User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 27

  1. #1
    Senior Member ubiquitous1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    172

    Default Not Hot For Teacher

    I am having problems with my daughter’s teacher. These issues began in the fall during the “open house”, which happened about a month after the start of school. While visiting my daughter’s classroom during the “open house” the teacher approached me and began to complain about my daughter reading during her class and she said that my daughter’s grades weren’t all A’s, which they were, and that possibly my daughter should be moved to another class because the teacher felt that her personality and my daughter’s personality weren’t compatible.

    During her little monologue her body language was very aggressive, it was like she waiting for me to flip out or act like a parent who thinks their kid does no wrong. Anyway, I explained to her that in previous years my daughter had been encouraged by her teachers to read because it kept her busy while they worked with the children who needed more help. However, I told her I understood how she felt and that I thought it was disrespectful for her to read while in her class and I would talk to her about it. She continued to act confrontational with me repeating the above monologue at least two more times and I kept reassuring her that I would talk to my daughter.

    A few weeks after this my daughter and the other “gifted” kids returned from their “gifted” class a few minutes late and the teacher singled my daughter out for interrogation, embarrassing her in front of the other kids. The next week the gifted teacher let the kids out 5 minutes early and my daughter’s teacher was mad that they were back to class early. Again, she singled out my kid.

    I had another encounter with her after my daughter’s Christmas program. I had wanted to take a picture of her before I left. At first she just ignored me while she yelled at the kids, with me standing right next to her. Then she turned to me with the most nasty look, I told her what I wanted, took the picture and left. I have no idea what this woman’s issue is with me, but I rub her the way for some reason.

    This same crap has continued. It now seems to me that she doesn’t like the “gifted” kids and goes out of her way to ridicule them. I also found out that she had a lot of the “gifted” kids removed from her class prior to the start of the school year. So, it may be that her issue is more with the gifted kids than with just my daughter.

    Obviously my daughter is upset and ISTP dad is upset and about to go “talk” with her and the principal. However, my daughter is afraid that she will be moved or that Dad will do something to embarrass her. So, if anyone has any ideas about how I can handle this situation with a minimum amount of drama I would appreciate your insight.

  2. #2
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9 sp/sx
    Socionics
    LIE
    Posts
    3,965

    Default

    have you talked to the higher ups?
    filed harassment claim?
    I N V I C T U S

  3. #3
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    Whoa, sounds like she has control issues and is scared that the "gifted" children will one-up her...she acts preemptively to put the children "in their place". Maybe moving your daughter to a different class might be best? But then, the teacher gets her way...ugh.

  4. #4
    Senior Member ubiquitous1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    172

    Default

    No, but I was thinking about talking to the principal. I wish there was another way to deal with this.

  5. #5
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9 sp/sx
    Socionics
    LIE
    Posts
    3,965

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ubiquitous1 View Post
    No, but I was thinking about talking to the principal. I wish there was another way to deal with this.
    There is but judging from your hesitant and polite tone, I doubt you want to go to jail
    I N V I C T U S

  6. #6
    Senior Member ubiquitous1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    172

    Default

    True,LOL. However, ISTP dad .....

  7. #7
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9 sp/sx
    Socionics
    LIE
    Posts
    3,965

    Default

    .....won't get caught
    I N V I C T U S

  8. #8
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    7w8 sx/so
    Socionics
    SLE
    Posts
    6,927

    Default

    Wow. Her behavior is completely unacceptable.
    She should not even be an educator.

    I have dealt with a few crap teachers at this point, and put them in their place. These type of nasty people make you appreciate the many good teachers in school systems, but unfortunately hurtful people can do alot of damage quickly, especially to a young child, and that is why my course of action would be the following:

    (1) Document the list of incidents you have had with this woman in a numbered list, with dates, and clear and concise details. Use nice parchment, I always like Executive weight paper in an ivory or beige color, as it is one step away from a lawyer's letterhead.

    (2) Schedule an appointment with your daughter's teacher.

    (3) The day of the appointment mail a copy of the list via REGISTERED MAIL to the prinicipal of the school. The letter should include a summary paragraph that introduces the numbered list. After the numbered list you should state:

    (a) The teacher's behavior and attitude is unacceptable and unprofessional,

    (b) That the teacher needs to be counseled,

    (c) That even a single negative occurrence happens for the rest of the school year that you and your husband will file a formal complaint with the Superintendent of the school board and the school's PTA (bad publicity at the local level and the Ivory Tower, not good!), and that you wish for your daughter to be transferred into a civilized classroom.

    (d) That you are meeting with other parent's of the children of the gifted program to determine if the teacher's issue is solely with your daughter or directed at gifted children as a whole (this will scare the hell out of them as it could boil into a class action lawsuit if they screw up),

    (e) That you request a statement from the principal that details his opinion on the matter and his intended course of action within 5 business days.

    (4) Mail a similar copy of this letter to the teacher via REGISTERED MAIL.

    (5) DURING the CONFERENCE: I am of the belief that there is only one way to handle conflict, and that is HEAD-ON. I have never been one to start fights, but I have finished a few. It is my opinion that this matter has gone too far already, and that your husband's presence at the conference would be very useful. It would show that you are united as a couple and both concerned about this matter, and it will leave no doubt in her mind that if she does screw up again there is a 100% chance that the District will be hearing from your family, and maybe even an attorney.

    You do not need to worry, nor does your daughter, that Dad will embarass her by meeting with the teacher, and the prinipal if necessary. A Father's role is to provide for and to protect his children. There are times when it is necessary for the dysfunctional people of the world to realize that they have angered a lion by messing with one of his cubs, and that the lion is hungry, and that if they don't slither back under the rock from which they came from and amend their ways, that the lion will eat them alive, and suck the marrow out of their bones for dessert.

    I was placed ina gifted program in third grade. Before I was placed in the program my mean, ignorant, and disgusting teacher tried to place me in a remedial social studies class to get me out of her classroom. After two days of that the LD teacher took me aside and asked me what was going on. I told him I was bored out of my mind. He told me he understood and walked me down the hall to the GT classroom. That hour of time a few days per week saved me. And, it let my teacher's supervisor what a buffoon she was, because she sent a smart kid to learning challenged classroom in order to get rid of him.

    There is nothing I hate more than the nasty type of people who feel big when they pick on children. They disgust me.

    Please let me know what you think of my strategy whenever you have a moment to spare. Good luck in resolving this!

    -Halla
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  9. #9
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,134

    Default

    Obviously, the teacher's behaviour is out of line. If it seems like this behaviour is directed at gifted children though, I think there may be some reasons for this that are not immediately apparent to everyone. There has been a huge move towards integration in classrooms in the last years. Teachers are expected to handle huge classes, including people with an extreme range of needs. People with special behaviour and academic needs that previously would have had their own program within the school or their own aide within the classroom now are part of the general classroom. Teachers are expected to modify teaching styles and assignments to accommodate everyone. Many kids are also much less teachable that they were a few years ago and come with much more serious behavioural and emotional issues. The teacher could be reacting to the school's demands, more than it being an issue with your daughter personally. If your daughter is an NT type of kid that tends to question things, or a gifted child who is likely to get bored in class much quicker and express it in some way, she's going to become more of a target for that frustration more than some of the other gifted kids.

    It's also possible that she is an SJ who sees the time out of the classroom that the gifted kids have (or her reading in class etc) as being allowed to take the easy way out, or jumping over stuff that they should have to do. (I don't know, but I know for some this is an issue).

    This could be insecurity and she feels on shaky ground trying to provide an effective program for a gifted student who may challenge her on what she knows. She's trying to preserve her appearance of authority in front of the class.

    I would suggest you would make much more progress by talking to the teacher as if you are on the same side. Empathize with her situation. Tell her how your daughter is perceiving what has happened in class and give the teacher a chance to talk. Explain how it is impacting your home and how your husband feels. You will come off as much more credible if you are willing to approach her first, rather than going directly to the principal. I would not suggest talking to her with your husband, as she is going to feel ambushed and defensive, particularly if your husband is upset. If you can find out what it is that is at the root of this (even finding out what attitudes the teacher believes your daughter holds) you have some ideas for what course of action will be most appropriate.

    You must remember that your child is going to likely need to finish up the semester with this teacher. Being unnecessarily confrontational is likely to burn bridges for your daughter! Not only that, but even if you successfully change classes, teachers do talk to each other and your family may (unfairly) gain a reputation for being difficult. Obviously, if your daughter isn't doing anything wrong and she doesn't have a chance to be successful in class, something needs to change. When you are trying to talk to someone though, always keep in mind the solution you want (and come with several proposals of what could work), rather than putting someone in their place (even if they deserve it!).

    Do keep clear written notes of what you have done as well as what has occurred in class, so that you have some record should you need to deal with this at a higher level.

    In the meantime, talk to your daughter about what kinds of dynamics she sees going on in the classroom. Who else is taking up the teacher's attention? Are there any things your daughter could be doing to help the situation? Is there anything happening that could be exacerbating it?

  10. #10
    Senior Member ubiquitous1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    172

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Wow. Her behavior is completely unacceptable.
    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    She should not even be an educator.

    I have dealt with a few crap teachers at this point, and put them in their place. These type of nasty people make you appreciate the many good teachers in school systems, but unfortunately hurtful people can do alot of damage quickly, especially to a young child, and that is why my course of action would be the following:

    (1) Document the list of incidents you have had with this woman in a numbered list, with dates, and clear and concise details. Use nice parchment, I always like Executive weight paper in an ivory or beige color, as it is one step away from a lawyer's letterhead.

    (2) Schedule an appointment with your daughter's teacher.

    (3) The day of the appointment mail a copy of the list via REGISTERED MAIL to the prinicipal of the school. The letter should include a summary paragraph that introduces the numbered list. After the numbered list you should state:

    (a) The teacher's behavior and attitude is unacceptable and unprofessional,

    (b) That the teacher needs to be counseled,

    (c) That even a single negative occurrence happens for the rest of the school year that you and your husband will file a formal complaint with the Superintendent of the school board and the school's PTA (bad publicity at the local level and the Ivory Tower, not good!), and that you wish for your daughter to be transferred into a civilized classroom.

    (d) That you are meeting with other parent's of the children of the gifted program to determine if the teacher's issue is solely with your daughter or directed at gifted children as a whole (this will scare the hell out of them as it could boil into a class action lawsuit if they screw up),

    (e) That you request a statement from the principal that details his opinion on the matter and his intended course of action within 5 business days.

    (4) Mail a similar copy of this letter to the teacher via REGISTERED MAIL.

    (5) DURING the CONFERENCE: I am of the belief that there is only one way to handle conflict, and that is HEAD-ON. I have never been one to start fights, but I have finished a few. It is my opinion that this matter has gone too far already, and that your husband's presence at the conference would be very useful. It would show that you are united as a couple and both concerned about this matter, and it will leave no doubt in her mind that if she does screw up again there is a 100% chance that the District will be hearing from your family, and maybe even an attorney.

    You do not need to worry, nor does your daughter, that Dad will embarass her by meeting with the teacher, and the prinipal if necessary. A Father's role is to provide for and to protect his children. There are times when it is necessary for the dysfunctional people of the world to realize that they have angered a lion by messing with one of his cubs, and that the lion is hungry, and that if they don't slither back under the rock from which they came from and amend their ways, that the lion will eat them alive, and suck the marrow out of their bones for dessert.

    I was placed ina gifted program in third grade. Before I was placed in the program my mean, ignorant, and disgusting teacher tried to place me in a remedial social studies class to get me out of her classroom. After two days of that the LD teacher took me aside and asked me what was going on. I told him I was bored out of my mind. He told me he understood and walked me down the hall to the GT classroom. That hour of time a few days per week saved me. And, it let my teacher's supervisor what a buffoon she was, because she sent a smart kid to learning challenged classroom in order to get rid of him.

    There is nothing I hate more than the nasty type of people who feel big when they pick on children. They disgust me.

    Please let me know what you think of my strategy whenever you have a moment to spare. Good luck in resolving this!

    -Halla
    I like the xstp head-on strategy! I probably should go in with my husband, but I feel like I am bringing a weapon with me . I don't want her to feel intimidated; however I cannot continue to deal with this woman alone. I have never met someone who has acted this way towards me with no apparent reason. I will put together a list this weekend. Parent teacher conferences will be held soon and we will take the opportunity to address her then.
    I would love for my daughter to be removed from this class, but if this were to happen all of her teachers would have to be changed also. The teachers work in groups. So, moving her from all her friends might be worse for her than this current situation.

    Thank you !


    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Obviously, the teacher's behaviour is out of line. If it seems like this behaviour is directed at gifted children though, I think there may be some reasons for this that are not immediately apparent to everyone. There has been a huge move towards integration in classrooms in the last years. Teachers are expected to handle huge classes, including people with an extreme range of needs. People with special behaviour and academic needs that previously would have had their own program within the school or their own aide within the classroom now are part of the general classroom. Teachers are expected to modify teaching styles and assignments to accommodate everyone. Many kids are also much less teachable that they were a few years ago and come with much more serious behavioural and emotional issues. The teacher could be reacting to the school's demands, more than it being an issue with your daughter personally. If your daughter is an NT type of kid that tends to question things, or a gifted child who is likely to get bored in class much quicker and express it in some way, she's going to become more of a target for that frustration more than some of the other gifted kids.
    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post

    It's also possible that she is an SJ who sees the time out of the classroom that the gifted kids have (or her reading in class etc) as being allowed to take the easy way out, or jumping over stuff that they should have to do. (I don't know, but I know for some this is an issue).

    This could be insecurity and she feels on shaky ground trying to provide an effective program for a gifted student who may challenge her on what she knows. She's trying to preserve her appearance of authority in front of the class.

    I would suggest you would make much more progress by talking to the teacher as if you are on the same side. Empathize with her situation. Tell her how your daughter is perceiving what has happened in class and give the teacher a chance to talk. Explain how it is impacting your home and how your husband feels. You will come off as much more credible if you are willing to approach her first, rather than going directly to the principal. I would not suggest talking to her with your husband, as she is going to feel ambushed and defensive, particularly if your husband is upset. If you can find out what it is that is at the root of this (even finding out what attitudes the teacher believes your daughter holds) you have some ideas for what course of action will be most appropriate.

    You must remember that your child is going to likely need to finish up the semester with this teacher. Being unnecessarily confrontational is likely to burn bridges for your daughter! Not only that, but even if you successfully change classes, teachers do talk to each other and your family may (unfairly) gain a reputation for being difficult. Obviously, if your daughter isn't doing anything wrong and she doesn't have a chance to be successful in class, something needs to change. When you are trying to talk to someone though, always keep in mind the solution you want (and come with several proposals of what could work), rather than putting someone in their place (even if they deserve it!).

    Do keep clear written notes of what you have done as well as what has occurred in class, so that you have some record should you need to deal with this at a higher level.

    In the meantime, talk to your daughter about what kinds of dynamics she sees going on in the classroom. Who else is taking up the teacher's attention? Are there any things your daughter could be doing to help the situation? Is there anything happening that could be exacerbating it?
    I understand everything that you say and I have thought of many of these reasons myself. I feel like I have tried to be understanding and supportive of her complaints. During our initial meeting I tried to convey that I supported her position and would talk to my child about her behavior in class. However, this did not calm her down, and for the duration of the meeting her posturing was aggressive. I usually try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but in every subsequent encounter she has continued with this posturing. I am no good at dealing with people like her. I feel if I continue to deal with her alone then nothing will get resolved because I deal with problems two ways, one is to be understanding and the other is to be confrontational. I do remedy #1 well however, when I am forced to be confrontational I lose all tact and I can be quite nasty, and this definitely will not help.
    I am really not worried about how the school system views me or our family. She is the 3rd of our children to go though this system and we have never had any issues.
    I do agree with you that the issue may lie with the "gifted" children in general, instead of just my daughter. While speaking with my daughter last night she said that the teacher will make "unnecessary comments" toward the "gifted" children and is more lenient with the other children.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Everything you wrote mirrors the mental process that I have gone through.Unfortunately we are not dealing with a reasonable person. Too bad everybody doesn’t think like INFJs, and then the world would be perfect!

Similar Threads

  1. 'Hot for Teacher' Essay Gets University Student Escorted Off Campus & Suspended
    By iwakar in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 130
    Last Post: 03-29-2013, 07:32 PM
  2. Palin not ready for interviews, but ready for the vice presidency?
    By ajblaise in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 09-07-2008, 10:54 AM
  3. Type suited & not suited for running a business?
    By niki in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 08-22-2008, 04:47 AM
  4. Why I'm not voting for McCain
    By nightwatcher in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 06-09-2008, 03:15 PM
  5. are most "P" not suited for office jobs?
    By niki in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 11-03-2007, 10:39 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO