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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grayscale View Post
    someone I know brought up something obvious when I mentioned this to them... this guy is probably not a pervert, he's just cheap (eg, why have a professional masseuse come in at $50+/hr when your employee can do it for $15/hr)--although an unappealing that is not so morally wrong. also, even if the chances of him being a sex offender in the making are slim, it is entirely likely that she could face legal implications if she were to injure him due to lack of proper training. that on the other hand makes opting out as she did a reasonable choice imo.
    I didn't say he was a sex offender. Plenty of men hire escorts and they aren't "sex offenders."

    He's cheap - you're right. He wants an escort for the price of a "personal assistant."

    She told him she didn't want to give the massages, and now the job is over. So the argument is also over, anyway.

  2. #92
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    The wording was a little confusing, but she did say he was nude:
    I'm still not sure that is saying he is nude. Thanks for trying to help clarify.

  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    I'm still not sure that is saying he is nude. Thanks for trying to help clarify.
    She said she was shocked to see him naked. Therefore, he was naked.

  4. #94

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I thought of that, too--it IS possible he could be just cheap. But it seems if he were just cheap and needed massage on his leg, that perhaps he'd just have her massage the leg, with him wearing a pair of shorts or something.

    If he's just doing it to be cheap, though, he's not very smart--if she (or anyone else) sued him for sexual harrassment, he could be paying a lot more in the long run. I would think that appearing naked in front of your assistant and asking her to massage you would be a pretty solid case for sexual harrassment, no matter what his actual intentions were.
    Of course, he's saving hundreds.. without taking into account the probable lawsuit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Didn't she says its a massage normally done in the nude? Not that he was nude?
    Ohh, it was a fully body massage supposedly to also alleviate stress from his massive workweek. And I know it's common for full body massages to be in the nude.. not to say it is/should be the norm.
    We always have a choice.

  5. #95
    Senior Member Grayscale's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I didn't say he was a sex offender. Plenty of men hire escorts and they aren't "sex offenders."

    He's cheap - you're right. He wants an escort for the price of a "personal assistant."

    She told him she didn't want to give the massages, and now the job is over. So the argument is also over, anyway.
    Hehehe... I know I'm making a huge fuss, but someone's gotta stand up for the [potentially] innocent cause he aint here to give his side of the story.

    This has been another lesson on why feminine intelligence deserves more recognition than men often give it. Just cause y'all go bonkers once a month doesnt mean we should throw the baby out with the bathwater. Too bad this guy doesn't have a wife, she probably would have set his expectations straight.

  6. #96
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by little.bad.apple View Post
    Ohh, it was a fully body massage supposedly to also alleviate stress from his massive workweek. And I know it's common for full body massages to be in the nude.. not to say it is/should be the norm.
    So he was or wasn't nude? Sorry, I'm just trying to understand.

    I got the feeling that what he showed her he wanted done was full body massage, and she later realized that it might mean in the nude. Why else the "I didn't realize until today" - I'm sure she knew if it was nude that day.

  7. #97
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grayscale View Post
    Too bad this guy doesn't have a wife, she probably would have set his expectations straight.
    I really hope he doesn't have a wife.

    Considering that he may be concerned with saving money, if he did have a wife he could probably get his unprofessional massages from her for free.

  8. #98
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    I feel pretty much the same way Tewt does. I don't think a personal assistant should be massaging their boss while he's naked. But, that's my opinion.
    A hero is someone who does the right thing without expectation of reward, just because it's the right thing to do.

  9. #99
    Junior Member MinervaSSS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Why should she blame her boyfriend? Is this to spare his feelings? To give the impression that if she was single it would be ok? That she isn't strong enough to make her own decisions?

    Honestly I don't understand this suggestion nor do I understand why people suggest it's the best way out. There are times to play innocent and suggest someone else is the reason something can't happen but not this, how would that establish boundaries? If he's looking for ways to get her to do something she's not comfortable with knowing she's too insecure in herself to be blunt or worries too much about offending him to say she's uncomfortable means he can figure out how to manipulate her, and rather easily.

    Besides, she's already stated there's no issue with telling him she doesn't want to do it without needing an excuse.

    You are right - that is only a way to sidestep the real issue at hand, and conflict avoidance. Best way is to address the issue directly.

  10. #100
    Junior Member MinervaSSS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by little.bad.apple View Post
    So I emailed him this.

    "Hi, Mr. _________.
    Well, I'm sorry for not bringing it up before, but after thinking about it I have to say I'm not entirely comfortable with the massage part of the job. I am still more than willing to do all the other tasks though. But I understand if you want to keep looking for someone who can do both jobs, I know it is very convenient to have just one employee. So no hard feelings either way, and thanks for the opportunity."

    I sent this in the morning and later today realized there is no way I should still be working for him, even if it would just be the office work. Actually, it took discussing it with my boyfriend to see just how potentially dangerous the situation would be. My idealized way of looking at it was 'If he didn't attempt to cause harm the first time when he had the chance (because we were alone), why would he do it later on..'

    Anyways, he said that yes, he is going to keep looking for someone who will do both "since that's much easier" for him. So I'm glad that's over.

    So thanks everyone for the perspective. I guess it's situations like this that call immediate attention to a self-assessment.

    Hey lilbadapple - glad the situation worked out for you the way it did - you are too kind, and luckily, he decided to exploit another young thing. I hope you find a good job with a boss that's not a total creep-despot-Mr/Ms important, and who has a shred of integrity!

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