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Thread: Could family be the source of all career problems?

  1. #1
    Babylon Candle Array Venom's Avatar
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    Feb 2008
    1w9 sp/sx

    Default Could family be the source of all career problems?

    I've been making a simple observation about work and family lately:

    1. A lot of so called "starving artist/nonartalso" jobs are actually quite "livable" if you only ever plan to support just yourself (plus some frugal living ie be a renter forever, no fancy trips, cars, retirement, etc). Maybe not from day one, but at least 30 to 50k within some experience and skills built up.

    2. A lot of "family people" convince themselves that a) they are happy at work or b) even if they aren't, they are making a difference to the people they are supporting... So those 2 hours a day they get to spend with the fam somehow makes it worth it.

    This is the norm, But what if all were doing is sacrificing our chance at happiness for the sake of the next generation, only to have them simply turn around and keep this chain of sacrifice going? When does the line finally get to cash it in??? Sure theres the idea of inheritance being built up or something, but it will only get taxed and split by ever more descendants etc.

    So onto my final point:
    3. Maybe there was a time when actual 9 to 5 existed and people could buy houses for 3 times a salary, and they actually had time to really pull off the "I work to support my other hobbies etc". I'm convinced that time doesn't exist anymore. Today people shun jobs they know they'd like, with less stress and more fulfillment, basically because of family or the hope/expectation of a family.

    Question: is it right to do this to ourselves? Is it fair? Is it wise? Id love to hear some thoughts!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Array swordpath's Avatar
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    Oct 2007


    I think this is definitely an issue, which I've noticed myself. Especially recently. I've been dating a girl from China, who is studying towards a Business/Information Systems degree. She hates what she's studying, but it's basically what her family has advised for her. It seems to me that she's being pressured into continuing the cycle handed down by her parents of finding a job that pays, and that will enable her to extend the same benefit of sowing into an education for her future children. That's the expectation anyways. She's told me herself that she sees it the same way I do, but she doesn't feel inclined to do things any differently. I think it's a large part of her culture, at least within the socio-economic class that she falls under. I think this is also a curse that many of the mid-upper class Americans face as well. I've vowed to not be that person. I'm no artist per se, but I am pursuing a career that I feel will bring me fulfillment to some extent. Having a six figure salary hardly appeals to me.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array You's Avatar
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    Jun 2010


    what about genealogist?
    Oh, its

  4. #4
    Mr. Blue Array entropie's Avatar
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    Apr 2008
    3w2 so


    Yea its true family is a show stopper. It costs you a lot of time and money, working insane hours aint a thing you really can do or want then.

    I still go for family, cause my problem is, I fear without a family I'll come home from work one day and hang myself, because I cant stand the loneliness no more.
    Johari / Nohari

    "How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect."
    ~ Oscar Wilde - The picture of Dorian Gray

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array FunnyDigestion's Avatar
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    Mar 2011


    I think there's a lot of truth to that idea. If the average middle class kid said, "Hey pops, hey moms, I'm gonna volunteer for a life of poverty in order to be of purer service to humankind," he / she'd practically get disowned. But effectively it's necessary to volunteer for poverty in order to pursue & be successful at what you really love. Nearly everyone in history did it.
    "Man is free, but his freedom ceases when he has no faith in it."

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