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  1. #21
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    yeah- I'm not particularly disturbed by my lack of ambition- it lets me relax in ways that my more ambitious friends never really get. I don't want to be rich, just comfortable, and if I'm happy with my life and lifestyle I don't see why it's anyone else's business whether I'm "using my full potential" or not

    If I have enough money to travel and survive and I can retire when I'm old enough, I'm set!

    I just don't get the idea that a person should feel committed to using thier full potential... I don't feel that I owe society MY happiness and peace of mind!

    Does a person owe the full use of thier skills to society?
    I've always imagined it as two vectors fighting against each other... the first, being all the things I have going for me (natural skills, developed skills, the time and energy that individuals, teachers, relatives and others poured into me because they thought I was worth it and perhaps I could do something with it) against the self-preservational needs that i have (physical health, mental and emotional energy to give to my loved ones and people that cross my path sufficient enough that I can still treat them with love and dignity and not cut them down because I've poured out too much of myself, time to indulge my Ni enough that I'm a spiritually/emotionally/mentally healthy soul, time for pleasure so that i can actually enjoy my life's moments).

    I've found when I let one vector win (I give of myself beyond what I can handle to keep myself healthy and treat those around me with love and dignity, or, (more likely) I indulge my self-preservational needs to the point that they become wants, and those wants are indulged to the point where I simply put in time for everything else that doesn't indulge my wants.

    Both of those places don't sit well with my insides, when I listen to my soul. I believe there's room to move between the two vectors, but when they get to the "Hazard" zone of either end, I feel depressed with my choices.

    Give yourself a challenge, oh mighty NT one. You don't need to sweat blood over your job or career, there's nothing wrong with a 9-5er that lets you focus on personal goals, but aiming low might depress you later on in life when you're all settled.

    You can also do this by picking a less-challenging-but-still-a-challenge career and then looking for places to pour your heart and soul into outside of work (volunteering, mentoring, training for sports, etc.)
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  2. #22
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    But really, you just have to pay attention what you're going to do it's not extremely boring, in my opinion. Because that's what could really make you unhappy.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  3. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    yeah- I'm not particularly disturbed by my lack of ambition- it lets me relax in ways that my more ambitious friends never really get. I don't want to be rich, just comfortable, and if I'm happy with my life and lifestyle I don't see why it's anyone else's business whether I'm "using my full potential" or not

    If I have enough money to travel and survive and I can retire when I'm old enough, I'm set!

    I just don't get the idea that a person should feel committed to using thier full potential... I don't feel that I owe society MY happiness and peace of mind!

    Does a person owe the full use of thier skills to society?
    It is not anybody's business but yours. Still there will be people who see potential in you and wonder "why doesn't she strive for more?"

    I am actually a bit jealous. I've been a worry-wort most of my life. I was also brought up in a culture where doing your "cosmic duty" was considered a spiritual journey of utmost importance. I realize now, that the way I interpreted it was rather naive.

    I am somewhat obsessed with this phrase:
    Quote Originally Posted by Dalai Lama
    I believe that to meet the challenges of our times, human beings will have to develop a greater sense of universal responsibility. Each of us must learn to work not just for oneself, one's own family or nation, but for the benefit of all humankind. Universal responsibility is the key to human survival. It is the best foundation for world peace.
    But this does not mean earning the most one possibly can, nor even doing the best for you employer. In fact, it doesn't mention, one's job at at all. I now interpret it to mean simply being a good person, and helping others when possible.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
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    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  4. #24
    Senior Member Fiver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    Give yourself a challenge, oh mighty NT one. You don't need to sweat blood over your job or career, there's nothing wrong with a 9-5er that lets you focus on personal goals, but aiming low might depress you later on in life when you're all settled.

    You can also do this by picking a less-challenging-but-still-a-challenge career and then looking for places to pour your heart and soul into outside of work (volunteering, mentoring, training for sports, etc.)
    Very wise words. 40 hours a week, or 2000 hours a year, is a big chunk of your life. For me I always want my work to be something in and of itself too: fun, interesting, meaningful, helpful.

    I picked a career and had to change after five years. Too boring, too many rules, too routine, no creativity or innovation. Academically I enjoyed the subject. At work, I liked the people around me. It was just that the prospect of doing that work for another year became repellant and I switched to an entirely different area of business.

  5. #25
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fiver View Post
    Very wise words. 40 hours a week, or 2000 hours a year, is a big chunk of your life. For me I always want my work to be something in and of itself too: fun, interesting, meaningful, helpful.

    I picked a career and had to change after five years. Too boring, too many rules, too routine, no creativity or innovation. Academically I enjoyed the subject. At work, I liked the people around me. It was just that the prospect of doing that work for another year became repellant and I switched to an entirely different area of business.
    do you mind saying what kind of work it was?

  6. #26
    Senior Member Fiver's Avatar
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    Accounting. I was a CPA.

  7. #27
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    It is not anybody's business but yours. Still there will be people who see potential in you and wonder "why doesn't she strive for more?"
    I'd say it concerns everyone - it is socially efficient to have people with unique abilities/skills to be pushed into the positions there are less people suited for.

    I suspect that is what is at work here, in general.

  8. #28
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    A part of me wants to say I know and understand where your relatives are coming from-- They see you as a bright person, and for some it feels like you're cheating yourself and society by having a job that requires none of your intelligence. While I understand this feeling, they don't have to live your life. You owe explanations to no one on your career choice. If you want to work somewhere for 20 years, pay them to handle your shit, and retire in exchange for the risk of a corrupt union, it's your choice and no one else's.

    I've heard both terrific and terrible things on Unions.. never being in one, I have no opinion of them. If I wanted a job, and I had to be in a union to get it, I might just be inclined. Otherwise, I don't like people taking my money on things that I can cover myself.

    Anyways, nothing limits you from doing both though! Work your union, no one forces you to STAY in the union. If you end up seeing what everyone bitches about, quit and do something else. Get ambitious? You can still quit! Nothing's stopping you, so I say go for it and see where it takes you and to hell with anyone that disagrees! Not everyone likes chocolate, but the business still does well.
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  9. #29
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I'm well educated and apparently "bright" according to people but I'm really not that ambitious when it comes to finding a job that people think would be "fitting" for me.

    I don't want a job that makes me work weekends, I want 40 hours in and then be able to go home and forget about it. I want to be able to put in my time on a job during the weekdays, get paid decently, get good insurance and be able to retire with no real concerns. I don't want a job that invades my thoughts at home, or that I have to worry about how I dress as to how I will advance through the "corporate ladder." I want a union job!

    Every time I voice this preference though, people tell me "oh, you shouldn't do that! you're so much better than that!" or worse yet "that would be such a waste!"

    Why is it anyone else's concern what a person does for a living? And is it possible to be "too good" to do certain types of work?
    The Unions are good for some people and not good for others.
    My husband is not cut out for the Union because he is highly ambitious.
    He's willing to do the work of three people,
    and do whatever it takes to get the job done, and done well.
    The Union is demoralizing to him because it doesn't matter how hard he works.
    He looks around and sees his co-workers wasting time talking on the phone, sleeping at their desk or
    whatever, and they get paid the same that he does, and get the same raise at the same time that he does.
    He is surrounded by people who don't care about the quality of their work and he can't stand it.
    In my opinion, someone who is willing to work harder to get further ahead should not join a union
    or else they will get discouraged and demoralized.

  10. #30
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    I'd say it concerns everyone - it is socially efficient to have people with unique abilities/skills to be pushed into the positions there are less people suited for.

    I suspect that is what is at work here, in general.
    You have to take "willingness" in account when you evaluate "suitability", though, imo. An unwilling person is never suitable...
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

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