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  1. #31
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tawanda View Post
    For whatever reason, I find this to be particularly hard to do.

    I feel like I'm not doing anything wrong, but I'm not getting any positive results from what I have been doing. If I apply somewhere, I'll pester them infrequently, as I'm not really sure how much pestering is too much, and if they haven't been hiring for a while, then I'll move on. If somewhere is hiring, however, I'll apply, pester them until I get an interview (rarely does this happen) and then call and say 'Thanks for the interview, just checking to see where you are on hiring etc.'

    Yet, nothing.

    Are there any techniques you have used just to get a basic job? Do you know what works, and what doesn't?
    Forget the bureaucrats. They do not need you.
    Do you have a market place near by? Talk to the vendors. They always need help.
    Their clients pay cash. It is what you need.
    Never say you are satisfied with a minimum pay. If you do, they disrespect you.

    When you talk to the vendors, do not talk about your needs.
    Talk about their needs.
    Do not discuss money at all.
    If someone forgets to pay, never mention it.

  2. #32
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    For staying unemployed?
    are you an art major, too? 8<

  3. #33
    Senior Member knight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wildcat View Post
    Forget the bureaucrats. They do not need you.
    Do you have a market place near by? Talk to the vendors. They always need help.
    Their clients pay cash. It is what you need.
    Never say you are satisfied with a minimum pay. If you do, they disrespect you.

    When you talk to the vendors, do not talk about your needs.
    Talk about their needs.
    Do not discuss money at all.
    If someone forgets to pay, never mention it.
    good advice

  4. #34
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    What kinds of things are you guys lying about on your resumes? Gimmie examples. I've never heard of anyone doing it, but I'm wondering if that's because I had an easy life with easy opportunities. (So when I put "built houses in Africa" on my resume, it's truthful, because I was enabled by family.)
    Things I lie about:
    1. References. I generally put someone more reliable than my old bosses to actually pick up the phone. I'll call people in advance and let them know they're pretending to have worked with me. References are generally not as relied on as they once were, because this practice is so common, but it still helps to have reliable people on there. My old bosses would have never picked up the phone and had time to remember me, and say whether I rocked or not.
    2. Length of time in a position. If I worked 2 weekends a month for 6-7 months.. I just put that I was at that job for 6-7 months. I don't put if it was full time or part time or w/e. If they ask, I say part-time or full-time depending on what looks better. It helps to have no gaps in your unemployed time periods sans having an explanation like school or having a baby.
    3. Pay. I lie about what I was paid at the positions I was at to reflect more of what I am looking for in the position I want. It doesn't matter that I was paid $6 an hour at Golden Corral in 2004. If they ask about pay, I generally give statements like $11-12 an hour for admin work, $10 an hour for easy work, etc.
    4. Freelance work. I say I worked freelance work during any gaps, to boost up previous qualifications. I also say I've volunteered at places. I know how to use work/excel.. but saying I volunteered at a church as a clerical assistant working with word/excel looks better on the resume.


    What I don't lie about on resumes:
    1. Where I've worked/type of work. Background checks will forgive date confusions and things like that.. but if you say you worked at Execu-co and you really worked at Dairy Queen, it doesn't reflect well. Also, your experience reflects all of this, so saying you're experienced at one thing and not actually being so will show up. You can't say you've had experience as an instructor to someone with 15 years of experience.. they'll call you on your bullshit.
    2. The duties at the jobs I worked. This showcases the experience I have.. all I do is make it look more important with flowery language.
    3. My Education.
    4. My contact information.

    I lie about the unimportant stuff... and embellish the rest.
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  5. #35
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snuggletron View Post
    are you an art major, too? 8<
    Design. Close enough.




    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  6. #36
    Member Kimchitasi's Avatar
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    If this is a minimum wage job and not your field -whatever it may be- lie but tell the truth. If you get hired for a job you can't do you'll just as quickly be fired.

    Hide your weaknesses. No one wants to hear you say: 'I'm shy, I'm not good with people, ECT.' When someone asks me: 'What is your biggest weakness?' I say: 'I don't like to be idle. I like to keep busy.' While this is true, it isn't my biggest weakness. That is being afraid of failure. But no one is going to hire me if I say that.

    One trick you may try is work out the possibilities. I've gone through enough interviews that I prepare, mentally, for all the questions I might be asked. 'What was your last job? Why did you leave? What did you learn?' If you know the questions and the answers it just becomes more of a mind game.

    Lastly, shape a good resume. You can fake references because no one checks. Or at least, not for a job that is joke. And you don't need to include every job you had, just the ones you know will look good.

    Again, this is how to get a minimum wage job, which I assume you'll quit when you can. If you're going for a real job it is OK to exaggerate, but don't lie. It is a career not just a job at that point.

  7. #37
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    job hunting is a bitch everywhere lately it seems. i've had two min wage retail jobs lately and i hate/d them both. can't wait til i decide where to go back to school, because i am notttttt cut out for this.

    it just kills me to have been being paid more than this to actually use my brain in the past

    anyway. min wage. lie lie lie lie lie

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Things I lie about:
    1. References. I generally put someone more reliable than my old bosses to actually pick up the phone. I'll call people in advance and let them know they're pretending to have worked with me. References are generally not as relied on as they once were, because this practice is so common, but it still helps to have reliable people on there. My old bosses would have never picked up the phone and had time to remember me, and say whether I rocked or not.
    2. Length of time in a position. If I worked 2 weekends a month for 6-7 months.. I just put that I was at that job for 6-7 months. I don't put if it was full time or part time or w/e. If they ask, I say part-time or full-time depending on what looks better. It helps to have no gaps in your unemployed time periods sans having an explanation like school or having a baby.
    3. Pay. I lie about what I was paid at the positions I was at to reflect more of what I am looking for in the position I want. It doesn't matter that I was paid $6 an hour at Golden Corral in 2004. If they ask about pay, I generally give statements like $11-12 an hour for admin work, $10 an hour for easy work, etc.
    4. Freelance work. I say I worked freelance work during any gaps, to boost up previous qualifications. I also say I've volunteered at places. I know how to use work/excel.. but saying I volunteered at a church as a clerical assistant working with word/excel looks better on the resume.


    What I don't lie about on resumes:
    1. Where I've worked/type of work. Background checks will forgive date confusions and things like that.. but if you say you worked at Execu-co and you really worked at Dairy Queen, it doesn't reflect well. Also, your experience reflects all of this, so saying you're experienced at one thing and not actually being so will show up. You can't say you've had experience as an instructor to someone with 15 years of experience.. they'll call you on your bullshit.
    2. The duties at the jobs I worked. This showcases the experience I have.. all I do is make it look more important with flowery language.
    3. My Education.
    4. My contact information.

    I lie about the unimportant stuff... and embellish the rest.
    you are helpful. off to spiff up my resume.


  8. #38

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    Quote Originally Posted by tawanda View Post
    Are there any techniques you have used just to get a basic job? Do you know what works, and what doesn't?
    I built a skill that was easily transferable from workplace to workplace.

  9. #39
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimchitasi View Post
    Lastly, shape a good resume. You can fake references because no one checks. Or at least, not for a job that is joke. And you don't need to include every job you had, just the ones you know will look good.
    I don't know what types of jobs you're applying for but that hasn't been the case from my experience. People *do* check references. It's just too much of a risk to leave a fake reference.
    As far as including every single job you've ever had, that depends on what you're applying for. I've found that for lower level jobs like retail, they don't even accept resumes much of the time, you have to fill out their job application and it says on there to include ALL of your experience. Of course you could always omit things but then you have awkward gaps in employment that have to be accounted for. Having alot of gaps in employment doesn't look good to employers unless you have a very good reason. Yet, having too many jobs can make you look like a job hopper who isn't likely to stay in one job for a while.

    If you can, omit the jobs that were from long ago that don't relate much to what you're applying for, and those you were in for a very brief amount of time.
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  10. #40
    Senior Member esidebill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beargryllz View Post
    Lie about absolutely everything. The moment I stopped telling the whole truth on my applications and during interviews, was the moment I suddenly had more offers than I could possibly respond to.
    This is the stupidest advice I've ever heard. Yea, lie about everything and turn out to be the jerk that gets a job with no REAL qualifications.
    "Others should not judge what you truly are, instead you should find yourself. You may find yourself in a bowl of cereal or dreaming of the unknown, but make sure it is you who finds you." - Myself


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