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  1. #1
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Default Seeking only those experienced with A.D.D.

    This is a question related to work, but first I have a son that has A.D.D. not A.D.H.D. He will be 16 in few days. Well now that summer is here, he wants to get a summer job.

    He is a really good kid. He never gets into any trouble. Tries to please his teachers and others. Does his chores without having to be told and is very loving.

    Here's the problem, yesterday he went with a friend from school to go job hunting. So one of the asked him to come back tomorrow. So anyhow today he went to the small grocery store. They guy there kept him for a very short time and told him he has no talent, so they can't hire him.

    My son has problems with communicating. Sometimes I ask him a question and it is like . He may not respond. I remember one time he came out with a broken front tooth. It took him 3 days before he told me he walked into a pole he hadn't seen. There are problems with math and mental calculations, meaning if I give him 10 L.E. (Egyptian pounds) and something costs 6.50. He won't count up or subtract. I have tried showing him, persuading him. My husband has also talked, showed, persuaded and just got down right demanding on him to pay attention to the change, do the math. Well he never showed an interest nor tried. He just hands us the change, without counting or looking. Luckily the people in the stores around here are honest.

    Another thing cleanliness. I have talked to him, demanded him to shower and change daily. I don't know if it is a teenage thing or an A.D.D. thing or both.

    I feel angry that the guy told him he has no talent. I told my son that what he meant was talent in counting and communication.

    What summer type of job could he get? I hate for him to feel this way.

    On a side note his younger brother got a side job, at a Playstation cafe. He has had this job since school let out. It's not really busy so he gets to play games in his spare time. He helps hook up things or in the kitchen, just doing various things where ever they want him.

    Anyhow I'm thinking this experience just may show him the need to pay attention and do calculations. It is not like I have not tried, it is his abilities. My 3 and a half year old can count, recognize very simple take away problems with things of course not with numbers yet and my other two knew how much they were supposed to get back by the time they were in second grade. I have always given them some pocket money and when they go to buy things they want to know how much they will have left. So in addition to school they had an incentive to learn mental calculation and quick.

    If anyone has A.D.D. or has experience dealing with it, pointers are needed. BTW he is in a special school not in a typical language school.

    Well there is one good thing. I told him to take a shower and I will go out with him later to look into a summer job, working in a restaurant or something. I might just end up taking him and my daughter window shopping downtown. Since I haven't been out of the house myself in weeks.
    Johari / Nohari

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  2. #2
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Those sound like pretty typical issues for a teenage boy, and nothing to do with "ADD." My 10-year-old son would certainly meet all the "symptoms" of such a thing, but I have no need for him to be labeled that way.

    Anyway, I don't know anything about your environment. Are there fast food jobs? Or yardwork or something like that? Those are pretty typical jobs for teenage boys around here.
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  3. #3
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Well as stated he is in a special school for children with disabilities. He had a fractured skull when he was born and his father had A.D.D. I found this out years later after we divorced. So with testing, doctors, and various other indicators. I am sure it's much different from being a slow learner.

    That's what I was thinking maybe a restaurant. Fast Food jobs are much harder to come by here for teenagers, but even beyond that is there some way to have a career not based in entry-level positions? Of course, that is fine for now, but how many that have been identified with facing this situation in life have successfully overcame it?
    Johari / Nohari

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  4. #4
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I was diagnosed with ADD as my brother was diagnosed with ADHD. He questioned the diagnosis originally, and I didn't until I learned about MBTI. With that said, I had attention problems in school - I had problems taking teenage jobs seriously until I was fired from one. I have no learning disabilities or anything like that.

    Either I don't have ADD (I am starting to think what I think Jeff does about it - at least in my context) or your son has other issues.

    It really does sound normal to me.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    I think that the most important thing is to never ever let yourself or your son be guided by the diagnosis of ADD. Don't make decisions about him with the thought that it would be best "because he has ADD". It may be my NT speaking but if you let yourself guide by feelings of concern for him you will only see the most pessimistic scenarios and even worse project that on your son.

    On the other hand, is your son interested in anything. Does he like nature perhaps, if so, then why not see if you can get him a job as an assistant ranger or something. Or perhaps he likes sports, then why not let him become concierge at a sports club or something like that. Look for his unique capabilities, talk about what he wants and THEN decide what would be in his best interest.

  6. #6
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    I was diagnosed with ADD as my brother was diagnosed with ADHD. He questioned the diagnosis originally, and I didn't until I learned about MBTI. With that said, I had attention problems in school - I had problems taking teenage jobs seriously until I was fired from one. I have no learning disabilities or anything like that.

    Either I don't have ADD (I am starting to think what I think Jeff does about it - at least in my context) or your son has other issues.

    It really does sound normal to me.
    Yes, I would have to agree that you don't seem to have A.D.D. your writing is fluent and following your train of thought is very easy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shimmy View Post
    I think that the most important thing is to never ever let yourself or your son be guided by the diagnosis of ADD. Don't make decisions about him with the thought that it would be best "because he has ADD". It may be my NT speaking but if you let yourself guide by feelings of concern for him you will only see the most pessimistic scenarios and even worse project that on your son.

    On the other hand, is your son interested in anything. Does he like nature perhaps, if so, then why not see if you can get him a job as an assistant ranger or something. Or perhaps he likes sports, then why not let him become concierge at a sports club or something like that. Look for his unique capabilities, talk about what he wants and THEN decide what would be in his best interest.
    Thanks Shimmy, that is true that I don't want to project a negative image onto him. I love those ideas plus they don't use the same set of skills. Thanks
    Johari / Nohari

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  7. #7
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shimmy View Post
    I think that the most important thing is to never ever let yourself or your son be guided by the diagnosis of ADD. Don't make decisions about him with the thought that it would be best "because he has ADD". It may be my NT speaking but if you let yourself guide by feelings of concern for him you will only see the most pessimistic scenarios and even worse project that on your son.

    On the other hand, is your son interested in anything. Does he like nature perhaps, if so, then why not see if you can get him a job as an assistant ranger or something. Or perhaps he likes sports, then why not let him become concierge at a sports club or something like that. Look for his unique capabilities, talk about what he wants and THEN decide what would be in his best interest.
    +1

    My son has O.D.D and also goes to a special school. He is almost 11 and only just up to speed on reading basic books, which for me was quite saddening since he was my first child and I had wanted so much to give to him my love of books.

    The thing I love about the school he goes to is that whilst they are trying to get the childrens weaknesses, be it in maths or english, up to standard, they are also on the look out for a natural talent in different areas so that they can push them harder on those.

    My son is behind in reading, but he is in the advanced class for maths (2 yrs above his level), he is behind in history, but advanced on computers, so they have hired a special teacher who knows a whole lot more about building pc's from scratch so that my son can learn some amazing skills without feeling that he is below everyone else.

    He has much better self esteem since he started this school, because they really focus on finding each childs particular strengths, without making them feel bad about the places that they aren't so strong in.
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  8. #8
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    A.D.D. has little to do with coherence or intelligence except in the most extreme circumstances so it's not something we can gauge from an online forum. In my understanding, mild A.D.D. symptoms are also displayed to an extent in many people without A.D.D. Problems with distraction are not unique to people with A.D.D. but it is the extent to which these problems are debilitating or obstructing one's functioning that usually informs the diagnosis and what can be done about it. It is also associated with other specific mental patterns related to memory that help make the diagnosis.

    From reading the OP, the problems with math don't seem related to A.D.D. directly. It's different if the problems with distraction are preventing your son from learning these skills - this may be the case if he really doesn't enjoy it or the way these things are taught. Maybe he's become more self-conscious about it since it seems like it's been pointed out to him that he lacks these skills. A.D.D. does not equal lack of learning -- motivation when you enjoy something does actually override the distraction. It's usually when you associate negative thoughts with a task that people with A.D.D. will have trouble just 'doing it' like everyone else.

    It sounds more like a different kind of learning disability - I'm not informed enough to know what that may be. Were there tests done for things other than A.D.D.? What did they show?

  9. #9
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Well when I was in the states they had him seeing a physical and a speech therapist at The Children's Hospital. It was named the best children's hospital in the states if not the world.

    Anyhow coming to Egypt I tried to get him into a regular school and they requested tests to be done to determine where to place him. They noticed certain characteristics, said they couldn't put him into a regular school (education system is different in Egypt), but that I could place him in a private school or a school under the department of social services.

    I chose to go with D.S.S. as they also gave him a more rounded education, also assisting in living skills. How to do things many of us take for granted, brushing teeth and hair, folding clothes, making simple things like popcorn, washing dishes, etc. The program they have set up for him is also tailored to his strengths and weaknesses.

    He is very happy there, most of the behavioral issues I had when he was young they helped to work them out. Most of the teachers there are doctors or trained staff in how to handle children with special needs. When I go there it is such a positive and loving environment. The school owner has an autistic child and couldn't find schools tailored to the special needs of certain children, so she opened up her own school.

    I haven't spoken to his teachers about him wanting to work, just that it is summertime and living in the city we don't really go anywhere or do much. So it seems better for him to learn some responsibility and helps to build up their self-esteem.

    I took him to school with me, most of my students are 16, he was smaller than all the boys and most of the girls. His sister is 11 and is the same height as he is. Can't say he has stunted growth, maybe he will continue to grow. Important thing is he has normal body proportions.

    I have had many instances of him doing atypical things, like going back and forth to the store 3 or 4 times just for juice. Even with the ad in his hand, he somehow comes back with the wrong type, or forgets the promotional offer, many times he forgets the change, sometimes he returns the unwanted item, if they say they don't have the other type he will leave without the item or the refunded money etc. Sometimes he loses the money; I tell him to keep it in his pocket, but he likes to hold it in his hand. Usually we have to write the list and tell him to ask for help if he doesn't know or understand.

    These are not complaints it's just the way things usually go on a daily basis. It's to be more than expected. Once I gave him my mobile and I had the strong feeling he would lose it, but he wanted to go to his friend's house that lived quite far from where we lived and I wanted to make sure he got there safe. Well what do you know he had no clue he lost my mobile. Came home and looked at me like when I asked for my mobile back. Thankfully when we called a guy answered and said he had found the mobile. We arraigned to have it picked up the next day. I cannot expect anything different for I would be angry if I did. It is just something that happens and we try to work through it with him.

    I do worry that he will never be able to live on his own. I am grateful that he can dress, wash, eat, and go places on his own. So it is not so bad. For all the things he can't do, he has so many other positive attributes. The best of which is he is loving.
    Johari / Nohari

    Enneagram 1w2/Lifepath 1/first zodiac sign Aries/first Chinese zodiac sign RAT/first born in my siblings of 3. Did I forget to mention first?

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  10. #10
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Diagnosed with ADHD in 1997 at 14 - unmedicated since age 15.

    I spent most of my teenage years in a paramilitary organization that had summer programs I could go to. The first year was two weeks just to get your feet wet; after that training courses were 6 weeks long. At 16 I was able to start going to camp as staff instead of being in training - those are 7 weeks long. At 17 I didn't go anywhere during the summer and I felt it in both my body and my mind. At 18 I left the organisation so I could prepare for college.

    The summer when I was 18 I started working for a cleaning company as a worker for insurance cleanup (fire/flood damage). It was a decent job with a decent pay for a guy living with his parents still. The hours were also substantial (10-12 hours) so by the time I was done all I wanted to do was have a shower (because I felt damn dirty) and go straight to bed.

    Not sure if this helps, but if it does, great.
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