Preschool, Yes or No?

[Tigerlily]

Have you ever been 4? Kids at that age don't interact, much less have a social career. They color in unison until one kid steals another kid's crayon. Then crying ensues. You don't get meaningful relationships started from a mutual interest in paste flavor.

By the age of four children are interacting. The age you're describing sounds much more to me like one and a half to two.

After speaking with my Husband, MIL and reading this thread (thank you for your responses ) I am going to enroll Ree tomorrow in the preschool that I mentioned in my blog. It was the original preschool we were interested in during registration back in February but they didn't have any openings until after the 08/09 school year started (three weeks ago) and now have 2. I am guessing that either the families relocated or people are fickle and flip flop around. Either way I am happy with the fact that Ree knows the direction and assistant director as they were also the directors of the camp Ree went to over the Summer. They're laid back and very nice so it should work out very well for all of us.

 

[ajblaise]

Have you ever been 4? Kids at that age don't interact, much less have a social career. They color in unison until one kid steals another kid's crayon. Then crying ensues. You don't get meaningful relationships started from a mutual interest in paste flavor.

I remember interacting, playing, sharing, wrestling, accidentally making girls cry... in pre-school. I made a few friends in pre-school that remained friends throughout regular school.

I'm not sure how pre-school was for you, if you went..

I mean, maybe what your thinking of is even younger kids. Babies and toddlers have no social awareness really, but by the time you're 4 you are starting to.

 

[Ivy]

Kids at 4 are still doing a lot of parallel play (which is what booyalab described) but it's still an important part of their development to get to do that. It doesn't have to happen in preschool, though.

 

[Tigerlily]

Parallel play is a concept from developmental psychology. It means children playing side by side without interaction. It is commonly seen among children of ages 2 or 3. Children younger than that tend to play by themselves (solitary play). Older children interact with each other more (group play).

In education, parallel play also describes activities where students are divided into pairs or small groups and work on the same activity simultaneously. This gives all students equal opportunity for active involvement and reduces the exposure. (Since all students are playing, none are watching.)

All children are different but I've noticed that Ree does interact with certain children. She was quite close to our neighbors 3 year old triplets boys who recently moved. She knew them all by name and could tell them apart (something I never mastered) and they interacted extremely well together.

 

[SillyGoose]

My daughter is 4 and goes to a home daycare. I struggled with putting her in preschool or not, the cost in this area is somewhere between $900 - $1400 a month. But, with my experience as a kid and watching my daughter, I don't think preschool will really do anything to make or break her.

My daughter talks to everyone. Children, adults...whatever, she will talk to them and ask questions. It can get embarassing, to say the least.

However, she is very nice and has always shown "charm" at least that is what everyone tells me. She has ingrained social skills, so I'm not really worried about that. Actually, no I am worried that she will distract others..but that is yet to be seen.

And as far as learning, she loves it and is already ahead of her peers. Although I read that kids catch up to each other in 1st and 2nd grade, so her advancement is probably not a big deal.

 

[booyalab]

I'm not sure how pre-school was for you, if you went..

I much preferred the company of adults in every daycare type thing I was enrolled in, but I'm not talking about myself. I taught sunday school and VBS for years when I was a teenager and still going to church. I also took child development courses and have read a decent amount on the subject. The relationship a 3-5 year old kid forms with his parents is way more important than the ones he forms with other kids. The only reason for sending a kid to preschool is if the alternative is leaving him to fend for himself at home. Or if the mother is a raging bitch or crackwhore and the father is an abusive alcoholic, I suppose. (hypothetically)

 

[ajblaise]

I much preferred the company of adults in every daycare type thing I was enrolled in, but I'm not talking about myself. I taught sunday school and VBS for years when I was a teenager and still going to church. I also took child development courses and have read a decent amount on the subject. The relationship a 3-5 year old kid forms with his parents is way more important than the ones he forms with other kids. The only reason for sending a kid to preschool is if the alternative is leaving him to fend for himself at home. Or if the mother is a raging bitch or crackwhore and the father is an abusive alcoholic, I suppose. (hypothetically)

Let's say the child doesn't really get peer interaction at home, how little importance do you put on peer interaction for 3-5 year old? The relationship with parents is important, but it's not like kids can't have that and go to pre-school.

 

[Ivy]

That's my thinking-- sending a kid to preschool doesn't mean taking away from the relationship between parent and child. I don't think there's a slider bar involved, where to give in one area you have to take away from another.

(I'd go to a slider bar, though. Tiny burgers and hooch? Sign me up!)

 

[ceecee]

I was very fortunate to have the opportunity to put mine in a pre-school at the school they would attend starting kindergarten. 4 half days a week at age 4. It had a good balance of academics (reading, abc's, numbers) as well as socializing. It did them a world of good imo as they were more than ready for kindergarten.

 

[bluebell]

Preschool is good for kids that wouldn't have otherwise been introduced to their social peer group before Kindergarten.

The main reason for preschool, in my eyes, to is teach kids how to play with each other, not to fight, how to share....

That makes sense to me. I'm glad I went through pre-school because I was pretty isolated before that and it meant school was a little bit easier. Harder to learn how to socialise as you get older, I think.

 

[ygolo]

"Necessary" is perhaps a strong word but I voted yes. I would like to send my future children to pre-school.

I think pre-school is a good place to socialize children. They have to interact with other children and also with adults that are not their parents. It is important for children to develop a degree of independence early.

Also, assuming they don't have a medical condition preventing development of an immune system. It is also a good place for kids to build up their immunity.

If a "good" pre-school can be found, it may even enhance cognitive development.

 

[violaine]

Yes from me too - I was very shy, it helped a lot. I would have found it really difficult to go to school after spending those extra years at home.

At the other extreme I've seen it help my little niece to interact better with other children too. She's very tall for her age, extremely exuberant and affectionate. She had to learn how to play properly without injuring others, lol. She's in her first year of school now. No way would she have dealt with the routine of school without pre-school first. (Her development went ahead in leaps and bounds after a few months at pre-school too).

 

[mooky]

I say NO!

My Eldest son went to preschool. I had a Happy well behaved little boy, and a few short months later I had a child who I didn't know, and had I not know better I would have sworn had ADHD.

Mind you, I never went to preschool, and had no intention of sending my children. I gave in to pressure from the family to send him, and what I found was that, IMHO, preschool isn't socialisation, its a place where fed up mums drop of their brats for a few hours peace. Children at that age are not capable of meaningful socialisation without constant supervision and I’m afraid the preschools in my area just aren't up to watching the children, or fighting a losing battle with the parents to discipline the naughty ones.

It took me 6 months to get my son back to a boy I recognized, and even now he carries memories of having sand thrown in his eyes there, something I didn't find out about until after he'd left.

I’m sure a preschool could be a positive place, and I’m sure a lot are, but I really don't believe that they can do anything there that you cant do yrself, with out the risk of them not being correctly supervised, and like I was lied, to about what was happening when you where not there.

None of my other children have gone to preschool, and none will. My oldest daughter started full time school a few months back and she has settled in just fine, without going to preschool.

 

[PureWhispers]

I went to preschool and while it didn't help me in the social ineptitude department (it seems I was doomed to that from birth), it DID help me in the important aspect of learning to be away from one's parents. I'm an only child and my mom was able to stay home with me all the time back then, and I vividly remember from my first day of preschool the feeling of panic due to my mom suddenly not being there. It's the first instance of being "away from the nest" for toddlers, which, while necessary, can admittedly be accomplished in other ways than preschool.

My conclusion is a toss-up. I don't regret having been put into preschool myself, but I'm not sure now if I'd want to put any potential future children of my own into one.

 

[JocktheMotie]

Yes! Ironically, I was the most popular kid in the class. The teacher would have to set schedules as to which of my friends could sit next to me at lunch on a given day. Then after that, I have no idea what happened.From grade school on I just felt inherently separated from other kids. I had different interests, different abilities, and I distanced myself from them and indulged in my interests instead.

Also, I think the relation from pre-school to better academic success and positives associated with it is not that pre-school magically makes you a better student, but it show that your parents take a personal interest in your education and most likely follow it up throughout your schooling career, which does wonders. Currently, I hate how the mentality of so many parents is that their children's education is solely the responsibility of the teachers, and that they don't need to do anything.

 

[EcK]

All the kids were retards. I hated it.
Didn't want to draw my mom and dad and stuffs like that. So they told my parents i was probably a retard, I remember the scene, the teacher thought i wouldn't understand the euphemism or something.

Quite fun when you think they wanted to put me in a gifted class a few years later.

So, yes for ur everyday child. Not for those over 140iq (yes real iq not the american tests where I get 180 or the online tests)

and no i dont feel like discussing iq with you guys.
But if they have special classes for retards why not for the other side of the bell curve.

 

[Jasz]

yes, for developing social skills that cannot be learned in a home setting

 

[penelope]

I used to be a preschool teacher, and here are my thoughts:

Pros:
-The children learn to interact socially with other children who come from different upbringings (this is necessary... and can be good and bad, depending on how easily influenced you children are. Some of the bad kids would rub off on the good ones and problems were caused).
-The children learn how to act in a learning environment, learn how to respect their peers and teachers (well, they should anyway).
-While they may not be learning their numbers and colors and how to read (it just depends on the child and the teacher and environment), but they do learn plenty of necessary things that help them develop faster when they enter kindergarten.


Cons:
-It can be an expensive form of daycare.
-You child is likely going to get scrapes and punched, kicked, etc. It's not easily avoided. Some kids just act out.
-You can never be sure about the teacher and the classroom and the way the school is run. I worked at a Primrose school, and from what I hear in comparison to other schools, Primrose is actually really good. If I had children, I'd take them there.

If you end up dropping off your children in kindergarten without a preschool environment, it can be really shocking and is likely to cause them to act out.

When I'm a parent, I'll likely put my kids in preschool, but only maybe 2-3 times a week, purely for the socializing aspect and the pros I listed. I also wouldn't do this until they're 3-4 years old.

 

[Tigerlily]

I finally voted yes because I did find a preschool for Ree that fits our needs and happens to be 2 minutes away from where we live. She had a rough first week (getting used to the structure) but is now doing great.

 

[01011010]

Yes.

I started school at age 3 in Japan. After we moved to the states, I was accepted to two gifted early college programs by the time I was 15. Early education never hurts.