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  1. #11
    Senior Member Sacrator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by run View Post
    Is it better for a kid to get yelled at, and better for another to have a different approach? It may be subjective. If it is, then we'd have to say that a teacher would have to just choose somewhere along the spectrum of niceness, and inevitably not get through to every single kid.
    I think there is something called the behavioral theory something idk i cant remember but its proven that if you praise kids for the good things they do and ignore the bad things they do the bad behavior will start to disappear. Also the kids well being will improve from all the positive attention their getting.
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  2. #12
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Haven't fully grasped the thread however I'd think the right approach is getting children used to different approaches in a comfortable manner. While some children benefit more from praises, to continously do this will shelter them from the more harsher conditions of some people. There was an INTP on the other forum that advocated making the students fail in something major so that develop the ability to move on. Balance seems to be the most effective way, and for me... I'd say the correct way of managing things with such a diverse group.

    The value of feelings reminds me of the whole T/F debates that are shown up here. Are feelings rational or not? All I know is that my feelings are what created my ethical models as there's no reason to follow moral codes without the feeling component. What's the incentive? You already mentioned it being abit of an oxymoron though.

    the A way -- care about people's feelings. My therapist, once, when his daughter came home 4 hours late, said "I'm so angry at you, I'll talk to you in the morning." He advocates "respectfully reaming someone out". I'm curious what this means.
    I've no idea what he means as well. Perhaps he's talking about talking to his daughter calmly in the morning. But the whole reaming idea sounds rather passive aggresive, punishment through guilt...

  3. #13
    Senior Member Liminality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kai View Post
    I've no idea what he means as well. Perhaps he's talking about talking to his daughter calmly in the morning. But the whole reaming idea sounds rather passive aggresive, punishment through guilt...
    Funny how interpretation can differ, sound like he's being conflict avoidant - ie doesn't want to deal with intense emotions of any sort, to me.

    I agree that balance is key, it's like with music, you push one kid into exams and they excell, you push another and they never touch the instrument again.

    On one hand one needs to engage and sympathise with students, on the other, babying them is not a good thing.


    Consistency and evidence of control are good too.

    It's like being a good parent, my mum said the best advice she was given was:

    'What ever you do, do it with love(Feeling) and consistency(Thinking)' True love means a parent can do the tough love(thinkingfeeling, rationalizing that a disciplined approach is benificial/more effective, feeling enough care for the child to know they'll be happier in the long run with discipline) thing as well as sweet, happy happy joy joy, affirmating love.
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  4. #14
    Member ilovetrannies's Avatar
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    OP, I've had some great teachers and some horrible ones who treated me like shit. I believe that they were disrespectful to me and unfeeling. Almost like a sociopath would. If teachers cannot treat others like a decent human being, they need to find another job.

    Teachers are not there to be disciplinarians, that is what the principle, vice principle and counselors are there for. Children with bad behaviors aren't going to listen or care, so its really not the teachers problem. I have two aunts, my uncle and grandmother, are all teachers, so I should know.

    Also, teachers have no business treating children with ADD or with learning disabilities, LIKE ME, shitty either. To this very day, those awful teachers still make me upset. So, yeah, their behavior will affect those people growing up and needs to be taken seriously.

  5. #15
    Senior Member run's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ilovetrannies View Post
    OP, I've had some great teachers and some horrible ones who treated me like shit. I believe that they were disrespectful to me and unfeeling. Almost like a sociopath would. If teachers cannot treat others like a decent human being, they need to find another job.

    Teachers are not there to be disciplinarians, that is what the principle, vice principle and counselors are there for. Children with bad behaviors aren't going to listen or care, so its really not the teachers problem. I have two aunts, my uncle and grandmother, are all teachers, so I should know.

    Also, teachers have no business treating children with ADD or with learning disabilities, LIKE ME, shitty either. To this very day, those awful teachers still make me upset. So, yeah, their behavior will affect those people growing up and needs to be taken seriously.
    to send them to the counselor would be to give up on the student.

  6. #16
    Member ilovetrannies's Avatar
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    Tough. Fuck the student. I don't care. They have work to do, which means spending more time teaching and not discipline.

  7. #17
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    As usual, I'm a fan of the C way. IMO and IME different kids respond to different approaches. Some kids are approval-seekers and being punative with them can cause them to shut down or hate you and decide you're not worth respecting. Others are line-pushers and need a firmer approach. And there are many shades in between.
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  8. #18
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    I tend to think a student's character and personality is moldable. The teachers are supposed to help mold them into a beautiful thing. The essence of what molds them is there knack to say 'why' which adults have long forgotten. They will not ask 'why' if you don't adhere to what makes them happy. Also give the right answer to that 'why' and you have just changed a part of them to the better.

  9. #19
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    a teacher spends more time during a day with a child than his own parent does. if i were a teacher in a school, i would strive to help each student learn as much as possible in an environment of congenial stimulation. to achieve this environment, i would understand that some children have a greater need for attention (exhibited by excessive acting-out), some a need for more physical activity (have a harder time sitting still), and some to need step-by-step help with math.

    i was a kid in the first category and i still remember a teacher of mine in or around intermediate school taking me outside her classroom and having a 5-10minute respectful discussion with me about the inappropriateness of my behavior (i had had many minor behavior probs in the past). i distinctly remember obtaining consciousness about my bad behavior and i walked back into that classroom a new person, essentially, and never acted out in her class (nor any other) again. she simply paid attention to me in that moment, and that was all i evidently needed.

    teachers have time to focus on kids if they want to. i think as behavior probs get worse in our society, and as the family continues to not provide children with all that they need to thrive, teachers need to wear many hats. and we need to have lesser students per teacher, so teachers can really be effective.
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  10. #20
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by run View Post
    to send them to the counselor would be to give up on the student.
    To send them to the counselor is to acknowledge that a single person isn't always capable of handling everything. It's not giving up on a student if the teacher truly wants to help them out. So if the resource is there, you might as well use it.

    The issue of pride can slip in here. "I can handle it" which is dangerous (well not really) in teaching.

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