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Originally Posted by Xander
Oh ideally yes. It's just people get confused when I balance stuff out. I always get asked "so what are you trying to say here?". Hence I gave up. The OP is almost a brain dump and hence unadulterated and without niceties.
Aside from that do you think that when talking about how to get along with a certain type that it helps to have that type present or do you think that it would just be read as an attack and they'd spend most of their time defending?
I'd certainly like the input and granted it may seem like I have a downer on ESTJs but I really don't expect that any would have the time for a forum never mind an analysis of their respective strengths and weaknesses.
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Would you want anyone talking about how to get along with you without consulting you? You know yourself well enough (hopefully) to give people pointers on how to deal with you. And so often we tend to look for things that confirm our notions of how people are supposed to act so anything that runs contrary to what we think gets discarded. So yes, I think we should consult the type in question before we start saying how they're going to act. For example, ask open ended questions and refrain from stating an opinion until the discussion gets going. That's how I operate and it works not all, but most of the time.
As far as the defend/attack thing, I know that I've had to work hard on not being offended about what people say about EFJs which speaks more about how much I've integrated my MBTI type into my identity than other people. If a person doesn't think as their type as part of their identity, then no, I don't think they'd be that offended or they're more capable of shrugging off criticism (valid or invalid).
If they have integrated their type into their identity then unrelenting criticism (constant descriptions of maladaptive behavior) would make them more defensive, especially when they're frantically waving a bright flag and yelling into a bullhorn "That's not me!" and people continue on ignoring them. From personal experience, it gets a
little frustrating.