Somewhere between 6 and 8 I would say on the whole. In moments of extreme stress and self-analysis, 9.
I understand and relate to all that you've said.
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"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able, and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God."
-Epicurus.
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