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Originally Posted by Twixt
Thank you.
It seems to me that I've made the 'NO' clear but I suppose maybe I'm not as obvious as I think.
But just curious, do you think he will really change? He says he means to change with 'all [his] heart'. I know the chance is slim... but do you guys think its completely impossible? And on the off-chance that its possible, how long could it take?
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I have a lot to say to this but there's really only one question you need to ask yourself: "Do I want a romantic relationship with him?" If the answer is no, tell him no. If it's yes, go for it.
And don't tell yourself yes because you think he'll change. I know the offer to change must be pretty enticing to an NF but you either like him for who he is or not at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twixt
And would the rejection completely burn the bridge between us? I'm just thinking about the possibility of us in a work/professional setting together, and I wouldn't want this to hamper our efficiency on a project.
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Can't say about the burnt bridge. I've seen lots of breakups and rejections between all kinds of types and I haven't seen any consistency in this regard.
As for the whole work environment thing, yeah, it probably will affect that. SPs don't take well to rejection so their natural spontaneity (inadvertent disregard for social/professional/business conduct) doesn't bode well for the person they feel they've been scorned by, especially in the case of ESFPs. I've seen some ESFPs do some pretty stupid things after breakups and rejections. A good ESFP friend of mine started sleeping around with his ex's friends just to piss her off (but what she did to him was pretty bad in that case - not that I'm justifying it, just saying you probably don't need to expect that). And a friend of mine recently broke up with an ESFP and now he's calling her day and night just so he can argue with her - and he's the one who dumped her.
Anyway, I know it sucks. You never asked to be in a position like this and it's not fair that you have to break his heart (if you do) but, like it or not, this is the situation you're in and there's a right way and a wrong way to handle it.