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  1. #51
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by magil View Post
    I think this might be because personality is more important in turning on a woman than it is for a man. (for guys it's mostly all visual aka physical attraction) But for women it's a combination of the two, with personality and atmosphereic qualities being even more important than the physical ones usually. So because of this, women tend to have higher standards and are more picky than men.
    hmm...

    1. sense of humor does not matter (when a girl likes you, everything you say sounds funnier)
    2. your looks do not matter (when a girl likes you, everything you do looks better)
    3. personality does not matter (when a girl likes you, everything you do looks better)

    However, having a personality, being funny, and looking good often help ones power and social status

    It comes down to perceived social status/power (either one). The "perceived" point is important. Think of the computer nerd who some woman sees as being all smart/important. ... When we were in high school it was jocks. In college it was the well connected to the parties. In yuppie world its the money/flash. In the mid life its the stability. In the old age (singles) it probably reverts back to whose fun and athletic

    Point is that, for one more time, the ratio doesnt matter. The girls will always only be really attracted to the top 10% "total packages".

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    Being single isn't a death sentence, jesus.
    Exactly! So why do they think it is? Is the point I'm trying to get to . . .
    (the reason: because they live in a society that tells them that relationships are everything.)
    Why are they so dependent on men?
    Something that I've felt in the past is, and I know this sounds pretty extreme but girls cling to guys because they feel like, they don't have the same freedoms and oppurtunities they do, sort of in the same way a parent will be like to their children, it may be too late for me but i can try living though you . .. Adds a whole nother meaning to the idea of, "your happiness is my happiness."
    I know this mentality sounds extreme and riduclous, but it's true. It exists. the question is why?

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    hmm...

    1. sense of humor does not matter (when a girl likes you, everything you say sounds funnier)
    2. your looks do not matter (when a girl likes you, everything you do looks better)
    3. personality does not matter (when a girl likes you, everything you do looks better)
    I would actualy say all these things matter and that while social status also matters some, it is certainly not all that matters.
    If what you are talking about is how the popular cheerleader would never date that nerdy boy in like . . .middle school, then all I can say is that I really think this mentality decreases with age and maturity. Social standings dimish greatly once your co-workers I'd imagine and if not, then that girl is super immature and not worth your time. If she is purely rejecting you based on power and social standing that is.

  4. #54
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    2. your looks do not matter (when a girl likes you, everything you do looks better)
    Ehhh I disagree. Looks seem to be extremely important for being able to have a positive first contact with a girl.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  5. #55
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    Maybe because the other half seem like the type that would date-rape them.

    I mean, this is college.
    Meanwhile it's the guys they are dating that are doing the date-rape and taping them while drunk and posting it on the net while the other guys either don't rate or don't try.

    Quote Originally Posted by magil View Post
    Hmm. Good question. What makes a guy undatable to these types of girls, or just girls in general?
    I think that question deserves its own thread. I'm gonna have to ponder this for a while.
    edit: actually, I finish pondering. Obviously for some people, maybe a lot of people, looks are important. But even if your fat or something, but have an appealing personality, you can get girls. But I'd say if, you are both unattractive physically and your personality is just . . .blah, or disconcerting or something, then you might still have trouble getting girls even when the conditions are in your favor like this.
    But I'd say the cause of most of the Mr. Lonelyhearts is probably the guys being to picky, or too shy to actually put them selves out there and get a girl. Maybe there are some (again I'm just guessing here, I'm not a guy or in college) who find the whole hooking up scene extremely unappealing or intimidating, but then lament not having a girlfriend even though they haven;t done anything to pursue one.
    This I see is the issue, which kind of coincides with what Babylon Candle has been saying.

    I suddently remembered... When in college I had three girls pass through within one year and the difference between getting laid or not was whether or not I went for it. I also went to an all tech school where a class only had about 3-5 women out of a total of 20-25 students each.
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  6. #56
    Senior Member avolkiteshvara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by magil View Post
    Yeah i had the same thoughts, when I first heard the percentages. 60%? 6 to 4? Doesn't seem that unreasonable. But then when you consider that half the guys aren't even on the scene . . .6 to 2? 3 to 1? I can kind of see what they are saying.

    Good points, though and I'm not even in college so I don't really know how exagerrated this article may be first hand. I think being an F I just tend to sympathise when ever I hear about injustices like this . . .idk. Sort of in the same way NTs will eat up philosophers words, I can be the same way when it comes to social issues.
    The guys that are taken are with other women at the college no? Thus reducing competition.

  7. #57
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    This I see is the issue, which kind of coincides with what Babylon Candle has been saying.

    I suddently remembered... When in college I had three girls pass through within one year and the difference between getting laid or not was whether or not I went for it.
    the "hook up culture" definitely turns me off. If you try and take it slow, the girls just view you as: weak, possibly gay or not available. So instead it all has to go backwards: hook ups --> more time together --> assumed continuation of hookups --> people start calling them a couple --> they admit they are together --> THEN they can get to know eachother and explore it....


    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Ehhh I disagree. Looks seem to be extremely important for being able to have a positive first contact with a girl.
    I agree that its "necessary". Could it be more like hurdle rate to be above? Like being above 5 is necessary, but above that it doesnt matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by magil View Post
    I would actualy say all these things matter and that while social status also matters some, it is certainly not all that matters.
    If what you are talking about is how the popular cheerleader would never date that nerdy boy in like . . .middle school, then all I can say is that I really think this mentality decreases with age and maturity. Social standings dimish greatly once your co-workers I'd imagine and if not, then that girl is super immature and not worth your time. If she is purely rejecting you based on power and social standing that is.
    Thats part of my point though. I dont think people do grow out of it. They just become more oblivious to people's social status as they get older (because there is less of a "social system" like in a school setting. They still care though. I think the "status" symbols change. So you're right, later on its no longer about popular cheerleaders...but i think that sentiment still remains.

    Quote Originally Posted by magil View Post
    Exactly! So why do they think it is? Is the point I'm trying to get to . . .
    (the reason: because they live in a society that tells them that relationships are everything.)
    Why are they so dependent on men?
    Something that I've felt in the past is, and I know this sounds pretty extreme but girls cling to guys because they feel like, they don't have the same freedoms and oppurtunities they do, sort of in the same way a parent will be like to their children, it may be too late for me but i can try living though you . .. Adds a whole nother meaning to the idea of, "your happiness is my happiness."
    I know this mentality sounds extreme and riduclous, but it's true. It exists. the question is why?
    I think its more than just women though that have this pressure. Yes, its part of the ESTP male stereotype to not care about relationships. However, I'll use this as an example:

    People that play WOW. Ive definitely seen articles that go back and forth about how its: its a real waste of time vs "well everything is a waste of time! TV, internet etc its just a hobby"... and often the chief final blow is about WOW is worse because it takes away time from ever having a SO more than other hobbies. The fact that this ALWAYS comes up leads me to ask: so basically everything in life is meaningless unless I have a girlfriend???

    Disclaimer: I dont even play wow!


    I think its humanity in general that feels pressured. Not just girls.

  8. #58
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by magil View Post
    Exactly! So why do they think it is? Is the point I'm trying to get to . . .
    (the reason: because they live in a society that tells them that relationships are everything.)
    Why are they so dependent on men?
    Something that I've felt in the past is, and I know this sounds pretty extreme but girls cling to guys because they feel like, they don't have the same freedoms and oppurtunities they do, sort of in the same way a parent will be like to their children, it may be too late for me but i can try living though you . .. Adds a whole nother meaning to the idea of, "your happiness is my happiness."
    I know this mentality sounds extreme and riduclous, but it's true. It exists. the question is why?
    Yeah, it's an interesting situation. I think a lot of it has to do with low self esteem (for whatever reasons), and also low self-motivation/independence.

    I know guys like that too though. I have a friend who serially dates people to the extent that he has eventually cheated on his last two bfs (with the next bf) rather than breaking up when things went downhill, because he doesn't like being single...
    -end of thread-

  9. #59
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    the "hook up culture" definitely turns me off. If you try and take it slow, the girls just view you as: weak, possibly gay or not available. So instead it all has to go backwards: hook ups --> more time together --> assumed continuation of hookups --> people start calling them a couple --> they admit they are together --> THEN they can get to know eachother and explore it....
    Yeah, I'm not into it either. I run too high on the oxytocin to do one night stands with out major internal emotional backlash. It sucks because while I need to be sure I'm not misrepresenting myself or shoving knives through my spine I'm also running a two and a half year case of blue balls. Might almost have to take a jab to the back of my skull just to make sure I'm not seeming desperate for the girls I do want.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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  10. #60
    Priestess Of Syrinx Katsuni's Avatar
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    Depends on the college of course, and alot of factors, but I'd not be surprised if cost played a large part of it too... guys are more likely to be expected to go to work immediately out of high school, and aren't qualified for extra bursaries and loans that are female-only.

    Of course, in some places, such as the college I'm at... due to it being a technical arts college, it's heavily skewed to the male side for some courses; the class I'm in started as a 3-13 female-male split, and has since dropped to 2-11.

    Another factor could just be that parents tend to be more protective of their daughters and look out for them more; they're more likely to have savings to put their daughter through college, whereas they'd expect their son to earn his way.

    There's alot of other explanations I'm sure as well, but I'm trying to stick to ones that aren't just "ZOMG GUYS R DUM".

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