In high school and college, I had a hard time committing. I was routinely the one to break it off with boyfriends for one reason or another. Once I got to college, I realized my high school boyfriend wasn't really my type. The college boyfriends turned out to be jerks or just plain scary. I eventually ended up married to someone who turned out to be the scariest of all. After that one, I determined never to marry or date long-term ever again. Plus, looking at my history and my nature, I was scared I'd never be able to commit, anyway, and didn't want to hurt anyone else because of it. I was perfectly content to be on my own. Then, Mr. INTJ came along when I was 29, and we meshed like I didn't know was possible. Despite my best effort to hold myself back from him, we were drawn to each other. (I know. I know. This all sounds so sappy. (grin)) And, before we uttered a word aloud about marriage, I'd committed to him. We had talked about it being okay to date others and I got asked out on dates by others, but I declined. I determined, then, that if we ever married, I was committed to this one for life. And, we married. And, I'm still committed to make this last...unless he ever wants to be with someone else. In other words, it was an internal decision of loyalty...a conscious decision to make it permanent. Because I know of my tendencies, I wait out the rough spots of the marriage, and haven't regretted it. I've become stronger in my commitment and have been rewarded to find that my love for him has grown. So, I've seen that it is possible for an ISTP (possibly INTP) to commit. Determination and knowing yourself seem to help.
|