Quote:
Originally Posted by ygolo
Either trying to figure out people's type, interacting to help someone figure out type, smoothing out communication and interaction with people--anything informally applicable. Staying away from armchair psychology, but still accurately using typology in an informal manner.
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Okay, I'm going to tackle this from my personal uses so it doesn't sound like I'm lecturing.
- I have the advantage in knowing the types (best-fit) of almost everyone I'm close to or work closely with since the majority of my work involves type. And, my family was willing to be gunea pigs early on as I learned about the theory. I use it all the time to think about how to best communicate and to step into their shoes to see what they might need. For example, our carefree lifestyle really slammed to a halt when our second child was born. No more spontaneous Saturdays. Knowing my husband was ESTP made it easier to not go postal when he arranged for 100-mile bike rides, came back and mowed the lawn, and then slept the rest of the afternoon. I found other ways to get my downtime and let him take Saturdays.
- At work I back up when my messages or ideas aren't received well. Usually I haven't adjusted my style well enough. And it isn't that hard to think through a person's dominant function and reframe my message.
- Parenting. Use The Developing Child by Elizabeth Murphy to figure out a child's type. My kids are night and day and I'm not sure we would have survived their middle school meltdowns if we hadn't understood their idividual pathways to motivation. And, it really helped as our son looked at colleges, almost a neutral lens for talking through his choices and what made sense.
- Personal development. I'm enough aware of my weaknesses that I can often recognize when I'm about to really stress out. I know what mechanisms will snap me out of it. For a seemingly trivial but actually destressing example, my last birthday I had a concrete plan to run a 10k just to prove to myself I still can. It was going to be really hot so I was going to start by about 6:30 am (usually I don't run more than 5k). Woke up around 2 am, couldn't get back to sleep, started obsessing on how my plan wouldn't work if I didn't get back to sleep, which got me really wide awake. Finally turned off my alarm, thinking that I could always do a shot of espresso rather than a more leisurely cup of coffee pre-run,etc...and let go of the plan and it all worked out. But it worked because I realized I was obsessing on my external plan and needed to stop being so INFJ.
When I don't know someone's type for sure...if we really clash I'll start from the assumption that their communication style is close to opposite my own and adjust my style accordingly. I find it's really hard to type people unless I actually work with them, for all four letters that is. Well, book club...after several meetings, seeing the books they like/don't like, their comments, how they host, etc. does it to
If I can figure out the dominant--are they driven by accuracy/common sense/practicality (S), ideas/possibilities/change (N), logic/critique/analysis (T), harmony/inclusiveness/caregiving (F)--then I'm halfway to knowing how best to communicate with them and motivate them...
I think the best resource for developing typewatching skills is
The Art of Speedreading People by the Tiegers. Paul worked on developing the best system possible for doing this because he knew people were doing it anyway!