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  1. #21
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I just don't want to be the one who delivers the coup de grace since he said that I'm one of the 3 people in the office who he feels has his back

    I've insinuated heavily that if he can't change he's going to have a lot of problems, but he doesn't seem to get it
    Just because he thought it doesn't make you obligated to be that. That was an error and his misjudgment. Also, his knowing some people may have his back and others not, indicates at least some awareness of his not fitting in. Not to sound distrusting, but it very well could have been a manipulative tactic to gain resources for his side. Specially if that is what he succeeds from, with no real skills to back it.

    Stop insinuating and just make it known. There is a problem. It cannot be denied. Do something or suffer the consequences.

    That way, by the time you have to fire him, everyone knows and is accepting of why.

    Idk, you sound like a caring person, but that could bite you in the ass, if you lose sight of what works best for the long run.

    If you continue to get frustrated with this guy, you will have to become a nagging source to get him to fulfill his duty. This is going to make you both miserable, as well as everyone else who relies on him in his position. Give him an HONEST shot, and if he still cant preform, set him off knowing you tried.

  2. #22
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I suggested he be sent out on his own for a couple of days for a sink or swin experiment... by now he's kind of an embarassing problem in a way... nobody wants to give up on him when he still has almost 4 full weeks left to acheive something, but nobody really sees it happening either. I am not the one who swings the axe though... just the one who suggests when swinging should be considered and who it should be swung towards
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #23
    ThatGirl
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    Lol you're a scary woman....

    Sounds like you have the situation under control. I hope you feel better about it, let what will be, be then.

  4. #24
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    yeah... I just guess that I wish that there could be some other way... where I didn't have to feel like I'm sending someone who put all their eggs into one basket onto a rollercoaster or something
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  5. #25
    ThatGirl
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    Yeah, that would have been telling him straight up and sticking to your guns, rather than sending him out to make a fool of himself.

    Really, the whole point is whether he can do the job or not. You decide that or everyone decides that. You make him aware, or everyone makes him aware.

    If he is already on probation and watched among a community, then it doesn't matter, he and everyone else will find out sooner or later.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    I am quite surprised to hear myself say this to you, but, damn, TG, you were on point with every post in this whole thread.

    Props! I enjoyed reading that.

    *****

  7. #27
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I've been working on training a new guy who really has the right attitude to succeed but none of the skills... it's really frustrating because I've seen the opposite occur so many times, but this is new. The guy really has his hopes set on succeeding in this job to the point where he's basically built his life and squandered his money on it... and he quit another job that's less risky because he feels that this job is the answer to his prayers.

    The problem is that he just doesn't have the abilities that are NEEDED to succeed in the job... to watch him happily wander along like a hopeful puppy, talking about how getting this job changed his life for the better just crushes my soul a little every time I see or think about it. I feel really guilty... to the point where I just wish he would disappear and I wouldn't have to figure out what to do about it and feel guilty about it anymore... which in turn makes me feel even more guilty for being such a moral coward about the whole thing

    How do you let someone know that they just don't have the correct skills for their dream job?

    And how do you do it without spitting in the face of a younger version of yourself?
    What is wrong with his skills? Attitude is far more important than skills.
    With right attitude, you eventually learn skills.
    Why should you block his way? Leave him alone. He is young. He will be all right.

  8. #28
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    I'm a bit hesitant here. In a lot of cases, the right attitude will get you to aquire the needed skills. But sometimes that's totally impossible. If you lack a hand, you can't be a pianist (except for Ravel's Concerto for the left hand).
    Usually it's not that simple... You can't deny a lacking hand. But how to point out that someone isn't good enough at eg. abstract thinking? I took this example because I've hit my own limit there. I'm very good at abstract reasoning and at switching back and forth between abstract and concrete, between theory, example and experiment. People have confirmed this through my life. But string theory was one hurdle too far for me.

    I'd say try to be both clear and reasonable. I know that's difficult. If it's about a skill that can be aquired, tell him this is the thing he has got to work on. Maybe you can also point out other, similar careers. Becoming a science teacher instead of an academic researcher cured some of the problems I had with research (too abstract, no interaction, no deadlines) while it's still about something which interests me (science).

    Please don't just watch the disaster happening.
    And please... if you told him but he just went ahead without listening, please don't tell "I told you so" afterwards. There's nothing more infuriating than that. Then you've got to be there to search new possibilities.
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  9. #29
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Yeah, that would have been telling him straight up and sticking to your guns, rather than sending him out to make a fool of himself.

    Really, the whole point is whether he can do the job or not. You decide that or everyone decides that. You make him aware, or everyone makes him aware.

    If he is already on probation and watched among a community, then it doesn't matter, he and everyone else will find out sooner or later.

    What you do you know about him?
    Second hand gossip.
    You have no right to judge.

  10. #30
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wildcat View Post
    What is wrong with his skills? Attitude is far more important than skills.
    With right attitude, you eventually learn skills.
    Why should you block his way? Leave him alone. He is young. He will be all right.
    if he had an indefinite amount of time attitude may work... he only has a limited amount of time in his training period to show that he can do it or he gets fired. I have no say over that part at all
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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