk to me about her experiences concerning these things.]

phobia, sp - often have a 'don't rock the boat' attitude. Fe, so - seek harmony and will often avoid conflict even in instances where it would be appropriate to engage for the sake of harmony. And Fi, sx - these folks...of course they want harmony as well as it is a deep-seeded, essential human need...but they want authenticity above harmony or authenticity first. iow, the harmony is not meaningful unless it is authentic and subsequently they will push a conflict if that makes sense. e6 counterphobia will push conflict for the same reasons...and for all other kinds of reasons as well haha.

Anyway, I personally have never met a sexual-dom that will [naturally as part of their character] avoid conflict if there is meaning in it for them. I think it can confuse people as well...as it is often a 'loving act.' They can't stand side-stepping issues and want them dealt with so the relationship can move forward.

Lady_X
07-04-2013, 01:52 AM
yeah sxness can be aggressive.

Urarienev
07-04-2013, 03:12 AM
Hello Inari Love, a part of me doesn't want to interrupt since...if what you are looking for is a meaningful response that will actually make sense to a wide audience...you originally quoted the best person to provide that for you. But I became curious as to which universe you were speaking of in where sx-doms 'hold-back' in order to not piss-off people...including their intimates haha! [And I'm especially interested in the universe that is populated by e6 sx people that behave in this perpetually harmonious way.]

Much like the social variant can provide an individual with an overall sense of having 'developed Fe'...the sexual variant can make an individual seem 'Fi-y.' <--Now, once we start discussing the e6 sx...you basically want to multiple the second part of the above sentence by 1,000 [I should say that I do know some people that can immediately recognize the 'differing' expression of Fe in the e6 sx. But for the most part I see a lot of Fe doms & aux assume they are Fi or are repeatedly told they are Fi by other members. As an example, I thought an eNFJ/INFJ e6 sx family member was an ENFP until I was finally able to get her interested enough in personality theory that she would take tests and talk to me about her experiences concerning these things.]

phobia, sp - often have a 'don't rock the boat' attitude. Fe, so - seek harmony and will often avoid conflict even in instances where it would be appropriate to engage for the sake of harmony. And Fi, sx - these folks...of course they want harmony as well as it is a deep-seeded, essential human need...but they want authenticity above harmony or authenticity first. iow, the harmony is not meaningful unless it is authentic and subsequently they will push a conflict if that makes sense. e6 counterphobia will push conflict for the same reasons...and for all other kinds of reasons as well haha.

Anyway, I personally have never met a sexual-dom that will [naturally as part of their character] avoid conflict if there is meaning in it for them. I think it can confuse people as well...as it is often a 'loving act.' They can't stand side-stepping issues and want them dealt with so the relationship can move forward.

Hmm...well I could very well be wrong about that. I have only just begun to type people by thier instinctual varients. And so far only know one or two people.One's an ESFP and I thought he was an sx, but I could be wrong about that too. It seems like he wants harmony cause he's got a feeling function for auxilary...maybe he's actually so/sx. I also have not read this whole thread lmao ...I'm sure that would help. Thank you for clarifying!

Feel free to elaborate more, specifically about why Fi is similar to sx, I definately wouldn't mind.

Also, I guess I can "see through" the sx's intentions to the point where I know it's "a loving act" (if i'm interpreting what you're saying properly), so maybe that's why I considered it to be more harmonious. Cause to me, when someone wants to deal with an issue head on, so we can move foward with the relationship...that's them really catering to me and being harmonious with me. (personally) I know others don't care for that blunt manner, so that's me mixing up other's Fe with my Te. sorrys :/

skylights
07-04-2013, 02:19 PM
Just wanted to throw in, I believe one of my coworkers is an ENFJ 6w7 sx-first (sx/so, probably), and she is very confrontational - sort of. Her bark is much worse than her bite! It's interesting because she's Fe-dom and very NF but her energy is so outwardly intense. She is definitely counterphobic.

Starry
07-04-2013, 11:51 PM
One's an ESFP and I thought he was an sx… It seems like he wants harmony…

Well, not that there’s anything to be gained from this information…but I’ll still say… One of the most emotionally volatile, forceful, vengeful, hostile people I have ever known was an ESFP 8w9 sx. And, you know, I think a lot of what she presented with was truly beyond her control…but at the same time…she had a [critically important imo] socio-political cause she was fighting for 24/7 and it was clear she just didn’t give a damn how she came across as long as she was being heard. The absolute last thing she wanted was for people to get all ‘group-huggy’ and ‘drum-circlely’ <--which, I imagine, stems from an awareness of how things sorta stop getting done once people are allowed to get cozy. I’m biased here haha! But there hasn't been anything in my experience that would lead me to believe there’s not a correlation between ‘group harmony’…and a whole lotta self-important, ego-inflating, I-love-to-listen-to-myself-talk-while-simultaneously-convincing-myself-and-others-I’m-actually-making-a-difference…kind of talk as far as issues are concerned. And so very little by way of action. She was attempting to prevent harmony is what I’m saying and yes, I attribute this to her being an sx-dom.



Also, I guess I can "see through" the sx's intentions to the point where I know it's "a loving act" (if i'm interpreting what you're saying properly), so maybe that's why I considered it to be more harmonious. Cause to me, when someone wants to deal with an issue head on, so we can move foward with the relationship...that's them really catering to me and being harmonious with me. (personally) I know others don't care for that blunt manner, so that's me mixing up other's Fe with my Te. sorrys :/

I’m not exactly sure if we are talking about the same things. What I gathered from your original statements…was you were equating phobic e6ness with possessing an aura of having ‘developed Fe’…going on to say that this was evidenced by the desire to ‘not piss people off’ <--which honestly may be true idk. There’s something that doesn’t totally flow right for me with regards to that but idk. What surprised me was when you suggested that phobic e6ness and this desire to ‘not piss people off’ was seemingly magnified by sexual dominance…and while I believe I caught a glimpse into your reasoning - and if I did it makes sense to me this notion you had. But the reality of sx is the opposite. And since it wasn't all that long ago I was in the same position you are today...I feel happy to have an opportunity to share with you that of the 3 variants...sx is by far the most assertive/aggressive/confrontational.

The quoted paragraph above, I feel somewhat compelled to clarify by saying that for the most part when an sx-dom is pushing a conflict…there’s meaning in it for them. And when there’s meaning in it we are more challenged to regulate our intensity to achieve the degrees we have learned via experience are best tolerated by our sp & so brethren. Often times we succeed and are heard. Often times we fail and scare people. Or piss them off even more…or… I feel confident saying that in the majority of cases the good intentions are most definitely there. Still, pushing the conflict is probably not going to look like “Honey, because I treasure you and what we have together more than anything…I have a ‘relationship challenge’ I would like to discuss with you using I-language as opposed to you-language.” Even the most socially-evolved of sx-doms…even the sx-doms on the harmonic points of the enneagram (2,7,9)…can take what was intended to be an intervention and turn it into what is or is at least experienced as a full-blown direct confrontation. And oddly, the whole thing about ‘good intentions’ gets lost in the mix. I believe part of what you may be saying above is 'it's all relative' and if so, I do agree. And if you have a truly good-non-shithead sx-dom in your life…cutting them some slack on ‘confrontation presentation’ by remaining mindful of the intention behind it is good thing.

I was in a workshop with the ESFP I mentioned above where she was literally terrorizing the entire group with her displays. I, of course, wasn’t entirely aware of this fact as nothing from her registered as anything significant or threatening to me so I continued to not-pay-attention-to-anything-around-me-but-rather-enjoy-my-own-thoughts-in-my-own-head like I always do. But I tuned back-in when at one point she stood-up and threw her crocheting (haha) onto the floor in anger and omg…the way everyone in the group was treating her…right after they grabbed their pitchforks and torches…for the ‘crocheting incident’ as it was from that point forward forever known - Please. You would have thought from people's reactions she had murdered someone right there in front of them. And that irritated me. None of her sexual-dominance could put the slightest dent into my Ne-dominance. But people’s self-righteous reactions to her did. It’s all relative though right? :)



It seems like he wants harmony…cause he's got a feeling function for auxilary...

Feeling in the dom or aux position doesn’t automatically create an individual that will seek harmony over conflict…or harmony at all for that matter.

Urarienev
07-05-2013, 10:06 PM
Starry, thank u. You have clarified what i meant to say...that its all relative. And now yes i do regret saying that sx doms multiply the amount of Fe "given off" whether they actually have Fe developed doesnt matter. I hesitated when i first wrote that too...lol..reflecting on things now i realize i barely know any sx doms..and in reflecting on the particular esfp i was talking about...lmao it seems like the complete opposite is true for him. He is more aggresive and willing to piss people off that HE DOES KNOW. Gah yea i take that back.lol However the thing about 6s is true for really phobic ones..the only problem is that 6s r crazy...they r not just purely phobic or purely counter phobic....but i feel like if theyre really close with someone (which is hard cause they have trust isues) then they try not to rebel against them

Starry
07-05-2013, 11:59 PM
Starry, thank u. You have clarified what i meant to say...that its all relative. And now yes i do regret saying that sx doms multiply the amount of Fe "given off" whether they actually have Fe developed doesnt matter. I hesitated when i first wrote that too...lol..reflecting on things now i realize i barely know any sx doms... Gah yea i take that back.lol

Omgoodness...please do not regret or feel the desire to take back a single thing! This is how I learned and it would really embarrass me if you and others did not learn in the same way. There are far too many things that cause me to stand-out in a not cool kind of way and I'd surely appreciate this not being one of those ways as well.


...and in reflecting on the particular esfp i was talking about...lmao it seems like the complete opposite is true for him. He is more aggresive and willing to piss people off that HE DOES KNOW.

Perhaps this gentleman is sx. But Fi in FPs can certainly cause this kind of behavior as well. I would say all of us...although I have learned it is best to say 'most of us'...are connected to 2, 7, 9 which has been named 'The Positive Outlook Group.' I imagine it is confusing for others because it certainly appears we are striving for interpersonal and/or group harmony...as our behavior is precisely what you would expect to see out of an individual if he/she was attempting to achieve something along those lines. But what we are actually doing is far more self-centered.

Here's a brief description from the Enneagram Institute:


The Positive Outlook Group is composed of types Nine, Two, and Seven. All three respond to conflict and difficulty by adopting, as much as possible, a “positive attitude,” reframing disappointment in some positive way. They want to emphasize the uplifting aspects of life and to look at the bright side of things. These types are morale-builders who enjoy helping other people feel good because they want to stay feeling good themselves.

Since ultimately, we aren't seeking harmony for harmony's sake, we have no problem flipping-out on people and becoming aggressive when the situation legitimately or delusionally calls for it. This Fi-fueled treat is always a fun surprise for others.



However the thing about 6s is true for really phobic ones..the only problem is that 6s r crazy...they r not just purely phobic or purely counter phobic....but i feel like if theyre really close with someone (which is hard cause they have trust isues) then they try not to rebel against them.

Umm...If I had to type my large family as a whole it would be 6w5cp...and in this way I, myself, am very e6ish.
About once every other week I have someone say a similiar thing to me... that there is no such thing as a purely phobic or purely cp e6...and while I believe this to be true in the majority of cases...I know e6s that are purely counterphobic and I know them because we share the same genes. This is not to say that these family members are never cheerful, agreeable, generous, kind, loving etc. What I am saying is that...these family members never enter into states of fear. They are that confident in their abilities to handle whatever comes their way. Heck, my father is this way and he is e5 with merely a counterphobic wing. [I'm starting to wonder if people are mistaking 'counterphobia' for merely some kind of combative behavior? So like 'oh look, they are being mean now so they are in the grip of counterphobia' and 'oh look, now they are calm so I bet they are all afraid of stuff again.' Ah no. Becoming demonstratively fierce is just one way of remaining fearless. Counterphobics employ all kinds of strategies to 'maintain' this state...but alright.] The point I'm actually trying to make is regardless of where they are on the phobia-counterphobia spectrum...e6s...unless they are highly aware and evolved (and many are...many of them are on this site)...test their relationships. Counterphobics...they just come right out and test. Phobics that are not aware...trick themselves into believing they are not testing their relationships...all while testing their relationships.

Lady_X
07-06-2013, 04:30 AM
lots of interesting posts there starry! I'm a 729 also and like harmony n stuffs but the people close to me know that i'm not in any way conflict avoidant...

my bf is sp/sx and i'm sx/sp and i get upset with him for being passive aggressive and he gets upset with me for being aggressive aggressive ha

Urarienev
07-06-2013, 04:56 PM
Omgoodness...please do not regret or feel the desire to take back a single thing! This is how I learned and it would really embarrass me if you and others did not learn in the same way. There are far too many things that cause me to stand-out in a not cool kind of way and I'd surely appreciate this not being one of those ways as well.



Perhaps this gentleman is sx. But Fi in FPs can certainly cause this kind of behavior as well. I would say all of us...although I have learned it is best to say 'most of us'...are connected to 2, 7, 9 which has been named 'The Positive Outlook Group.' I imagine it is confusing for others because it certainly appears we are striving for interpersonal and/or group harmony...as our behavior is precisely what you would expect to see out of an individual if he/she was attempting to achieve something along those lines. But what we are actually doing is far more self-centered.

Here's a brief description from the Enneagram Institute:



Since ultimately, we aren't seeking harmony for harmony's sake, we have no problem flipping-out on people and becoming aggressive when the situation legitimately or delusionally calls for it. This Fi-fueled treat is always a fun surprise for others.




Umm...If I had to type my large family as a whole it would be 6w5cp...and in this way I, myself, am very e6ish.
About once every other week I have someone say a similiar thing to me... that there is no such thing as a purely phobic or purely cp e6...and while I believe this to be true in the majority of cases...I know e6s that are purely counterphobic and I know them because we share the same genes. This is not to say that these family members are never cheerful, agreeable, generous, kind, loving etc. What I am saying is that...these family members never enter into states of fear. They are that confident in their abilities to handle whatever comes their way. Heck, my father is this way and he is e5 with merely a counterphobic wing. [I'm starting to wonder if people are mistaking 'counterphobia' for merely some kind of combative behavior? So like 'oh look, they are being mean now so they are in the grip of counterphobia' and 'oh look, now they are calm so I bet they are all afraid of stuff again.' Ah no. Becoming demonstratively fierce is just one way of remaining fearless. Counterphobics employ all kinds of strategies to 'maintain' this state...but alright.] The point I'm actually trying to make is regardless of where they are on the phobia-counterphobia spectrum...e6s...unless they are highly aware and evolved (and many are...many of them are on this site)...test their relationships. Counterphobics...they just come right out and test. Phobics that are not aware...trick themselves into believing they are not testing their relationships...all while testing their relationships.

Hmm, well I'm not sure if I completely agree with even the most counterphobic person there is on the scale, not even entering a state of fear. IMO all sixes have fears. I was counterphobic all the way throughout the past 20 + years of my life. But I was living in fear. I believe it's on such a subconcious level that the cp6 doesn't even look at themselves that way, nor do others. Because they really don't believe they're afraid. I have just woken up to my phobic side within the past year or two. And it's been pretty life shattering lmao. I'm afraid of everything, things I just didn't even know I feared. That's just my opinion though. It may very well be different for other 6's I guess. But I'm still always gonna argue that shit gets repressed in the subconcious and may never come out. Counterphobic imo is all an act. Trying to protect the poor soul inside.

I don't think that every cp is merely combative. I would say more rebellious. Which could lead to many behaviors not just combative.

You make a good point, but I want more :D What's a good example of a cp just coming right out and testing and a phobic testing but not knowing?



lots of interesting posts there starry! I'm a 729 also and like harmony n stuffs but the people close to me know that i'm not in any way conflict avoidant...

my bf is sp/sx and i'm sx/sp and i get upset with him for being passive aggressive and he gets upset with me for being aggressive aggressive ha

That is so interesting!

The Great One
07-06-2013, 05:36 PM
Starry

Well I can agree with you on ENTP sx dom, but whether I am sx/sp or sx/so and whether I am 6w7 or 7w6 remains to be a mystery.

Starry
07-06-2013, 08:22 PM
lots of interesting posts there starry! I'm a 729 also and like harmony n stuffs but the people close to me know that i'm not in any way conflict avoidant...

my bf is sp/sx and i'm sx/sp and i get upset with him for being passive aggressive and he gets upset with me for being aggressive aggressive ha

I think you may be biased because we share the same brain haha! I get the feeling you are the only other person on this site that knows how similar we are. Like, if I was in a better place in my life I wouldn’t come across as intensely as I do on the site. But I know you are not conflict avoidant. Again, I’m not sure if people here or people that encounter you in public would think that. I’m sure most people believe you spread sunshine wherever you go. And you do… but it’s funny… every once and a while I’ll be reading and/or watching some exchange between you and another forum person… And I can predict what will piss you off because it will be the same stuff that would piss me off. And I’ll think ‘Ooooo Lady X is not going to like that...’ And then you’ll be like ‘WTF man?’ And then I’ll think ‘Lady X did not like that.’ haha


Hmm, well I'm not sure if I completely agree with even the most counterphobic person there is on the scale, not even entering a state of fear. IMO all sixes have fears. I was counterphobic all the way throughout the past 20 + years of my life. But I was living in fear. I believe it's on such a subconcious level that the cp6 doesn't even look at themselves that way, nor do others. Because they really don't believe they're afraid. I have just woken up to my phobic side within the past year or two. And it's been pretty life shattering lmao. I'm afraid of everything, things I just didn't even know I feared. That's just my opinion though. It may very well be different for other 6's I guess. But I'm still always gonna argue that shit gets repressed in the subconcious and may never come out. Counterphobic imo is all an act. Trying to protect the poor soul inside.

I don't think that every cp is merely combative. I would say more rebellious. Which could lead to many behaviors not just combative.

You make a good point, but I want more :D What's a good example of a cp just coming right out and testing and a phobic testing but not knowing?

None of what you wrote above is in any kind of direct disagreement with what I said in spite of your indication otherwise. I never said that the fear wasn’t at the subconscious level…indeed I believe it is. I believe fear is at the subconscious and unconscious levels of every human alive tbh…but in this case we are specifically discussing what we understand to be the fears of the e6. <--Perhaps I should first ask you what is meant by ‘no one is purely counterphobic’…because I can see it no other way than to mean… ‘there are times when a counterphobic individual is consciously aware of how fearful they are/their (e6) fears…and may even be able to articulate/express feeling fearful during these times.’ Is that not accurate?

Because this is a thread on sexual variant dominance though…maybe you would find an e6 thread in which to answer this in? Just mention me and I’ll come find you. And I’ll respond to those other questions as well. Thanks so much Inari Love.


Starry

Well I can agree with you on ENTP sx dom, but whether I am sx/sp or sx/so and whether I am 6w7 or 7w6 remains to be a mystery.

By agreeing with approximately half of what you want to/do believe about yourself…I totally increased my ‘agreement rate!’ So awesome. I’m going to do this more often.

Zarathustra
07-06-2013, 08:28 PM
I get the feeling you are the only other person on this site that knows how similar we are.

:truthy:

Starry
07-06-2013, 08:30 PM
:truthy:

haha. She's like my delightful twin sister.

Zarathustra
07-06-2013, 08:33 PM
haha. She's like my delightful twin sister.

I call you the haha twins

Starry
07-06-2013, 08:38 PM
I call you the haha twins

Oh God I know it's so bad. Most of my posting time consists of editing the hell out of my posts after I've posted them...and I usually end up removing a bunch of hahas...like when I've put so many in I'm starting to seem creepily intoxicated. I know I should be repping this...and I should also be repping that I don't really know what is meant by that specific emoticon that you used so I didn't really know what to say in response but oh well <--wait for it .................................................. .................................................. ....................................haha

Lady_X
07-06-2013, 08:47 PM
hahaha!! oh starry how i love thee! haha you're exactly right and that's freakin hysterical actually. :D

Lady_X
07-06-2013, 08:49 PM
Oh God I know it's so bad. Most of my posting time consists of editing the hell out of my posts after I've posted them...and I usually end up removing a bunch of hahas...like when I've put so many in I'm starting to seem creepily intoxicated. I know I should be repping this...and I should also be repping that I don't really know what is meant by that specific emoticon that you used so I didn't really know what to say in response but oh well <--wait for it .................................................. .................................................. ....................................haha

oh god... (refraining) i rarely edit but when i do it's mostly removing the haha's too!! i don't even think about it! it's just that i'm so laughy and am often saying things as i'm laughing and the hahas really do make sense...to me..

Zarathustra
07-06-2013, 08:51 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TIimigZOgc

Zarathustra
07-06-2013, 09:04 PM
[to try to rerail this thread which seems to have long been derailed...]

...when you post heartfelt image/music video responses to posts that sp doms would likely find innocuous.

The Great One
07-12-2013, 05:52 PM
Oh God I know it's so bad. Most of my posting time consists of editing the hell out of my posts after I've posted them...and I usually end up removing a bunch of hahas...like when I've put so many in I'm starting to seem creepily intoxicated. I know I should be repping this...and I should also be repping that I don't really know what is meant by that specific emoticon that you used so I didn't really know what to say in response but oh well <--wait for it .................................................. .................................................. ....................................haha


hahaha!! oh starry how i love thee! haha you're exactly right and that's freakin hysterical actually. :D

I'm gonna make a thread on this. I think I'm going to invite you both.

DiscoBiscuit
07-12-2013, 06:06 PM
From what I can gather, being an sx dom isn't some subtle thing that requires a ton thought to figure out.

It can be like getting hit over the head with a hammer.

Lady_X
07-12-2013, 06:28 PM
I'm gonna make a thread on this. I think I'm going to invite you both.

about haha's?? haha :smile:

The Great One
07-12-2013, 06:39 PM
about haha's?? haha :smile:

Just check your mentions list.

Elfboy
07-18-2013, 08:54 AM
Speed Gavroche
after reading through this thread again, I agree with all of your posts (except for a few that seemed Sx/So rather than Sx dom in general)

a few more (most of them a bit Id biased)
you know you're Sx dom when
- your energy overtakes the room when you walk in, even when you're not trying to (unless you're an 8, in which case it might even if you aren't Sx dom)
- if you are attracted to someone, your natural inclination is to pursue them like prey and not give a shit about either rejection or consequences
- when drunk or too tired to have full control of your inhibitions, you become excessively flirty and possibly perverted
- (if you are a 7, 8w7, 3 or 2w3) you look at celebrities and think they're normal people
- you feel tremendous pressure to maintain sexual desirability, not feeling like you are good looking enough until you are at least in the top 10% of most attractive people.

Sx/Sp specifically
- you alternate between being locked on like a hawk and a outwardly reserved demeanor that gives people the impression of being "pressurized"
- you can play the Sp game, get a stable job, be polite and get your work done in a competent manner, but, underneath, you know you're not really civilized and that you are actually a freak.
- when you go to clubs alone and people ask you "aren't you here with your friends" and you respond "dance with friends? I'm here to catch some goddamn prey!"
- your eyes emit a dramatic, laser-like energy that dissects the person's soul. sort of like this
http://www.freewebs.com/anime-masta/hbgif_4.gif

Stansmith
07-18-2013, 09:06 AM
When it looks like you have an extremely vibrant social life, yet you only have like, one close friend.

FDG
07-18-2013, 09:45 AM
- (if you are a 7, 8w7, 3 or 2w3) you look at celebrities and think they're normal people


Lol. Why is that?

Elfboy
07-18-2013, 02:30 PM
Lol. Why is that?

because people who exude attention grabbing energy are normal to you.

The Great One
07-18-2013, 10:16 PM
Elfboy


- if you are attracted to someone, your natural inclination is to pursue them like prey and not give a shit about either rejection or consequences
- when drunk or too tired to have full control of your inhibitions, you become excessively flirty and possibly perverted

I disagree with this. I think that many sx doms hesitate to approach a potential mate because they are afraid of rejection. This goes especially for sx doms with low self esteem.

Elfboy
07-18-2013, 10:23 PM
Elfboy
I disagree with this. I think that many sx doms hesitate to approach a potential mate because they are afraid of rejection. This goes especially for sx doms with low self esteem.

ok, maybe they will give a shit, but it doesn't change the impulse. having talked to you on the phone at length, you display these two traits in spades

The Great One
07-18-2013, 10:24 PM
ok, maybe they will give a shit, but it doesn't change the impulse. having talked to you on the phone at length, you display these two traits in spades

Are we talking about having the impulse to do so, or actually acting upon that impulse?

Elfboy
07-18-2013, 10:37 PM
Are we talking about having the impulse to do so, or actually acting upon that impulse?

mostly the former, but both.

The Great One
07-18-2013, 10:40 PM
mostly the former, but both.

Well if it's having the impulse to approach, then I agree but when it comes to actually doing it, I'm not so sure that I agree.

Elfboy
07-18-2013, 10:42 PM
Well if it's having the impulse to approach, then I agree but when it comes to actually doing it, I'm not so sure that I agree.

given some of the things you've said to women, I would have to disagree :tongue:
you are a sexual freak and have difficulty getting on in the civilized world because of it.

The Great One
07-18-2013, 10:44 PM
given some of the things you've said to women, I would have to disagree :tongue:
you are a sexual freak and have difficulty getting on in the civilized world because of it.

I don't approach as much as I would like though, because I often am afraid that I am not "attractive" enough to date a person.

Lady_X
07-18-2013, 10:53 PM
^^ hmm a phobic 6 thing?

Lady_X
07-18-2013, 10:56 PM
And elfboy I don't feel like I have to stalk someone like prey. ( not saying I'm not naturally the pursuer) but its more of a moth to flame thing... Must have that more more more type thing.

But I don't feel like I'm stalking or hunting haha just wanna touch the flame singed eyebrows be damned! Haha

The Great One
07-18-2013, 10:57 PM
^^ hmm a phobic 6 thing?

I was just thinking the same thing. Do you approach most of the time, Lady X?

Lady_X
07-18-2013, 11:06 PM
I was just thinking the same thing. Do you approach most of the time, Lady X?

Idk subtley maybe or just make contact in a friendly way. I don't really like to be approached myself. I guess unless its done in the same way.

But I honestly haven't spent much time single so were talking just a handful of times really.

Edit: that's not to say I won't be blunt once I've made up my mind tho.

The Great One
07-18-2013, 11:08 PM
Idk subtley maybe or just make contact in a friendly way. I don't really like to be approached myself. I guess unless its done in the same way.

But I honestly haven't spent much time single so were talking just a few times really.

Then how do you get with guys then? They approach you?