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  1. #51
    Senior Member Frosty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sprinkles View Post
    It sounds to me like the prevailing trend here is that you need to be more focused and present. That is what people usually mean when they say you need to get your act together when they already know you have potential.

    The problem with not being focused and present is that it can be hard to realize that you aren't. Heck, it can even be hard to know what it means if you don't know already. Unfortunately, focus isn't something that can really be explained or taught. And that is a problem because everything you describe has "lack of focus" written all over it, and what I'm afraid of is the general propensity for unfocused people to try and fix what they see as their problems, but what they see as the problem is actually a symptom - they're scatterbrained.

    It really sounds to me like you have the abilities to do things right but you need to find a way to calm your brain down and be present, and I think if you could manage that, the other problems would solve themselves. I'm not sure if your mind is too hyper or not hyper enough but I think it is one of those two, and that is hard when you don't even realize it, or even what it means to not be that way.
    Absolutely that is the underlying cause for the particular issues above, IMO. A lack of focus, no not even a lack, but a disconnect between what you want to achieve, what you know you can do, and what results you continually obtain because of not being, as you said, fully present, probably would contribute to a decrease in self esteem and continual frusteration. And then the frusteration leads to even more disorder, more inattention, and inevitably more frusteration. But it is a hard mindset to break- continual frusteration, because it is very present, and oftentimes trying to 'fix' it or having others 'assist' you by calling it out just aggrevates it even further. That is what I am assuming is happening to Magic Qwan. And all other issues stem from it. Sounds depressing, but it doesn't always have to be devestating. You just have to find a way to try to empty out a bit of your brain- be present by just slowing down and walking away from everything twisted inside, look at it and think about what is going on. Just take a step back. Look from the outside in, then look from the inside out.

  2. #52
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    I would ask what "get your act together" means to her and go from there. The rest of the tips you've gotten here are very good.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  3. #53
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Along with being scatterbrained (I have this problem, too...the blessing/curse of Ne-dom!), it can become worse when there are several people coming to you with "Can you...?" and drawing you off-task. It's important to learn to balance your own tasks and responding to requests and interruptions.
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  4. #54
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    There are so many days I feel like such an idiot.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
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    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  5. #55
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sprinkles View Post
    It sounds to me like the prevailing trend here is that you need to be more focused and present. That is what people usually mean when they say you need to get your act together when they already know you have potential.

    The problem with not being focused and present is that it can be hard to realize that you aren't. Heck, it can even be hard to know what it means if you don't know already. Unfortunately, focus isn't something that can really be explained or taught. And that is a problem because everything you describe has "lack of focus" written all over it, and what I'm afraid of is the general propensity for unfocused people to try and fix what they see as their problems, but what they see as the problem is actually a symptom - they're scatterbrained.

    It really sounds to me like you have the abilities to do things right but you need to find a way to calm your brain down and be present, and I think if you could manage that, the other problems would solve themselves. I'm not sure if your mind is too hyper or not hyper enough but I think it is one of those two, and that is hard when you don't even realize it, or even what it means to not be that way.
    I just wish I could fix that issue and not be stuck going in circles.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  6. #56
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    There are so many days I feel like such an idiot.
    It's easy to feel that way with so much going on, so many new things to learn, so many balls to juggle and new one getting tossed at you all the time! And here you are surrounded by people that already know what they are doing, too.

    It's okay and normal to feel disoriented coming into a job and it can take a while to find your way.
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  7. #57
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Default Is social work good for me?

    I know @Starry does this, and I am training to do fast track in this career. Is it all one-on-one counseling? I might be able to do well at that...better than dealing with the angry public.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
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    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan
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  8. #58
    subterfugee Xann's Avatar
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    It's good if you can get a cushy job as a school counsellor or something, but most of the other positions in the field are less than ideal and quite undervalued and underpaid, and it's also more competitive than you might think. Heeding Starry's advice in the other thread is more of what is "truly" good for you IMO. I would also urge you to not overlook how much a physical labor job in a more masculine setting would enable you with your self-concept and abilities rather than the more female-dominated fields, as it looks like you're seeking out more of what you already get at home subconsciously.
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  9. #59
    deplorable basketcase Tellenbach's Avatar
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    I see you thriving in an environment with few regulations and lots of flexibility. I'm not sure how much paperwork or regulations social work entails, but I'm thinking there are lots and lots of rules. I think you'd do better as a fund raiser for a charity of some sort.
    Senator Rand Paul is alive because of modern medicine and because his attacker punches like a girl.
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  10. #60
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xann View Post
    It's good if you can get a cushy job as a school counsellor or something, but most of the other positions in the field are less than ideal and quite undervalued and underpaid, and it's also more competitive than you might think. Heeding Starry's advice in the other thread is more of what is "truly" good for you IMO. I would also urge you to not overlook how much a physical labor job in a more masculine setting would enable you with your self-concept and abilities rather than the more female-dominated fields, as it looks like you're seeking out more of what you already get at home subconsciously.
    Maybe, but I prefer to do physical things alone, if possible. I work better alone, though I don't mind a little interaction here and there so long as it's not a conflict or uncomfortable interaction.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

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