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It sounds like the situation calls for sending him the clear message that you will never be interested in him romantically, and that you aren't thinking about his personal growth (even if you are.) If he thinks that showing signs of growth is the ticket to winning your love, then he's going to keep feeding you those lines about changing to please you.
At this point, I'd put his inner life on the back burner, because it's only making him think you're more interested in him than you really are. People grow inwardly when they're ready for it, or when life situations are such that they can't ignore their own problems anymore, and if this guy is thinking he can make sweeping changes in his life for the sake of love, then he's not ready for it.
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Thanks, haha yeah I sorta just realised that. (bit late I know
) But point is, I'll just be, as you said, "courteous yet cold". Detached.
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Are you afraid that he will dump you later on?
I notice that you talk about his "commitment issues".
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Yeah, I am afraid of that. But of course that's not the only reason why I'm not going to be with him. Even if he were committed, I don't agree with his values/moral priorities. And basically his personality just doesn't appeal to me romantically.