Quote:
Originally Posted by alicia91
...every time we hit a rough spot, I would immediately think 'this is it, I'm bailing!' but once I thought it through I remembered my loyalty decision. Over the years it got easier and I'm so glad I stayed. Yet, I admit that I tend to have a "pro and con being married to him" list filed in my brain somewhere and I refer to it at least monthly.
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Exactly. That's why my internal commitment was so important. And, because I've seen where it's gotten easier and I'm glad I stayed, that simply reinforces the decision -- "Yup, this was a good choice." I also have the list in my brain. Mine consists of comparisons. "Yes, hubby and I conflict in this area, but this is trivial compared to the problems I had with ex," and, "Hubby may have this issue, but I'm glad I'm not with that guy over there because I wouldn't last long with all that drama." And, I keep a journal of all the neat things I've experienced in this marriage and hubby once wrote a small book on how he feels about me and there's this write-up hubby showed me when we were dating about loving each other enough to give them freedom. Anytime I start to panic like "I'm trapped" (as mentioned by others here), I read through a bit of those and I'm fine again.