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  1. #11
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Yeah I also have this problem, I don't know why. I'm totally fine with talking to anybody in person, but I tend to freeze on the phone, I think it's because I can't read their body language.
    The telephone has been used successfully to treat neurosis in children.

    For the telephone encourages spontaneity. And without spontaneous conversation, the telephone doesn't work.

    And we are neurotic, not because we can't read body language on the phone, but because we lack spontaneity.

    Face to face, body language provides context, but on the phone, tone of voice and the rhythm language itself, provides the context.

  2. #12
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Ugh, I hate the phone.

    In my house, I go to great lengths to get out of answering it; sometimes I even run out of the room. I don't mind if its someone close to me calling (yay for caller ID) but beyond that it feels like a huge imposition - like a stranger bursting through my front door uninvited. I only want to talk to who I want to, when I want to talk to them. But then this isn't limited to the phone. I hate it most forms of communication when they are forced on me. The phone just seems to be the most invasive.

    I agree with what someone said about making the call into an act. Lately I've been making calls to inquire for work and going to interviews, and I have literally tried to channel an ENFJ which seems to help. It can relieve a great deal of pressure if you're not being you.

    3 other tips that worked for me:
    - Try to smile as you speak. It pleasantly changes the tone of your voice and people unconsciously respond well to it.
    - Write down a basic outline of what you want to say and have it in front of you as you are speaking. It can remove some anxiety when you know what you want to get across. Maybe even write down your opening statements/introductions word for word so you can appear very smooth and confident. You have to make it natural though - don't let it sound like you're reciting something.
    - Stand as you speak; even pace around a bit if you want. A guy in marketing told me about this and he spends most of the day on the phone. Standing frees you up a bit, making you feel less constricted and releases the tension, which can reduce the anxiety. Also it makes it easier to connect to your thoughts and improves your ability to respond to things that arise in the conversation.

  3. #13
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    With people I have never met, I'd prefer to talk in person than on the phone. I like having the additional feedback of their mannerisms, body language, eye contact, etc. It's disconcerting. But if it's someone I have met before, it's not so bad to me.

    Sometimes when I have to make a phone call at work I will write down the important points to say just to make sure I mention everything.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  4. #14
    Yeah, I can fly. Aleksei's Avatar
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    I have zero phone anxiety, and the majority of my work history consists of call center jobs. Can't help you, sorry.
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  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Ugh, I hate the phone.
    The internet is simply your computer connected to the telephone.

    You love the internet otherwise you would not be here, so it seems odd you hate the telephone.

  6. #16
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Aw, I sympathize with you. My career was (no I'm not retired, just switching careers) in sales and marketing and good phone skills are essential.

    The good news? This anxiety is momentary and is definitely conquerable. You have to prime yourself out of this anxiety the way you do with a lot of anxieties - through merciless repetition, role play, and desensitizing yourself.

    I would recommend placing mock phone calls and recording yourself. Play it back and see how you sound. Nervous? High pitched? Tentative? Your voice presentation is vitally important. Simple steps are to slow down your breathing before hand and have cards in front of you outlining your points or even whole sentences.

    I have a tendency to speak more quickly and high pitched (I'm a girl) when I get nervous so I have to consciously slow it down and deepen it when I'm speaking publicly, with clients (on the phone or off) etc.

    You're anxious because you think it's gonna be a horrible experience and you're gonna suck. NOT true!

    You can be a total ace at this and be impressive. All it takes is practice.

    I really encourage you to make as many fake calls as possible to prepare and get comfortable with the usual questions/objections you may hear on the phone.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

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  7. #17
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    Pleasure

    Most teenagers love talking on the phone for hours at a time. And most women love talking on the phone. You only have to walk around to see teenagers and women in particular talking on their mobile phones all day.

    It seems that when we have to use the phone or the computer for business the pleasure seems to go out of it.

    So it seems the phone and the computer are best used for social and creative reasons, for that is where the pleasure lies.

    In fact when I worked in the Department of Immigration I had free access to international calls. And I found myself forming friendships in Australian Embassies all over the world. Of course it was expected that I would limit my call to official business, but the sheer pleasure of warm muzzle to warm ear, whispering across the world, tempted me to the pleasures of conversation, just as Typology Central tempts me to pleasure every day.

  8. #18
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    The internet is simply your computer connected to the telephone.

    You love the internet otherwise you would not be here, so it seems odd you hate the telephone.
    I don't abide by that sort of logic.

  9. #19
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleksei View Post
    I have zero phone anxiety, and the majority of my work history consists of call center jobs. Can't help you, sorry.
    I hate you.


    *secretly jealous*

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I don't abide by that sort of logic.
    Logic is misplaced on the telephone.

    The telephone is based on the pleasure of spontaneous conversation.

    So just give me a ring for free on Skype and let us replace logic with pleasure.

    Logic, after all, is visual while the telephone is aural, and bestows the pleasure of conversation.

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