MSN Home : Is it Okay to Cry at Work?

[Anja]

Saw this on the home page of MSN this morning. Haven't read it yet because I thought it would be interesting to hear what people have to say about this first.

A few jump-starter questions:

Do you cry at work? (Or only feel like it? Heh.) How is that for you? Is it okay for other people to do it? What kind of implications do you think it could have for your career, or don't you think it affects it? Has anyone ever worked at a place where it's the norm? Do you think anger is more acceptable in a work setting than tears?

[Randomnity]

I can't see myself crying at work, ever, and I would be very uncomfortable if anyone else was crying there.

Possible exception of a family member/etc dying, where I would understand someone else crying (though it'd still be uncomfortable), but in my case I would leave work for as long as I needed to, if at all possible.

Crying in response to everyday stuff? Not really professional, in my opinion.

[proteanmix]

If you need to cry then you need to cry. But I would say it depends on what you're crying about. If there is a situation that anyone with an ounce of human compassion would find it appropriate to cry over then it's OK. If you're frustrated about the job or a coworker and although you can't help feeling what you're feeling I would strongly suggest getting to a private place to cry. People will view you as unable to withstand workplace pressure, weak, incompetent and I don't think that perception would be completely untrue. It's not the crying itself that would make it so, but maybe a self-control issue and the ability to maintain your composure that would be questioned. It's not a comfortable and productive work environment to be around people who can't control their negative emotions. Some level or professionalism needs to be maintained. Best possible scenario would be there's an outlet for people to vent their inevitable workplace frustrations so that it doesn't erupt in a breakdown and steps are taken to correct the source of the frustration.

I think there's also a gender issue at work here. I've seen one man push a printer off the desk and a couple more yelling at people in anger. Probably a generalization but men are more likely to express their frustrations through anger. I'm more upset by those expressions of frustration because I feel like I could be in physical danger. Somebody crying just doesn't illicit that type of response.

I've cried a couple of times at work myself, but I walked a few blocks away from my building to a park so that there was little chance of a coworker seeing me cry.

[Grayscale]

nothing makes me more emotional than when we meet our quarterly EBITDA goal


and meetings... lots of meetings. but they are tears of joy, i assure you.

[InaF3157]

I cry out of boredom at meeting after interminable meeting. Does that count?

Actually, it is an unprofessional no-no. So, on those rare occasions where it was unavoidable, I've made sure it was a private wailing.

[Martoon]

Originally Posted by proteanmix

I've seen one man push a printer off the desk and a couple more yelling at people in anger.

That's much more annoying to me than someone crying at work. If someone were crying at work, depending on the situation and context, it might make me a little uncomfortable, but I would most likely feel bad for them. But with people doing what you described, my only thought is grow up.

[Jennifer]

Originally Posted by Anja

Do you cry at work?

Are you out of your mind?

(Or only feel like it? Heh.)

yes, I've felt like it.

I would never cry at work.
It feels inappropriate and would likely only win negative attention.

I either go in the bathroom or (better yet) outside to my car, if I feel like I'm not going to make it.

As far as anger goes, Martoon's advice to "grow up" seems pretty appropriate to me. Just because someone is frustrated doesn't give them a right to act like a babyweeniehead!

(Why is it okay to lash out because you're frustrated, rather than cry because you're frustrated? Stupid double-standard, I think.)

[MacGuffin]

I feel it is appropriate for my co-workers to cry at work when I mortally wound them with my .45 after pissing me off for the last time.

[Jae Rae]

I cried at work when it was announced a young kidnap victim's body (Polly Klaas) was found. Many people cried on 9/11. Crying because you have been personally touched by something incidental to work seems to be acceptable. Crying because someone did something to you at work is problematic. It comes down to showing your vulnerability as a human being in the world at large vs. showing your vulnerability as an employee or co-worker.

[sanveane]

I cried at work once. I was working 120 hour week, most of the time I was locked in a room with one of the most unbearable women I've ever met. I was so frustrated with her that I had to lock myself in another room and cry it out for 5 mins or I was going to implode. Felt much better afterwards...

Couldn't care less if others cry at work... stuff happens in people's lives. Also the politics of the workplace can be hard for some. I've seen people cry because of things like that.

Crying at work about something job related wouldn't go down well if other people found out. Expressing anger in the workplace seems more acceptable.