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INFINITE FIELDS OF INSIDIOUS INDECISION INHIBIT MY CAREER SEARCH: Advice Needed!

Which of these jobs are good for a family-minded male 7w6 ENFP?


  • Total voters
    14

Chthonic

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Jun 18, 2014
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Aren't you under 20? Why so much focus on a career that lasts a lifetime and worrying about fatherhood that's probably not going to happen for a decade? It's highly unlikely you (or anyone) will be in any career much longer than 5-10yrs so it hardly matters at all what you start out doing. The days of lifetime careers are over, if only because corporations and employers just don't work that way anymore. Staff turnover happens whether we want it to or not, often at the hands of a takeover, restructuring etc. I'm in midlife and have already had three serious careers all in different industries. Not for lack of sticking it out on my part, but through circumstance and just the way the world works.

If you hate regulation and want creativity then I can't imagine why you would go into anything that lacks it. And here's a little secret in life....you will never be more free to choose than you are right now. The further down the path of adulthood you get, the more likely stuff like mortgages and children will inhibit your choices in life. Go for your dreams now unless you want to end up like most people and regret the things you didn't do when you had the chance.

I'm lucky, I've saved in my younger years and don't have a family so I am free to make those choices now, but that's not the situation most people find themselves in, in midlife. Since you are wanting a family I can't see you being able to just toss it all in at around 40 to suddenly start following your dreams. Your children will likely be early teens or younger at that stage and in need of stability.
 

skylights

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Rereading this and thinking.

This career search is becoming less about what I like and more about what I get, and in general, I dislike work as it gets in the way of the open, unscheduled, relaxed time I like. That said, it is a bit of a red herring, as I know that in order to have money to do things like eating new and interesting food and exploring, I need work.

To some extent, I wonder if some of the disillusionment you're feeling is just the "real world" blues. I know very few people - maybe none? - who have been able to jump right into what they really enjoyed and excelled at. Most of us start in sort of "meh" jobs and use them as ground to save and explore. They're typically labor intensive, micromanaged at some level, and somewhat uninspiring, just because that's how entry level work is. And plenty of us have been laid off or let go. My dad felt his calling to med school while sweeping floors at a grocery store. The family I just finished working for laughed knowingly when I nervously told them I had found a fulltime position because they're so used to their young healthcare workers moving on to more solidified commitments. It's just a process that most people go through, and I think it's largely responsible for the struggle of being a young adult. It's a big struggle to both find yourself and learn to support yourself. It's a lot to ask, getting your inner self and your outer world to comfortably gel. It seems like it's usually a bumpy process and takes a fairly long time for most people - maybe around a decade, give or take.

And I do think we all feel the same about work to a certain extent - as my dad says, they don't call it "work" because it's easy :D - who wouldn't rather be hanging out at the beach or relaxing in their mountain condo?

I think what's important is to take your experiences, however distasteful, and making something useful of them. If you can look back on your nursing experience, and say, this didn't work out for me, but I learned that I am very good at comforting and inspiring patients but that I am not great at remembering details or sticking to routines, then that's valuable information that can help you on your future path, and that's something employers are going to look for, that you are able to learn and integrate and grow. Equipped with that information, you can make a lateral shift. ceecee's right that there will be NFP-unpleasant rules and regulations at any job, though at some jobs it's easier to align with them and/or concentrate less on them. Maybe you've learned that you need to steer clear of jobs where detail will be a big focus - so that's probably away from many medical/healthcare positions. You tried nursing and pharm - they didn't work for you in the long term, even though they were good growing experiences and helped pay the bills for a little while. What did you like and dislike about them? What did you do well with and struggle with at them? What direction would you like to try next, given what you've learned about yourself?
 

Avocado

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Rereading this and thinking.



To some extent, I wonder if some of the disillusionment you're feeling is just the "real world" blues. I know very few people - maybe none? - who have been able to jump right into what they really enjoyed and excelled at. Most of us start in sort of "meh" jobs and use them as ground to save and explore. They're typically labor intensive, micromanaged at some level, and somewhat uninspiring, just because that's how entry level work is. And plenty of us have been laid off or let go. My dad felt his calling to med school while sweeping floors at a grocery store. The family I just finished working for laughed knowingly when I nervously told them I had found a fulltime position because they're so used to their young healthcare workers moving on to more solidified commitments. It's just a process that most people go through, and I think it's largely responsible for the struggle of being a young adult. It's a big struggle to both find yourself and learn to support yourself. It's a lot to ask, getting your inner self and your outer world to comfortably gel. It seems like it's usually a bumpy process and takes a fairly long time for most people - maybe around a decade, give or take.

And I do think we all feel the same about work to a certain extent - as my dad says, they don't call it "work" because it's easy :D - who wouldn't rather be hanging out at the beach or relaxing in their mountain condo?

I think what's important is to take your experiences, however distasteful, and making something useful of them. If you can look back on your nursing experience, and say, this didn't work out for me, but I learned that I am very good at comforting and inspiring patients but that I am not great at remembering details or sticking to routines, then that's valuable information that can help you on your future path, and that's something employers are going to look for, that you are able to learn and integrate and grow. Equipped with that information, you can make a lateral shift. ceecee's right that there will be NFP-unpleasant rules and regulations at any job, though at some jobs it's easier to align with them and/or concentrate less on them. Maybe you've learned that you need to steer clear of jobs where detail will be a big focus - so that's probably away from many medical/healthcare positions. You tried nursing and pharm - they didn't work for you in the long term, even though they were good growing experiences and helped pay the bills for a little while. What did you like and dislike about them? What did you do well with and struggle with at them? What direction would you like to try next, given what you've learned about yourself?

I learned that I enjoy working with people about 80% of the time, though I did feel the need to do work in the back by myself every now and then. Despite my constant mistakes, customers always asked for me because I am so personable, friendly, and outgoing. I learned that while I like the elderly, I am a bit soft-spoken for most of them and speaking at a higher volume feels unnatural for me. The more I learn about Social Work, the more I consider it a possibility. I make the occasional social mistake, but it is nothing like technical mistakes. My social issues often have to do with getting too personal, too fast. That makes some people uncomfortable sometimes, but I also think a lot of people like it.
[MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION].
 

skylights

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Hey, that's pretty cool! Social work. I don't know a ton about social work, but it does sound like it would play to a number of your strengths and avoid a number of your weaknesses. And you would most certainly be defender and advocate to those in need.
 

Avocado

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Hey, that's pretty cool! Social work. I don't know a ton about social work, but it does sound like it would play to a number of your strengths and avoid a number of your weaknesses. And you would most certainly be defender and advocate to those in need.

Social Field research sounds fun while I'm young and don.t have too many commitments.
 

Starry

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[MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION].

I'm scared to be here. I saw the word "advice" in the title...is this in the support section? I think you can only use positive adjectives in here and must sing them as you type... and I don't know how to do that. :wink:

Magic Qwan...I want you to know before someone decides this post is an attack that I'm so proud of you. This also marks the first time I've ever seen you actually considering something I've said in a more extended fashion and so I will say that...stepping away from the more technical career paths at this time is pure genius.

You need to give of your gifts...and for you there are many that don't involve counting.
Love you.
 

Avocado

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I'm scared to be here. I saw the word "advice" in the title...is this in the support section? I think you can only use positive adjectives in here and must sing them as you type... and I don't know how to do that. :wink:

Magic Qwan...I want you to know before someone decides this post is an attack that I'm so proud of you. This also marks the first time I've ever seen you actually considering something I've said in a more extended fashion and so I will say that...stepping away from the more technical career paths at this time is pure genius.

You need to give of your gifts...and for you there are many that don't involve counting.
Love you.

While I could improve my speaking skills a bit, I think I have enough warmth for social work.
 

Arctic Hysteria

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An ENFP type 7 and I wonder why you haven't expressed your desire to travel and see the world?
You can be teaching English in another country, while learning their language and culture, making new friends, seeing new things, eating new food, walking new paths, gaining new perspectives. After a few years, if you return to the States, your CV would be so much more desirable, and more doors will open for you, hence more options.

A college degree, a TESOL degree, and a one way plane ticket are all you need.
 

Starry

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While I could improve my speaking skills a bit, I think I have enough warmth for social work.

We all could stand to improve our speaking skills I imagine... But I think if elderly people were specifically requesting your service... at a pharmacy no less...your speaking skills must be fairly decent. This is what ceecee was referring to. Don't create a problem where none may exist.

One of the things I can never get a feel for from you is whether or not you are taking advantage of all the resources you have available through the school, disability, etc. Have you met with a career counselor yet?
 

five sounds

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Wing it man. You're young. Follow what speaks to you, change your mind, explore options. Stay with whatever resonates with your soul.
 
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Money is good for raising a family.

So, Engineering or Pharmacy. "Daddy we're hungry!" "Yeah sweetheart, I couldn't get a professor gig, but I'm sure this blog will be able to afford you a sandwich soon."

My buddy is a laid back Pharmacist that works 3 days a week, like you said. It's probably not his dream job, but there's job flexibility and he has TONS of free time to do whatever he wants. Plus he makes lots of money.

Architecture. You'll be 45 before you actually make any money. And that's if you're good. I was in a very good architecture school and people far better than me are 10 years in and learning how to make websites at their firm.

Teaching is fine, but unless you get a University gig, or teach abroad, you're not going to make much. Probably enough to support a family.


And being young is no excuse to lay back and just "try things." Now's the time to work your ass off on something that is realistic and will make you MONEY. Some philosophers believe that money is important for, you know, staying alive. Actually you can't do shit without it. Get your head out of the clouds if that's where it is and spend your youth NOT idealizing but buckling down.

Then, when you're 24 and have job stability and money, if you're not happy, you'll have the means to do something else. Or even find a more fulfilling position in your field.

Youth is not a time to fuck around, as many would have you believe.
 

Starry

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Youth is not a time to fuck around, as many would have you believe.

I fucked around in my youth and I'm an amazing human being haha (I couldn't even finish all of what I was going to say due to cracking up.)

I do understand your message here. And so based on this notion...what specific advice would you give a young person that doesn't know which career path to follow? That has no calling?
 
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I fucked around in my youth and I'm an amazing human being haha (I couldn't even finish all of what I was going to say due to cracking up.)

I do understand your message here. And so based on this notion...what specific advice would you give an young person that doesn't know which career path to follow? That has no calling?

Fuck around. A little bit. And this doesn't mean staying home to play video games getting high.

Go travel for a year. Teach english in Asia or something.

You'll never learn more about yourself.

OR, as MOST kids don't have a calling, you could just pick a degree such as Industrial Engineering (the easier of the engineerings), stick it out, graduate at 21/22, and THEN fuck around for a year. At least you'll have a MARKETABLE SKILL. As opposed to say, an English or Art History degree.
 

Starry

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Fuck around. A little bit. And this doesn't mean staying home to play video games getting high.

Go travel for a year. Teach english in Asia or something.

You'll never learn more about yourself.

OR, as MOST kids don't have a calling, you could just pick a degree such as Industrial Engineering (the easier of the engineerings), stick it out, graduate at 21/22, and THEN fuck around for a year. At least you'll have a MARKETABLE SKILL. As opposed to say, an English or Art History degree.

What if you got high...but weren't playing video games at home is that still considered fucking around?
 

Avocado

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An ENFP type 7 and I wonder why you haven't expressed your desire to travel and see the world?
You can be teaching English in another country, while learning their language and culture, making new friends, seeing new things, eating new food, walking new paths, gaining new perspectives. After a few years, if you return to the States, your CV would be so much more desirable, and more doors will open for you, hence more options.

A college degree, a TESOL degree, and a one way plane ticket are all you need.

I have thought of that, and I think I mentioned it before. I do not know what TESOL is, but I would like one!
 

Avocado

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Also...what happened to writing? Why has writing been taken off the 'career table?'

I still do it, nobody buys, though. I make a little, but I make more on disability, honestly.
 

Starry

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We all could stand to improve our speaking skills I imagine... But I think if elderly people were specifically requesting your service... at a pharmacy no less...your speaking skills must be fairly decent. This is what ceecee was referring to. Don't create a problem where none may exist.

One of the things I can never get a feel for from you is whether or not you are taking advantage of all the resources you have available through the school, disability, etc. Have you met with a career counselor yet?


^
 

prplchknz

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step 1. dig a hole
step 2. get in hole
step 3. complain how you got in the hole and can't get out
step 4. someone suggests you use the ladder right over there or they throw you a ladder
step 5. make an excuse as to why you can't use the ladder
repeat steps 3-5* til you eventually starve to death.

*ladder will be a different object each loop
 
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