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  1. #11
    ThatGirl
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    Assess whether you like him enough, or feel sorry enough, to do his job for him then.

    Emotional/Rational

  2. #12
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    the frustrating thing is that I DIDN'T hire him... someone else did and they were fired before he started for other reasons... he begged the boss for the job and the boss had pity on him and sent me out to train him because I've had the best luck with difficult cases of anyone in the office. I may be able to work miracles in some cases (mostly for people with low self esteem and confidence issues) but this is a bit overwhelming. I've always succeeded because I feel sorry for people... and now that's coming back to bite me

    and he seems so OBLIVIOUS to his problems as well!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #13
    ThatGirl
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    Has anyone brought up these issues with him?

  4. #14
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I've mentioned a long list of things that he really needs to work on, and I've corrected him when he does something wrong and I've given him example after example of what works... I've done it in an amazingly un-blunt manner for me as well... but I haven't told him that he just doesn't have some of the essential skills. I feel that it's a pay grade above me to crush someone like that
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  5. #15
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    WHAT'S HIS TYPE?

    (sorry I had to) lol

  6. #16
    ThatGirl
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    This sounds like my ex husband.

    I never knew how he survived for so long in jobs, and relationships. It was because he had charisma, and people felt sorry for him, and invested in him. Myself included.

    Though he had nothing to back it.

    So the point is, if it cant be done, it cant be done.

    Stop focusing on who he is as a person, and focus on whether the job is getting done or not, and if he cant do it kick him to the curb. There is probably someone a lot more qualified, who cares about the feedback of their supervisors, that would make a better match.

    I'd get blunt first though. Just so it isn't a complete shock when he finds out he wasn't cutting it.

  7. #17
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    very hard to figure out really... a bit awkward to place somehow

    kind of like a socially mal-adjusted ExTJ in a way- Fe and Se problems definitley...
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #18
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    This sounds like my ex husband.

    I never knew how he survived for so long in jobs, and relationships. It was because he had charisma, and people felt sorry for him, and invested in him. Myself included.

    Though he had nothing to back it.

    So the point is, if it cant be done, it cant be done.

    Stop focusing on who he is as a person, and focus on whether the job is getting done or not, and if he cant do it kick him to the curb. There is probably someone a lot more qualified, who cares about the feedback of their supervisors, that would make a better match.

    I'd get blunt first though. Just so it isn't a complete shock when he finds out he wasn't cutting it.
    I can recommend that he be fired, but I don't do the firing... and he hasn't prevented me from doing my job, but I guess part of it is that my pride is involved as well. I don't like to fail at training someone... my sales, however, have not suffered
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  9. #19
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I can recommend that he be fired, but I don't do the firing... and he hasn't prevented me from doing my job, but I guess part of it is that my pride is involved as well. I don't like to fail at training someone... my sales, however, have not suffered
    Woah, weird association. That is because those were the same exact conclusions I came to with my ex. It is weird how professional relationships are so true to life.

    So, this is one of those, I hope you get the point from my story things.

    It took me a long time to dump my ex, and I realized a lot of it had to do with pride, and refusing to fail. When shit finally hit the fan enough to get serious (hopefully you don't get to that point), I realized my constant nagging was inhibiting the performance he was capable of before. Since he had nothing else to rely on, he was becoming an insecure and miserable man. He liked banking on his charisma, and that is what made him happy when he succeeded.

    Since I couldn't live off charisma and desire alone, and he couldn't live without it, the pairing of the two dynamics caused everyone to be very miserable.

    It was just as much my sucking up my pride, as it was for him to step up.

    Eventually one of us had to do something, that was best for everyone. That person was me.

    Since then he has found a nice woman who likes what he has to offer a relationship, and he preforms better than he ever could under my nagging hand.



    *I hope that wasn't completely irrelevant.

  10. #20
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I don't plan on getting in a relationship with him in the least (I adore the man who I keep at home!) but yeah... sometimes setting one's pride aside can lead to the best possible consequences for everyone... I just don't want to be the one who delivers the coup de grace since he said that I'm one of the 3 people in the office who he feels has his back

    I've insinuated heavily that if he can't change he's going to have a lot of problems, but he doesn't seem to get it
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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