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  1. #21
    Level 8 Propaganda Bot SpankyMcFly's Avatar
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    Dude, I'm 44 now and I only recently figured out what I want to be when I grow up Suggestion, find something you don't hate and could/can do 'in the meantime', study that, get a job/career going and THEN go from there. Life is like a river though and sometimes you don't know where it's going to take you. Those that can adapt quickly and as often as needed do the best. As a mentor once told me, it's more important to have goals vs. plans, cuz shit happens.
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... Some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age. " - H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #22
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Does anybody feel tension between the career they feel they should pursue and what their heart tells them?[COLOR=#333333]
    Sure. I remember feeling that way especially when I was a programmer. I was pretty good at it but it felt too narrow to me. I wanted to understand the bigger picture. As to what I am doing now - sometimes I love what I'm doing and sometimes I don't. It varies on a day to day basis. This week, I enjoyed what I did but it was too much traveling around.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

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  3. #23

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    Not tension exactly, because my decisions in this area revolve around making sure that I will always have enough time for leisure. I know I am miserable unless I do that. Sometimes I wish I had more ambition to do something interesting with my career, but I just don't have a lot of competitive value or interest in being exceptional and devoting myself to honing my skills in order to meet someone else's standards. I feel it takes the fun out of what I'm doing. The factors I prioritize in relation to career choice are personal space/independence, and knowing that it won't consume my life outside of work. I think I would be willing to do anything as long as those criteria were met, and I could at least live minimalistically off the income.
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  4. #24
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpankyMcFly View Post
    Dude, I'm 44 now and I only recently figured out what I want to be when I grow up Suggestion, find something you don't hate and could/can do 'in the meantime', study that, get a job/career going and THEN go from there. Life is like a river though and sometimes you don't know where it's going to take you. Those that can adapt quickly and as often as needed do the best. As a mentor once told me, it's more important to have goals vs. plans, cuz shit happens.
    Sounds about right. Today I volunteered a couple hours at my store to help organize the shelves in the pharmacy and learn a few more procedures. Everybody is short on hours because my boss's boss is punishing my store with reduced payroll for being inefficient. I told my boss I was fine working off of the clock, since the success of the pharmacy ultimately helps all of us in the end, but after a couple of hours she just said "You are the most generous man I've ever known and I love you to pieces because you're the best super-tech I've had, but I can't keep you up here like this...I feel guilty. Keep up the good attitude and you'll do well here, but after you finish up this basket and take care of the drive-thru...I'd like you to go home...it's your day off."

    To this, I told her I loved being there and I live to serve, so I'll do anything to help her succeed and impress her boss (my boss's boss). I told her I would come any time and my loyalty is to the success of the business and the health of the public.

    This is at least partly true, since I like the fast pace and serving the community and I don't particularly like to see people fail. Then again, I told her nothing about the emotional undercurrent I feel regarding a better place for me out there nor did I tell her I wanted to see her guilty, since martyrs get the most reverence. If I play the martyr card just right, and don't ask for anything directly, I can continue to ride my way up the ranks--known as the unbelievably sweet guy. I hate I have to do a secret agenda, as it is morally inferior to just helping to help, but if it comes down to it, I'll destroy anybody who stands in my way without a tear to shed. You're right about just doing what you can to get by. That's what I do, and just making the correct political moves will keep me in the favor of the scheduler. I've already seen quite a few improvements after I started using this technique, so I'll keep creating guilt in others while playing my actions off as selfless--which they can technically still be called such since they create a net good in society, which is what I'll emphasize. They'll feel so endebted to me, I'll wipe everybody else out. I shall be the paragon of morality, efficiency, and order--and I won't let anybody stop me. Woe to the fool who denies his fair share of labor, for even as I work on behalf of both positions, I shall turn the public opinion against them. They do not fit into my vision of society and thus deserve to be excluded by it.

    My mantra has been order, perfection, efficiency--and I have applied it to all sectors of my life to hone my skill.

    Maybe I'll find a dream job out there...somewhere, but these practical realities take precedence and I'll crush you if you deny my glory.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
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    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  5. #25
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Midoughni View Post
    Not tension exactly, because my decisions in this area revolve around making sure that I will always have enough time for leisure. I know am miserable unless I do that. Sometimes I wish I had more ambition to do something interesting with my career, but I just don't have a lot of competitive value or interest in being exceptional and devoting myself to honing my skills in order to meet someone else's standards. I feel it takes the fun out of what I'm doing. The factors I prioritize in relation to career choice are personal space/independence, and knowing that it won't consume my life outside of work. I think I would be willing do anything as long as those criteria were met, and I could at least live minimalistically off the income.
    Bohemian, hmm? I can relate to the need for leisure, as everybody needs rest and happy times to feel their best, and you do your best when you feel your best.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
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    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  6. #26
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Does anybody feel tension between the career they feel they should pursue and what their heart tells them?

    Interesting question. These are aligned for my overall career choice, but have become increasingly less so with my particular job, to the point that I am looking for a new position.

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I am starting to get a little better at these little tech jobs, and considering how long it took to get here, I wonder "Why don't I just stay here? I know pretty much what to do and I'm getting better at compensating for my scatteredbrained nature, so why not just stick with what I know and build from there? It seems straightforward enough, doesn't it?"
    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post

    However, I have a nagging feeling in my gut that I'm not really doing what I want and I'm not showing my true values and feelings. Sure, I'm a nice guy and considerate to everybody, and there's no problem with that--as a matter of fact, kindness is a pretty big part of my true nature, already. I don't feel authentic and I don't want to be generic. I itch to try something new and maybe create a few good stories I can remember pleasantly in my old age. I don't want more regrets. I have enough already. Who am I?

    To that, I say, I shouldn't let passing fancy get in the way of what really matters. I have a somewhat steady job and that creates security. I should not throw away that security chasing some will-o-the-wisp just because it feels "right". That would be folly.

    Then again, these feelings are quite persistant. I wonder if I am even majoring the right major is school--sociology. I'm a thinker, one who ponders the mysteries of life and the world. I want to understand the world beyond just that I experience. I could do sociology, but I could also stick with what I know and do pharmacy, but then again, a researcher in the field of biology or theoretical physics could be quite rewarding.

    Then there is love. Will I experience love...true love? I am wanting to learn myself before true love comes, but I feel anxious to think I may not truly grasp the ideal of love in life. I can taste the fringes, as I am in love with the idea of love, but how can I truly find the person I fall truly head-over-heels in love with. Love, not lust, though lust is fine is small measure.

    You need to do both. Ultimately, you need to follow your heart and do what will make you feel fulfilled. This requires that you know what you really want out of life. Not just what you are good at, but what is consistent with your values, lifestyle, and inherent nature. You can take advantage of the stability of your present situation to give you the time and space to figure that out, and to gather resources for your future: not just the income you earn, but the job experience, some longevity in one organization, and the good recommendations you can get from your appreciative supervisors. Sometimes you need to do something that isn't right for awhile before you understand what exactly isn't right about it. If only by process of elimination, this will help you identify what is right.

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I'm pretty sure every young person goes through this and I am pretty average for feeling these things, but I'd love to hear from some of the older members of the forum here where their life paths have taken them and if they are happy with where the paths led. Are you happy? I especially want to know that, as well as how to live free of regret and to come more fully into the moment. Life is passing me by and I'm missing it: there is pain--but my tears of joy are also tears of sorrow, and the converse is also true. My tears of sorrow are also tears of joy.
    Many young people do face these questions, and if they don't, they often wind up dissatisfied in midlife or their 30's when they finally realize they have gone down the wrong path. Even then they can make a change, but there is often more risk, and more investment potentially lost.

    It took me a few years to figure out what I really wanted to do. I sort of knew, but didn't have the confidence to pursue it. I tried a couple other jobs - working in a library, teaching, and finally going into the military - before making the commitment to my long-term career. As for being happy, it is not something I have ever deliberately sought. I find it is a by-product of being able to use and develop my abilities, contributing somehow, being challenged, and generally feeling fulfilled. So, i seek these things instead. Also, there is more to life than work. One thing that helped convince me that I need to change job is that currently my personal sense of fulfillment comes primarily from the things I do outside of work, mostly with volunteer activities and hobbies. This isn't good in the long run, but can tide you over during the time that you are in that stable interim job while figuring out your future.

    You might be interested in the experience of Sylvia Pankhurst. She was one of the women campaigning for women's right to vote in England in the early 1900's. While her mother and sister focused on winning over the wealthy and powerful, Sylvia spent her time with the poor women, living in the slums and working in factories to support their children. She had originally wanted to be an artist, saying once that if God had put her on earth to do anything, it was to paint pictures, however great or average her talent. She considered her work with the slum women to be more important and pressing, however, and gave up her dream of art, at least for a time. The moral: there is more than one way to follow your heart.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...
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  7. #27
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Interesting question. These are aligned for my overall career choice, but have become increasingly less so with my particular job, to the point that I am looking for a new position.


    You need to do both. Ultimately, you need to follow your heart and do what will make you feel fulfilled. This requires that you know what you really want out of life. Not just what you are good at, but what is consistent with your values, lifestyle, and inherent nature. You can take advantage of the stability of your present situation to give you the time and space to figure that out, and to gather resources for your future: not just the income you earn, but the job experience, some longevity in one organization, and the good recommendations you can get from your appreciative supervisors. Sometimes you need to do something that isn't right for awhile before you understand what exactly isn't right about it. If only by process of elimination, this will help you identify what is right.


    Many young people do face these questions, and if they don't, they often wind up dissatisfied in midlife or their 30's when they finally realize they have gone down the wrong path. Even then they can make a change, but there is often more risk, and more investment potentially lost.

    It took me a few years to figure out what I really wanted to do. I sort of knew, but didn't have the confidence to pursue it. I tried a couple other jobs - working in a library, teaching, and finally going into the military - before making the commitment to my long-term career. As for being happy, it is not something I have ever deliberately sought. I find it is a by-product of being able to use and develop my abilities, contributing somehow, being challenged, and generally feeling fulfilled. So, i seek these things instead. Also, there is more to life than work. One thing that helped convince me that I need to change job is that currently my personal sense of fulfillment comes primarily from the things I do outside of work, mostly with volunteer activities and hobbies. This isn't good in the long run, but can tide you over during the time that you are in that stable interim job while figuring out your future.

    You might be interested in the experience of Sylvia Pankhurst. She was one of the women campaigning for women's right to vote in England in the early 1900's. While her mother and sister focused on winning over the wealthy and powerful, Sylvia spent her time with the poor women, living in the slums and working in factories to support their children. She had originally wanted to be an artist, saying once that if God had put her on earth to do anything, it was to paint pictures, however great or average her talent. She considered her work with the slum women to be more important and pressing, however, and gave up her dream of art, at least for a time. The moral: there is more than one way to follow your heart.
    The story of Sylvia Pankhurst sounds like something I would like to find online somewhere. It isn't so much that I don't like the job, as there is a feeling in my gut which suggests I should "keep looking...this isn't quite what your meant to do..."
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  8. #28
    Senior Member Frosty's Avatar
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    I don't have a heart, its a black void.

    Anyways though, I figured out long ago that pretty much anything that I would dream of ever doing probably would probably be disappointing. The good of a job is always glorified, until the bad comes back later to smack you in the face. A career is something that you have to do every single day and eventually everything resorts to tedium. So now I am just going into a tedious miserable job that pays moderately well instead of a tedious miserable job where time spent in would not equal what is given out.
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  9. #29
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    I have a huge pull between careers. I do what I do because I am really good at it and slightly enjoy it. It comes natural, causes me no stress, and I make good money doing it. I am currently a senior computer programmer, self taught.

    My ideal career would be working with my hands, whether it be building, working on cars, etc. My balance is that my ideal career has become a hobby supported by the money I make in my current career. So when I come home I am not stressed, not miserably, don't need to unwind. I am free to do what I want.
    Im out, its been fun
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  10. #30
    Senior Member Frosty's Avatar
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    I think that is a good way to go about it. Not the ideal way in terms of what you exactly want, but probably a pretty smart way to go about things.

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