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  1. #1

    Default Massaging my boss

    Well, I'm not sure what to make of my situation.

    I was recently hired as a personal assistant after over a year of unsuccessfully searching for a job.

    My boss mentioned from the very beginning that he's had various leg injuries so he's been receiving massages 7 years now from the assistants he's had. He presented the massaging portion of the job as an option, though, the main duties being filing, light cleaning, and general organizing. So I said yes to that portion of the job, eager to secure the job (and seeing no real problem with it).

    So up until recently we'd only communicated with each other through email and over the phone. Today we met in person as a sort of interview to ensure that we were certain we wanted to work together. We met at Starbucks and then went on to the room he rents, in which he has his office. Anyways, I agreed to the massaging and we went through with it. He was very nice about it and kept making sure I was comfortable with it.

    But it wasn't until today that I realized it was a full body massage... which is customarily done in the nude. And I have to admit it was a tiny bit shocking seeing this person I'd just met naked, let alone touching him in that state.

    Well, I like to think of myself as quite open-minded. But for some reason I didn't feel as comfortable as I wanted to. I had thoughts of: 'What is my boyfriend going to think', 'or my friends', 'Is this wrong', 'is it my prudish upbringing'.. etc.

    So I really don't know how I feel about it. It just seems so foreign and potentially taboo that it's confusing me. I think there's nothing wrong with it in theory, so I don't know what the problem is.

    Maybe I'm just too concerned with how others would view it. Even though I don't believe that should necessarily be a determining factor.

    Anyways, thoughts? reprimands? Perspective please?
    We always have a choice.

  2. #2
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    What others think, doesn't matter. Look inside. How does the situation *feel* to you?
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  3. #3
    AKA Nunki Polaris's Avatar
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    What on earth did he do to get multiple leg injuries? Why would a leg injury require him to strip down naked and get a full-body massage? It sounds very strange to me, to say the least, and I wouldn't get involved with it if I were you. Too many creepy possibilities.
    [ Ni > Ti > Fe > Fi > Ne > Te > Si > Se ][ 4w5 sp/sx ][ RLOAI ][ IEI-Ni ]

  4. #4

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    What others think, doesn't matter. Look inside. How does the situation *feel* to you?
    You're right, of course. Well it feels like it's very normal for him and for me it's not very normal.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nunki View Post
    What on earth did he do to get multiple leg injuries? Why would a leg injury require him to strip down naked and get a full-body massage? It sounds very strange to me, to say the least, and I wouldn't get involved with it if I were you. Too many creepy possibilities.
    Athletic over-exhaustion, two accidents while traveling.. it seems his body structure is the cause of the predisposition. Well, he works a 60+ hour week, it's also for relaxation.

    I'm considering telling him I just want the regular tasks and that I'm just not entirely comfortable with the massage. But I still can't explain to myself why it feels strange to me. Maybe somewhere like Sweden it would feel much more normal heh.
    We always have a choice.

  5. #5
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Find the reason
    Is it just that you don't like the idea in general or is he giving off a vibe you don't trust?

    And if you don't like the idea in general, could it be just because you don't know him well enough yet? Could you see yourself doing it for a friend? Is it perhaps possible to ask him to meet up a couple of times more to get to know him, to make you comfortable with it? For him too, it might be nice to get to know the person who is going to be touching him

    For that matter, are you a trained masseuse? How is it that he wants you to do this if you are not? And if you are, why is this something you're uncomfortable with?
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #6
    HAHHAHHAH! INTJ123's Avatar
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    Is he married/single? You should probably just tell him you don't want to do it, doing office work and giving massages sounds like a weird mix of job requirements to me.

  7. #7
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    If you are a masseuse or qualified in some related area then it's understandable and you simply need to work out if you're comfortable with it. If however your skills are in PAing then... Wow! That sounds soooooooooo wrong and completely unprofessional. Do not put yourself in a position where you are alone with this man.

    If he needs massages for physical therapy then he'd get them from someone who is qualified not a PA on his staff. All sorts of flashing warning lights should be going off.

  8. #8
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by little.bad.apple View Post
    ...Maybe somewhere like Sweden it would feel much more normal heh.
    Haha, no. It wouldn't be normal here in Sweden, either.
    Swedish work ethic would probably make us do it until/if something of sexual nature occured, and then file a lawsuit against the bastard.
    If it's nothing sexual at all, and he's not a pervert who loves to be surrounded by nice INFP women touching his body...

    Hey wait, that stuff doesn't sound half-bad, actually

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  9. #9
    Branded with Satan murkrow's Avatar
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    Shit is fucked up.

    He should be using a professional masseuse.

    What would your boyfriend think? Probably that this guy is a fucking cunt expecting too much of female employees who are desperate for employment.

    You can meditate on how much you need the position and how much it bothers you to do this.

    also the pay had better be great.

    urgh... he should have a male assistant if he's gonna pull this shit.
    wails from the crypt.

  10. #10
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Uhm. It doesn't sound any good (for you. For him it sounds pretty good, but that's not the point).
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

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