Quote:
Originally Posted by nolla
Here we come back to the make-up and plastics. So, it isn't all woman thing ("I want to look good for myself") but more like a silent competition of women to get the men? Again a big simplification, but... does most of the low self-esteem among women come from this feeling of not being "beautiful enough" compared to the others?
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Um...apparently I'm the only one on here with self-esteem issues, but this statement certainly applies to me.
I don't think I try to 'look good' for other women. I don't really care what other women think of me. I want to 'look good' for men.
Perhaps I don't think my personality has ever really been appreciated, or recognized, or sought out, in the past, so maybe that's why I put so much emphasis (admittedly wrongly, I know it's an esteem thing but I can't really get rid of it) on my appearance, and like Jennifer wrote earlier, when I feel ugly, I feel completely undesirable and like no one in the world will ever want me.
I'm never going to get plastic surgery, because it just doesn't seem 'right' to me and I want to be liked for who I am. However, at the same time, through growing up and in all sorts of venues (work and extracurricular) I always hear guys talking about 'hot girls', and contrasting them to 'but-her-faces', and I have a hard time really believing that guys don't care that much about a woman's looks (at least in this thread, the guys' responses have been such that a girls appearance isn't that important, and the woman just needs to get more self esteem rather than focus on her appearance. But that's kinda a lie in my opinion. Attraction IS important, and men want to be with attractive women).
Random comment -- say you have a woman in her 20's or 30's with thinning hair, and by her late 30's she very well may need a wig. What say you, men? Is that something a woman can easily slough off and still find tons of suitors who really want her? Obviously looks aren't ultimately important when it comes to a friendship, but I think it's bull that it's crocked up to a simple esteem issue when the reality seems to point towards attraction/desirability being a key factor in the initial pairing and romance. Obviously longevity is going to need a lot more than that though.