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  1. #1
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Question Decisions Decisions

    Hey guys,

    I having to make a pretty big decision with a fork in the road I currently have. I would love to see what you guys think about it. I've talked to some of my closest friends and have gotten great counsel on it, but I love opening it up to strangers to get an unbiased view sometimes.

    This is my first venture out of the NF Idyllic subforum, but Im pretty sure I'll be fine.

    Background:

    I'm a senior at a very large university in Texas (almost 50k students) and major in international studies and Arabic. I have an outstanding resume (I dont like to boast but...). I have a high GPA, tons of leadership, established two organizations, heavily involved, studied abroad and produced a documentary in the Middle East, etc etc....

    I really want to work with humanitarian organizations in the Middle East or a place that uses Arabic. Im fascinated with the Middle East, Islamic societies, Arabic, etc... and I absolutely love serving the humanitarian world.

    I recently filled out a Fulbright Grant application and apparently did very well. I was the highest rated undergraduate at my university who applied for the grant. If I received the grant I would be able to go to Israel and obtain a masters in International Conflict (Yay! ) The grant pays for everything. Plane ticket, housing, food, tuition, everything.

    The Situation

    My best friend and roommate was recently offered a job in Sudan. He will be doing social media, video, and photography work with a humanitarian organization there. Its a great opportunity. Even better - they like to send people in pairs. Me and my ENFJ roommate work phenomenally together. When we were in the Middle East this summer we kicked ass and got stuff done. It was a great experience. I was offered to go with him - the problem? I wouldn't be able to take the Fulbright if I accepted this job.

    The job is great and I would do a good job at it. It is not EXACTLY what I want to do, but its in the right area and I would be able to learn a lot from it.

    I don't find out about the Fulbright until MAY. So if I don't take this job and then I do not receive the grant, I'll have no idea what to do with myself. If I take this job I have to start raising support to help fund me IMMEDIATELY.

    Maybe more background...? (optional)

    This is personal, but one of the things holding me back from taking this job with my best friend is this - He's kind of pretentious (I dont know if its an ENFJ thing or what). Sometimes I feel like Im walking behind him and not beside him, like I'm not at valuable as he is. I really think this comes from my own insecurity and he doesn't truly feel like that, but sometimes I really wonder.

    Maybe its time for me to branch out and break apart from him? We've had a great run in college together and I know we're going to stay friends for the rest of our lives, so maybe its time to go different directions.

    The Question

    What should I do? Take the job or hold out and see if I get the Fulbright Grant?

    I'm extremely blessed either way and I realize that, but usually you forum peeps have good advice AND I'm allowed to ignore it if I dont like it.

    Thanks for any feedback!

  2. #2
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    This is almost our entire pm paraphrased! Baw
    lol... Anyway...

    The difficult thing here is that you don't know if you have the grant. If you knew you had it, I would tell you to go for your goal and separate yourself. You need to pursue yourself as yourself, you know? If there's an overbearing other party, it will cloud the experience in some way.
    We probably are a bit inherently pretentious, made worse by being underdeveloped or oblivious to it.

    Is there a specific deadline about the Sudan thing, or is it just the needing to immediately raise support that is putting the strain right now? You should contemplate a third option and debate if third option is better than Sudan if Fulbright falls through. Also, contemplate the scenario of you choosing Sudan, and then finding out you got the Fulbright. How would you feel? If you forsee a 'Damn, I should have done this' then evaluate from there. If you see it in both scenarios- well.. can cross that bridge in discussion
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  3. #3
    Glycerine
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    I would say, go do your own thing! . It would probably be a better growth experience for you because you guys are going to go onto the next stage of life. If you feel like he's pretentious, then it may grow to resentment because it doesn't usually bode well if one feels potentially overshadowed by another.... that might actually hold you back from showing your full potential. This is relating to the job opportunity. Good luck on your decision!

    I agree about looking for other alternatives.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    This is almost our entire pm paraphrased! Baw
    lol... Anyway...

    The difficult thing here is that you don't know if you have the grant. If you knew you had it, I would tell you to go for your goal and separate yourself. You need to pursue yourself as yourself, you know? If there's an overbearing other party, it will cloud the experience in some way.
    We probably are a bit inherently pretentious, made worse by being underdeveloped or oblivious to it.

    Is there a specific deadline about the Sudan thing, or is it just the needing to immediately raise support that is putting the strain right now? You should contemplate a third option and debate if third option is better than Sudan if Fulbright falls through. Also, contemplate the scenario of you choosing Sudan, and then finding out you got the Fulbright. How would you feel? If you forsee a 'Damn, I should have done this' then evaluate from there. If you see it in both scenarios- well.. can cross that bridge in discussion
    Haha no way! This was on simple facet and I didnt even tak about needing to choose what to do.

    I would feel terrible if I chose Sudan then received the Fulbright. Its such an honor and it would be the perfect opportunity for me right now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    I would say, go do your own thing! . It would probably be a better growth experience for you because you guys are going to go onto the next stage of life. If you feel like he's pretentious, then it may grow to resentment because it doesn't usually bode well if one feels potentially overshadowed by another.... that might actually hold you back from showing your full potential. This is relating to the job opportunity. Good luck on your decision!

    I agree about looking for other alternatives.
    Its hard to just "go do your own thing" when I dont know if I've received the grant. The US just hit 9.8% unemployment. Would I me able to get a job if I dont take this one?

  5. #5
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    Haha no way! This was on simple facet and I didnt even tak about needing to choose what to do.

    I would feel terrible if I chose Sudan then received the Fulbright. Its such an honor and it would be the perfect opportunity for me right now.

    Well I know you didn't, lest I would have responded to that there! .

    Ahem.. so when do you need to decide on Sudan? When would he/you be expected to leave? Would it be possible to put effort toward going, but withdraw if you get the Fulbright, course under the pretense that said plan is known about?
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  6. #6
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post

    Well I know you didn't, lest I would have responded to that there! .

    Ahem.. so when do you need to decide on Sudan? When would he/you be expected to leave? Would it be possible to put effort toward going, but withdraw if you get the Fulbright, course under the pretense that said plan is known about?
    Hopefully by the end of December-beginning of Jan?

    We would leave in the summer.

    There is no way I would back out of the Sudan thing if I accepted it. Its a support based organization so I would help them raise money to send me over there (its very possible and I could do it) and it would be absolutely embarrassing to say, "Just kidding!" after raising money for 6 months. Many of those people would be my family and friends. Its simply unethical and unprofessional.

  7. #7
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    Hopefully by the end of December-beginning of Jan?

    We would leave in the summer.

    There is no way I would back out of the Sudan thing if I accepted it. Its a support based organization so I would help them raise money to send me over there (its very possible and I could do it) and it would be absolutely embarrassing to say, "Just kidding!" after raising money for 6 months. Many of those people would be my family and friends. Its simply unethical and unprofessional.
    Ah, I see. Hmm.
    Personally, I vote for 'third option', although there's not yet clarity on what that may be. Either way, it would give you a proper chance to utilize the grant if you get it and can allow you some of your own space away from the ENFJ partner-in-crime.
    If you don't get the grant, can you reapply/for when, if so? Yes, we're playing 20 questions lol.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  8. #8
    Glycerine
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    I agree.

  9. #9
    Glycerine
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    How long is the job in Sudan for? Is it long-term?

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