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View Full Version : What attracts an ENFP male and how do you keep him?



Lightyear
03-07-2009, 01:22 AM
So what attracts an ENFP male? How do you catch him and keep him?

My major problem with ENFPs is that they are just all over the place, unless you happen to see one on a regular basis through uni, work etc it's almost impossible to get hold of them since the ones I have met don't really believe in replying to emails or text messages etc. They are fascinating but just so bloody elusive, it sometimes seems pointless to invest any energy in building the friendship/relationship with them since not much is coming back. Or did I just meet some bad ENFP eggs?

Amargith
03-07-2009, 01:59 AM
yeah..we suck at keeping in touch, at least, I know I do. Try msn or another interactive medium, that's one way to keep in touch, and don't be afraid to bug him when he's online. Also, I dunno if you have had any contact with him yet, but I know that when I'm intrigued by someone that that makes me come back, as long as there's someone fascinating and engaging on the other end. You should be plenty deep and intriguing, as an INFJ, which should capture his attention if made aware of those things, I'd say. But I'm a female one, and our brethren are quite different from us females, so I'll leave it up to them to verify this :D

BlueScreen
03-07-2009, 02:30 AM
Agree with Amargith. Don't be scared to ask him to do more stuff. ENFPs dislike organisation to a point, but love closeness and personal contact. We sometimes suck at reading signals too, so being straight forward can help.

As much as we can seem really randomly silly, we tend to hold love on a pretty high level also, so are somewhat uncomfortable at the start of relationships when it can seem to be not very open and working on a quite superficial level. If you want to grab him and keep him, you have to go searching deep, and just be happy to affirm and show interest. Feeling is a really good thing also, and probably will win points, so relax and let the F in your personality show. We tend to see around the uncertainty and stuff, and will judge more on not being open than on someone being wrong or unsure.

Other good things are, philosophical discussions, art, exploring the very essence of what it is to be human and exist, looking to understand things... I think my ideal partner would be one who would challenge me always, and test me never. And always be open to seeing new things and exploring new possibilities.

Laurie
03-07-2009, 02:33 AM
The important part of keeping an ENFP long term is to be engaged. Always.

Tiny Army
03-07-2009, 04:12 AM
Hey Lightyear, I'm an ENFP and one out of two ain't bad.

Are you hot?


(The trick to attracting an ENFP male is happening to be in the right place at the right time.)

WieldingTheSword
03-07-2009, 04:36 AM
Do ENFP's take a decent amount of time to ACT on their attraction to others? Do they drop hints, and if so, what do they look like? Do they tend to initiate?

Amargith
03-07-2009, 04:42 AM
The attraction intensifies with each contact. I take a while to make up my mind about what that person will eventually be in my life. For instance, someone can draw your attention by how they look, do things or what they said, which makes you wanna talk to them. But if after the first conversation that spark is already gone, I move on. Is the conversation good though, I'm more than happy to have a second one, some time. However if that doesn't happen, I don't go actively seek it. Once a couple of conversations have panned out well, I'm more likely to come and seek it out, as then I don't feel as pushy and there's a bond. Then it's a matter of deciding whether the person will be a friend or has the potential for more.

BlueScreen
03-07-2009, 04:53 AM
Do ENFP's take a decent amount of time to ACT on their attraction to others? Do they drop hints, and if so, what do they look like? Do they tend to initiate?

Depends on the situation. I can be very forward and playful, or quite shy. But if I like someone I will normally make sure they have a good idea of it, or try to, so if they like me they can feel comfortable reciprocating.

There's a huge drive for openness also. Though you can't really use it as a sign, because I tend to be quite open to random people too, just for the sake of interesting conversation.

Maybe some other ENFP guys can answer more definitely.

CzeCze
03-07-2009, 04:54 AM
So what attracts an ENFP male? How do you catch him and keep him?

My major problem with ENFPs is that they are just all over the place, unless you happen to see one on a regular basis through uni, work etc it's almost impossible to get hold of them since the ones I have met don't really believe in replying to emails or text messages etc. They are fascinating but just so bloody elusive, it sometimes seems pointless to invest any energy in building the friendship/relationship with them since not much is coming back. Or did I just meet some bad ENFP eggs?

Hmmm, ENFPs can be especially scattered (or seem that way) and random when we're younger. Are you sure you have responded to every text and call and signal from an ENFP? Even though we seem 'elusive' we actually feel real affectio nand interest in people and if we get 'shot down' more than 1x or feel that you aren't really that into us or for whatever reason, feel like it's not a good friend 'match' - we may back off.

Especially when we're younger and can be more sensitive or hyper-NE'ish, we may pick up on signals that you aren't inerested or just need you to be around more (out of sight, out of mind is textbook ENFP) to get the ball rolling.

As for the other question ^^

Yes, for me if I am interested in someone I show my attraction/interest pretty soon initially but I also guage the situation and the other person's interest and response.

revolve
03-07-2009, 05:22 AM
OMG Lightyear - INFJs in general totally attract ENFPs from my experience! He probably is interested in you & if he's not he's a blind immature fool. I'm a female ENFP & I am on the constant lookout for the mysterious, quiet, loner, introvert with depth . . . anyways . . . if he's young than he is probably very scattered / ADD / ADHD & responds to whatever is the most stimulating thing in the moment (at least that's my opinion). Maybe you should tell us more about him??? I'd be curious to know where he is in his life . . .

Moiety
03-07-2009, 03:00 PM
Noigmn gave some good advice there.


Even though we seem 'elusive' we actually feel real affectio nand interest in people and if we get 'shot down' more than 1x or feel that you aren't really that into us or for whatever reason, feel like it's not a good friend 'match' - we may back off.

This is very true and has, personally, accounted for many misunderstandings. We are generally well-liked people, so playing too hard to get will probably compute as "it's not a natural connection, she's probably not interested in me at all" inside the ENFPs head. Like others said, don't be afraid to bug us, because quite frankly, we love the attention.

INFJs girls are right up our alley, so you're in luck. You guys can be pretty closed-off, so some sort of positive feedback is much appreciated. Feeling like "the weird chick is opening up" to us will make our day. Deep conversations are definitely the key. Obviously silliness is intrinsic to ENFP nature, but what's important is that you'll indulge in the other stuff as well - stuff that is not so down-to-earth that we can talk about it with many people.

I realize this is not telling you how to actively pursue a male ENFP, but then again that would be an answer far beyond my intellectual capabilities, if you catch my drift :P

Funkadelic
03-07-2009, 03:59 PM
Well..what attracts me and keeps me attached?

I like it when girls are kind of the boss, as I'll aid them in anyway. So as long as they stay attached to me, stay engaged, and keep things lively, I'll stay attached. I really like open minded people and if the girl is a little too narrowed or controlling, it's not that great. I like having someone there, in general, and showing me affection so I can return the favor. It's hard to be specific, but I guess just having a healthy, rich, and deep relationship is always a plus.

By the way, I find myself most attracted to INFPs and INFJs personalities, so that's probably good news for you.

Lightyear
03-08-2009, 12:29 AM
Here is the story for those who are interested:

I met this ENFP guy while travelling via coach from Berlin to the UK. We started chatting while crossing the English Channel and he told me that he had just finished studying Linguistics in Cambridge and was a vegan and a very active environmental activist who supported countless different causes. (Just our reasons for taking the coach instead of flying were very poignant: I took the coach because I was moving back to England and had so much luggage that that was the cheaper option, he took the coach instead of the plane in order to lessen the carbon footprint... I guess I am far more of a pragmatist.) We got on really well, talked for several hours about language, how it shapes your perception of the world and our country, environmental issues etc, he was just somebody that I felt I could really learn something from (despite him being a few years my junior) and someone I could open up to very quickly.

We arrived in London around midday and I had a few hours to spare so he offered me to come to his parents' house and I thought: "Why not?" So we chatted for another hour on the bus to his house, he was a complete gentleman (his EQ was a 10 out of 10) carrying my luggage etc, I met his mum who gave me some vegan soup :) and introduced me to their sausage dog and they both pored over the newspaper of the previous day, which included an article about some environmental activists bringing a runway in London Stansted airport to a standstill (who of course turned out to be my little lingust's friends :)) It was just a gloriously random evening.

In passing he mentioned that he had a girlfriend (though I am unsure how important your gf is to you if you willingly spend several months apart from her and instead prefer to travel all over Europe trying to save the world), so I thought I would still like to stay in contact on a friendship basis and he encouraged me that he would give me the details of one of the environmental meetings this weekend, if I would just contact him via email. So I added him on Facebook, he accepted the invite and then I sent him a message concerning the meeting.

And from then on I didn't get any reply. I contacted him via Facebook and via email and I sent him a text message (and one wishing him a Merry Christmas) but I didn't get any response at all so I thought: "He is obviously not interested in keeping in touch and I really don't have the time and am not willing to run after him. End of story." I left it at that until two months later out of the blue I got a message on Facebook from him saying, how in the last week he had regularly travelled through the station where our coach had arrived at, and he had been thinking of me repeatedly and was wondering how I was doing. I thought: "WTF??" but sent him a friendly reply, telling him that I would be happy to accompany him on one of his many campaign trails. And since then I haven't heard anything from him.

To me that is just a bit of a mystery. How does the ENFP brain work?? I personally respond to most personal messages I receive (especially if I have been contacted several times by the same person), mainly because I don't want to hurt the other person's feelings by ignoring him or her. I also wouldn't just ask someone out of the blue how they are doing, just to disappear again completely while not bothering to respond to anything. Especially in a very busy city like London I very quickly put people like this "ad acta" since I really don't have the time to play around, either you are interested in keeping in touch and put at least some basic (even if irregular) effort into it or you are gone.

WieldingTheSword
03-08-2009, 12:51 AM
Lol, your story, though not similar in EVENTS, reminds me of my own confusion. My ENFP (who isn't really mine by any means) acts very, very engaged and interested, and then we hardly talk for a week. It all seems like mixed signals, but I don't think it is. I tend to think ENFPs really do understand mostly how they feel about something. So the real problem most likely rests in our interpretation. Perhaps this is indeed a difference between NFJs and NFPs?

Lady_X
03-08-2009, 12:55 AM
what an interesting story...he sounds lovely and perhaps very busy and taking on more then he can handle, which we sometimes do. we're very passionate people that tend to be very excited by many things and underestimate the time necessary to do them all..he's probably telling the truth but then something came up...i can see that happening...i'm not that busy at all lately so i don't have an issue staying in contact with people but there have been times where it was more of a problem...but even so...you can't sit around and wait for the guy and you should certainly make it clear that you don't appreciate it...if it matters to him he'll be better about prioritizing.

good luck...i love enfp guys, my dad was one and i think the positives outweigh the negatives.

Laurie
03-08-2009, 01:10 AM
Until you get on an ENFP's radar you maybe need to remind them you are alive a few times. Once you get on the radar watch out - we can suffocate ya.

I think he is just really busy but enjoyed spending time with you so doesn't want you to fall completely off the radar.

Lady_X
03-08-2009, 01:17 AM
i know...my poor friends that i msg all the time.

BlueScreen
03-08-2009, 09:18 AM
Here is the story for those who are interested:

I met this ENFP guy while travelling via coach from Berlin to the UK. We started chatting while crossing the English Channel and he told me that he had just finished studying Linguistics in Cambridge and was a vegan and a very active environmental activist who supported countless different causes. (Just our reasons for taking the coach instead of flying were very poignant: I took the coach because I was moving back to England and had so much luggage that that was the cheaper option, he took the coach instead of the plane in order to lessen the carbon footprint... I guess I am far more of a pragmatist.) We got on really well, talked for several hours about language, how it shapes your perception of the world and our country, environmental issues etc, he was just somebody that I felt I could really learn something from (despite him being a few years my junior) and someone I could open up to very quickly.

We arrived in London around midday and I had a few hours to spare so he offered me to come to his parents' house and I thought: "Why not?" So we chatted for another hour on the bus to his house, he was a complete gentleman (his EQ was a 10 out of 10) carrying my luggage etc, I met his mum who gave me some vegan soup :) and introduced me to their sausage dog and they both pored over the newspaper of the previous day, which included an article about some environmental activists bringing a runway in London Stansted airport to a standstill (who of course turned out to be my little lingust's friends :)) It was just a gloriously random evening.

In passing he mentioned that he had a girlfriend (though I am unsure how important your gf is to you if you willingly spend several months apart from her and instead prefer to travel all over Europe trying to save the world), so I thought I would still like to stay in contact on a friendship basis and he encouraged me that he would give me the details of one of the environmental meetings this weekend, if I would just contact him via email. So I added him on Facebook, he accepted the invite and then I sent him a message concerning the meeting.

And from then on I didn't get any reply. I contacted him via Facebook and via email and I sent him a text message (and one wishing him a Merry Christmas) but I didn't get any response at all so I thought: "He is obviously not interested in keeping in touch and I really don't have the time and am not willing to run after him. End of story." I left it at that until two months later out of the blue I got a message on Facebook from him saying, how in the last week he had regularly travelled through the station where our coach had arrived at, and he had been thinking of me repeatedly and was wondering how I was doing. I thought: "WTF??" but sent him a friendly reply, telling him that I would be happy to accompany him on one of his many campaign trails. And since then I haven't heard anything from him.

To me that is just a bit of a mystery. How does the ENFP brain work?? I personally respond to most personal messages I receive (especially if I have been contacted several times by the same person), mainly because I don't want to hurt the other person's feelings by ignoring him or her. I also wouldn't just ask someone out of the blue how they are doing, just to disappear again completely while not bothering to respond to anything. Especially in a very busy city like London I very quickly put people like this "ad acta" since I really don't have the time to play around, either you are interested in keeping in touch and put at least some basic (even if irregular) effort into it or you are gone.

Not to cast doubt on the better of our type, but he seems very active for an ENFP. What made you think ENFP, rather than ESFP? Or do you just know how to spot ENFPs (INFJs generally seem good at spotting us).

I forget to reply to messages if I don't reply immediately. Sometimes I start replying and think, "I don't really know what I want to say." or "I want to say that but shouldn't.", then think I'll reply a little later when I'm thinking more clearly. Sometimes it just slips my mind though, or I think I replied already because I got most of the way through it but didn't finish. With that sort of stuff though I'm pretty big on replying back, because otherwise people feel nervous and get muddled. The other option is because he has a gf you move on and off the radar, because he likes you but doesn't want to betray the other love by acknowledging it.

Laurie
03-08-2009, 01:49 PM
i know...my poor friends that i msg all the time.

Some friends like to tease me that I say they are ignoring me if they don't respond in under 5 minutes when they are at work. Other people I've added to yahoo say that I ignore people in yahoo. It's really about if you are on my attention list or not.

I wish there was a more middle ground.

Lady_X
03-08-2009, 02:10 PM
Some friends like to tease me that I say they are ignoring me if they don't respond in under 5 minutes when they are at work. Other people I've added to yahoo say that I ignore people in yahoo. It's really about if you are on my attention list or not.

I wish there was a more middle ground.

i know me too..:blush:

Salomé
03-08-2009, 03:32 PM
My major problem with ENFPs is that they are just all over the place, unless you happen to see one on a regular basis through uni, work etc it's almost impossible to get hold of them since the ones I have met don't really believe in replying to emails or text messages etc. They are fascinating but just so bloody elusive, it sometimes seems pointless to invest any energy in building the friendship/relationship with them since not much is coming back.

Yup. Pretty much. They can go from making you feel like the centre of the universe to freezing you out in a heartbeat. It's kinda disorienting. Much of the time they have no idea what effect they have on others either...

Lady_X
03-08-2009, 03:44 PM
blue...you too!? damn...you people.

Frank
03-08-2009, 05:35 PM
An intj female. At least in my brothers case.

Wild horses
03-08-2009, 06:24 PM
Donuts??!!

Laurie
03-08-2009, 06:25 PM
They can go from making you feel like the centre of the universe to freezing you out in a heartbeat.

It's really not that. It takes some work to get yourself frozen out, but it is possible. If you aren't returning (or the ENFP doesn't know you are returning) their intense attention then you run a serious risk of being downgraded on the attention list. This can happen in relationships or friendships.

Salomé
03-08-2009, 08:17 PM
They can go from making you feel like the centre of the universe to freezing you out in a heartbeat.


blue...you too!? damn...you people.
See what I mean?
:D


It takes some work to get yourself frozen out, but it is possible. If you aren't returning (or the ENFP doesn't know you are returning) their intense attention then you run a serious risk of being downgraded on the attention list. This can happen in relationships or friendships.

Yeah. But you guys can be pretty paranoid too, you must admit, and pretty demanding. Most people aren't capable of THAT much intensity ALL of the time. That's why you end up disappointed so often. Chill a little. Take the rough with the smooth. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Just sayin.

Laurie
03-08-2009, 08:21 PM
Yeah. But you guys can be pretty paranoid too, you must admit, and pretty demanding. Most people aren't capable of THAT much intensity ALL of the time. That's why you end up disappointed so often. Chill a little. Take the rough with the smooth. Don't sweat the small stuff. Just sayin.

NO!

You scare me, you know too much.

Lady_X
03-08-2009, 08:22 PM
i've said it before but i'm sayin it again ne paranoia is a straight up bitch. :)

and no i DON'T see what you mean?! because my ne reads that so many different ways! ahhh!! damn...you people!

just kidding...kisses blue...you know i love ya! that is unless you want to fight...are you trying to fight? haha

Valhallahereicome
03-08-2009, 08:35 PM
Hmm, in my admittedly limited experience you must be driven and fascinating on some level to catch an ENFP guy's attention. They are looking for someone with depth, strength, and wisdom - be prepared for a lot of long, soulful talks. But since they're always bouncing all over the place looking for new experiences, you should be pretty gung-ho and adventurous yourself. Trying to be shy and demure won't get you anywhere. Neither will being fake or frivolous.

As to how to keep one - show him a strength of character and passion that he doesn't have in himself. He'll be drawn to your depth and want to explore, understand, and emulate you. At the same time, make sure never to tie him down and enthusiastically encourage him on his adventures, and either go along or go on your own adventures and tell him all about them later.

Of course, I have to put in a caveat that I've never been in a relationship with an ENFP male. But I've been asked to be in one, so maybe that counts for something.

Lady_X
03-08-2009, 08:41 PM
^^ that's actually really good, i think. :)

Salomé
03-08-2009, 08:53 PM
just kidding...kisses blue...you know i love ya! that is unless you want to fight...are you trying to fight? haha

Moi? :whistling:


At the same time, make sure never to tie him down and enthusiastically encourage him on his adventures, and either go along or go on your own adventures and tell him all about them later.

That doesn't really work....when you keep ending up on opposite sides of the planet!

Valhallahereicome
03-08-2009, 10:05 PM
^^ that's actually really good, i think. :)

Thanks! It's also partly culled from what I like as an INFP... glad it seems to work!



That doesn't really work....when you keep ending up on opposite sides of the planet!

Ahaha, and there you have why I turned down the latest ENFP male's request to be in a relationship. No, I cannot fly out to France and keep you company... ENFPs' lives are just too exciting!

Sorry though, I'm not really sure what to do in that situation!

Hyperions Shadow
03-11-2009, 01:51 AM
I know that I have a hard time keeping in touch, especially when I'm busy. Sometimes once I get the time to reply to something I feel like it's way too late to reply so I'll start a new conversation about something else. Often times if I'm still busy I'll lose touch again. It's not something I'm proud of, but it happens that way all too often, and it doesn't mean I'm not interested in keeping in touch with the person. It's also something I always feel horrible about.

I also have a tendency to contact people I thought were interesting, but haven't kept in touch with for years.

I don't know if any of this is particularly helpful, but maybe it sheds some light on how an ENFP brain works or at least how this one works.

ring the bell
03-11-2009, 03:29 AM
I know that I have a hard time keeping in touch, especially when I'm busy. Sometimes once I get the time to reply to something I feel like it's way too late to reply so I'll start a new conversation about something else. Often times if I'm still busy I'll lose touch again. It's not something I'm proud of, but it happens that way all too often, and it doesn't mean I'm not interested in keeping in touch with the person. It's also something I always feel horrible about.

I also have a tendency to contact people I thought were interesting, but haven't kept in touch with for years.

I don't know if any of this is particularly helpful, but maybe it sheds some light on how an ENFP brain works or at least how this one works.


I'm glad you were honest about this. An ENFP that I know has this problem, but I don't think he really has any remorse at all for how he can make other people feel. It's like he just drops people with no explanation and then pops back up monthes later as if no one should be surprised. I guess I'm not really surprised anymore myself after several times of it happening.

garbage
03-11-2009, 03:42 AM
Often times if I'm still busy I'll lose touch again. It's not something I'm proud of, but it happens that way all too often, and it doesn't mean I'm not interested in keeping in touch with the person. It's also something I always feel horrible about.

I think I tend to do this too.. I haven't talked to my best friends from my hometown since I moved away. I don't talk to anyone from high school. Since I feel so guilty about it, it's hard for me to initiate communication with them again.

For some, this phenomenon is okay.. they accept me "coming back." But most of these people are likely just acquaintances who didn't have much to lose by "losing me" in the first place.

Salomé
03-11-2009, 12:42 PM
I'm glad you were honest about this. An ENFP that I know has this problem, but I don't think he really has any remorse at all for how he can make other people feel. It's like he just drops people with no explanation and then pops back up monthes later as if no one should be surprised. I guess I'm not really surprised anymore myself after several times of it happening.

Yep. 'Cos you know, we can just put our lives on hold until you get your shit together, or you run out of money, or you get disallusioned with your latest friend/project/lover.

/not bitter or anything ;)

Moiety
03-11-2009, 01:32 PM
Yep. 'Cos you know, we can just put our lives on hold until you get your shit together, or you run out of money, or you get disallusioned with your latest friend/project/lover.

/not bitter or anything ;)


Pfft, yeah, like INTPs have a life!

Poki
03-11-2009, 01:55 PM
Ok, I will give away what I believe the secret is to an ENFP:) Listen to them. I know it sounds stupid and basic, but they will tell you what they like. ENFP will not force anything onto you. Listen to what they like and let them know what you like. In the process you will learn so much about them and they will in turn learn about you. This is the stage where they are seeing how they feel about you. Pick up hints like getting a phone number or them wanting to hang around a little more or opening up to things they like. They are feeling you out. The more they open up the more they will reveal what they like to do.

Lady_X
03-11-2009, 02:17 PM
well...first of all poki...i don't like you people knowing things about us/me so stop it.

Laurie
03-11-2009, 02:21 PM
Yeah poki is a little scary! I've noticed that before.

wolfy
03-11-2009, 02:22 PM
Ok, I will give away what I believe the secret is to an ENFP:) Listen to them. I know it sounds stupid and basic, but they will tell you what they like.

That's good advice. The ENFP I know irl all you have to do is talk a little about something your into then sit back and listen. Then you ride the conversation. Great to talk to.

I get the feeling I'm making no sense here?

Lady_X
03-11-2009, 02:28 PM
^^ why wouldn't that make sense? but i can't even the tiniest bit see why that's specific to enfp's doesn't everybody tell you what they like when you talk to them?

that's kind of how it works isn't it?

wolfy
03-11-2009, 02:43 PM
^^ why wouldn't that make sense? but i can't even the tiniest bit see why that's specific to enfp's doesn't everybody tell you what they like when you talk to them?

that's kind of how it works isn't it?

That's not what I meant. The ENFP I know has a broad range of interests and often has something to add to the conversation.

Of course I only know one tested ENFP irl so it could be just a completely BS availability heuristic I'm using here.

Lady_X
03-11-2009, 02:51 PM
haha...i wasn't be snarky. i was genuinely asking...i know that i like to get to know people by figuring out what they like...what they're excited about that sort of thing...but i just feel like everybody does that and has something to add to the conversation...but...you're right. :)

Poki
03-11-2009, 02:55 PM
^^ why wouldn't that make sense? but i can't even the tiniest bit see why that's specific to enfp's doesn't everybody tell you what they like when you talk to them?

that's kind of how it works isn't it?

:D Thats the kicker. Its all about listening, not fixing and some types will naturally try to fix other types problems. While some types naturally will sit back and listen to other types.

Oso Mocoso
03-11-2009, 03:10 PM
So what attracts an ENFP male? How do you catch him and keep him?

Err ... one of my best friends is an ENFP male. He is like you said kind of all over the place. He's been more stable recently since he kind of has a career now, but as a young man he was remarkably transient.

I tended to keep in touch with him over the phone, or when I traveled to places he happened to be (I travel a lot). A woman trying to have a relationship with him would either have had to be remarkably tolerant of travel or capable of having a long distance relationship. ENFPs are very entertaining, however. My ENFP friend gave a great speech at my wedding.

wolfy
03-11-2009, 03:38 PM
haha...i wasn't be snarky. i was genuinely asking...i know that i like to get to know people by figuring out what they like...what they're excited about that sort of thing...but i just feel like everybody does that and has something to add to the conversation...but...you're right. :)

People naturally feel that people see the world the same way they see it. I've noticed that tendency in myself.

Lady_X
03-11-2009, 03:42 PM
i guess so...i wish i could see things as others do though...i think it drives me bonkers that i can't.

wolfy
03-11-2009, 03:44 PM
I think it's more important to understand yourself. And what you bring to the table.

Poki
03-11-2009, 04:46 PM
Ok, this time I will stick to ISTP, I like messing with ENFP, I know what parts of me I can turn around to relate to an ENFP and what parts dont.

As an ISTP I will tell you what I like, I wont tell you what I dont like, this will have to be read into. It can be questioned, but this is opening myself up and a connection needs to exists with an understanding that you will hear what I say and not read into it. We do not want you to read into it that we dont like you or have bad thoughts or feelings toward you, it is the action. Its a comfort thing that you can open up and the person will hear what you say and not take offence. At that point I will also open up and feel like I can tell you what you said that affected me and talk about it without you taking offence.

cantuse
03-19-2009, 01:43 AM
Haha, As a male ENFP I would most honestly answer the OP:

To win over an Male ENFP, all you have to do is be the object of their affection. We pretty much do the rest, and additionally project all of your weaknesses as 'soulfulness'. :D

Keeping us around? Be patient, don't point out our shortcomings, observe that we take everything critically, and I mean EVERYTHING. And it helps if you don't become boring, or try and change us into regular people. Women, especially the stable and wonderful kind that ENFPs need, are apt to try and fix our weird ways which only makes us feel even more remote. :D