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Phone anxieties, dislikes calling and avoids doing so.

LucrativeSid

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Oct 20, 2007
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837
Ideas:

If you stammer or make a mistake while speaking on the phone, it's okay as long as you get your point across. Don't judge yourself on whether or not you're perfectly charming, but whether or not you get your point across.

If you're being confusing, people will ask for clarification. It's not like you're leaving a voice mail. If leaving a voice mail, know roughly what you'll say ahead of time, but don't rush through it awkwardly.

The people who you talk to on the phone talk to dozens of people on the phone a day, and they have their own jobs, duties, and stresses. If you're less than perfect in delivery but the point is solid, they'll be happy, and even if you sounded like an idiot the whole time, they'll forget about it 3 seconds after they hang up.

Make phone calls at every available opportunity. Instead of looking something up on Google, call and ask on the phone. Get used to all kinds of phone interactions.

Find some way to connect to the person on the phone. It will break your own ice. If they state their name upon answering, use their name when addressing them. Ask them how they are today. Say something funny.

Write down how scary it seems to you before you make a call and how bad it actually was afterward. It's never that bad. Your own statistics will sooth your mind.

Make the call now. This way you can avoid putting it off and making a bigger deal out of it than it really is. Just dial the number, you'll still have a few seconds to relax before they pick up.

Good luck, and make the most of this experience outside of your comfort zone!
 

Synapse

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Dec 29, 2007
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Thanks for the responses. Thanks LucrativeSid and Southern Cross, good information to practice.

I'm not the only one that feels like this, I though I was a bit abnormal. I mean this goes way back. I remember I used to psych myself out for hours saying lots of back talk like.

You wimp, make that frigging call already, what does it take a cattle prod or something to jolt you into action. Just frigging do it, whats so hard about picking the phone up and talking, just talk already, pick the phone up and dial, why am I back talking like this for hours and not picking up the phone then I'd just storm away and not pick up the phone and do other things.

You are right CzeCze I'm just going to have to suck it up and practice a lot.
 

Randomnity

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May 8, 2007
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I hate the phone too, to the point where I only phone if absolutely forced, have no cell phone and don't answer my home phone. I go by email if remotely possible, to the point of inconvenience.

I could try to get over it but for now I'm spending my energy in other areas. I imagine practice would make it better, it always does. And it's never really that bad in the moment. But I dread it, it's actually terrifying for me.
 

Mole

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Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
The Privileged Eye

The telephone is all about me 'cause everything is all about me.

In fact the telephone changes our sense ratios, in the same way that literacy changes our sense ratios.

And as print privileges the eye, we might think that the phone privileges the ear.

But no, the telephone, together with the other electronic media, are bring our sense ratios back into balance. And indeed the phone is redressing the privilege of the eye, produced by print.

And the eye is so used to its privileges, it feels anxiety when they are removed by the phone.

So the anxiety we feel is the anxiety at having our privileges removed.
 

Synapse

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An update, since last I haven't called the stores however today.

I got a phone interview and it went less than stellar for a customer service role, hahaha I'm silly, a call center. As I was sending out some 35 job applications this morning.

I have been known to be stubborn in the face of change and do things opposite of what is recommended, ie not really good for customer calling, hahaha why I'd rather email job applications than call the 15 stores in my current casual job to get work.

And how the heck do I think I'll manage a call center, like the hell, should I get it. I went for it because I got the phone and internet connected with the company.

I have phone anxieties bad it seems although what's a good challenge than being right there exposed to it and practicing. Of course this could backfire well.
 

Synapse

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Oh dear WORD!

Okay so I got a parking ticket by a ranger cos there are two cars, ones mine the other um on loan. long story.

spurred on i ah ring, actually ring the car yard agent, that wasn't so bad, to get a car refund since work wise not in a good place. then i try to start my car and the battery is flat. then i buy spark cables to to start the engine, i think i might have put them back to front so my neighbour tells me for the car is flat. i said but it was to begin with.

anyway i call, actually ring an auto electrician next and says its cheaper to get a tow truck than a mobile mechanic and have a look, install an immobiliser the car dealer should of put in too as its compulsory in my country. and general service. i just want a refund now, i was too hasty in getting the new car. would of been okay were i working more hours.

then you'd think i'd be spurred on by the momentum and ring for all the causal store jobs, i'm bleeding money atm. ffs what are my priorities anyway, and what exactly do i deem more necessary a vehicle or a stable job and income where i earn money.

sometimes i wonder, phone anxieties when i can do that. whats up with that!!!

instead i typed this out. i'm going for a jog, disgusted at myself.


edit: after getting back from a non jog, a walk. I decided that I have to start non jogging regularly or at least try to start jogging even if i feel tired.

as to the rest, meh, it'll work out somehow. suppose i don't like that i have to get vaccinated for the new job, has reservations about committing and needing to go to too many different locations, i just want to stay in a place and be done with it and feel unstressed.
 

Chunes

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Man, call centers are terrible places for people with phone anxieties. Especially INFPs.

I lasted about 2 weeks at one before I got so stressed out that I literally thought I was going to have a heart attack at age 24. I had to quit. They told me that I should stick it out, that I would get good at it eventually. This was one of those times where that was an absolute LIE. Every day I went to work I dreaded it worse than the day before. Quitting that was the best thing I ever did.
 
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