Horrible College Experiences

[Mempy]

Right. So I slept through an exam today because my alarm didn’t go off. Tell me about your horrible college (and high school) experiences to make me feel better. Minor annoyances need not apply*. I'm talking the BIG, soul-crushing shit, the kind that gives you an anxiety attack and makes you pick up the booze.

*No, please, tell me about those too. My misery needs all the company it can get.

 

[disregard]

To be honest, after 2 1/2 years, I still haven't had a horrible moment.

I did fail algebra II once, but what's so painful about not doing anything?

Well, actually I once did an end of quarter "presentation" for World Civ I hadn't prepared for, talked for about about 30 seconds, decided I was over it, sat down and managed to pass the class.

Connecting with teachers has its merits.

 

[Atomic Fiend]

I took the tail light clean off of a BMW once by accident, My ESTP buddy told me to drive away immediately, so I did.

That hit and run may not have been the right thing to do, but the next week he had a new tailight that looked perfectly fine, If he found out it was me, well I would've never been able to afford to buy a new BMW tail light.

 

[Randomnity]

Wow, that blows. I bet this'll make you feel better: a month ago, I missed a midterm because, get this, I thought my class was at a different time. And it was the class taught by the prof I'm doing my honours project with. Yeah....I'm still cringing....

 

[heart]

The worst thing was because I did not as Dana suggests "connect" with the professor. Two months before my mother died, she was very sick in the hospital and I was studying for a test and I just couldn't absorb any of the stuff that night for some reason. I went in the next day, took the test and made a solid F, I got a D for the class...the only one I made in college. I never explained my situation to the professor.

I tried to go back to school a month after she died that summer and the same thing started happeing and it was a great class too, Tudor History. I denied I was going to need to drop until past the cut off date. I got up one morning to drive to college and take the test and I just remember anything so I didn't go. The professor called me and said she was worried because it wasn't like me to miss a test and I told her all and she said, you drop out now and don't come back for the second summer term either, she let me withdraw passing and left the slip on her door for me. Communication can go a long way.

I tried later to get permission to retake the one class and get the D off my record but I was by then at another school as I had moved when I married and they said I would have to live with the D

 

[Totenkindly]

Hmmm.... Well, in college is where:

- I failed my first (and last) class ever... Advanced Statistics II ... and it was the class I have worked the hardest in my entire life to pass. And thought I had... and it was in my major.

- I was drunk and pretended to be a Hostess Twinkie on purpose at a party... and everyone called me "Twinkie" forever after and wouldn't believe me when I told them I was just doing it to be funny.

- The first time I ever threw up from drinking too much. (White Russians + too drunk to count = BAD)

- Felt ostracized by religious organization (yes, long pattern here) because I didn't openly support their restrictive doctrines.

- A friend tried to kill himself by stabbing himself in the chest with a knife a few times. He lived, though; security found him in time.

- The only person I've met who I honestly thought to be possessed by the devil lived down the hall from me. I don't know what has happened to him since. I felt bad because I tried to befriend him but he was so angry at the world, he wouldn't let anyone in.

- Oh Jah.. being WAY in debt when I gradulated.

 

[Mempy]

Wow, that blows. I bet this'll make you feel better: a month ago, I missed a midterm because, get this, I thought my class was at a different time. And it was the class taught by the prof I'm doing my honours project with. Yeah....I'm still cringing....

Awwww! NO! Oh man, that just sucks. But God does that does make me feel less alone! I feel for you. GOD.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

My last semester of my senior year, I was carrying 15 credits and needed to get four As and one C to graduate cum laude, which I really wanted. Spanish was my hardest class (I had already dropped it once, which was why I was carrying 15 credits my last semester) so I figured that would be the one class I could afford to not get an A in.

We had our giant end of year dorm party on a Thursday night because exams were over on Monday and a lot of people would be gone after Friday. We brought couches on the lawn outside, turned a stereo to face out someone's first floor window, and had a blast. It was probably the most fun party in my 4 years of college, and it was the last chance I had to see a lot of people. I also got really, really drunk and I had my piano final Friday morning. The final was a recital of all the songs we'd learned that semester. I was still a little drunk, I couldn't concentrate, and my fingers were shaky. I completely blew it, and my guaranteed A in the class turned into a C, which meant I would have to get a high A in my Spanish final to graduate cum laude.

I studied all weekend for the Spanish exam, foregoing some more excellent year-end parties. I must have done better than I thought, because I got an A and managed to graduate cum laude with the exact minimum GPA required. It turned out okay, but the feeling I had after I blew my piano final is one that I don't care to experience again.

 

[Mempy]

I'm so glad I made this board.

Jennifer, your post had me at points torn between laughter and gut-wrenching sympathy. Actually, Randomnity's did too. Haha, thank you both for sharing that.

Heart, your post mostly just made me feel sadness and sympathy. I completely understand what you mean when you talk about feeling disconnected from the professor. I often feel alone and on my own in college, especially now that ALL four of my classes are filled with several hundred people each. In past semesters, I mostly had smaller classes and it was MUCH easier to communicate with and establish a rapport, or at least a pathway of mutual acknowledgment, with the professor, but now I feel like I'm so on my own in all four of my classes. I did send a letter to my professor before making this thread which went something like this:

Hello Professor S,

My name is Jo. I missed the test today because my alarm did not go off. I am quite chagrined about this because before going to bed I actually considered setting a second alarm to make sure I would wake up, but I thought my original alarm would be reliable; it turns out that this was a pretty large mistake on my part.

Anyhow, the reason I am so chagrined is mainly because I do not get a sense of the kind of questions you ask on tests, and I do not have direct proof that I know the material well. That is the purpose of a test – to TEST one’s knowledge. I have a leg-down in your class now, and I am annoyed and nervous about that.

So all of this culminates into a few questions and possibilities running through my mind: Can I possibly stop by your office one day (by scheduled appointment, since I have lectures that keep me from visiting you during normal office hours) to restore some of my advantage in your class? I do not know if you are willing, but I would VERY much appreciate the unlikely possibility that you would allow me to take the test during your office hours, NOT for credit because I KNOW there are no chances for make-ups, but simply to get an idea of the way your tests look and to see if I did indeed prepare adequately for the first test. Again, I do not want ANY credit and know I will not receive any. The reason I would REALLY like to do this is so I know how to prepare for future tests, since these tests absolutely will count toward my grade; I do not have the cushion of being able to drop any of the future tests should I do poorly on them, so I would like to get a sense of what they will be like and how well I should prepare for them. Again, I would not ask you to give me credit, but I would ask you to briefly look over my answers to give me a ballpark estimate of how well I did. I studied pretty hard for the first test and simply want to know if my efforts fell short or not.

If you are not willing or this is simply out of the question, I will accept that, but I want you to know how passionate I am about at least getting a B in your class, and I also want you to know how worried I am about the state of my grade at present. I want to be absolutely prepared for future tests, so I would deeply appreciate this excellent opportunity to prepare. Basically this is a confidence exercise: if I look at the first test and know most of the answers, I will have much less anxiety about future tests. Do you understand?

Thank you,
Joelle

But Heart, I'm so sorry to learn about your mother and the difficult time you had at school during that process. Congratulations on the seemingly good grades, though! I admire the strength it takes to try more than the actual success anyway.

 

[Ivy]

While this happened at school, I'm not sure it's technically a "college experience." But it's a pretty good story so I'll dish anyway.

Fall 1996, my senior year at Carolina. The parking permit I had only worked in a small lot outside my dorm and a strip of parallel spaces across the street. I drove an 80s-model Chevy Caprice wagon as shown below, but without the special effects:

Needless to say it was hard to parallel park. But on the evening of September 5th, there were no spaces in the small lot so I had to try. The alternative was to park in another lot and wake up early to move it to my lot, but unless I went out at 6am or before there was no assurance I'd find a spot then, either.

Against all odds, somehow I managed to wedge the hoopdy into the parallel space without wrecking anyone else's car. (I did scrape mine a little bit on the rock wall next to the road, but I wasn't too worried about that.) I went inside my dorm to do homework.

There had been a hurricane off the coast the week before that never made landfall, but the rain associated with it had saturated the ground. That night, another hurricane was projected to hit our coast but it was not as strong as the one that had just missed us so I didn't think too much about it. As it happened, it passed right over us, but we never lost power and there were fratboys out in the quad playing football in the midst of it, so I figured it couldn't be that bad. I enjoyed the storm and went to sleep, assuming there would be class the next day as usual.

When I woke up, people were walking around outside, but nobody was carrying a backpack or looked like they were headed anywhere in particular. They were looking at the debris. I stuck my head out the window and asked if class had been canceled, and it had. I decided to go out and check things out myself. Trees were down everywhere, and all the traffic lights were out- evidently we had a generator or something, because power was out everywhere else besides campus.

Eventually my walk took me around the side of the dorm where the parking lot was. I noticed that a tree had fallen across the street where the parallel spaces were. Only one car was smashed beyond recognition. I was glad it wasn't mine. But as I got nearer, I realized I couldn't actually find mine- I didn't remember exactly which space it was in, but I assumed I'd be able to recognize it. Well, when I walked around the back of the smashed car, it turned out to be less damaged than the front. I saw some of my crap in the back, and my Police Benevolent sticker. The smashed car was my car- a huge ancient old oak tree had just tipped right over on it.

FEMA was giving out grants, which I could have gotten, except the car was still in my dad's name. D'oh! So he had to get a low-interest loan instead of a grant, and I paid him monthly for a "new" (old) car. My smashed station wagon made the front page of the newspaper, at least.

 

[disregard]

What a bust!

 

[Veneti]

I found out that the University had primed its honors students so they would do well in the finals exams. I whistle blew on that, got a written apology and duly put it on all the notice boards. Honors students cheat by studying too much anyway with that additional advantage.

All sorts of horrible experiences with vomit. I can drink wine now without the reflux action kicking in... quite funny how your body/mind can prempt sickness/illness by the smell (of wine).

 

[heart]

I'll give a funny horrible college experience. I took "History of Rock n' Roll" because I thought it would be an easy A and that professor was so tough and nit picky about the test questions that I ended up getting a hard won B. I spent hours studying for that damned class. It was all sensing type factoid questions, not theory.

 

[WobblyStilettos]

Last year someone came into my history class late (they had been at the dentist or something) and said that two sisters had been murdered. I found out later that day that one of them was a girl from my school I just felt my stomach sink... people were crying everywhere

-Tries to think of a funny one- Ok, this one didn't happen to me but earlier today I was waiting outside my english classroom and one of my friends said she had really bad period pains so she lent against a radiator in what looked like a very comprising position (I hope I don't really have to describe it)... then her teacher came round the corner both of their faces were priceless!!!

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Great story, Ivy! A tree once fell on my car too. I was on a Boy Scout camping trip and had driven my car up to the campsite to unload some equipment. One of the younger boys was chopping down a tree so we could start a fire. If you're good, you can chop down a tree in such a way that you determine the direction in which it falls. This boy was not good. A big fat tree fell right on the roof of my 1978 Nova. We all watched it happen, powerless to do anything...that was probably the longest five seconds of my life. As it turns out, 10 of us managed to lift the tree off the car and swing it around to drop on the ground. There were a few scratches and a minor dent on the roof, but the car was totally fine. I do wonder if the windows would have blown out had they not been rolled down.

If that's not an ad for the solid construction of old American cars, I don't know what is

(sorry for the derail, Memptress!)

 

[Noel]

So there I was in a Geography examination, unprepared of course. The one thing I was prepared for was dealing with how I was going to have to deal with poop in my pants. I didn't want to leave while taking the test because the professor may suspect that I would cheat somehow? I finished fifteen minutes before the time was up and probably heard enough bowel movements for a year. I finally mustered up the willpower to turn in the examination and bolt for the washroom. Well, given the fact that I was unfamiliar with the toiletry facilities in the examination building, I bolted towards familiar territory: The Student Union. I made it without a moment to spare and I couldn't deliver. I could not just take a poop.

Shrugging, I then proceeded to walk home to the dormitories. As I was walking home, about 70m away, I had to go. I sprinted home and reached the identification keylock to my building. Fumbling massively and desperate for hope, I managed to swipe my card and open the door. I ran up to the fourth floor and nearly felt as if I were about to lose it. I fumbled once again trying to grab my keys and miraculously entered. The home stretch. I did it. My INTP suite mate is in the bathroom taking his sweet ass time showering / shaving. I knock and say, "I have to go to the bathroom". At that moment, I lost. I took my left hand around my bum to contain it the best I could. Minutes seemed like hours and finally am greeted with a half conscious INTP informing me that the bathroom is free. I'm glad he didn't smell anything. I went to the toilet to dispose of my entrails and furiously threw my clothes into the shower. I hand washed them as well as myself. I dried off and sat in my chair comprehending what just occurred. "I'm an adult (18 at the time) and just shit my pants".

 

[heart]

As far as gross bodily experiences: In my last year of college, at the end of the fall term, I caught a really bad flu, I laid up the night before on the couch watching my fever rise to 104 F at one point around 4 AM (highest fever since I was a kid!). There was no sleeping with sore throat and coughing. I believed them when they used to say "if you aren't in the hospital, there won't be a make up test" , so next morning I went in to take my final. What a chump! I bet if I had called the professor she would have let me make it up, but back then I hated to ask people for things. I just did.

I took a box of tissues in with me and sat in the back of the room, constantly hacking up copious amounts of phlegm and shivering, everyone else came in and took a horrified look at me and sat in the front. By the end of the test, I had emptied the tissue box and desperate for more. It was so embarassing to be so grossly sick in front of everyone, one hand furiously filling the blue book and one hand with tissues.

 

[Mempy]

Sweet holy God. SWEET. HOLY. GOD! Ok, before I even get into the new responses in this thread (which look pretty entertaining), let me say this: my professor wrote back.

I know all about the 2-alarm business. I have a regular clock-radio
AND my digital wristwatch set to get me up. The clock-radio was
attached to an outlet with a circuit breaker that pops for no good
reason, cutting power to it, so I had to re-attach it to another
extension cord.

No worries, mate!

I go out of my way not to advertise it, or else I get inundated with
requests, but I will occasionally give makeups. How about after class
on Monday?

MS

Oh my sweet holy god. Can you EVEN BELIEVE IT??? Oh my god! I'm freaking getting another chance! I'm so freaking happy! Oh wow. CELEBRATION!

 

[Randomnity]

That's awesome, Mempy. I didn't mention it, but my prof also let me write my test immediately after class (since I thought class was the following period), which was super nice of him. It's always nice when a prof gives you a break.

 

[htb]

I'm so freaking happy! Oh wow. CELEBRATION!

Commensurate change of thread topic.

Freshman year, during one particular Night of No Work, two friends and I leaned over a walkway and dropped armfuls of styrofoam chips on some kids who were actually studying. Whee!