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  1. #21
    Member braziljoe's Avatar
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    I won't quit my job, this would be the THIRD time I would do that because of harassment in the last 2 years! I also won't find a job that pays that well soon.
    I also don't find the HR idea very plausible, as HR here in Brazil is not your friend, and most HRs are weak and looked down by the senior managers here (I've heard similar stories about HR in the US) and I can see the HR's crabby estj female manager (yes, estj HR manager! can you imagine that?) sided with the bully and seeing me as the victim deserving of punishment.
    Yesterday I didn't go there to buy food, but the guy keeps staring me.
    I think I'm going to take some antidepressants before going to work.
    Nerd on a dancefloor.

  2. #22
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    If I was in your position I would take care of the problem myself, but that seems like its not much of an option for you.

    Don't get mad.

    Get even.

  3. #23
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    wow, what was that last sentence? don't do that, this situation is not your fault, you shouldn't have to self-punish yourself (by taking drugs). please dont play the victim, stand firm by your principles.
    I repeat, your personal life is distinct from your work life. you should not have to justify yourself or any part of your personality at work. the only thing relevant during work times is that you're good at your work. this is why i tell you to be as unpersonal as possible with this person.
    secondly, stay on guard, keep yourself as informed as possible on your rights at work and be prepared to act the next time you are disrespected. if you cant go to HR, talk to your manager. find the legislation. arethere any laws against homophobic behaviour at work in brazil? Dilma is a cool human being, she must have passed some laws, or?
    many hugs, i am very sympathetic to your situation, being queer myself.
    um beijinho, amigo força ai!

    Quote Originally Posted by braziljoe View Post
    I think I'm going to take some antidepressants before going to work.

  4. #24
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    No estado de São Paulo, a lei estadual 10.948/2001 estabelece multas e outras penas para a discriminação contra homossexuais, bissexuais e transgêneros. São puníveis pessoas, organizações e empresas, privadas ou públicas (art. 3º). A lei proíbe, em razão da orientação sexual (art. 2º): violências, constrangimentos e intimidações, sejam morais, éticas, filosóficas ou psicológicas; a vedação de ingresso a locais públicos ou privados abertos ao público; selecionar o atendimento; impedir ou sobretaxar a hospedagem em hotéis ou motéis, assim como a compra, venda ou locação de imóveis; demitir do emprego ou inibir a admissão. A lei também pune quem "proibir a livre expressão e manifestação de afetividade", se estas forem permitidas aos demais cidadãos. As penalidades são as seguintes (art. 6º): advertência; multa de 1000 a 3000 Ufesp (unidade fiscal), ou até 10 vezes mais para grandes estabelecimentos; suspensão ou cassação da licença estadual de funcionamento; além de punições administrativas (art. 7º) para as discriminações praticadas por servidores públicos estaduais no exercício de suas funções[64][65].
    (wikipedia)

    And there is also something called PLC122 Link but I dont understand if it has been approved or not.
    But then you should also have internal rules at your office, so check those.

  5. #25
    Member braziljoe's Avatar
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    @Elfboy

    Should we change to be accepted? Every job I've had there were fat, ugly, old, dumb, weird people, and they all were left alone. The only people I've really seen harassed were homosexuals and black people. And when I say harassed, I mean big things such as being fired, disciplined more harshly than others, etc.
    In my country there's a project of law that is awaiting for ten years to be voted in the national congress that protects gay people from harassment (and which includes even arrest to up 4 years to those who discriminates gay people at work).
    Recently, there have been various random attacks to gay people (in the streets, by neo-nazi, white-power groups) and those attacks gained media attention, especially in the last year. Somehow, I have the feeling that people are introjecting those news and are feeling entitled to rebel against the now common sense that aggression toward gay people is nonsense. Just like when racism became so taboo, and a crime, and people used to even spit on black people in the streets just to prove themselves that they weren't afraid of being punished for that.
    Nerd on a dancefloor.

  6. #26
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by braziljoe View Post
    @Elfboy

    Should we change to be accepted? Every job I've had there were fat, ugly, old, dumb, weird people, and they all were left alone. The only people I've really seen harassed were homosexuals and black people. And when I say harassed, I mean big things such as being fired, disciplined more harshly than others, etc.
    In my country there's a project of law that is awaiting for ten years to be voted in the national congress that protects gay people from harassment (and which includes even arrest to up 4 years to those who discriminates gay people at work).
    Recently, there have been various random attacks to gay people (in the streets, by neo-nazi, white-power groups) and those attacks gained media attention, especially in the last year. Somehow, I have the feeling that people are introjecting those news and are feeling entitled to rebel against the now common sense that aggression toward gay people is nonsense. Just like when racism became so taboo, and a crime, and people used to even spit on black people in the streets just to prove themselves that they weren't afraid of being punished for that.
    honestly my 2 cents that mean nothing because i;m only one person. People shouldn't have to change if they're life style doesn't harm anyone else. and I don't see how being attracted to the same sex or having sex with men because you're a man is harmful to me. I really don't, I never understood homophobes. Because at the end of the day what you do is your business as long as its with a consenting adult.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #27
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by braziljoe View Post
    @Elfboy

    Should we change to be accepted? Every job I've had there were fat, ugly, old, dumb, weird people, and they all were left alone. The only people I've really seen harassed were homosexuals and black people. And when I say harassed, I mean big things such as being fired, disciplined more harshly than others, etc.
    In my country there's a project of law that is awaiting for ten years to be voted in the national congress that protects gay people from harassment (and which includes even arrest to up 4 years to those who discriminates gay people at work).
    Recently, there have been various random attacks to gay people (in the streets, by neo-nazi, white-power groups) and those attacks gained media attention, especially in the last year. Somehow, I have the feeling that people are introjecting those news and are feeling entitled to rebel against the now common sense that aggression toward gay people is nonsense. Just like when racism became so taboo, and a crime, and people used to even spit on black people in the streets just to prove themselves that they weren't afraid of being punished for that.
    I'm not saying change to be accepted, I'm saying that, sometimes, flying under the radar aid's in one's safety. I admire your courage, but that courage has obviously caused you a world of problems that I myself have never had to experience being in the closet. good luck whatever happens to you, but know that there is an easier option. hang in there
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  8. #28
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by braziljoe View Post
    Oh, great, I really could see myself punching an entj!
    I almost got into a fist fight with an ENTJ one time. That was fun.

  9. #29
    Member braziljoe's Avatar
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    TheGreatOne

    Almost? What stopped you from punching him/her? Fear?
    Nerd on a dancefloor.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    A delicate situation.

    Could you convince the manager that witnessed the first confrontation to sit down with you and the asshole and have a little chat while making it seem as though it had been the manager's idea to do so? That chat, if it can be had, should be held in the most polite of terms and without the use of threats. It should be a nice talk about how you feel and why you would like him to stop. You can ask if you can do something to resolve the apparent tension between the two of you. After that, whatever action he takes against you must be considered a result of unreasonable hate. The manager, having been witness to the quasi-contract of kindness that you indirectly entered into during the conversation, would then feel pressed to act on his own. The asshole, if fired as a consequence, has only himself to blame. If not himself, he is likely to blame the manager before you.

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