• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Emotional Labor

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I ran across this article about how some occupations, e.g. customer service, demand workers display a certain emotional state, whether they actually feel it or not. This subject has come up in some other threads, generating discussion of real vs. false displays of emotion and how it is received by the customer. This article looks at the effect on the employee. In a way, it states the obvious: faking it is work, and taxing work, especially if done for prolonged periods.

The findings should give employers pause about just how much they can fairly expect in terms of "emotional labor" -- the requirement to display certain emotions or feelings toward customers, clients and others at work.

"[Employees] could smile because they genuinely like their customers or they are simply happy, and in that case they are not engaging in what we call 'emotional labor' because they are not faking," explained lead researcher David Wagner, Ph.D. of Singapore Management University, in an email to the Huffington Post. "When they put on that happy face but don’t really feel it -- that’s when we start to have problems."

But on a more fundamental level, Pugh thought the research was important because it accurately describes emotional labor as the difficult, draining work it is.

"The big point of all of this work on 'emotional labor' -- being friendly and pleasant and upbeat as part of your job -- is that it is work," wrote Pugh to HuffPost. "It is hard, and it drains people just like physical or mental labor might. But it is often unrecognized as 'real' work, so people don't appreciate the difficult nature of this kind of 'labor.'"
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
Faked emotion is meant to deceive the victim, or in this case the customer.

Faking emotion is the first skill of the manipulator. And it works.

And not only do we fake emotion at work for money, we also fake emotion in relationships to get what we want and avoid what we don't want.

Learning to lie is a life milestone of two year olds. And so we also learn at an early age to lie about our emotions.

The price of lying about our emotions is that our emotional life stagnates or is strangled, and we may even lose the ability of spontaneous emotion.

Losing spontaneous emotion ruins our friendships, ruins our sexual relationships, and ruins our creativity.
 

Chthonic

New member
Joined
Jun 18, 2014
Messages
683
Yes it is real work. Personally I think we should accept more normal ranges of human mood and behaviour than happy, shiney, smiley. Its an added burden to someone who does not feel that way to act that way just because it makes others feel okay. I'm not saying rudeness should be accepted, but I am saying more mellow expressions than enthusiasm should be seen as normal rather than a sign that somethings wrong.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Cool that you posted this. I was just thinking a couple of days ago at my customer-service-heavy job (which I just quit!! YAY!!) about how it is difficult to maintain that facade. My boyfriend and I were chatting later since he's worked a similar position and he pointed out how challenging it can be to recover in between customers, when you have someone who is particularly derogatory and essentially no recovery time to deal with the way you have been treated.

Unfortunately at the company we worked for there was very little support in the way of backing up employees against customer misbehavior. I feel that in jobs dealing with this kind of necessary emotional output, there needs to be more support for laborers (though I feel like that is true with for-profit corporations in the US in general). I felt many times like my job asked me to sacrifice my self-worth for the sake of "customer service"... I had been instructed a number of times to lie to customers. How in any way is that a part of a respectable business, much less a reasonable expectation of a self-respecting person?

It is one thing to be required to calmly and professionally deal with someone rude - that's a good skill to have in life and perfectly reasonable for an employer to expect - but having to respond with a happy face and agreement to personal insult and micro-aggression (I've had someone throw product at me!) seems like it should fall under workers' rights and protection. Too often I have seen employees just trying to get through the day getting punished for reaching personal limits. One of my coworkers was fired after defending himself against a racist comment. No one should have to endure racism at work, much less be punished for it.

I also think that encouraging that sort of misbehavior on the customers' parts has negative repercussions for society at large - not to mention that it ultimately may have a surprisingly negative impact on the bottom line because customers begin to feel entitled to compensation and quickly learn that they can leverage personal attacks as a means of getting free product. Those kinds of people and problems IMO should be handled by management or dedicated customer service reps who have gone through de-escalation training.

Chthonic said:
more mellow expressions than enthusiasm should be seen as normal [...]

Haha, almost nothing worse than getting jumped by a hyper-bubbly salesperson the moment you walk in the door. Besides being required to be that hyper-bubbly salesperson.
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

Up the Wolves
Joined
Jul 24, 2008
Messages
19,449
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
skylights said:
I also think that encouraging that sort of misbehavior on the customers' parts has negative repercussions for society at large - not to mention that it ultimately may have a surprisingly negative impact on the bottom line because customers begin to feel entitled to compensation and quickly learn that they can leverage personal attacks as a means of getting free product.

I think the dude who used to work in my department who got fired a few days ago was actually doing this. Twice a week, he would call up companies, and demand a refund, using the most obnoxious tactics possible (which is ironic). It seemed really shady. Once or twice I could understand, but it didn't just happen twice. He would get on the phone and start aggressively complaining about bad service, and demand a refund. This guy was a lot ruder than I was on the phone, too, and was strange even by my standards. He also had the same first name as me, so I would get calls from people he talked to before.

I have developed strategies for handling difficult people, or at least things that cover my own butt. It's shocking how often people will ignore good advice in lieu of maintaining an illusion of control and gratifying their own ego. You just have to be the adult in the room, and you'll come out ok. Also, my supervisor used to do the same job as me, so that helps.

But the other side is that lots of people I talk to aren't especially difficult, if they've had a good experience so far. They are pleasant enough even if they aren't particularly knowledgable.

Do I need a new job? Probably. But there are other things about it I like. Usually, even with a bad call, if I just have 15 minutes before the next one, I'm good.
 

ginniebean

New member
Joined
Jun 24, 2014
Messages
29
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
I find the requirement to maintain cheerfulness as a job requirement too difficult. It's not worth it for me.
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
13,964
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
8
As a hyper, energetic, cheerful person.. I'd say I definitely appreciate more chill, laid-back, and not angry or upset but not exactly thrilled either demeanor in workers. I don't really care if my waitress is enthusiastic--but also it means they stand out more when they are. If everyone just did how they normally do.. communicating to others that you're fine, but not necessarily lying to them about your tone either.. then the cheery waiter that cracks jokes is more enjoyable than he would be if everyone was forced to be more like him.

I think it's important that people learn to enjoy the work they do. But.. I don't think enjoying your work has to come across as eating it up for breakfast each morning like you're a kid getting a bag of mini kit kats as cereal.

I think it was [MENTION=219]Metamorphosis[/MENTION] telling me about how they always wanted him to be more cheerful as a waiter.. but he seemed to do okay (besides a few stories) in reality with just being the mechanical "Yeah, so, here's your food, and uh.. I'll help ya out if you need it" sort of attitude. Maybe I'm recalling it wrong now...
 

chickpea

perfect person
Joined
Sep 12, 2009
Messages
5,729
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I've been asked to do this at my current job. I'm always nice, polite and helpful with customers but I've been told I'm "too laid-back" and need to act more peppy and enthusiastic which I resent.

Happened at my job as a grocery store cashier too, I was told I wasn't making enough conversation wih the customers and was given a list of potential ice breakers, a lot of which seemed pretty invasive to me and would weird me out if a cashier were to say them to me.
 

The Ü™

Permabanned
Joined
May 26, 2007
Messages
11,910
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Keeping a facade of politeness even when clients or customers are pissing you off takes a lot more energy than just blowing up in a towering rage and aggressively throwing things at them. It might not seem like it, but I think you burn more energy from doing the former.

When I'm at a restaurant, I don't really notice the quality of service. I don't pay attention to whether the waitress is a bitch or not, but I think that when they're friendly and flirty, it comes off as sorta manipulative. I'm just there to have a clean meal cooked by someone else. I'm probably the only one who thinks this way, apparently.

Oh yeah, and cutting people off for drinquing "too much" is very bad customer service.

Needless to say, I usually got fired from customer service jobs because it's just so frustrating to deal with people. Most common complaint from employers is that I have to control my temper. But I am controlling my temper...and I'm focusing it on the customer.

I'm better suited as an independent contractor, that way no one can tell me how to run my business.
 

gromit

likes this
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
Yeah we talk about this quite a bit in PT school. You want to be empathetic and compassionate with the patient, put their emotions first (eg if you are having a bad day, not let it interfere with their treatment). And then, at the same time, you have to not become too involved with the empathy and compassion that you cannot let it go at the end of the day and the patient's problems begin to consume you.

It seems like it is going to be difficult to strike that balance.

Hopefully (and I believe this to be true) the work will be more fulfilling such that there is more genuine emotion and less having to put on a mask than something like taking orders at McDonalds.

Although I am sure that happens as well.
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
They say women do the emotional work in a relationship.

What does this mean?
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I find the requirement to maintain cheerfulness as a job requirement too difficult. It's not worth it for me.
I have been fortunate in avoiding this kind of requirement in my jobs. Even when I worked briefly as a pharmacy cashier, standard courtesy was more than enough. (I sometimes got compliments on how polite I was, and patient with the elderly customers.)

I see no reason for rudeness, but have no patience with faked emotion in a work or business setting. I have no patience with it anywhere, actually. For that matter, too much genuine emotion can be off-putting in the professional arena. Save it for home or friends.

Haha, almost nothing worse than getting jumped by a hyper-bubbly salesperson the moment you walk in the door. Besides being required to be that hyper-bubbly salesperson.
Having such a job would be torture. It's a bit like stupid things. I don't like it when other people do stupid things, but like it far less when I am required to do them.

They say women do the emotional work in a relationship.

What does this mean?
Who are "they" that have given us such a broad (over)generalization?
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Unfortunately at the company we worked for there was very little support in the way of backing up employees against customer misbehavior. I feel that in jobs dealing with this kind of necessary emotional output, there needs to be more support for laborers (though I feel like that is true with for-profit corporations in the US in general). I felt many times like my job asked me to sacrifice my self-worth for the sake of "customer service"... I had been instructed a number of times to lie to customers. How in any way is that a part of a respectable business, much less a reasonable expectation of a self-respecting person?

It is one thing to be required to calmly and professionally deal with someone rude - that's a good skill to have in life and perfectly reasonable for an employer to expect - but having to respond with a happy face and agreement to personal insult and micro-aggression (I've had someone throw product at me!) seems like it should fall under workers' rights and protection. Too often I have seen employees just trying to get through the day getting punished for reaching personal limits. One of my coworkers was fired after defending himself against a racist comment. No one should have to endure racism at work, much less be punished for it.

^This so much. I've had some CS jobs and it always seemed to me that providing "good customer service" meant tolerating abuse which is something no one should be asked to do.

I have do some CS now for my job now and it can get ugly. I get emergency faxes and have to carry my department's beeper (yes...we use a beeper! :D ). I've had to talk to angry doctors and nurses wanting to know why they haven't received the info they requested. By the time they call, they're really pissed off because they've been requesting this info all day so all that falls on me even though I had nothing to do with it. I get at least one call per day like this...sometimes more and yeah, it can be draining. It's frustrating to be yelled at for something you had no hand in but at the same time, I can understand why they are upset and frustrated to.

Fortunately, hospitals don't tolerate abuse from doctors like they used to. Doctors used to be able to get away with all kinds of stuff but they won't tolerate that now.
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
Emotional Work and Poor Pay

Naturally there is little emotional support for wives who do the emotional work in a relationship.

The emotional work is devalued, ignored, and remains invisible. And so the wife also remains invisible.

And when the relationship turns overtly abusive towards the wife, the wife is told to emotionally support her husband.

The emotional work both inside and outside the home is not understood and is ignored, just so the emotional work can be poorly paid.
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
5,059
MBTI Type
INtp
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Cool that you posted this. I was just thinking a couple of days ago at my customer-service-heavy job (which I just quit!! YAY!!) about how it is difficult to maintain that facade. My boyfriend and I were chatting later since he's worked a similar position and he pointed out how challenging it can be to recover in between customers, when you have someone who is particularly derogatory and essentially no recovery time to deal with the way you have been treated.

Unfortunately at the company we worked for there was very little support in the way of backing up employees against customer misbehavior. I feel that in jobs dealing with this kind of necessary emotional output, there needs to be more support for laborers (though I feel like that is true with for-profit corporations in the US in general). I felt many times like my job asked me to sacrifice my self-worth for the sake of "customer service"... I had been instructed a number of times to lie to customers. How in any way is that a part of a respectable business, much less a reasonable expectation of a self-respecting person?

It is one thing to be required to calmly and professionally deal with someone rude - that's a good skill to have in life and perfectly reasonable for an employer to expect - but having to respond with a happy face and agreement to personal insult and micro-aggression (I've had someone throw product at me!) seems like it should fall under workers' rights and protection. Too often I have seen employees just trying to get through the day getting punished for reaching personal limits. One of my coworkers was fired after defending himself against a racist comment. No one should have to endure racism at work, much less be punished for it.

I also think that encouraging that sort of misbehavior on the customers' parts has negative repercussions for society at large - not to mention that it ultimately may have a surprisingly negative impact on the bottom line because customers begin to feel entitled to compensation and quickly learn that they can leverage personal attacks as a means of getting free product. Those kinds of people and problems IMO should be handled by management or dedicated customer service reps who have gone through de-escalation training.

Haha, almost nothing worse than getting jumped by a hyper-bubbly salesperson the moment you walk in the door. Besides being required to be that hyper-bubbly salesperson.

Very well said. I don't agree with the statement "the customer is always right." There are limits. The customer is usually right- now that makes sense. It's like some of these companies have lost their common sense about what's semi-rude and what's downright insulting and inappropriate. Someone shouldn't get fired because they defend themselves against a racist comment or refuse to serve a customer who throws a product at them.

I work in a library. It's customer service in a sense- answer the peoples' reference questions, tell them what they need to get a library card, etc. And where I work, we are expected to be civil and pleasant towards customers but we do have limits. We don't have to put up with racist comments or things thrown at us. That warrants an incident report being filled out and the customer asked to leave the library for a designated amount of time. If they come back before their ban is completed, they get issued a trespass notice. We're also lucky that we have security officers where I work.
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
We can be easily misled by those doing emotional work.

On the surface they are friendly and engaged, but when we try to engage them spontaneously as persons, we find there is no depth to their friendliness, nor is there any spontaneity.

And there is no emotional spontaneity because they are following rules. And these are emotional rules which preclude spontaneity.

And indeed we might say exactly the same for mbti which is a set of rules that preclude spontaneity.

And this is the hallmark of a consumer culture: there is no spontaneity.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
We can be easily misled by those doing emotional work.

On the surface they are friendly and engaged, but when we try to engage them spontaneously as persons, we find there is no depth to their friendliness, nor is there any spontaneity.

And there is no emotional spontaneity because they are following rules. And these are emotional rules which preclude spontaneity.
These employees are just the mouthpiece for policies formed by others, usually higher up in their organizations. Their emotional labor is supposed to smooth the way for imposition of these policies, in some effort perhaps to make them more palatable to the public on whom they are imposed. Think flight attendants, medical office staff, many/most customer service representatives. They do the "dirty work" of policy enforcement, while those actually making the policies are insulated from direct interactions with the people affected.
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
These employees are just the mouthpiece for policies formed by others, usually higher up in their organizations. Their emotional labor is supposed to smooth the way for imposition of these policies, in some effort perhaps to make them more palatable to the public on whom they are imposed. Think flight attendants, medical office staff, many/most customer service representatives. They do the "dirty work" of policy enforcement, while those actually making the policies are insulated from direct interactions with the people affected.

Yes, RHIP (rank hath its privileges).
 

Forever_Jung

Active member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
2,644
MBTI Type
ESFJ
We can be easily misled by those doing emotional work.

On the surface they are friendly and engaged, but when we try to engage them spontaneously as persons, we find there is no depth to their friendliness, nor is there any spontaneity.

And there is no emotional spontaneity because they are following rules. And these are emotional rules which preclude spontaneity.

And indeed we might say exactly the same for mbti which is a set of rules that preclude spontaneity.

And this is the hallmark of a consumer culture: there is no spontaneity.

I don't think it has to be that way. I mean, there are certain limitations to working within this sort of framework of rules, but if you get creative, you can demonstrate a great deal of spontaneous warmth at such a job. I often say things to customers that are "unprofessional", but I have been getting away with it for years now because customers love genuine interactions.

A couple years ago, I was helping a lady find books on autism, and she was talking about how stressed out she has been with her two autistic kids, and the next thing you know she starts crying. And I don't know how it happened, but all of a sudden I was hugging her, and she was crying on my shoulder. Now every time she comes in to the store, she's super nice to me.

Ooh, and once a second grade class came in to visit, and I rearranged all the tables and shelves into an elaborate obstacle course. Now every time a kid from that class comes into the store, they'll walk up to me with a big goofy grin, and say something like: REMEMBER MEEEEEEEE?

Just today, I did a dramatic reading of the first chapter of a novel for a blind customer, who was interested in buying an audiobook but wanted to know what it was like, first. After I finished, I got a smattering of applause from customers in earshot. :blush:

While I know what you mean, I think that as long as your company's not completely stuffy, you can find ways to be spontaneous.

ANYWAY, this is a great thread, because customer service is hard work. My dad acts like I don't have a real job because I don't do heavy manual labour, but I know if you made him deal with the public for a day, he would either quit or get fired by the end of his shift. He has no emotional stamina.

Edit: Sigh, I guess my anecdotes don't really refute your main point, BUT, I would argue that companies should try to encourage a bit of rule-bending to allow their grunts more room to interact in a spontaneous, authentic way. I find rigid, rule-bound friendliness a bit creepy. It's like a dead-eyed smile.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I don't think it has to be that way. I mean, there are certain limitations to working within this sort of framework of rules, but if you get creative, you can demonstrate a great deal of spontaneous warmth at such a job. I often say things to customers that are "unprofessional", but I have been getting away with it for years now because customers love genuine interactions.
All of your examples showcase the fun part of a job with public interaction. What happens when you need to be the mouthpiece of your store's rules and policies, telling someone they are not allowed to return an item, or negotiate a lower price, or have a similar request? Whatever your personal opinion of the merits of their argument, you may not have the authority to deviate from the policy, and must expend emotional energy trying to get the customer to acquiesce without causing a scene.
 
Top