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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scissorhands View Post
    I'm a student, a high school student to be exact. I'm generally an A-B student, which isn't horrible, but it is still far from ideal. I have an IQ of 147, and I understand everything I'm being taught… when I listen to it. Actually bringing myself to listen to it is the issue. If I'm very interested in the topic of a class I will get a perfect grade. I've observed that my grades are directly proportionate to my level of interest, and I'm just not particularly interesting in much of what I'm intended to learn. It's not as if I haven't made attempts to motivate myself in areas that don't attract my interest, because I have. I really have. I was wondering if anyone had suggestions as to how I could resolve this issue.
    There are lots of able and intelligent people who understand things.

    There are few who can implement those things they understand, for 12 hours a day, with 4 hours sleep most nights, no holidays, no weekends, and often, initially at least, with no garuante of success and little recognition, for years.

    But the ability to do those things, coupled with a natural intelligence (regardless of some IQ score), is what differentiates a truly successful person.

    At least based on the ones I know.

    IMO the only way to be able to do that, is to truly have vision you are 100% sure of, to raise "mind above matter" and do the physically/mentally impossible.

    A certain role model of mine once told me a great phrase: "I'll give you 5 cents for a great idea, $1 million for a great implementation".

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scissorhands View Post
    I'm sorry if I sounded really arrogant or something, really. I wasn't trying to.
    I believe you.

    If anything you've said reasonably came off as self-aggrandizing, it is in the details you include that are complimentary but not relevant to the solution you seek in the long term. The relevance of your IQ and your interest level is a privilege reserved for people who don't yet support themselves. When your food and shelter depend on your competence at a job, not paying attention when you don't feel like it = self-destruction. Socializing becomes similarly vital. There isn't a lot of sympathy for people who shoot themselves in the foot. In short, most people here are older than you. Everybody is fine; you just ran into some culture shock.

    But that's your answer! Motivation is found in high stakes. You may not have rent to pay yet, but do you have something else to lose if you don't develop your work ethic? A dream? A shot at a creative job or the ability to support a family?

    For the record, I wasn't bothered at all by your posts. I remember what that's like. If I could give one piece of advice to my high school self, it would be that no matter our IQ or offbeat interests, we are born ordinary. Ordinary like multiplication facts. Ordinary like the dates in history. Like having to study and like being mentally present in the classroom you're sitting in. And that's good! In fact, when you bravely face normalcy, you'll be surprised to find the motivation you're seeking to go beyond.

    Good luck with school.
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  3. #23
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scissorhands View Post
    If I'm very interested in the topic of a class I will get a perfect grade. I've observed that my grades are directly proportionate to my level of interest, and I'm just not particularly interesting in much of what I'm intended to learn
    This board is dangerous to talk to about these issues. The majority here are above average in intelligence and it creates a bit of groupthink around why we behave the way you do.

    Having said that... You are describing a personal flaw that can be explained but not excused. Namely, you are getting exactly what you deserve - you put effort into something and you get rewarded. The flaw is that you are only doing what you want to do and ignoring the rest under the excuse of it not interesting you. Success is ultimately determined by your effort level.

    This is a common problem for people who have been "rewarded" for being intelligent. The high level explanation is that if you have success (and are told/realize it is) because of aptitude/intelligence instead of effort, you have a "need" to defend your aptitude/intelligence and begin to dislike things that you aren't naturally good at.

    Note that the appearance of "naturally good at" actually has very little to do with true aptitude and more to do with the initial resistance to doing so. For example, if you happened to be good at math early, then you'll continue to be "good" at math; however the identical you that is resistant to math initially (because division was hard in grade school or something) has the exact same natural aptitude but will have developed disdain and always lag behind.

    The lesson to take is that it is very likely you are defining your own interests as a way to avoid things that may challenge you at a very core level.


    Quote Originally Posted by Scissorhands View Post
    I don't consider myself above socializing. On the contrary, I've tried, I'm just an incredible failure at it.
    Socializing is a skill. Everything I said above can be applied to it.

    (All of this under the disclaimer of relatively "normal" - no real cripping social anxiety that triggers shut-downs, etc.)

    I can relate to a lot of this. I have a quote that I repeat (as part of cognitive behavioral therapy to get over fear of failure) - {Ever tried. Ever failed.} No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. (Samuel Beckett)

    Quote Originally Posted by Scheherezade View Post
    you`re an INTx , you`ll be ok, trust me, it just takes some time and some quality people
    People are people and if you can't relate to other people unless they are some narrow definition of "quality people", it's you who has the issue.

  4. #24
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    That's a good insight. Sometimes people define their interests positively, based on what fascinates them; but a problem is defining your interests negatively, as the things that don't bore you. The latter puts you out of touch with what you do want. When you don't know what you care about, how can you imagine a goal that's resonant enough to motivate you?
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  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    Having said that... You are describing a personal flaw that can be explained but not excused. Namely, you are getting exactly what you deserve - you put effort into something and you get rewarded. The flaw is that you are only doing what you want to do and ignoring the rest under the excuse of it not interesting you. Success is ultimately determined by your effort level.

    This is a common problem for people who have been "rewarded" for being intelligent. The high level explanation is that if you have success (and are told/realize it is) because of aptitude/intelligence instead of effort, you have a "need" to defend your aptitude/intelligence and begin to dislike things that you aren't naturally good at.

    Note that the appearance of "naturally good at" actually has very little to do with true aptitude and more to do with the initial resistance to doing so. For example, if you happened to be good at math early, then you'll continue to be "good" at math; however the identical you that is resistant to math initially (because division was hard in grade school or something) has the exact same natural aptitude but will have developed disdain and always lag behind.
    Thanks, that's really helpful.

    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    Socializing is a skill. Everything I said above can be applied to it.
    I've tried, time after time to be social. Really, genuinely tried. That being said, I hardly talk around people at all, to be honest, other than in class when I have to answer a question or something of the sort, and it's essentially because every time I'm about to say something to someone I keep myself from saying it because it'll either be stupid, wrong, or not important. It feels almost like a reflex, I guess. That's why I really haven't had friends or been social, if that sort of makes sense.
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  6. #26
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    Raise your stakes. Would you make small talk for $100? Actually, what hinges on honing your social skills when you're young couldn't be bigger.

    Ask someone you know who benefits every day from their long-held close relationships, like a parent, an aunt or an older friend about all the times they were wrong or about the dumbest things they've ever said and how it made them who they are today. I turned my shit around when I realized how much learning to love is worth.

    Okay, shutting mouth now for a while!
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  7. #27
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scissorhands View Post
    I've tried, time after time to be social. Really, genuinely tried. That being said, I hardly talk around people at all, to be honest, other than in class when I have to answer a question or something of the sort, and it's essentially because every time I'm about to say something to someone I keep myself from saying it because it'll either be stupid, wrong, or not important. It feels almost like a reflex, I guess. That's why I really haven't had friends or been social, if that sort of makes sense.
    It is a reflex of sorts - it's trained fear... well, it's more complicated and probably nuanced in each of our cases, but essentially you are repeatably reinforcing your fear of social rejection. I'd suspect that you are preemptively expecting to fail, anticipating failure during and then locking up (and hence validating your sense of failure). That kind of social fear (/social anxiety) creates itself. I'm not sure how you cope with it, but you'll hear a lot of defense mechanisms here if you search for various socializing issues. Anything from "other people don't matter/are inferior" (which showed up in this thread), to "I don't need others", to "I'm just an introvert"... lots of them. Highschool sucks for socializing and it's even worse for retraining the fear thing... it's a pressure cooker of stratification and social survival.

    My main suggestion is to try to find a group outside of school that shares your interests, or develop an interest of a group around your area. I hung out with an arcade + computer enthusiast groups, forced an interest in model rocketry which I ended up really liking...

  8. #28
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    "Able but unmotivated" basically describes my life haha!

    What hasn't worked for me but might for you when studying up on a new (boring) topic is thinking about your academic pursuits in the future. I had to learn the hard way and got rejected from Villanova and NYU and wait-listed at Marist...LOL. I'm already in my first choice but if I didn't find that school I would've been screwed over and would have ended up going to one of my safety schools, unhappy and disappointed (at first, at least, since I would probably get over it and make the best of what I have). I tend to actually do well on tests/quizzes due to listening in class, but this year my senioritis has crippled my ability to due homework which in previous years has been my saving grace. So make sure to do the tedious work to give your grades a little handicap. It's not fun but it's easy most of the time at least. Also a little positive thinking about each topic makes everything seem more interesting. Just go into things with an upbeat attitude and you might find yourself thinking "oh, this is actually interesting!" just because you're looking for the topic's good points and not the boring ones.

    Also like others have said, I recommend having some balance in your life between the academic/social ends of the spectrum. Friends can be a great motivator when it comes to doing well in school.

    Quote Originally Posted by Scissorhands View Post
    I've tried, time after time to be social. Really, genuinely tried. That being said, I hardly talk around people at all, to be honest, other than in class when I have to answer a question or something of the sort, and it's essentially because every time I'm about to say something to someone I keep myself from saying it because it'll either be stupid, wrong, or not important. It feels almost like a reflex, I guess. That's why I really haven't had friends or been social, if that sort of makes sense.
    Aww baby. Don't worry about it! Looking at your posts in this thread you seem like a fine person and I would not mind chatting you up IRL. Just YOLO go for it! If someone actually ends up thinking that what you said is stupid/wrong/unimportant then they're not worth taking the time getting to know. But I'm sure what you have to say may be very interesting to other people. Just tell yourself that when speaking to others!

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