Work Drama

[SpankyMcFly]

Lay your cards on the table and have at least 2 segways out of the convo, preferably "positive" ones.

"Ya know I feel kinda bad talking about soandso with them not being here. Almost as if I was gossiping or something".

"Ya know, that reminds me I've been meaning to tell you, I try not to get involved with office politics, I'd much rather focus on what I can do/control".

This is where the segway comes in.

Remember, the person who is talking to you may feel rebuffed and you may just become the target of their gossiping as well. You want to keep them neutral while distancing conversations away from gossip, not antagonize them. Also, never comment on their gossip, it just feeds them. Kinda like a vampire or a troll. Unless you plan on making "a stand" on behalf of the other person.

Save the drama for yo mama.

 

[Bush]

Almost as if I was gossiping or something".

I like it.

 

[skylights]

Be the chill one. Be the nice productive one. Collaborate, create alliances. Listen but never answer.

Ditto this.

I kind of enjoy the talk because I'm interested in the who/what/where of it all, but you can always let them know you don't feel comfortable talking about someone who's not there. I think the key is staying neutral. Either you can be neutral and interested or neutral and disinterested. Personally I take the interested route and empathize where appropriate but also question when I feel like there is an ethical wrong.

 

[Frosty]

You really just have to try to watch what you say. Talk to your co-workers, as it really is not a good idea to alienate them, and try to keep the conversation about safe topics. Keep it as vapid as possible, and try to listen more than you talk. What I have found from most people is that they really do not care much about what you have to say, they pretty much just want someone to acknowledge what they are saying as fascinating. If you ask alot of questions, try to keep your tone casual and inquiring, malicious gossip is less likely to come up. Of course gossip will come up eventually, but just offer your honest opinion about whoever you are talking about, and try to deflect the conversation back to something a bit more innocent and generic.

Depending on the job, going to those higher up to you is not always a good idea. I think that it is better to at first go to the person/people you are having issues with and try to figure out what needs to happen to resolve them yourselves. People usually hate it when you go over their head without giving them proper warning, heck they hate it when you go over their heads at all, but at least if you inform them first its completely fair play.
Another reason to talk to the person first is that you just never know who they are friends with. In a perfect world it wouldnt matter and the issue would be dealt with fairly, but alot of the time going and complaining about someone who the boss is on good terms with can get you a big red check next to your name.

None of this will be a problem though as long as you remain positive, upbeat, and polite. Not always of course, but enough to show people that you are making an effort. Remember you dont have to really care about them, you just have to make them think that you do.

 

[Cellmold]

Where I work it's against the rules to talk trash about other employees. But then, it's even against the rules to cuss because it can be misconstrued as anger. Negativity is strongly frowned on in my workplace, therefore it happens only rarely. The best thing your workplace can do is make it a punishable offense.

As an aside that sounds like a fucking awful place to work.

 

[laurapants08]

I needed to read this. Where I work there is so much gossip. No matter how hard I try to seagway or ignore it I always get sucked it. It's like a vortex of Wtf!!! For 2 years I kept to myself and didn't talk to anyone. Even those who wanted to talk to me because I knew it be less draining. I'd only talk to people in the building about bussiness, nothing on a personal level. I've been trying in small amounts to pop out of my bubble. I'm starting to rethink this idea.

I made mention one day to the queen of gossip that "hey do you think so and so think we are talking about him all the time because we are?" Still hasn't stopped her. Naturally I'm guilty by associated but I try to stay positive in gossip if I can't end it.

Yea. I'm never leaving the bubble.

 

[Frosty]

Yep thats what I used to do! I used to just try to avoid everyone at work and just do my job, get paid, and go home. Unfortunately that lead to people telling me that I would be promoted if "I was only friendlier to my co-workers", now of course you cannot please everyone but unfortunately alot of people look at likability before job performance/competancy, so you just have to know how to target your audience.

 

[Jaguar]

I prefer the direct route. Tell them to shut the fuck up, then go about your business. Problem solved.

 

[miss fortune]

I just change the topic to things that I find interesting, like food... I mean, food's something that EVERYONE can appreciate, right?

I have worked support/leadership roles in departments where a good number of people spent their time bitching about what other people were doing and it was annoying... ended up stealing a response from a supervisor in those situations whenever someone would start bitching to me about someone else "is anything getting done while you're sitting here and complaining to me?" ... following this with a long and uncomfortable stare tends to get the message across

 

[Mal12345]

As an aside that sounds like a fucking awful place to work.

It's all about the bennies.